Diamond

Pokemon-

Chimchar (Punchy)

Buneary (Hoppy)

Hippowdon (Sandy)

Murkrow (Poopy)

Diamond's bad at nicknames…

Pearl

Pokemon-

Piplup (Humpy)

Ponyta (Brokeback)

Staravia

Dawn

Pokemon-

Turtwig

Shellos

Drifloon

Jack and Jesus/ Chatot watched Cyrus from the top of a building across the street from the Team Galactic bases. Cyrus was walking down the street. He seemed to be searching for someone or something. He stopped at a street corner to release his Honchkrow.

"What's he doing Jesus?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Hey! Aren't you supposed to be God? You know everything! Now tell me what he's doing!" Jack hissed.

"Um, well… Obviously, he's um… he's getting Kung Pow Chicken." Jesus had no idea what Cyrus was up to. But the lie seemed to satisfy Jack.

"Kung Pow Chicken… Of course! I'm sorry I doubted you Lord!"

"Your sins are forgiven child."

"Oh! Look! Honchkrow's coming back!" Jack said pointing below. Honchkrow had found Dawn and led her back to Cyrus. It then roosted on Cyrus's shoulder.

"Hello Mr. Cyrus. I'm sorry that Diamond interrupted you. He was being such a dickhead… Do you still need my help?" Dawn asked. Cyrus scowled at her as he looked at her eyes.

"… Have you been crying?"

"Well… um… Yes but I'm fine now…" She said rubbing her eyes a little. Cyrus sighed.

"This is exactly why Team Galactic exists…"

"What do you mean?"

"I am trying to create a universe where there is no strife. To achieve this, all of my followers have to be cold and show no emotion. Just like me…"

"New universe? That's madness! It can't be done!" Dawn said defensively. Cyrus was starting to scare her. He never mentioned anything like this to her before. Cyrus chuckled at her.

"You know so many facts and figures Dawn yet you understand so little. I'll just have to educate you along with everyone else. Honchkrow use hypnosis." Dawn accidentally looked into Honchkrow's eyes and collapsed on the ground. Commander Saturn came out of the TV station to meet with Cyrus. He yawned and then started speaking.

"The satellite will come down in about three hours, sir. Should we pull out of here?"

"Saturn. There was a reason why we took over those buildings. I plan to use them before the satellite comes down. Now come with me. We have work to do." Saturn yawned again and without another word, they filed back into the TV station with Dawn slung over Saturn's shoulder.

"Hey! I thought you said that he was getting Kung Pow Chicken!"

"Um… that girl is a Kung Pow Chicken monster?" Jesus lied again. Jack seemed to have been fooled again.

"Of course!"

"Right…"

"If they're bringing down a satellite then we should get out of here," Jack suggested.

"No. All these innocent people will die unless we save them!"

"So?"

"Are you a Christian or not? You're not going to heaven with that attitude!"

"Sorry Jesus…"

"Good. Now, I don't think we can do this on our own. I think we should ask Diamond and Pearl for help."

"WHAT?! Those guys are total dickheads!"

"Jack," Jesus said warningly.

"Sorry Lord…"

"Your sins are forgiven."

"But what do we need them for? You're Jesus! You can do anything!"

"Um… uh… Um, I need those guys to help with my plans."

"But-."

"Are you doubting the Lord thy God?"

"No Lord…"

"Good boy. I see them in that bar down there."

Meanwhile…

Riley had given the unconscious Marley in exchange for letting us have all the free beer we want. Not sure what the bartender did with her after that… Not having anything better to do, Pearl and I got as drunk as Riley. Let me just say that it's very interesting being drunk. The room spinning, saying things I didn't mean, doing things I wouldn't do anytime otherwise, vomiting every few minutes… very interesting. I seemed a lot happier while I was drunk and so was Pearl, who stammered a lot while he was drunk.

"H-Hey Di-Di-Di- You… Let's go do kar- hiccup- karaoke," Pearl rambled. I wasn't even paying attention to him. I had lifted up my shirt and was looking at my nipples. I was giggling uncontrollably.

"I have tiny nipples, hehehehehhe! My nipples are sexy. Sexy nipple man! Yay!" I said to no one in particular.

"Why are midget hookers in my wet dream?" Riley asked pointing to us.

"Haha. You're drunk dude," I said back at him.

"I-I'm not drunk. I'm sexy! I wear a blue hat!"

"Karaoke!" Pearl shouted in my ear. He dragged me away to the front of the bar where the karaoke machine was. "Put on that song ab-about that hot blond doll… what was it called… oh yeah. The Kerry doll song…"

"Barbie song numb nuts," I dazedly corrected him.

"Right, right. Put on the Barbie song numb nuts song!" Pearl told the bartender. The music started playing and we began to sing together… but not the right words… and for some reason we thought we were gay guys named Garrett and Raul… Jack and Jesus/Chatot had come in at that time.

Diamond: Barbie's such a bitch,
she is just a witch

Pearl: I really hate her,
why does Ken date her?

Diamond: Ken is such a man,
I do all I can-

Pearl: Just to do him
we just want to screw him!

(She's such a bitch I'm gonna scratch her eyes out)

Diamond: I have dreams about Ken
Being inside my den
and we hold, and we kiss
like we're sweet hearts

Pearl: But that Barbie's a slut,
with her cute little butt
and I guess Ken Likes boobs made
of fake parts

Diamond: And I cry,
every day,
Cause' straight up that bitch is in my way!
Oooh Oooh Oooh!

"Um… are you gays- I mean guys alright?" Jack asked us.

"H-H-Hey! It's those g-guys! It's Jane and Satan!"

"Yeah… they suck… hehehe… I'm sexy…" I rambled.

"No- hiccup! I'm sexy!"

"No! You're sexy!"

"No! You're sexy!"

"No! You- no wait. You're right, I'm sexy… hehehehe!" Then Pearl and I suddenly collapsed on the floor, mostly from alcohol poisoning…

"Are you still sure about this plan?" Jack asked Jesus while tapping Pearl on the head with his foot.

"Hell no…"