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Next chapter we head to Wisconsin in search of Sarah…

CHAPTER 21 - Carlton Burk

Carlton lit a third votive, setting it down on the candle rack with hundreds of others, his eyes taking in the pictures tacked to the wall before him. Pictures of those who had fled here, hoping for sanctuary as the virus spread faster and deadlier than anyone could have imagined. Pictures of those who had died here, a safe zone turned hospital turned memorial.

"This was where you went to church as a kid?" Wolf asked as he lit his own candle. On the other side of the sanctuary, Teylor, Rick and Alisha were doing the same. Danny and Tex had disappeared, and Carlton suspected that they were in the choir loft, keeping an eye on Cameron.

"Yup. We went every Sunday, rain or shine or snow. Mama made us wear a suit every time. And no clip-on ties either. Pops always said that you weren't a man until you knew how to tie your own tie."

Carlton smiled sadly. Marion had been a devoted mother but, after Carlton and Cameron left home, she had spent more and more time involved in church activities – assisting with the flowers, serving on the church council, and teaching Sunday School. In recent years the church had become the center of her life.

It was fitting, then, that this is where she had died, where both of his parents had died.

"Ravit would have approved. Of making you go to church every week. She attended synagogue regularly when she was home. She liked the sense of community."

Carlton looked down at the votive he had lit in Ravit's memory, wondering whether Wolf was right. Probably. The Aussie had known Ravit far better than Carlton had, having spent months alone with her in the Virginia woods. Religion was one of a million topics that Carlton and Ravit had never had a chance to discuss. One of a million conversations that he had put off, somehow believing, despite the odds, that they had all the time in the world.

Six months ago

"What will you do after?"

Ravit's question came out of nowhere, startling Carlton. They had been lying on the deck for the better part of thirty minutes, and this was the first time that Ravit had spoken. Carlton rolled to the side, resting his head on his folded arm as he looked in the direction where he assumed her face was, unable to pick out anything in the inky darkness.

"After what?"

"After we sink the sub. After we get to New Orleans. After we finish spreading the cure. Take your pick."

"I don't know," Carlton answered honestly. "Are you going back to Israel?"

"No. My family is gone. There's nothing left for me in Israel." There was no hesitation in Ravit's voice, only sad resignation.

"You could always come with me. Back to Chicago. My momma makes the best damn strawberry rhubarb pie that you have ever eaten."

Carlton could already imagine the look on his mother's face if he arrived in Chicago with Ravit in tow. A combination of shock and confusion and joy that her baby boy might finally be settling down. He gave it five minutes before she mentioned the possibilities of grandbabies. Carlton knew that Ravit would win over Marion the same way she had won over everyone on the Nathan James (even Kara) – with her passion, her humor, her sincerity, and her big heart. His Israeli jumping bean, as Carlton had come to think of her.

"I'm not exactly the type of girl you bring home for dinner, Carlton," Ravit responded archly, but underneath the teasing tone, Carlton caught the note of sadness in her voice.

"Hey, don't sell my mama short. She'll have you wiped into shape in no time."

"You think I need to get into shape, do you?"

Carlton heard Ravit move half a second before she was on top of him, her legs straddling his hips, her arms on either side of his shoulders. Ravit lowered her face until their breath mingled, their noses mere centimeters apart in the darkness, and it had taken every fiber of Carlton's being not to close the short distance, to merge their lips, to roll her over and pin her to the deck as he kissed her properly. Carlton forced himself to grasp Ravit's forearms and move her to the side as he sat up.

"Is that really what you want to do?"

Carlton took a deep breath. "Two more days, baby girl, two more days."

Present

Carlton used his thumb to flick away a piece of wax dripping down the side of the votive. He and Ravit may not have discussed religion but Carlton knew, at core, that they believed in the same things. Honor. Respect. Loyalty. Truthfulness.

All the values that his brother had betrayed.

"I asked her to come to Chicago with me," Carlton admitted.

"I know," Wolf replied. "She told me she was considering it. Something about your mother's famous pie. I told her she should go."

The corners of Carlton's mouth curled at the thought of Ravit sitting in a kitchen with his mother. She probably would have eaten the entire pie.

"Do you guys go everywhere together?" Cameron's question shattered the pleasant image Carlton was constructing in his mind.

"We generally try to piss solo," Tex retorted. "Miller over there is still working on his aim."

"Tex is an acquired taste," Danny added when Cameron's eyes bugged out slightly.

"So, who is in charge of this crew, Carlton? You or Lieutenant Green?" Cameron asked, his eyes passing back and forth between Danny and Carlton. Despite his determination not to let his brother bother him, Carlton stiffened. Since their falling out, Cameron had taken to throwing his weight around in less than subtle ways, and this was undoubtedly a pointed reminder for Carlton that Cameron, as a lieutenant commander, outranked them all. But if Cameron thought that he was going to take charge of this mission, he had another thing coming.

"I am," Danny responded bluntly. "You have a problem with that, you can lodge a complaint with Admiral Chandler. We have a couple more stops before we head back to Norfolk but you're more than welcome to join us."

Carlton bit back a smile. He sometimes forgot that while he had been dealing with Cameron's petty tactics for the past six years, Danny had been dealing with his sister's far less subtle insults for the past twenty-eight.

"Are you inviting me to join the team?" Cameron's voice was neutral, something that would never have happened if he and Carlton have been having this discussion.

"Nope. While I'm sure that you are a fine officer, I don't know you from Adam, and that means I don't trust you yet. You want a place on the team, you have to earn it."

"Don't worry," Tex said with a grin. "Danny Boy's been a teddy bear since he became a daddy. Only thing he really cares about is getting his ass home in one piece. Oh, and try not to snore. Lack of sleep makes him grumpy."

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Two hours later, Carlton was in his bedroom packing up a few things when there was a familiar knock at the door. "Come."

"Hey Carl." Cameron stepped over the threshold, closing the door behind him. Carlton watched as his brother moved around the room, fingers skimming over the knickknacks and bookcases, all covered with a thin layer of dust.

Marion would have been horrified by the state of the house.

"I'm sorry, about Kara," Cameron said finally, not looking at his brother.

"Sorry?" Carlton frowned. "She's okay now. Even earned a silver star volunteering for the vaccine trial."

"Sorry that she married that asshole running the TAC team," Cameron clarified.

Amused that Danny had gotten under Cameron's skin so easily, it took Carlton another minute to understand what Cameron was driving towards.

"Jesus," Carlton sighed. "I'm sure this is all Mama's fault but Kara and I were never more than friends, Cameron. I'm happy that she and Danny are together. He's a good man – and a good friend."

But Cameron wasn't ready to conceed the point. "I heard you. Talking to Australian guy – Taylor. You said you asked her to come to Chicago with you."

Carlton closed his eyes. He hadn't planned to discuss Ravit with Cameron. "We weren't talking about Kara. I ... lost someone. Someone I met after the virus hit. She died."

"The Red Flu?"

"No. Lost her in an explosion on an oil rig." Carlton's voice was flat.

"I'm sorry." Cameron cleared his throat. "What was she like?"

Carlton hesitated. This was the closest he had come to a personal conversation with his brother in years, and Carlton was mistrustful of Cameron's sudden interest in his life. But something Danny said the other night had stuck with Carlton. Living through this virus – this pandemic – had changed the dynamic between Danny and his sister. Maybe this was the opportunity he and Cameron needed to resolve things as well.

"She was a force of nature. Always two steps ahead, keeping me guessing about what she would do next. She was tough. But she could also be sweet as honey."

Cameron finally looked at Carlton. "I don't think I have ever heard you talk that way about a woman."

"She was special."

Ravit had brought a light into Carlton's life, filling a hole in his soul that he hadn't realized was empty, and then, just as quickly as she arrived, she was gone.

"You were right." Cameron blurted out the words as though they had been on the tip of his tongue.

"About what?"

"Jimmy."

"What?"

Cameron shook his head. "I thought I knew what I was doing, but I didn't. Tina, man, she was playing me and Jimmy and a dozen other guys all at once. While you were up in the Arctic in EMCON, I got slapped with papers demanding that I submit to a paternity test. Tina's last baby, well, it wasn't Jimmy's. She claimed that I was the dad."

Carlton felt sick, remembering the cold shoulder Cameron had received from Coach Boucard. "Were you?"

"Not a chance," Cameron said resolutely. "I hadn't seen Tina in years. It was just a way for her to hurt Jimmy. Let him know that she had been with his best friend."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah. The DNA cleared me on the kid but I couldn't lie to Jimmy when he asked. Turns out that he knew about the other guys," Cameron grimaced, "but he never imagined that I was one of them."

Carlton couldn't think of a single non-judgmental thing to say, so he kept his mouth shut.

"And, of course, the whole thing came out when Tina and Jimmy split. Mama was heartbroken. Said she and Pops would never be able to show their face at church again."

Carlton could imagine his parents' humiliation at learning that their firstborn, their pride and joy, was involved in a paternity dispute with the assistant pastor and his wife. Other than losing one of her sons, it was probably Marion's worst nightmare.

"That was one of the last times I talked to her," Cameron added quietly. "Right before things got really bad here."

"Mama loved you Cameron. You know nothing would have ever changed that."

Cameron wiped the dust off a shelf with his palm. "The look on her face, after they found out. It was the way she looked the time she caught us smoking in the backyard. Not angry. Just disappointed. After that day she refused to talk about it, even when I tried to apologize."

Carlton winced. Marion had been an enthusiastic, animated person and Carlton could count on one hand the number of topics that she refused to discuss. Apparently Marion had been really disappointed in Cameron.

"What happened to them – Jimmy and Tina and the kids?"

"Jimmy and the kids were at the church when everything went south," Cameron's voice cracked. "They didn't make it. No idea where Tina went. She told Jimmy she was moving in with the baby's daddy, but nobody seems to know who that was."

"I'm sorry, Cam." It was only once the words had slipped out that Carlton realized he had reverted to the nickname that he hadn't used in years. From the curve of his mouth, Cameron had noticed the same thing.

"I wish that things had been different. For both of us."

Carlton held his brother's gaze. "Me too."