They pulled an all-nighter and it was, in Tony's view, insanely productive. They put together a long talk with a massive deck that included diagrams and photos and video clips and animations. Around dawn Loki went to bed (in the room's only bed. It occurred to Tony around his eighth cup of coffee that Loki was probably expected to sleep on the floor. Assholes.) while Tony rehearsed.

The part about his lab was the most tricky, because he'd only started letting Loki in there recently - once they were already friendly, and Loki was strutting around like he owned the place, dressed way too dapper to pass as oppressed. There weren't many workshop videos he could use... but there were a few, and they were pretty striking. "You guys may have heard from Thor that I have a flying suit of armor. This is it. Looks effortless now, no?" A fifteen-second highlight reel. "But it required intense work, testing, improvements. When I first made the suit, I did all of the testing myself. Can't say I enjoyed it." A workshop clip of him rocketing headfirst into a wall, then getting doused by a fire extinguisher. "My work is secret," he explained, "And valuable to my enemies, so I couldn't hire a stranger to do it. But it wasn't the kind of help you can ask your friends for. So I was stuck, for the longest time, being my own experimenter and test subject and note-taker. Until you so graciously offered me this guy." He'd gesture in Loki's direction.

"He does a pretty wide range of things. Starting with the menial stuff like clean up spills." They had a great shot of Tony standing over him while he wiped, snarling Next time I'm gonna have you lick it up. "All the way up to dangerous jobs like testing a new targeting system for rescue grabs." A clip of Loki stepping off a rooftop and Tony grabbing him in a dive. The video was cropped so that the safety net didn't show, and the audio filtered so that you could clearly hear him bitching that his arm was broken. (It wasn't. Tony had only ever dislocated the shoulder, tops, and since the latest improvements he wasn't even doing that.). "He's basically at my disposal for whatever I need." A clip of Loki plopping down at the bench, sweaty and haggard, and deadpanning into the camera: "Attempt number seven-hundred and forty two..." It was hard to use that clip with a straight face, because it had really only been attempt five or six. Loki just didn't have a lot of patience for the scientific method.

"It sounds fine," Loki groaned from under several pillows. "Now go to bed, Stark. You should do this rested, and you've only got a couple of hours left."

"I'm still tinkering."

"I'll tinker. I need to add some bits from your Iron Man documentary anyway." Loki got up, looking crabby and not at all well-rested himself. "Where is that?"

The actual finished movie was so slick and stylized it made his skin crawl. It was interview clips interspersed with shadowy fake bad guys moving among indistinct rock formations in the dark, narrated by voiceover he'd been too pissed off even to listen to recorded.

"You want the, uh, raw material," he said finally. Odin wouldn't be any more impressed with the fake stuff than he was. "It's heavily protected - protocol fourteen. Takes a minute." He sat down at the computer and let it scan his eyes and right ring finger, spoke a password, typed a password, and answered a series of color-matching questions. When the section finally opened up he sorted by date stamp and showed Loki where the good stuff was likely to be.

The first clip Loki looked at was him in the cave, with a bag over his head, the Ten Rings guys barking angrily at the camera. Blech. "Skip that one," he ordered, "I wasn't even conscious enough to narrate what the hell was going on. And if you stumble on any sex tapes, skip them too. I'm going to bed. Good night-slash-morning."

It took Loki only a few minutes to identify the best pieces about Stark in the desert caves. Enough to show that the man's enemies were numerous and brutal, that he'd fought them alone at overwhelming odds, that he'd triumphed using cleverness and a great deal of force. Some maps showing how many more there were left to kill - a job Stark was handling alone, as no other mortals could equal him in battle.

That presentation would establish that the mortal was worthy of respect, and that there was a great deal of hard labor to be done in assisting him. That should please Odin.

Once he was satisfied with what he'd put together, he spent a little time adding details elsewhere that Stark had missed.

Once he was done with that, he browsed through the secret files, as Stark was asleep and in no position to stop him. He started with the ones with the most boring titles - those were undoubtedly where the most interesting material was hidden. Ventilation Sys Test was Pepper Potts (whom Loki had still not been permitted to meet in the flesh) drunk on champagne and laughing as Stark tinkered with an arc reactor in a tube. "C'mere. Get in there," he ordered. "Lemme see you do it."

"No! I told you," she said, "You are your own mechanic from here on out. I am done! That was a one-time deal. I am never, ever sticking my hand into your body again." Silence. "Oh god - forget I said that."

Stark, of course, did the opposite. "Hm. So would it be accurate to say, Miss Potts-"

"No- Tony-"

"-... that on at least one occasion.. you have-"

"Tony!" She lunged at him, spilling her drink, and covered his mouth. "Oh my god. I can't believe you."

Once his mouth was uncovered he said: "If I pulled it out right now, what would you do?" He grabbed her wrist when she tried to climb off him. "The arc reactor - what did you think I meant?"

She pressed a finger to his lips. "Stop. Or I'll pull it out myself."

They kissed. (A clumsy kiss, in Loki's opinion; Stark was much smoother with the women he picked up in clubs.). Just when he was starting to wonder whether this would turn into a sex tape after all, Stark broke the kiss off in order to lean over and fiddle with the camera. "And that's a wrap for today, folks. We will be testing the unit another time."

"You will be testing the-" Potts argued, as the video ended.

The video was sweet - and terrifying. It had never occurred to him that Stark's machinery could break down - that he walked around just a faulty wire away from death at any given moment. And hardly even seemed to worry about it.

He watched a few other clips, but he was intruding on material that was clearly meant to be kept private and eventually he felt bad about it. He closed the folder and went to go wake Stark up so that they would have time to bathe and dress.

Stark yawned and checked the time. "So, what'd you get done in an hour and a half - did you make me look super impressive?"

"I'm impressed with you." It was only half a joke. "But I'd be more impressed if your hair weren't so greasy. Come on: bath."

The "bathtub" was more like a pool. Tony wished he had an hour to kill and a gallon of bubble solution, but he did the best he could with what he had and it was awesome - until Loki came into the bathroom and just sat there watching him.

Fortunately Tony Stark did not have a shy bone in his body. "You know," he said easily, still soaping himself, "In some places it's considered a little weird to barge in on another guy showering and just sit there staring creepily."

"Your machinery: is it working all right here?"

Why? He had never shown the slightest interest in the arc reactor before - even when Tony had talked about it, bragged about it, offered to show off some of what it could do. Hm. He looked closer and saw that Loki was staring hard at him, pale and fidgety, radiating tension.

Aha: a freakout was on the horizon. That was exactly what he needed, was for his partner to freeze into a useless ball of anxiety that couldn't manage rational thought.

Hopefully he could be talked off the ledge. Tony busted out his most casual, calming tone and went to try. "It's working great. And I brought a whole case of stuff out of my workshop just in case anything needs repair. I'm in good hands - I am literally the number-one expert in the universe on arc reactor technology."

Loki slid down off his bench to sit cross-legged on the floor, leaning so close Tony wondered if he might try to touch. "But if something were to go wrong with it," he pressed, "Would you even stay conscious?"

He sort of told the truth. "Yeah, usually. At least for a while." He supposed the worry was understandable - how much would it suck to stand there uselessly while your only hope for a decent life died right in front of you. "Tell you what," he offered, "When we get home, I'll sit down with you and teach you some basics. That way, on the off chance it ever acts up when you're around, you'll be able to help out. Okay?"

"Okay," Loki said at last, and sat back. "Sorry. I just-... I watched some videos of you working on it. I didn't realize. It's scary stuff."

"I promise I'm not going to kick off in front of you today, okay?" When Loki looked to be breathing again, he got up and went for a towel. "And today we have bigger problems than my arc reactor. Why don't you go get dressed for it."

Loki nodded and started stripping down, and Tony didn't comment on how gross it was that in Asgard it was apparently normal to use someone else's used bath water.

While Loki washed (in used bathwater, euw), Tony got dressed in his crazy space-villain outfit, loaded their presentation into a projector for Loki to carry, and tested the controls he'd installed in his borrowed armor-sleeves. (Vambraces. Whatever. Sounded like a orthodontic device you'd try sell Dracula: Count, your fangs will be straighter than you've ever seen them!)

"Remember," Loki told him once they were both in costume, "You needn't go out of your way to be an overbearing douchenozzle, but don't ever forget that I am beneath you. You mustn't be familiar or friendly or even polite."

"Take a chill pill. I got it," Tony said, and then his brain caught up with his ears. "And-, and I needn't be a what?"

Loki gave a defiant little shrug. "Lately I've been looking up all your earth words I didn't understand. I like that one."

Right - looking them up on a secret iPad he wasn't supposed to own. "Hey." He reached out and snatched the god by the chin - hard. "As awesome as our earth life is," he said, "This is not the place." Gave him a shake. "Today has to suck. You ready?"

The grip had to hurt, but Loki didn't pull away. "Yes, master."

The guards led them to the throne room. By custom Loki trailed behind the honor guard, much too far away to mention to Stark as they approached that it was very, very odd to hear the throne room so quiet.

When they got inside, the room was empty. "What the hell," Tony said to the guards. "Where's Odin?"

The leader of the guards, who had taken them all the way from their room without giving them any clue about what they would find (or not find) when they arrived, finally opened his mouth. "The Allfather's attention is on other matters today," he said. "Perhaps he will see you tomorrow."

"Gee, things must be really different here in Asgard," Stark said loudly. "I mean, where I live, if somebody unilaterally rescheduled a meeting they had requested, after the other party had traveled thousands of miles to see them, without even an in-person apology... that would be considered not just rude, but actually a deliberate message intended to convey an attitude of disrespect. It's so weird how customs differ, you know?"

The guard just said: "We'll show you back to your rooms."

As soon as they were alone again, Loki ripped off his suit jacket and hurled it onto the bed. "Stark! The first and only time you open your mouth to an Asgardian, and it's to be rude and sarcastic! What is the matter with you?"

"Me? The matter with me?!" Shit. He tried to calm down. "Look. I know you're stressed. I know we're in a dangerous place. But regardless go easy on your outfit, because we don't have the steamer here." He picked the jacket up off the bed and shook it out. Say something nice. "I am going to try and behave myself." That was fine... but then he slipped. "Hey, and I have this novel, crazy idea," he went on. "How about you try and behave yourself too? Like stop fucking shouting at me. That goes way beyond a couple of asshole remarks to some guard in an ugly helmet if anyone hears it - and anyway, for once, the fact that there's a shitshow going on is not my fault."

Loki paced hard but didn't say anything else. By now Tony knew enough Loki-ology to recognize it as a good sign, so he didn't say anything else either. Eventually the pacing slowed. "Sorry. I know it's not your fault."

He was willing to meet in the middle. "Five percent my fault, maybe. I did run my mouth a little." Loki cracked a smile at that. "Any idea what that was about, by the way? Cancelling on us with no heads-up?"

Loki shrugged. "I assume it's what you said: a deliberate humiliation."

In a way that could actually be a good thing - it meant, at least, that Odin probably wasn't planning on inviting them in and then smiting them dead on the spot. Tony had previously put the chances of that pretty low, maybe two percent, but it was nice to be able to cross the possibility all the way off the list.

"And what about the kiddie table - what's that supposed to tell us?"

"The what?"

He rolled his eyes. Whatever research the guy claimed to be doing, plenty of basic Earth words still sailed right over head. "Tonight's dinner plans, spaceboy." That had been even weirder than the cancelled meeting; the guard had said over his shoulder, without even looking at them: You will be dining with the Prince tonight. Not in the main hall.

"I don't know. How should I know?"

"Well I dunno, maybe because Odin is your dad-"

"He is not-!"

"-and your king-"

"Not anymore-"

"AND IS THE GUY WHO RAISED YOU AND TAUGHT YOU WHAT PASSES FOR MANNERS IN YOUR FUCKED-UP WORLD!"

Loki fell silent. Finally.

"So," Tony said, much more calmly. "After living together for hundreds of years, I'm figuring you've got to be on the same page. Tell me what's going on here."

Loki sighed and plopped down on the bed. Put his head in his hands. "Stark." He sounded only tired now - not crazy. "If I were anywhere close to on the same page as Odin, do you really think I'd be living out my days as the slave of a mortal?"

Great. So they were up shit's creek without a paddle or a guide.

(Actually they did have a paddle; they'd packed it just in case. But still.)

TBC.

Sorry the last few have only been weekly updates instead of every other day. Most of this is new material though, not what I'd originally written, and writing from scratch takes longer than just polishing & posting. Next update will likely be the weekend again.

Thanks for sticking with me this far, and especially thank you to everybody who's commented! I love hearing from you guys.