Wow! 200 reviews! That makes me so incredibly happy! :) ...I want to thank everybody who's ever left a review (especially my loyal reviewers who leave a comment for every chapter) ...you guys have inspired me more than you know! Thank you so much!

Anyways...on with the story... Sorry for keeping ya'll in suspense for so long… :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha…

Chapter 21: My Confusion On Many Things

-Start—

"Uh…What?"

My mouth seemed to have a mind of its own…which was a good thing, because the one in my head was currently under construction due to the huge blackout it had just experienced. Koga's eyes were boring into mine, and even without my Demon Ring on I could sense the determination that was emanating from him. I suddenly grew very aware of how close we were.

"Kagome…"

His hand tightened around mine.

"…You know I'd never hurt you right?"

He continued to stare at me, his eyes searching my own blank ones.

"Do you like spending time with me?"

I let my head loll back and forth in a nod. My brain was starting to repair itself, connect the dots, acknowledge what was going on here. I forced my mouth to move. "You know I Iove spending time with you…," I gently pulled my hand from his, "but I can't just let Inuyasha go."

"Then I'll wait."

I paused. "Wait?"

Koga reached for my hand again. "I'm not going to give up that easily Kagome."

The warmth of his hand pressed into my own and a shiver travelled up my arm and through the rest of my body. I closed my eyes, trying to sort through my tangled emotions. "What if…what if I can't return your feelings? No matter how long you wait. Does that mean you'll start to hate me?" I opened my eyes and stared at him quietly.

He smirked. "That'll never happen because you already have feelings for me."

"And how do you figure that?"

"Come on Kagome…you can't ignore the fact that there's some kind of attraction between us." He leaned in closer; close enough that I could see nothing but his face around the edges of my hood. "Remember that day we went shopping for your costume?" I felt my heart rate speed up, and his eyes flashed at me knowingly. "There was a moment in that dressing room that had both of us holding our breath. And you know it."

Koga drew back and smiled ruefully. "So now I just have to wait until you realize how much you care for me."

I sat there for a moment trying to assess my own heart. Did I really care for Koga? Was it possible to have feelings for someone and not even be aware of it? And what about Inuyasha? I knew I still had feelings for him…especially after our little run in today.

My mind trailed off as my body began to tingle. My senses spiked, my hair lengthened, and the chill in the air became almost unnoticeable. Koga lowered my hood as my transformation finished. "Our ride is almost over."

He was right. Our seat was nearly to the bottom. When we finally reached the unloading platform, the carnie gripped the safety bar and lifted it up, staring suspiciously at the rather large dent that had magically appeared on it. Koga and I left quickly as possible.

"So what do you wanna ride next? We've still got some time…."

I glanced at Koga and then down at my feet, suddenly very nervous. What was I supposed to do? Did I act normal? Distant? Should I completely ignore him?

"Let's do a fast ride now…," he continued.

My head snapped up, and I forced my doubts away. Act normal Kagome…it's just Koga… "Sure," I responded. "How about that one?"

Koga squinted into the distance, searching through the droves of people for the ride I'd suggested. "That one?" His eyes travelled upward. "The tall one?"

"Scared?"

"Pfft…yeah right. That's just my type…let's go." He laced his fingers through mine and began to walk.

Wait Wait Wait! I didn't move. "Koga…"

He glanced back at me, perfectly innocent. "What?"

"I don't…I don't want you to think I'm encouraging you." I looked down at our locked hands. "I mean, I like holding your hand and stuff…but I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

His mouth hitched up in a devious grin. "Did you just say you like holding my hand?"

"See! You're already taking it the wrong way!"

"So you don't like it?"

"I do like it!...It's just…I like holding your hand as a friend."

Koga arched an eyebrow. "As a friend?"

"Yes…because friends hold hands." I'd told Inuyasha that exact same thing years ago when we were children. But now, even to my ears, it sounded like a weak argument.

He shrugged. "Okay then…as friends."

I relaxed when he began to smile again, glad that he'd taken it well. I don't want to hurt you Koga…because I, of all people, understand the pain of an unrequited love…

Many rides and two hours later, we dizzily made our way back to the stage to prepare for our last concert of the day. The brilliant sunset from earlier had faded into a deep midnight black, punctuated by thousands of flashing lights and high pitched squeals of excited riders.

Koga and I met up with Ginta and Hakkaku backstage and we all exchanged cheerful words (the two wolf demons looked immensely relieved over Koga's change in mood since they last saw him). I could feel my playful excitement begin to transfer into pumping adrenaline as our performance time crept closer and closer. This was going to be our biggest concert yet.

And we would be on in less than 10 minutes.

My whole body was pulsing with the sounds of the crowd, and minutes later, when our band name was announced, my ears began to ring with their eager voices. Koga's strong presence behind me urged me up the short flight of stairs and onto the stage….

…and then I was suddenly the focus of hundreds of people.

Oh. Crap.

I nearly peed myself.

There were so many people! More than I had initially thought…it seemed as though the whole fair had gathered.

It took several deep gulps of air and the sound of Hakkaku's drumsticks clicking together to make me think rationally. Relax, they don't know who you are, Kagome…So what if you mess up or sour a note? It's not like they'll look down on Kagome Higurashi…

I felt a burst of confidence. None of these people knew me. I could do what I wanted…

Oh, and if it helps, my mind added, just imagine them all in their underwear….

I sank down into the bathtub with a sigh of relief. Today had been a long day. A very long day.

Had it really been just this morning that I had run into Kikyo at that gas station?

I shook my head, rapidly pushing thoughts of her away, and focused on finding some soap instead. I glanced around the unfamiliar bathroom, and let out a delighted cry when I found an assortment of scented liquids and colorful lotions laid out next to the bathtub. Jackpot.

The band was staying the night in a hotel, located just down the street from the Kyoto Fair. Naraku had apparently thought ahead and booked a couple of rooms for us, and (being the considerate guy he was) made certain that we had the most expensive ones. I'm sure he expected to be paid back in full by the end of the weekend (that goldigger!). But by the time we'd finished that concert I was all to glad to find out that we didn't have a 3 hour car ride ahead of us. So perhaps I couldn't complain too much…

I stopped sorting through the large pile of soaps and paused for a second. Geez…but what will Mama say? She's probably worried sick… Naraku had better made up a cover story for me!...

I selected a brown bottle marked Gingerbread and poured enough into the steaming water to make bubbles come up to my chin. Ooooh, yeeeaaaahh. I sank back against the padded lip of the tub and relaxed, letting my mind wander.

Which was stupid.

Because my mind went straight to Inuyasha and Koga.

And try as I might, I could not escape from them.

Inuyasha… I pictured his fierce golden eyes, long silver hair,…my ex-best friend…

And then Koga…A toothy grin, tan complexion, dangerous blue eyes…an amazing personality…

Geez…What am I supposed to do?

Sometime during the concert, I had managed to realize that Koga did mean something to me. It was probably in the moment that he had gotten too close to the edge of the stage and nearly been dragged off by a swarm of fangirls. I had relaxed when I saw that he was able to escape, but when I saw him wink back at them, my chest had clenched in an all too familiar way.

Envy.

It had practically been pulsing through my veins.

Why should he pay any attention to them when he had just confessed to me? Shouldn't I be the center of his attention? The only girl he looked at?

My hands curled into fists under the water.

They were stupid reasons to get jealous…but they were enough to make me realize my feelings a little bit better. I obviously didn't love Koga like I loved Inuyasha…but there was definitely potential. Especially if I continued to spend so much time with him. Over the past few months I had grown close to Koga, who knew how much closer we'd be in a few more? Maybe even close enough to date... But could I do that? Could I push Inuyasha completely out of my heart and allow another guy to replace him?

Ugh…

I ducked my head under the water in an attempt to escape from my thoughts. GoAwayGoAwayGoAway!, I chanted to the boys in my head. Stop confusing me… I held my breath for as long as possible before bursting out of the bubbly water with a gasp.

"Okay!" I said with determination. "The quicker I get clean, the quicker I get out. And the quicker I get out, the quicker I get to go to bed!" I clenched a scrubby in one fist and a random soap bottle in the other. I quickly combined the two and began scrubbing at my arms almost violently, fully absorbed in my task.

No room for boys in my head.

Nope.

None at all.

If I had thought Saturday was long, then Sunday was ten times longer. My lack of sleep did not mix well with the stress of performing three concerts…and watching Koga flirt with the same girls from last night didn't improve my mood much.

By the end of the day, faced with a long ride home, we were all in a foul temper.

"Dammit…," Koga cursed, flinging the car door open with a little more force than necessary, "why do we have to pay that bastard? That douche bag of a driver just informed me that, besides the initial 40%, we also owe Naraku the hotel fee and gas money! What the hell? That leaves us with almost nothing!"

"Well," I complained sourly as I squished into the backseat with Ginta, "I vote we save up what money we have left for a bigger car."

"That'll take us years at this rate."

I scooted closer to Ginta, making more room for Hakkaku. "Exactly how much money do we have left?"

Koga scowled back at us from the front seat. " 'Bout a 160 dollars…that's barely 40 bucks for each of us…"

I shrugged, the movement barely noticeable due to the close proximity of Ginta and Hakkaku. "It's a start…."

By Monday, I was nearly at my limit. Exhaustion fogged my mind and slowed my movements. Staying awake during class was going to be hell.

Somehow the other three seemed to be better off than me.

"It's because we're demons," Koga explained as I succumbed to a jaw-breaking yawn. "We recover quicker."

I merely grunted in response and continued to tiredly copy the notes that adorned the board. Sheer will was the only thing that kept me upright. I spared a sleepy glance at the clock. Our lunch period would begin in less than 10 minutes, and, oh, what I would give to be able to sleep through the whole thing...

My eyes shifted back down to the board.

But I couldn't.

There was something I had to do.

My nervousness temporarily cut through the fog in my mind and kept me wide awake. I twisted my hands together and made my way into the lunchroom, searching for a particular person.

And there she was…early as usual. I'd gotten here as quickly as possible, before the seat next to her was occupied, and now, it was in extreme cautiousness that I sat down next to her.

"Oh…," Sango glanced at me sideways, "hey Kagome."

I flinched at the coldness in her voice, but got straight to the point. "We need to talk Sango."

She calmly forked a green bean. "About what?"

"About why you're avoiding me…"

Apparently my choice of words triggered something in her, because she suddenly dropped her cool facade. "Me?" she said incredulously. "I'm avoiding you? Are you serious Kagome?"

"Uh…yeah."

"Oh, get real!" Sango rolled her eyes with vicious sarcasm. "I'm not avoiding you. You're just too busy with your new friends to spend any time with your old ones."

"Like I have a choice anymore!" I shot back. "I have to spend time with them because all my old friends keep ignoring me!"

"Well you started it! Ever since that costume party you've taken every opportunity to avoid me!"

A good portion of the lunchroom was staring at us now. But my fatigued mind was able to focus on only one thing at a time. I thought quickly as I could, trying to find a way to make her understand my point of view. "I avoided everybody for one day and then was out of school for a whole week because I was sick." I glared at her. "And then when you didn't come to see me the whole week I was out, I kinda got the idea that you were mad at me…"

Sango quirked an eyebrow. "Well I didn't come because I thought you were mad at me."

"But… why would you think that? Just because I didn't talk to you for one day…"

Her eyes shifted toward Kikyo guiltily. "I…I don't know…"

A sudden wave of fury pulsed through me. "What did she tell you Sango?"

Sango schooled her emotions and lowered her voice. "What did who tell me?"

"Kikyo!" I exploded, not caring who heard me. "What did she say that made you think I was mad at you?" Kikyo. Could anyone be more complicated? How was it possible for her to show so much love toward her sister and then turn around and endlessly cause me pain?

"She didn't say anything to me," Sango murmured. "Just drop it Kagome."

I stood up, infuriated beyond sense. "Fine," I ground out. "I see how it is…" A couple of emotions flitted across Sango's face and for a second I thought she was going to apologize and tell me everything…but then she turned away and continued to fork her green beans with nonchalance.

Fine…see if I care.

I strode over to Koga irately, ignoring the whispers that were beginning to spread throughout the lunchroom like a virus. My posture was rigid as I forced my way in between Koga and Ginta.

"What—"

"Don't…" I hissed, as I settled in. I drew in a deep breath. "Don't talk to me."

The wolves immediately backed off. I crossed my arms on the table and let my head fall onto them in weary abandon. What does Kikyo have against me? She's taken Inuyasha and now she's turned Sango against me… What's next?

I stayed like that until lunch ended, refusing to eat or drink anything. It wasn't until we were on the way back to the classroom that Koga decided to break the deadly silence. "Kagome…you still aren't eating right…"

I ignored him, staring straight ahead.

"I bet you didn't have breakfast this morning either…"

He was right. I'd slept in and completely skipped it.

Koga sighed. "I'm going to have to force you to eat aren't I? Alright then, meet me in the courtyard after school. I'm going to take you somwhere."

I fixed my stare on him. "What?"

"You heard me," he said. "Oh…and don't try to ditch me…because I will hunt you down Kagome…" I glared at his back in defeat as we made our way into the classroom, knowing that he would carry out that threat with no problem if need be.

Fine…I'd go. But that didn't mean I had to be pleasant.

"Ready?"

I frowned at him. "I want to go home and sleep." Koga grabbed my hand, and forced me to walk. "Where are you planning on taking me anyways?"

"WacDonalds," he replied. "You, my friend, are in severe need of a Big Wac. Eat one of those, and all you're problems are solved."

"Uh, no…I believe you are confused. Only chocolate has that power."

"But chocolate is also extremely unhealthy for you."

"Pfft…Like a Big Wac is any better," I snorted.

A few minutes later we were both seated at a table in the nearest WacDonalds, a Big Wac in front of us both.

"Now eat," Koga demanded. I stared down at the huge burger, letting the smell of it waft up to my nose. It did smell good… Maybe just a couple of bites… I had the thing completely polished off within 5 minutes and found myself blushing at how obviously hungry I had been.

"Better?" Koga laughed. "You've got ketchup all over your face."

I grabbed a napkin and cleaned myself. "It was good…"

"You sound surprised."

"I am," I said thoughtfully. "I don't think I've had one of those since my dad died…" Koga's face grew solemn, and I quickly waved a hand at him. "It's okay… I don't have a problem talking about him. I've…I've worked through that stage."

Yet despite my words I could feel my throat growing tight. I stared out the window, trying to find something else for us to talk about. Koga remained silent, apparently giving me some time to myself to calm down.

But suddenly all thoughts of my dad and Koga flew out of my head. I stared at the grocery store across the street, watching as Kikyo and Inuyasha walked out with heavy bags on each arm. What the… Have they been grocery shopping? What's up with that?

My curiosity spiked further as they started heading in the opposite direction of Inuyasha's house. And where the heck are they going?

In a sudden movement, I stood up, my chair scraping harshly against the tile floor.

"Are you going to follow them?"

I glanced down at Koga and I realized that he had been studying me the whole time. He really can read me like a book…I noted absently as I nodded in confirmation. A vertical line appeared between my brows as I drew them together in worry. Koga may be able to read me well, but I could also read his emotions pretty clearly too. And right now the hurt look on his face was making me a bit uncomfortable. Following Inuyasha isn't exactly a positive sign that I'm willing to let him go…

But I had to follow him. I was determined to find out more about Kikyo. I needed to understand what fueled her hatred for me.

Koga stood up and took a last sip of his Dr. Pepper. "Well then," he said, "it'll make things easier for us if you're in your youkai form."

"Wait…us?"

"Yeah," his blue gaze met mine. "I'm coming with you."

-End-

Thanks for waiting so patiently for this update. What with finals and other various subjects of madness, it was hard to find time to write.

But I'm officially out for Christmas break, so expect more updates!

Read and Review!

To Shadow6689- Thanks for the suggestion!…It would make the story interesting to add in that little twist. But it would also make it a little more difficult to follow along with my original plans, and if I want those to work out then it'd probably be best for me not to fiddle with them… :)

-RedThread