"D...Daddy..."
The sweet little angel with the colorless hair tugged her sheets closer upon waking up. She was got, sweaty, and not to mention fearfully bothered by the horrible dream that had just taken form inside the borders of her fragile, childish mind. Her whisper, pure and innocent, called out into the dark room she called her own. Bun-Bun, the stuffed toy rabbit she had taken such a liking to, was there in her arms and returning her affection just by being there for her. But the stuffed rabbit wasn't enough this time.
Linka rose up and set the thing down. "D...Daddy!"
The nightmare was fading already from her memory, but she still had it active, and the adrenaline rush she got from it made her cry a little. Her sobbing was just like any normal little girl's own.
Why was she crying? She was out of the damn dream.
What was the dream about? Linka kept her mind off of it and got out of her bed. The alarm clock on the desk beside her bed was reading 2:26 AM, a very dead hour in which she should be asleep. She flicked the lights on and took a gentle sigh of relief. The light made her feel safe now. Safe, and tranquil. She still wanted comfort from her father, however, so off she decided to go out of her room.
She didn't actually, as the doorknob turned by itself and caught her by surprise. In, came none other than Lincoln Loud, the father figure of the girl. "Oh!"
"Heyah, sweetheart. What's with the sudden noise? Are you okay?" He spoke in such a quiet, firm tone that always eased her. Not once had he shouted at or with her, but the highest his voice volume go when he expressed content at any test, achievement, or little success that Linka would pass in, or win at. It made her happy to see father proud of her. His voice, soothing and gentle, one to never make Linka feel off or uncomfortable.
"I just..." She scratched the back of her neck, embarrassed and scared. "It was..."
Being an eleven year old girl, there was no way she could have the mind to beg to allow her to sleep with him. She felt that could calm the nerves and bring about a good sleep. "I just had a bad dream is all," she nervously admitted.
"Oh, a nightmare, you mean? I'm sure it was nothing. Come, Linka." Lincoln took her hand and guided her back into her bed. Once tucking her in, he planted a nice, but dry kiss on her forehead.
"Daddy, what if I get another one again?" She was lightly trembling underneath her pretty pink covers, but he didn't see it. Or maybe he was, but rather ignored it.
"Don't worry, Linka. You will not have one, as long as I live. And that's a promise."
The young girl pulled her sheet closer, to the point they came close to hiding her lips. "Do you really mean that, daddy?"
He simply nodded with a wide smile, and then proceeded to pat her head gently. "You sleep well, okay? We have a long day ahead of us after you wake up, okay?"
She returned the gesture with a sweet, sugar-filled smile. "Yes, dad. I can't wait to go on the hiking trip."
"It's going to be tons of fun, my little princess. Anyways..." He moved backwards out of the room. "We must get our sleep to drive us in the day. I'm going to bed, sweetheart." Lincoln switched off the lights in the room and exited the exact way he had come inside.
"Yes... Yes, dad..." Linka agreed.
Morning
She was happy to know that sleep had gone uninterrupted for the rest of the night. She was the first one up of the two, and was just heading for the bathroom to shower when she looked at her father's bedroom was half open, right across from her. "Huh?"
Had he gone out awhile back? It was around 7 A.M. at the time, so maybe he was down there, cooking up the favorite platter of eggs and bacon Linka loved to eat. "Hey, dad, I'm up!" She looked below the staircase, trying to listen for the unmistakable sound of bacon frying and sizzling so perfectly, that the mere sound made her mouth water and her tongue wiggle out of place.
None of that was what she heard down there, however. Not even a reply. The bottom floor of the house was dead empty, apart from her. "Hello?"
He couldn't have been in his bedroom, or it would be closed. "Where are you?"
Linka wandered into Lincoln's territory, peeping around for him. Nothing. His room, pretty much identical to his own closet from the good old kid days, was vacant. The huge queen bed wasn't tidy, and the computer desk in front of that, it had been turned on, but left in idle. The closet on the right side of the bed was also open, and dark. From the looks of it, she deduced Lincoln had gone out while she was still asleep.
Maybe he'd come back in time to leave with her for their hiking trip.
Linka didn't think much of it and waltzed out of his room to shower. In minutes, she was undressed from her orange nightgown and let the hot water violate and run itself down and all over her body. She scrubbed her hair with shampoo, and worked her way down to soap down the rest of her body. She lost her drowsiness somewhere in between, now fully active and awake for the day.
When she finished, Linka dried herself off with the blue towel that hung over the railing outside the shower. She then wrapped into it and let the steam fly out as she left the room. "Ahh..." It surely felt nice like it felt time and time again.
Exiting the room, she caught glimpse of a stranger sight in her father's room. The door was actually clpsed this time, and Linka was sure she didn't shut it. She figured he was home, so she, still in her blue towel, went over to knock. "Dad!"
She got no response, and didn't know what to make of it. "Dad?"
Again, no reply. Linka scratched her head and turned her back to his bedroom, when it happened. She heard creaking from behind, and did another 180 degree turn. "H-huh?"
Whatever would be visible from her angle was rendered dark. The room became a depressing pit of empty nothingness that Linka couldn't see past through. She gulped, astonished but scared for reasons she couldn't explain. It was not like night, when the average darkness made Lincoln's bedroom go through the nightly schedule for a darker version of it. "D-daddy?"
Three faint footsteps rolled off from within the blackened pit. She believed it was Lincoln at first, but it wasn't him who emerged from the dark. Her bottom jaw dropped in surprise once the woman, Lynn Loud, greeted her with an piece of wood in her left hand. "Hi, Linka. Daddy's gonna be away for a long while."
The girl was terribly confused by her appearance. "Wait... I know you..." Linka directed her eyes to the object in Lynn's hand. There was a reddish color stained on the visible end of it. Blood. It looked like blood to her. "W-where's my-"
A hand that suddenly touched her shoulder had cut her off. The feel was elegantly gentle, calm as the familiar touch that she knew was her father's. She was glad to know he was here, and could possibly explain what was going on. She didn't think of how he ended up behind her, or how Lynn had popped out like that.
"Dad, what's going-" It was definitely the voice of Lincoln, but Linka's eyes witnessed a more graphic sight. Lincoln was bleeding from the side of his waist, which was leaving a bloody mark on his shirt, and ran below past his set of jeans. What was more, was that his entire skin tone looked to that of a zombie, a nasty decomposing green shade. "It's okay, my child. Lynn and Luna will take care of you from now on."
The entire hall had then begun to stretch, with him along with it. Linka raised an arm to grab him, whatever he was. She trembled, scared of what he meant. "D-dad... You need to get to the hospital." She missed her snatch, unable to move. "Where are you going? Dad? Dad! What is going on?!"
"I have to go now, Linka. Behave yourself..." He faded out more quickly than she could comprehend.
At this point, Linka was running. Running at her maximum speed to catch him. "DON'T GO! PLEASE!" Suddenly, she was crying as she kept sprinting, but she didn't know why. It was all surreal. It had to be nothing more than a lie. Some sort of dream, maybe an act. An act...
He ended up vanishing before her, but it was only when Linka tripped that she was forced to give in. The crying girl wiped away her tears, not noticing that Lynn, now joined by Luna, had shown up to both sides of her, and touched her shoulders as consolation. Linka got up and faced them. "W-where is he going?! Tell me!"
Luna remained silent, but Lynn simply tossed the plank of wood at Linka's feet. "He's down."
Linka's eyes shot up. "D-down?" What did she mean by that? Where was down? And, who was she? Why did Linka seem to have memory loss at this time? She couldn't even remember her...-
Dream. Nightmare.
Linka took another look at the plank. Blood. Linka put two and two together. "D-did you do it? Did you kill him?!"
Both their faces had no tell to tale before, but at the question, Lynn broke her expressionless form and took a step forward. "Yes, yes I did. I killed Lincoln Loud, little one." Lynn crossed her arms and chuckled. "He was just a murderous man, nothing more than that. And the same goes for you." Lynn pointed and then poked Linka pretty hard.
"N-no, that's not true! That's not true!" She got angry all of a sudden, a secret flame that was small until a canister of gasoline had suddenly been thrown into it without warning. Linka picked up the bloody plank and then swung it to strike Lynn in her face. She didn't stop there, and only continued to beat Lynn to a pulp. The jock was not acting to defend herself, allowing Linka to let her beat her up.
The white-haired girl hit her everywhere. Head, arms, legs, chest. She didn't let up, she didn't give in. Lynn was bleeding from freshly made scrapes in most of her face. Her mouth and nose followed cue and dripped blood as well. Lynn then smiled and the clapped, which finally ceased the daughter. "You make it too easy, junior psycho."
Linka's rage flared up. She was being challenged by Lynn. "SHUT UP!" She swung the plank one last time, aiming for the top of Lynn's head. But Luna, who had been a statue up to this point, made a move. She stopped Linka from delivering the death blow.
"Enough, Linka," Luna declared. "We don't want you being responsible for the death of another one of us."
Linka had yet to receive context. "Another-" She blinked, and once opening her eyes, Luna was on the floor, motionless. And Lynn was back to normal, or at least no longer bruised and bleeding. She was at Luna's side, crying right into her chest. "What is this?"
"Me. It's me, Linka," came the voice of a second Luna. Linka had just taken notice that the scene had changed. No longer was she in her house, but in an unknown location. The Agency base, actually. "I'm dead, and it's your fault."
She shook her head in denial. "No! No, I didn't kill anyone! I would never hurt a-" It came back, all of it, at once. The clones, Lincoln's death, the current mission, and-
Linka turned around, and sure enough, Nnyl's chamber was empty. Near it were the bodies of Leia and Tabby. "This wasn't on me! How could we have known this would happen?!"
"My death's on you! Now I can't come back! I can't laugh anymore with Luan. I can't have a friendly arm wrestling match with Lynn! I won't be able to see Lana advance her mechanic skills she so enthusiastically wants to advance and sharpen. And you know what the worst thing about this is?" The second Luna then faded into oblivion, and Linka thought it was over. She looked back to where Lynn was with the dead Luna, but another obstacle was in place.
"Luna won't get to see me raise my baby," Lily softly said while holding baby Lincoln in her arms. "Or see him grow up."
Linka looked away. "Stop..."
"It's bad enough my son has been stripped away from meeting many of his aunt's, and not to mention his grandparents, and the person he's been named after!" Lily's eyes watered, but Linka kept her eyes off of her. "Now you've gone and put Lynn and Luna in danger! And look what happened! I can't stand another one of us dying! It hurts... It hurts so much... Why do you choose that over us? What does death have that we don't?!"
And suddenly, there it was. There was the reason that validated all of Linka's ideals. He reasoning. Her willingness to hurt and kill. The path that she was walking alone.
And in that moment, the whole area went dark for the last time. Dark, save for a park bench that was underneath a bright light that Linka has to shield her eyes from. She had no choice but to walk to it. Another probable berating from Lupa, no doubt. Linka sighed and sat down. Sure enough, a figure did appeared besides her, but it wasn't Lupa.
"Hey, Linka," Lincoln greeted. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. "This feels right."
The black zone reverted into the park Linka recognized as the same one from Royal Woods. The one they both loved to go to. "Feels are not always good. You said you were leaving, but you're here. Why is that?"
"I did say that, and it's half-true. I'm here, but I'm not here. Only you have the mind to figure it out for yourself. You know, I never did ask you what that nightmare was..."
Linka looked down to the ground. The second she remembered what was what, had also included what she had dreamed of. It was true, he never asked, nor did she offer to explain what it was. "It was stupid, okay? A dumb dream that... That I see isn't one at all."
"Oh?" Lincoln wrapped his arm around Linka and pulled her close to him. "Well, what's the harm in telling me? We can keep a secret, can't we?" He said it in such a friendly, suave manner, and nothing like the Lincoln that spawned out of hellfire.
"Why would I tell you?" Linka pulled away from him and stood up from the bench. She made several steps forward before stopping in a dramatic stance. She paused, clenching her fists tightly while still keeping her head down. "I know the truth..."
She surmised correctly where she was, where she should've known she'd been in since the beginning. Her jaws tightened against each other, and she let out a small growl of anger. She then turned back to face him and finally screamed what she knew she had to say.
"YOU'RE NOT REAL! YOU'RE DEAD!"
Lincoln's smile flipped upside down. "Linka... What was the dream?"
Linka gasped at the question, not expecting him to go all bipolar on her. "Dream? You still wanna know?!" She then released the strain from her body and causally returned to the bench. It was rather odd that she had brought a calm to herself, if it didn't come from another source and into her system. "Alright, I'll tell you..."
Lincoln didn't have the notion to face her this time. He looked straight ahead, looking over a scene of some of the Loud kids playing around the park. Lana and Lola were making sand castles in the sandbox; Lynn and Lincoln were in the see-saw, competing for the title of the heaviest; and lastly, Lucy was with Lily, playing corpse in the grass, but Lily was really playing with Lucy's bangs and giggling.
"It was you. I had a nightmare where... You were dead, and I'd never see you again," Linka painfully admitted. "Now I see... It's actual reality. Lynn, dad. Lynn took you away from me-"
"Lynn killed me because she saw fit. You can't hurt Lynn for that, no matter how much you want to. I understand if you hate her for that reason alone."
"I hate her... I hate them. I couldn't take living there, with them."
"And why is that? Why are you exactly where you are now? Why do you still want me back?"
Linka gulped.
"I know you know the answer, but you never gave it thought. We have the same memories, but you call me your father instead. I've always disregarded it, but I think you need to face it."
"I do know... It's because..." Linka teared up. She swallowed her fear and accepted things were as she had once believed them to be. "You've always been the only person to understand me! You were the one who I coud really trust! Now that you're gone..."
Lincoln began to vanish again, only this time without any illusion of the false landscape, and so did the row of kids in the park. The park turned empty and lifeless, just like the hole in Linka's heart.
"...I feel alone in the world."
The truth, no longer hidden away in the cage Linka kept away from the others. She could never tell anyone how she felt, for what would they say? The same thing she didn't want to hear, which would consist of "You're not alone," or "Awww," or maybe even some goddamn speech about opening up to gain essential human traits they didn't believe her to have possessed. How could she tell anyone she felt that way? How could she say she missed them, when she knew they did as well? How could she? How could she live like this for so long? Why was she know seeing that? After thirteen years of being without Lincoln, why now? Was she that good at penting it up, or eas it perhaps that each dispute with Luna would release the ill of her heart?
The matter of the fact was that she knew why it was. She needed him, she wanted him, she missed him sorely. She needed him to feel complete. A rather selfish reason at that. But he wouldn't ever return to her again.
Another thing was that Linka had begun to feel guilty. For once in her life, she saw it. She had seen the consequences of her own actions. The scenarios made sense to her, and Luna's death was truly blood on Linka's hands. Maybe she deserved to be imprisonment.
She woke up, completely sweaty to the point the bus seat was soaked heavily with her fluids. She reeked terribly bad and tried to cool herself down. Her guess is that she had a stroke on the ride to the prison, which hadn't ended yet. "Fucking asshole, get yourself an air conditioner on this piece of shit!" She screamed to the driver, who had chosen to ignore her as his response.
All of this, it had been a ploy all along. The road to danger, to death, it served as a gate to see him again. Linka was never in there to get a large enough body count, but rather to paint a target on her back to get everyone to kill her, the secret death wish she wanted. And it was only now that she loooed at it that way. How could Lupa understand this? Lupa, not different from Linka, but was missing some components that could make them equal. Oh well, no need to think about it now.
Linka looked back out the window, ready for the next chapter in her life.
AN: I think this was much needed for me to tell another Linka tale that dwells deep within the roots of her being, one that shows the exploitation of her actions. Now it's known to her; Linka feels guilt and regret up to here. With that in mind, how can she possibly prevail against the evil Nnyl? Will Lupa be the heroine of this story? Will Lucky forgive Linka for hiding a critical fact involving his mother? Find out next time, on 2039!