Surprise! A day early on this update. What's the occasion, you may ask?

Well, it is one year to the day that my co-author and I started writing these fanfics. 365,000 words later (roughly), we are finished with two, and partway into a third with (more than) a few other ideas on the shelf or in the holding pen. (...No pun intended.)

Happy birthday, FDD! Here's a little sister for you. ;D

Warnings: suicidal ideation (first part of second scene only), self harm

Chapter 21

Deep belly laughs and a bell-like chime unlike the rest of the group's very familiar tones dragged my attention from scooping handfuls of water toward Sage. Too curious for my own good, I twisted to try and pinpoint the source of the boisterous voice. I was just able to catch a glimpse of Cale with a wide grin on his face before squealing at a cold spray of droplets drenching my skin.

My dashing husband came to the rescue as I lifted my hands to shield my face from the onslaught, gluing himself to Cye's back somewhat like a Redead. The two swimmers ducked beneath the waves to duke it out submarinally.

Shortly after they submerged, a too-familiar shriek startled me.

It took half a second for my brain to hit the brakes on the panic button and realize it was Alexa's laugh-squeal. Surprise quickly turned to confusion as the Ronin splash fight died down to watch Dais hoist Alexa almost completely onto his horse with one arm around her waist, preventing her from fleeing Sekhmet's water-based attack.

They were all grinning.

I glanced over at the guys to see their expressions. They, too, exchanged looks, as perplexed as me.

The Warlords were having fun?

Once Alexa had managed to push against the gen mashou's stomach and slip back into the water, they seemed to notice we'd all stopped our little skirmish. Any comments that could or might have been made, though, were derailed by Kayura pouncing on my sister as she resurfaced.

Kento directed a sly smirk at Sage. "Think we should go give your future wife a hand, Sage?"

Cye crossed his arms but appeared game nonetheless, and Rowen grinned. Sage half-smiled. "She seems to be handling herself fairly well."

I chuckled softly at that as I watched Alexa successfully detangle from Kayura and return fire...or, water. The two laughed like children, the weight of the world (or two worlds) slipping from their shoulders for just a few moments.

Undignified yelps and—was that almost a squeal from Rowen?—had me instinctively hopping, jumping, and twisting away from Cale's sudden attack. He'd poof'd behind us to take advantage of the element of surprise, and to great effect.

But we wouldn't be put on the defensive for long.

The ensuing Ronin on Warlord water-fight lasted at least another ten minutes, possibly more. Somewhere not long after it started, though, I felt fatigue setting in and dragged my way over to shore for a reprieve.

For a moment, I was fractionally startled to find Alexa there, too, laying on her back. More surprising was Sekhmet's presence, one of his katana drawn and resting along her skin in a gesture that was becoming quite familiar. Too familiar.

Furrowing my brow in concern, I sat on the ground beside my sister. "You okay, sis?"

She nodded. "Tired." She let out a small chuckle. "Just like the last time we went swimming in the middle of something."

I smiled softly, setting a hand on her shoulder. Sekhmet lifted his katana from her arm. "I suppose I should leave something for your betrothed to do."

Alexa chuckled amusedly. "What? Don't want to go soft in front of them?"

The doku mashou just huffed in response, powering down to his casual clothes. I laughed at that; in equivalent human teenager language, that meant he had been verbally cornered and he knew it. Leaning back on my hands, I teased, "Guess the joke's on you, Sekky."

Apparently the nickname was sticking.

In response, he simply muttered, "I maintain the boys have gone softer."

Alexa's eyebrow arched so high it practically disappeared into her hair. I burst out laughing and just about had to hold my splitting side together when Sekhmet sighed and affectionately reached down to ruffle my sister's hair. "You are quite the witch."

Somehow I managed to find my voice. "That she is," I agreed heartily, wiping moisture from my eyes. With an explosive exhale, I managed to get my composure back. "Man, I haven't laughed like that for...a while…"

There was a familiar twinkle in her eye that also hadn't shown up for a long time. "Welcome to the youjakai." She glanced down at my belly, which now showed a definitive if subtle roundness to it. "You can't stay here too long, though. Time goes much slower on Earth than it does here, and doctors could get suspicious if suddenly Touma's far more developed than he should be…"

I blinked; the thought hadn't occurred to me. With everything else that had been going on, it was understandable—but I was really glad she'd brought it up, regardless. I lifted a hand to the back of my head "Heh. Right…" Another thought occurred to me, and I felt my face contort in thought. "But… If no one ages while we're here, because time doesn't pass, then theoretically Touma wouldn't grow, either."

My sister rubbed her nose, as she was wont to do in deep discussions. "Time does pass. It's just much slower. So he is still growing… I would think. At the same time, it doesn't seem to impact humans all that much." She exhaled. "Either way…"

I shook my head in amusement, dropping my hand back to the ground. "Ugh, wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey...stuff. Way over my head." I chuckled softly, the sound staying down in my throat. "I bet Rowen could figure out what the ratio is. I mean, it can't be too small a difference, or else the mashou would be dead by now."

She laced her hands behind her head. "That's the funny part. Time seems to pass based on how pure the youjakai is. If you go out purifying the place, time moves slower than when we're in the city, and they've aged around six months… Kayura maybe a little faster, because she was younger than them." She chuckled. "I think she's impatient to not look so young."

I laughed with her, but felt my brain bending around the time paradox. Rubbing my forehead in mock pain, I muttered, "...Yeah, I'll leave those calculations to the astrophysicist."

She just grinned. The little brat. "Sorry sis but my first present to Touma will probably be a science book."

I sighed in mock-suffering and pouted at her. "I'm doomed…"

Alexa laughed brightly, now, seeming to relish my sad situation. "Between his dad and his aunt? Yup!" Pushing herself up and leaning against her knees, she consoled, "Don't worry, I'll get him some art books, too."

More laughter; my abs were starting to ache with the unfamiliar exercise. "Maybe he'll end up drawing pictures of deep space landmarks right along with all the calculations to get to them."

"And in four languages," she added, voice thick as chocolate fudge with her teasing at myself and Rowen both.

I could only laugh harder. Apparently I was going to get the best workout I'd had in three months, right then. "Geeze, he's gonna be a regular ol' Jack-of-all-trades isn't he?"

She simply nodded, her attention drawn to observing the men all duke it out in the lake. The horses had all removed themselves from the play-quarrel, some rolling in the lush grass while the others grazed through the wide open field. I couldn't say I blamed the equines; things were getting pretty intense, almost to the point I could imagine what their actual fights of the past had been like.

Despite being outnumbered, the Warlords were doing rather well. Their ability to disappear and reappear at will of course helped, but the Ronin had become familiar enough with it to predict and counter that route of attack. My eyes followed Rowen as he and Cye tag-teamed Sekhmet.

"And we haven't even gotten into the sports, yet…" Alexa shook her head with a small smile. "How many is Rowen in, now?"

I laughed lightly and started ticking them off on my fingers. "Archery, baseball, swimming, running, horseback riding, martial arts... On top of being a TA and finishing his masters in astrophysics. AND tutoring Yuli!"

'...Wow. Guess I really did hit the jackpot. Brains, looks, and athleticism.'

My sister shaking her head managed to yank me from the edge of some very interesting daydreams. "You are going to have a handful of a kid. Reminds me a bit of me, to be honest… I've told you I committed Magic School Bus and Bill Nye to memory, right? At something like three I was reciting the components of blood and their purposes."

The mere thought of that suggestion had me groaning and (carefully) flopping onto my back. "And I thought one Rowen was sometimes difficult enough…!"

She smirked. "I think it'll be the hair. If it's blue, good luck. If it's red, well… good luck. Cause from what Dad's said…"

That got a dry laugh; I could almost hear Dad complaining about my ginger ways, with that reminder. "So basically I'm damned to grey early no matter what?"

Chuckling through her nose, she agreed. "Sounds it. Although… we have genetics to look young for a while." My eyes followed her gaze, finding Sage toward the edge of the melee. He seemed to have just realized Alexa wasn't in the mix of combatants. "Wonder what my kids will be like…" She snorted. "If Sage and I are any indication, 'sick all the time' will be accurate."

Hearing the hint of bitter sadness in her voice, I sat up to wrap an arm over her shoulders and squeeze reassuringly. "They'll be just as wonderful and awesome as you two. Besides, with Halo in their blood line, I think they'll do alright."

She didn't have an answer to that. My arm slid from her shoulders as the eight warriors finally came out of the water, dripping wet but in lifted spirits. Sage and Rowen showed slight concern on their faces as they both came to our sides and joined us on the ground. I had a moment to watch Sage loop an arm around my sister before Rowen's nose tickled my ear.

The involuntarily shiver I felt should not have been so enticing.

"How's Touma?" he asked quietly, drawing back slightly and laying a hand gently on my stomach.

I turned my head to smile at his concern, aware of the others finding seats on various parts of the shoreline around us. "Just fine, koibito. Though we might need you to do some figuring and decide what's the longest I can risk staying here before his accelerated development might perplex the doctors."

He tilted his head at me, looking at me like I'd missed the most obvious step of a math problem but also being too damn cute for me to be mad about it. "Dawn and Halo could probably tell us."

Rowen's attention suddenly being drawn past me had my head swivelling to see that Sage had heard "Halo" and quickly redirected his focus to our conversation. I had to giggle at the owl-like expression on his face. "Alexa and I had been talking about how time passes here, and if Touma would be overdeveloped for the time we left Earth if I stayed too long. Rowen was just saying we probably don't have to do any fancy calculations because Dawn and Halo could just keep track of it for us."

He nodded in understanding. "Once I know how far along he is presently, yes."

I smiled at that and waved vaguely in invitation. "You can check now, I guess."

I thought he might find a way to get around Alexa to reach me, since the two men were bookending my sister and I. Mister Conventional, however, did something very unconventional—wrapping his arms around his fiancée, pulling her into his lap, and scooting closer so he could still reach me. I had to stifle laughter at the scene before I ended up making my abdomen even more sore than it already was

Halo's familiar aura emanated from his hand, seeping through my muscles and releasing the aforementioned tension. I relaxed against Rowen as Halo poked at Touma. The little star that had become a familiar presence alongside Dawn perked up, giving the same sense of vitality as a physical kick in the womb. A grin stretched across my face that I couldn't suppress, staring down at Sage's hand in almost awe at the miracle of life.

He smiled softly at me, drawing his hand back a few moments later. "He's doing well. If he develops much farther, I'll let you know."

I returned the smile and snuggled against Rowen, enjoying the mild weather and peaceful air. Ryo, Cye, and Kento were having a spirited discussion closer to the water's edge, the former and latter sounding pretty passionately absorbed while Torrent tried to play referee. As usual. They were so involved they didn't hear the Warlords and Kayura pop in from wherever they'd vanished to.

They returned carrying stacks of three bento boxes each, tied together with strips of cloth. Kayura had a thick blanket tucked under her arm—all the makings of a lakeside picnic.

Before the four of them could quite start walking toward us, though, Kento had abandoned the argument with Ryo and scrambled up to get first dibs.

"Damn, that guy's got a good nose," I commented, impressed.

Dais didn't even break stride as the food-bearing group walked toward us, simply dumping one trio of bento boxes into Kento's chest. Hardrock barely managed to catch and balance the stack, rather than dumping the precious cargo on the ground. I had to laugh at the spectacle.

A few minutes later, Kayura had the picnic blanket stretched out and all the boxes had been passed around. Rowen got another set of three to match Kento's appetite, and Alexa surprisingly was handed two by Cale without question.

Seeing me watch her open the first box, she blushed and ducked her head. "I'm never really anxious here, so I get hungry…" she murmured.

I smiled reassuringly, thinking of how much sense that made for why we didn't suspect anything abnormally wrong early on in the trial days. "That's great. Really. I was just surprised because I'm not used to seeing it…"

She seemed to accept that; Sage gently kissing her neck certainly helped, a small smile crossing her lips before focusing on her food. I grinned and shot Sage a wink before digging in, myself.

It didn't take long for me to notice there were few if any vegetables—and none of my most-hated, whatsoever. I shot Alexa a suspicious glance and pointed my chopsticks accusingly at her. "This is your handiwork."

Her laugh gave off the impression she'd been caught redhanded. "Iiiiii may or may not have told them various stories…"

"Five to ten times," Cale said casually, with an incriminating smirk at my sister.

She glared at him hardcore, although there was amusement in her eyes. "Oh shut up, I'm autistic."

Winter's expression didn't budge as he picked a mouthful of food from his bento box. "As you have said. Twenty to thirty times."

For a moment, she continued to hold the glare, but then exhaled and chuckled. She balanced another bite of sushi between her chopsticks, then muttered almost affectionately, "I don't know why I even bother with you…"

I almost spat my mouthful of rice out when Kayura deadpanned, "Because Dusk gives way to darkness, making you two cut from the same cloth."

Once I found my voice again, I quipped, "So does that mean Alexa bridges the gap between Sage and Cale?"

Cale responded just as nonchalantly as Kayura. "Considering recent events, I would say yes."

"If he is anything like her, then maybe the other mashou should be more careful," Sage advised, the most subtle of smirks curving his lips.

"No, we have more to worry about from the others." Cale cast a meaningful Look at Kayura. She simply sat there with an 'I have no idea what you're talking about' expression of false obliviousness on her face.

"Is it just me, or are the Warlords acting like college kids?" Kento suddenly piped up.

"Have you forgotten they are college kids?"

The intensity of the glares she received from the mashou made me laugh even harder than Alexa's witty retort to Hardrock, although it was lost among the peals and howls of mirth from the other guys. Everyone's merriment rang through the tees and open meadow around us, causing the horses to lift their heads at us curiously before returning to their grazing.

For the first time in too long, things felt truly peaceful again.

—/—

We returned to the palace, Sage and I retreating to my room, the Warlords giving me a subtle prompt to open up. I pushed them aside simply because I hated the reminder, but they understood I was going to. Sage walked with his arm around my shoulders, but the moment we were behind closed doors, he turned me to face him, hand on my cheek, worry creasing his brow.

I glanced towards the bed. "Let's… sit down, first."

He let me go and I crawled up in bed, him settling down beside me and wrapping me in his arms. I settled against his chest, hand turning into a fist in the fabric over his heart and the crest I'd gotten embroidered there.

He kissed my forehead. "I love you."

I swallowed, almost glad he had given me such an easy opening. "Would you still love me if I told you I probably would've…" I shut my eyes tight. "Killed myself had Tessa died?"

His breath hitched, hand sliding into my hair. "I would."

My voice got smaller, me curling into him. "Would you have wished you fell in love with somebody else?"

His lips met my hair. "Never."

"You're being disturbingly understanding about this," I muttered, depression turning to anger.

He took a deep breath, arms tightening around me. "I… would feel the same, if Rowen died. Especially if—" He swallowed, as if trying to make sure I was only talking in hypotheticals. I didn't— couldn't— blame him. "—If I had been in a place to save his life, even at the cost of my own."

"And I nearly died anyway." A sob escaped my throat. "Twice."

He tipped my chin up, shine in his eyes but voice unwavering. "Only because of your mother, and I cannot fault you for what you cannot control."

The concept almost broke me, internally. He must've seen it in my face, because his lips met mine before I could sob. 'You don't have to be in control all the time.'

Tears pushed their way out. 'But losing control made it I nearly jumped!'

"She would've found you anyway," he murmured, forehead still against mine. "You did all you could to fight her."

Dusk practically screamed under the surface, pushing my voice to work. "Your love wasn't enough."

He tucked me against him again, head under his jaw. "Then maybe… we haven't been the best at loving each other, the past few months."

I swallowed, mostly at 'we'. I knew it was his own pain, triggers I had aggravated, moments I hadn't been there for him. He caught my mind before it could spiral down, picking my head up so I could look at his face, and the depth of compassion in his eyes. "We knew we would make mistakes, when we got together. All we can do is try."

I couldn't quite cast my eyes down, but I couldn't keep looking at the blue-violet, either. "Try to be in love, no matter how hard it is to hold onto…"

The bridge of his nose rested against my forehead. For the first time since this all started, I heard the edges of pain in his voice. "Do you still love me?"

"Yes."

He kissed me so quickly I'd barely had time to inhale after speaking, rush of relief and passion dominating. Dusk soaked it up, Halo unwinding now that Sage knew for sure I still wanted him in my life. I gripped his shirt and tried to open up, trembling, practically, at being vulnerable again. I felt the matching trembling in his soul, making me yearn to comfort him the way he yearned to comfort me.

We had put up so many walls, trying to protect ourselves and protect the other, that all we had done was box ourselves into loneliness.

Being away from him had hurt so much.

Clothes came off in tandem to Dusk and Halo exploring each other again, his hands trying to find the places that made me calm in pleasure, my hands trying to hold him— scratching in desperation, practically. His lips, his body, his skin. I wanted all of it and sob-like breaths were the only way I could respond to it. His own breathing was haggard, teeth rough on my neck and his whole body pressing against mine in an attempt to feel my pulse at every point we touched. Halo and its bearer ached for knowledge they weren't evil, that they could be gentle, they could not hurt me— or hurt anyone, but me especially. Dusk, meanwhile, begged to stop hurting.

But there had been so much pain, neither of us knew how.

The only solution seemed to be pain from each other, nails digging into skin and teeth leaving marks that sometimes ended up bloody. Pain we could control. Pain we had established made us closer, reminded us we were loved. Both of us leaned on the side of hyposensitive, needing more stimulation to feel anything. To ease the crawling in our muscles and the sense of wrongness that drove us up the wall, until finally we felt alright. Until we finally believed this touch was real, we were safe, we were loved.

I didn't know how long we stayed lost in each other, but by the time we parted, tears had once again slipped past my lashes. A drop of water landed on my cheek as Sage shifted to kiss my raw lips, drinking me in as much as I absorbed him.

"If we ever get like this again," I murmured, fingers brushing away his tears. "We should probably go to our siblings, first."

He let out a breathy laugh before settling against my shoulder again, forehead pressed against my neck and leaving damp lines where his tears spilled over. "So long as we haven't hurt them, too…"

I played with his hair, thinking back to this morning. "I think it's safe to say Rowen forgives you."

He squeezed me. "And Tessa forgives you."

I swallowed. "And I forgive you."

It took him a moment to register, his hand pausing along my side. "And I forgive you."

Now it was my turn to pick his head up to look at me. "Do you mean that?"

He turned so we were on our sides, arms wrapping around me. "I watched you willingly give up your freedom to save us, and through every other emotion all I wanted was you to return. I can most certainly forgive for something you could not control."

I blinked and stared at him, dread knotting in my stomach. "I never asked if you forgave me for that because I didn't want to know the answer…"

He sighed and kissed my forehead. "I still love you, even if I am— to this day— angry at you for that."

It was difficult not to cower under the possibility of his anger; the only thing that prevented me being how he could hold both emotions at once.

He stroked my hair. "That act was everything I love about you, even if it hurt me. If anything—" his hand paused midway down my back upon realizing he'd skated on skin uninterrupted. He didn't reach fabric until my hip, both of us in exactly the same amount of clothing. "Tōgei…"

His tone spoke of confusion, him unsure if he should apologize for taking off more than he normally did in the heat of the moment. I smiled and rested my forehead against his. "I'm alright with it…"

"Are you sure?" At my nod, he swallowed. "May I…?"

The word 'look' hung in the air, and now it was my turn to be unsure. "The scar…"

"I don't care about it," he said softly, cradling me. He had shifted oh so slightly, making it easier to roll on my back if I so chose.

After a few more moments of hesitation, I did just that. His hand skated over my side, following the outline of my body from breast to the slight dip under my ribs that had improved so drastically over the years, finally down to my hips curving out from a waist I had trouble convincing myself was still narrow, some days. He didn't have bones to skip over any more, but another imperfection had replaced it.

"I wish you'd seen me like this, before…" I trailed off to let out a breath as his hands slid back up, this time over my front. "The…"

He brought his thumb to my lips, waiting until I was looking at him before moving it away. His smile could only be genuine, gleam in his eyes too deep to be a simple mask. "Scars will not change how I see you. Especially not one received when you saved someone else." He looked down at my body again, tracing out the weight I'd gained with his eyes. "And especially not after seeing your body change as you fought a battle just as valiantly as you protected your sister. You have already been marked by a different war you continue to win."

A lump formed in my throat, every stretch mark I had gained passing behind closed eyelids. "I hate them all."

His lips found the ones on my chest, hands sliding down to stroke others on the outsides of my hips and thighs. A moment later, he held my waist and kissed the exact middle of my scar. My fingers tangled in his hair, but I didn't know if it was to rip him away or press him closer.

Regardless, I was crying by the time he pulled back. Sage simply wrapped his arms around me again and returned us to our sides, tucking me against his shoulder. I clawed at his chest, hand almost subconsciously following the self harming motion that doubled as a stim. "It's a permanent reminder I hurt you. And her. And everyone."

He kissed my jaw. "It's also a permanent reminder you saved two lives."

I scrunched my eyes shut, every sensation of that moment returning in a flood. Halo caught me before everything went dark, feelings too clear to not be words. 'Please don't leave me.'

Looking at him was potentially a mistake. The concern in his features, the pain of not having protected me well enough, the relief when I had woken up and that I was still alive. I could barely form my lips around the words. "I don't know if I can."

We looked at each other for awhile, his forehead against mine, one of my hands on his neck. I took a shuddering breath, gathering every ounce of my courage around the words, "Would you hate me if I ever covered it up?"

Mixtapes about dependence didn't have a chance to start before his reply. "No. Never."

A shuddering breath turned into a sob. Thoughts wondering if he would hate me for not appreciating the healing, the extraordinarily neat scar that had been made with so much care despite the emergency, finally quieted. Despite him having controlled my body for far too long to keep me alive, the final choice was still mine.

He stroked my hair, nails running against my scalp. "Take care of your pain the way you need to. Whatever form that takes." His other hand found the scar on my back, massaging it. "I'll be right beside you."

I pressed into his body and cried, finally facing how proud I had been my skin was free of scars and other marks. I used to only have two chicken pox scars on my stomach, none from a knife, none from something that said you got hurt. I had never self harmed with blades and while I never faulted those who developed the addiction, part of me had been glad I'd never been one of them. I couldn't quite break the fact this scar was from a knife away from those thoughts, my own biases coming to the surface.

Scarred. Broken. Worthless.

'Tōgei, kintsugi.'

A knot deep in my chest shattered, Dusk uncoiling and hesitantly settling into my spirit again, sobs turning primal as I clung to my fiancé.

He cradled me, having gone from bites so hard they left bruises to kissing me so softly all I could do was shiver. 'I love how you have healed. Every act of selflessness simply makes me love you more.'

More damn tears. I hated catharsis sometimes, no matter how relieved I was at his words.

"Sometimes I think you're a warrior stronger than all of us," he murmured. "You've not only saved us, but you've done it all battling your own mind."

"You've saved me just as much," I replied. "Maybe more, now."

His smile was in his voice. "I haven't told you all the ways you've saved me."

I paused against him, not even breathing. I couldn't tell if it was out of fear, or out of awe.

"For all Rowen and I saved each other," he began. "You… have given me a new dimension to life I could not have even imagined. Rowen was— and still is— my light in the darkness, the arrow that guides me back to the others. Ever since he sent a beacon to us, when we were captured… Halo has trusted Strata beyond all measure. But you and Dusk made it… that the darkness does not have power over me, most days. I have nothing to fear with you both, but for different reasons. With Rowen, I can always find my way home. With you, I am home, almost no matter how far away I am from it. And I need you both. I will always need you both."

I nodded, snuggling up closer. "That's… how I feel about you and Tessa."

He kissed my forehead. "I don't know how I found you."

I could not resist the opening he gave me. "Well, technically, it was four years ago when I got kidnapped and I brushed your consciousness during meditation because I was reaching out to Tessa subconsciously…"

He laughed, sound unburdened for once. His lips met mine in a firm kiss. "Then you nearly launched yourself on me until she told you it was safe."

"Mmhmm." I tipped my forehead against his. "I'm glad I trusted you."

He tried to swallow down a smirk. "You know I have no answer to that except saying I'm glad you were kidnapped."

I tipped my head down, looking up at him through my lashes. "If it was the only way I could've met you— all of you… I'd do it all again in a heartbeat."

That made him pause, hand sliding to my jaw. "You'd do it all again for me?"

I nodded.

He kissed me slowly and deeply, pulling my body against him and about to roll me onto my back again before a telepathic poke from Tessa and Rowen— her for me, Rowen for Sage— had us parting.

'The Warlords want to tell us some stuff,' they said. 'Once you're feeling better.'

The teasing-yet-relieved undertone of 'you already seem to be' was the only addition they needed for us to shove them away with the empathetic equivalent of 'we're coming.'

Sage looked down at me and chuckled. "Before we leave, I think you need Halo…"

I groaned. "How bad…?"

He picked his head up. "Is there a mirror…?"

The motion drew my eyes to his neck and chest. "You might want it, yourself… and that's not counting your back."

He paused and shifted his shoulder before dropping his head down. "I think your hands have gotten stronger…"

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Wouldn't put it past myself. And there's a mirror over here…"

My throat and collarbone— even the tops of my breasts— were thoroughly dotted in various shades of purple and red, Sage having only gotten off slightly lighter and me having made up for it with scrapes and nail impressions across his back.

Sage lifted me up and kissed the side of my neck, Halo spreading along the bruises. I laughed at his playful nip of my jaw once he was done. "Healing them almost makes me want to give you more."

I smiled and leaned back so I could look at his face. "I find it funny everyone else assumed we were making out when alone, and eventually we proved them right."

He laughed. "So long as you're comfortable."

I nodded, forehead tipping against his. He snuck a kiss before putting me down, Halo's powers under my hands sliding down his chest. I raised an eyebrow. "Going to leave your back?"

He grabbed a spare jinbei that had mysteriously appeared in the room, twinkle in his eye as my answer.

I got dressed, him unable to resist helping. I barely had to move two steps as he got all my clothing out of the drawers, him holding my robe out for me once I got my bra and pants on. I was about to take it when he held it up for me to get my arms in the sleeves. I should have known, by now, that's why he stayed so close. I shrugged the jinbei on and tied it, noticing the Warlords had made sure we were in complimentary outfits. At least they remembered our favourite colours.

Grabbing Dusk to put in my pocket made me pause. The colour was back to deep, solid amethyst, not a trace of the grey I'd grown so accustomed to since it had faded all of two weeks ago. Sage's hand snaked under mine to cradle it, his lips meeting my temple. "Welcome back."

I smiled at its brightening in response to Halo, something it hadn't done in a week. "I was still… hiding too much. For it to come back."

Sage pulled out Halo, light once again swirling under its surface and turning the orb into emerald green water. It hadn't done that since he'd returned. It still felt weak, the colour barely grey-tinged, but it was far stronger than it had been. "It appears I was, too…"

I closed my fist around my armour, turning in his arms to kiss him properly. "It's like I missed you so much, I didn't even realize you were back."

He held me close. "In a sense, we weren't." He kissed my neck. "We weren't vulnerable."

I could only acknowledge the point, too relieved at feeling Dusk's power again after so long boxed in. It was exactly what she had wanted, in a sense— isolate and confine so I would forget what love even felt like. The warmth blooming in my chest made it I remembered.

'I'm still sorry I forgot how to be open…'

He stroked my hair. 'No need to apologize. We all do, sometimes.' His lips rested against my forehead. 'I did, too.'

After the emotions passed— I didn't know which ones they were, I didn't feel like naming them— we finally parted and made it to the dining area. More food was spread out, Kento and Rowen helping themselves. I parked myself down and did the same, momentarily able to ignore why we were here. Something about the air in this place made me hungry, but I always forgot to ask the Warlords if they did anything to it to generate that reaction.

Thankfully, Dais waited until I was half through my plate before speaking. "We are having an extraordinarily difficult time tracking the girls' mother in the youjakai."

Everyone glanced amongst themselves, dread and nerves thick in the armours. I couldn't say I was surprised, but surprise and dread were two completely different emotions and the latter formed a knot in my stomach. At least I didn't want to throw up.

Kayura continued. "We have a general sense of her, but she is extraordinarily adept. Her powers differ from Talpa's, rendering us less effective."

I snorted. "If you gave me all of ten minutes…"

My reply was an immediate and very firm "No." Cale leveled an ice cold look at me, not for intimidation purposes but out of protectiveness. It was slightly less triggering than if it was anger, and Winter made it clear this was not. Still, I felt myself sliding into my equally cold mask.

Dais continued, slightly softer. "Right now, your movements are just as veiled as hers. You sensing her would open us for attack."

That sounded like a brilliant plan. "And we had to lay a trap last time otherwise she'd get the upper hand first…"

Cye shook his head, just as protective as the Warlords. "And the last time, you had spent the past month recovering your strength. As of now, you're still adjusting to a blood transfusion and a near drowning. As good as you feel now, you are still fragile."

I leaned my elbow on the table, feeling my own terrier like tendencies coming to the forefront. I wanted this done, and I wanted this done now. "Do you want a list of things I've done when I feel worse?"

Cye's words maintained the same level of stubbornness, still gentle, but his position hadn't changed. "None of us doubt you. We would simply rather you not tax yourself farther than you have to, especially with what you've recently been through."

"We can all work together on a plan," my sister said softly, placing a hand on my arm. Her encouraging smile had the same effect as Cale's reassurance, but this one disarmed me instead of making it I was ready to cut everyone down. When I didn't say anything, she continued, "Mom probably already knows we're here, anyway, if she has as much influence as I'm getting the impression you're implying."

Dais smirked, corner of his eye crinkling with the motion. "Knowing you are here and being able to find you are two very different things, as I'm sure Rekka and Tenku could tell you."

She attempted to clarify. "...I meant here-here. Like, the palace. Where else would we go, after all?"

Rowen wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "We knew the guys were being held here— we could sense them, and sorta hear them— but it felt like it took days to get to them."

"It did," Sekhmet said with a sip of his tea. "As easy as we navigate this palace if it likes you, it can become a maze if the desire to hide is strong enough. And the last thing Talpa wanted was for you to find your friends."

Ryo crossed his arms and snorted. "Never thought we'd be grateful for that."

Hardrock reached out to Ryo first, the others not far behind. Poking old, raw wounds never did well for Ryo in particular. While Rowen, Sage and I tended to shut down, Ryo was far more likely to blow up if he didn't get reassurance soon.

"Well, what if we tried to lure her to us by going out and dropping the mask on our signatures?" Tessa suggested. "If, uh, there is such a thing…"

Before Kento could open his mouth to volunteer, Dais filled the silence. "It's possible, but as Suiko has already said, now is not a good time for Kure's health."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, rubbing it once pressure was applied. I could sometimes sway three against one. I could sometimes go around six against one. There was no way in hell I was doing anything with ten against one. "And when will we be able to do anything."

"To be safe," Cye said, "at least a month. Then you'll no longer be at risk for a blood rejection, which, if I'm honest, you're already showing signs of. If we're not careful, your weakness could turn into something much worse. All we can do is manage symptoms until your body clears out the donor blood on its own. We couldn't test as thoroughly as we should have, given the circumstances— you could've reacted to either blood type."

I knew the addition was to absolve Rowen and Ryo of any guilt, Cye taking the responsibility on himself. I sighed. "So basically no pushing myself and lots of antivenom?"

Halo sent out the smallest poke to Torrent, resulting in Cye shaking his head. "And you're too tired to do the level of healing required to effectively change blood type. I'm sorry, Sage, but there's nothing any of us can do but wait it out."

My sister looked at the Warlords. "Is there anything we can do in the meantime?"

Kayura shook her head. "Hardly. Past wishing to stay hidden, it is safer if you do nothing."

Sekhmet put his teacup down, puzzling over the earlier discussion and her unintentional double meaning. He seemed to be sensitive to the sheer amount of guilt from the others— Rowen and Ryo for donating something I was now rejecting, Cye for not thoroughly testing in an emergency, Sage for being unable to stop me from needing a transfusion in the first place, and Kento solely because the others were so wrapped up in themselves. "With a sample of the issue, I could formulate an antivenom that would effectively destroy the rejected blood and take its place, until Kure could generate the missing blood herself."

I swallowed. Hard. I had a bad feeling I knew where this was going. "Another IV…?"

Cye and Sekhmet looked between each other, what appeared to be a dialogue between them. I could practically see Cye's trepidation around Autumn ease in the few moments they communed. Sekhmet trusted Cye to speak, voice softer than any of the Warlords on a good day, let alone such a touchy topic. "I'm afraid that's the most effective way of solving the problem."

Dais and Sage spoke in unison, trying to stem off my panic. "You won't feel it."

Tessa put an arm around my shoulders. "And I'll be right there, too."

Sage kissed my hairline. "As will I."

My hand fisted on the fabric over my leg, quickly moving to the fabric over hers. Tears threatened to push their way out, too many memories of rubber bands around my forearm sending so much pain into worn down nerves I would sometimes throw up, needles too large I couldn't move my arm or wrist or hand without feeling them, bruises. Liquid drawn out of my veins and pushed in and so much pain.

Being free of this weakness. Of these chills and fever and stomach cramps.

I really only had one choice.

"Okay."