(I wasn't going to upload a chapter for a few days because the one I am working on is SO long, but I decided it would be easier on me/less stressful/so much better for you guys if I just broke it into and uploaded it over several chapters; that way I can keep updating relatively frequently, but not panic only the 4,000 word chapter that is trying to kill me~ enjoyyyy!

ps - oops I accidentally docpod'ed, MY BAD.

pps - sorry not sorry)

Slowly, Lauren is pulled from a what feels like a deep sleep. Her eyes open slowly, afraid of where she was going to wake up – though she couldn't for the life of her think of why she should be scared. Come to think of it, she couldn't think of anything at all. She blinks the sleep out of her eyes and takes in her surrounds – they seem familiar yet completely new at the same time. A hospital room, she thinks. What am I doing in a hospital room? Lauren scans her small portion of the room, which is empty lest for herself, laying comfortably on the bed. She hears voices on the other side of the drawn hospital curtain, however, and sits up as she strains her ears to hear them.

"...and it's been almost 5 years, Doctor Chambers. Has there really not been any changes since I was here last?"

She hears a low chuckle – a man, probably older, his voice empathetic and comforting. Definitely the doctor, she thinks.

"You were just here last week! You know I would have called you if there were any changes in her condition. And please, it has been 5 years now. Call me Charles."

"Okay", the other voice sighs, "Thank you Charles. I'll just go check on her one more time if that's okay."

The other voice – a woman, Lauren notes, sounds attractive from what the doctor can tell. The voice sounds familiar somehow, the way it is sweet yet determined at the same time, the way it sounds like she's smiling as she speaks; even the sigh she heard through the thin fabric of the curtain sounded familiar, as if she'd heard it a million times before. She thinks on it, focuses on every syllable until suddenly the realization hits her like a freight train. Lauren swallows hard before forcing her vocal chords to work.

"N... Nadia?"

The curtain is ripped back by the man (Charles, Lauren thinks, the doctor), who has shock etched into his tired features. He drops his clipboard, but Lauren doesn't even hear it clatter to the ground when her eyes fall on what his body is hiding; Nadia stands behind him, just as beautiful as Lauren remembers her (Why does it feel like so long since I've seen you, Nadia?), and slowly staggers forward on unsure feet, the tears already welling up.

"Lauren...", Nadia stumbles to the bed, grabbing Lauren's face in her hands and frantically looking back and forth between the doctor's own confused eyes, "You're awake."

What does she mean, 'you're awake'?

Is this heaven?

Am I dead?

Lauren gently pulls her head out of Nadia's grasp and actually looks around the room. She has various IVs and cathaders hooked into her arms, a heart monitor's steady (yet increasing) beeping can be heard, and an EKG sits idly in the corner. The scene in familiar, the set up itself is familiar, though she has no idea why – outside of what she knows as a doctor, of course. She looks back up at Nadia, finding it hard to formulate sentences but having far too many questions to not speak.

"I... A coma?"

The tears begin to fall, and Nadia nods slowly.

"How long?"

Nadia begins sobbing – all she can think about is that question. It's all she's been able to think about since the day Lauren fell into the coma after coming down with a rare illness when the couple was in the Congo half a decade ago. What am I going to tell her, she would think, how am I going to explain to her that a year of her life is gone? 2 years? 3? And now, 5 years? The sobs overtook her, her body shaking as she grabbed Lauren's hands and pulled them to her lips to kiss them as she cried.

"Nadia", Lauren pushes softly. "How long?"

"5 years", she chokes out. "It's been 5 years, Lauren."

The blonde screws her eyes shut, unable to get her gears to turn on this. Slowly, she takes a deep breath and tries to think of the last thing she can remember clearly. She thinks of high school, the feeling of disappointment at her parents missing her graduation for a business trip still thick in her chest. She thinks of college, of the first time in her life she made real friends. She remembers meeting Nadia in the quad at the university, how the beautiful dark haired woman was so helpful after an oblivious Lauren was too busy reading her study guide to look up and step over the photographer taking pictures in the grass as opposed to just tripping over her. She remembers the apartment they shared during Lauren's med school; she remembers how the walls were paper thin and every time they threw a house party or made love too loudly their neighbors would pound the walls with their fists and yell at them. And she remembers going to Africa, how it felt to receive that research grant, how the humid air felt against her skin, the natives' smiles when she would come into their villages with medicine.

But everything after that is a blur – there are pieces here and there. A wolf, she thinks. There's a wolf, and I hate him. But I don't hate him. I just want to. She strains her brain to think of something else, some other piece of the puzzle, and she remembers a brunette. She can almost see her, see her soft skin and expressive brown eyes. Or are they blue? For some reason, she remembers them being both, but knows that isn't scientifically possible. She thinks harder, closes her eyes even tighter, and there's another face that stands out... but it's as if she is looking at it through the crack in a door; it's too far away to make out any details, but if she just focuses a little harder maybe she can –

"Lauren?", Nadia's gentle voice rips her from her focus. "Are you okay?"

Lauren opens her eyes reluctantly. Forcing a smile at the woman, she leans forward and places a gentle kiss to her lips.

"Your lips are chapped", the blonde says absent mindedly as she pulls back. Nadia immediately raises her fingers to brush against the skin, mumbling apologies as she reaches for something – probably chapstick, Lauren thinks – in her bag. Lauren grabs her worried hand and stops her, though, offering up a small and genuine smile when the dark haired woman raises an eyebrow at her.

"Your lips were always chapped", she offers up.

Nadia laughs, the tears finally slowing, as she leans forward to place several more kisses against Lauren's lips. When she finally breaks the contact, she presses her forehead against the blonde's and breathes deeply.

"I missed you, Lauren."

Something about this seems so surreal. Something about this seems like... it isn't possible. Like I had a dream that my life was completely different.

Then again I

was in a coma for 5 years.

"I had a dream that you died, Nadia", she says softly, images of Nadia's lifeless body suddenly bombarding her senses, making her feel nauseous. Nadia immediately pulls back and looks Lauren in the eyes.

"I am right here, sweetie. I've been right here for 5 years. And I would have happily waited forever for you", the dark haired woman softly kisses Lauren again, "I love you so much."

'I love you', Lauren thinks. I feel like I've given my heart away to someone else, Nadia.

But how could that have possibly happened?

I haven't left this bed in half a decade.

"I love you too, Nadia. Please, get me out of this bed."

The blonde recalls their condo in the city, the one they left for Africa – the vaulted ceilings and the patio, the small garden Lauren grew every spring only to kill off over the summer months, Nadia's collection of antique cameras on display in the living room. She thought of the bedroom, the pale purple bed sheets Nadia loved so much but Lauren hated, the vast bookshelf that took up an entire wall. She smiled to herself, feeling like she had somehow convinced herself that she would never see any of these things again. And now she could.

"Take me home."