Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor who

Chapter 21: I Hope She Was Worth It

"Hi honey, I'm home."
"And what sort of time do you call this?"

-The Doctor & River Song

"Rose?" Amy walked up to the blond girl, who stared at the wall unmoving. She could feel her own tears coming to the surface as old memories swelled. Rose didn't move.

Amy turned to see Mickey standing back awkwardly. She motioned for him to go to the TARDIS and he nodded quickly, seeing that they needed a moment. At least the kid had a measurable sense of tact.

"He left." Rose whispered as the door to the TARDIS closed, "Mickey, he always said that he'd leave me one day, but I never thought..." Tears started to flow down her cheeks. "I though, he said he wouldn't Amy."

Amy rested a hand on her shoulder, and Rose turned and buried her face into Amy's neck.

"He said he wasn't going to leave me." Rose sobbed, "He promised."

"He...he must have a way back." Amy soothed her, before whispering, "He has to..."

"He doesn't." Rose hiccupped, "He said there wasn't any way back. It closed...he left me."

Amy peeled Rose away from her shirt and leaned over to look Rose in the eyes, "He'll come back. He's not trapped there. Because if he was, he would never have met me."

"But he's immortal..." Rose whimpered, "He'll just...live through it..."

Amy tried to ignore the sinking feeling that gave her. Rose was right. He could just live the 300 years or so, or just wait until he ran into a younger version of himself. Hitch a ride.

"If's that true..." Amy whispered, "Then he'll come back for us."

"Or he'll just stay." Rose said, whipping the stray tears away as she attempted to compose herself, "I mean...there he's got her. What's he got here?"

"He's got you." Amy reminded her.

Rose shook her head, her jaw set, "Apparently not."

Amy walked into the TARDIS, where Mickey was pacing back and forth, panicking. She felt her own anger and sadness bubbling up inside her in the form of tear's. He just couldn't have done this. He can't have left her.

"He's gone!" Mickey said when he saw her, "He's gone and now we're stuck!"

"He's not gone!" Amy snapped at him, before pinching between her eyebrows, "Sorry, I'm sorry. It's just...he can't be gone. He'll come back."

"Well he'd better," Mickey grumbled, crossing his arms.

But Amy ignored him, wringing her arms uncomfortable as her entire childhood came rushing back. The ridicule and the psychiatrists. The medication and the fights and the detentions and the isolation. 'That's Amy, she's crazy. Don't talk to her.'

"Come back." She whispered, wiping her eyes slightly, "You always come back, just please..."

She took in a shuttering breathe and walked over to Mickey, who was looking at her, worried.

"I'm sorry." Mickey said softly, "Are you alright?"

"Fine." Amy cleared her throat, "I'm...look. If he doesn't come back, we'll activate security protocol one. It'll send you two home."

"How long should we wait?"Amy turned to see rose standing in the doorway to the TARDIS. Her makeup streaming down her face. Still completely heartbroken.

Amy took a shuddering breath, turning to look to her. "I'll wait the rest of my life." Amy whispered quietly, tears in her eyes. Rose looked at her, noticing the tears before sitting beside her and gripping her hands in her own.

"Yeah..."

And together...they waited.

"He's back."

That single breathless word made Amy and Rose jumped to their feet, running out of the TARDIS. Quickly they ran down the halls where Mickey pointed them, and back into the room with the original Fireplace.

Rose froze in the doorway as she saw the Doctor couched in front of the Fireplace, Reinette very visible on the other side.

"Madame De Pompadour!" He called through the fire. "Still wanna see those stars?"

Amy could only watch as the bright beaming on Rose's face slowly faded into horror and heartbreak.

"Rose..." Amy whispered, not knowing what to say.

Instead of replying, Rose just ran down the hall, back towards the TARDIS, quickly trying to dry her own tears before anyone would see.

Amy didn't say a single word to the Doctor as they walked back to the TARDIS. She glared at him the entire way, her arms crossed tersely. The nausea was back, but she stuffed it down in lieu of making the Doctor as uncomfortable as possible.

But as soon as they opened the TARDIS door Rose grabbed him and hugged him tightly, like she might never be able to again. Amy couldn't help but worry at what decisions she had made before they'd gotten here.

"How long did you wait?" The Doctor asked her, hugging her tightly.

"Five and a half hours." Rose giggled, but it didn't meet her eyes.

The Doctor released her, "Right, always wait five and a half hours."

He turned and hugged Amy who padded his back stiffly. He pulled away, looking at her strangely, before turning to Mikey. He looked like he would hug him too, but then just shook his hand.

"Where've you been?" Rose asked.

"Explain later." The Doctor looked in a rush, "Into the TARDIS, be with you in a sec."

They all waited in the TARDIS tensely. The same thought was going through all of their heads. What if he got stuck again? What if he couldn't come back this time?

Amy's nausea suddenly spiked and she stumbled over to a seat, pushing Mickey off roughly as she sat down. Her head felt very fuzzy and her stomach felt like it would drop out from under her.

"You okay?" Mickey asked, grumbling to himself as he got up off the floor.

Amy shook her head, "No, M'gonna lay down."

She went horizontal and that seemed to help a bit. It reminded her of the time the Angel was in her mind. Why could these things leave her alone?

She lay there, quietly, trying to not throw up all over the Doctor's control room. He would probably not appreciate it, even though he would deserve it.

The TARDIS door opened and the Doctor walked in solemnly. His eyes downcast and slightly watery. He walked right past Rose and up to the console, where he leaned against it sadly.

Rose watched him, looking teary eye'd herself, "Why her?"

The question could've met any number of things. But Amy knew what she really meant. Why her? Why not me?

When the Doctor didn't continue, Rose decided to change the topic, "Why did they think they could fix the ship with the head of Madame De Pompadour?"

The Doctor sniffed and shrugged, "We'll probably never know. There was massive damage in the computer memory base. Probably got confused. The TARDIS can close down the time windows now the droids are gone. Should stop it causing any more trouble."

He tapped on the computer slightly, looking down.

Rose watched him for a few moment, "Are you alright?"

The Doctor looked up, a sad smile on his lips, "I'm always alright."

And then he looked away, down at the controls. Rose watches him for a few moments.

Mickey walked up to her, taking her arm and making her look away from the Doctor, "Come on, Rose. It's time you showed me around the rest of this place."

Amy sent Mickey a thankful smile, as well as a soft glare, reminding him not to be so hard on her about all of this. The last thing Rose needed was an 'I told you so'.

Amy stayed where she was, not feeling well enough to move yet. And either the Doctor didn't see her there, or he didn't care, but she lay there and watched him as he pulled out a thick parchment envelope, slowly opening it up.

The Doctor was quiet as he scanned Amy in the zero room. The TARDIS had apparently moved the location of the medical bay into the Zero room permanently. While the room still freaked her out, it was a nice respite from being ill.

The Doctor's eyes were downcast and distant. He hadn't spoken about what happened when he went back, but Amy could guess.

Reinette had died, like humans do. The jump was too far this time, and he'd been too late. His eyes were sad and his entire body was stiff and tense, like he was trying to push it all away.

Amy was torn now. Torn between the Doctor and Rose. One part of her wanted to comfort him, he was still her best friend. But the other, bigger, part of her wanted to scratch his eyes out for how he'd treated Rose.

Rose...who had escaped to her bedroom only a few minutes after the Doctor had returned, taking Mickey with her. The poor man and sent her a 'help me' look, knowing that he was in for a night of crying and hugging.

But Amy was known for her temper, and she wouldn't be her if she didn't snap at somebody.

"I hope she was worth it." Amy whispered before thinking.

The Doctor looked up at her with dark eyes, "What?"

"Reinette." She said harshly, watching him flinch, "I hope she was worth it."

"What're you talking about?" He asked, sounding extremely tired.

"You know..." Amy started, "If you had returned with Reinette. Rose would have packed up and taken the next trip back to the Powell estate. And you would have never seen her again. So...was it worth it?"

He froze, like the thought hadn't even occurred to him, 'Why would she do that."

Amy stood up, "You stupid man." She hissed, "Because I don't know if you'e noticed, cause you don't have a very firm grip on human emotions, but Rose lo- cares about you." She swallowed. The 'L' word had almost come out there. She knew Rose would never have forgiven her if she'd told the Doctor that. But he didn't seem to have noticed, "For god's sake, she absorbed the time Vortex to save your sorry life, and then you run off with the first aristocrat who bats her eyelashes at you!"

"Don't!" The Doctor pointed a finger at her, "Don't talk about her like that."

Amy shook her head, "I lied to her! I told her that you didn't see Reinette that way, because I knew it would've destroyed her." She swallowed, remembering something, "You promised Rose you wouldn't abandon her."

He paused, "Yes, I know."

"That was less than twenty-four hours ago." Amy went to pick up her coat, before remembering she had left it on the ship, "And six hours ago we were standing on that ship thinking that you weren't ever coming back."

He paused, looking down at the screen in front of him, not saying anything.

Amy scoffed, "That's it then?" She turned to leave, "Well if you want to talk to her, she's in her bedroom right now. She's with Mickey, so you know, you might wanna knock first."

She made a knocking gesture with her hands, before turning to leave. She knew they weren't actually doing that. But the Doctor didn't

"You're symptoms are worse." He whispered, before clearing his throat. He didn't look away from the screen.

Amy gave him a stiff thumbs up before leaving him alone in the zero room.

Rory didn't care where he turned up, because this time instead of the soft golden light, he appeared in a flash of smoke and electricity.

He used to groan and fall over every time he used it, but he was use to it now. Use to that stupid piece of technology wrapped around his wrist.

He pressed the controls frantically, begging to be brought back, "No, no, no." He whispered, slamming his hand against the metal wall.

It was only then that he got a good look at his surrounds, then he frowned.

This wasn't 21st century technology. This was future...51st from the looks of it.

He paused for a moment, wondering when he'd started being able to define a century by the technology. Probably one of those things you pick up traveling with the Doctor. Once you've been to every century, you start to notice certain similarities.

Or maybe they'd just been to the 51st century quiet a bit. Not surprisingly as it was where they were most likely to find one River Song.

River...

"Dammit!" He threw the vortex manipulator at the wall, rubbing both his hands through his hair. He'd been so close. So close...

It seemed that time had stopped manipulating his actions a long time ago. For time to manipulate him...that was fine. Well, he thought it was fine. He didn't like to think of it that way. The warm golden tendrils sometimes reminded him of the golden light from the TARDIS matrix. He like'd to imagine that it was the crazy mad bitey lady who was...guiding him.

But now...now he felt like there were others who we're deciding his path for him. 'Go save the world, Rory', 'Now you have to do it again, Rory', 'Don't worry, you'll see Amy when you're done'.

He turned and collapsed against the wall. They had promised he'd seen her. She'd said she'd be alright. She'd promised, but he'd wanted to see her with his own two eyes. Just to make sure.

But he wasn't going to get that option. Now he had to sit here and pray and hope and beg that the Doctor had fixed everything. And that Amy was alright.

Well judging by the 51st century human tech, he couldn't help but notice that the Doctor had fixed it. The Human race was thriving, and if everything happened like she said, then Amy was alright.

But then, why hadn't she let him see her? Why had she cornered him and slammed a hand down on his manipulator, whipping him off here?

The gold should start soon. He'd expected it sooner. He didn't go to the future often. Long ago he had theorized that it was because the Angel had sent him to past. And in the past he should remain.

This was only the second time he'd gone beyond early 21st century.

He didn't cry. Amy was alright. She had to be, she wasn't supposed to be the one who got hurt. He was the one who got hurt, he was the one who died, and she was the one who mourned it. It was the way things had been, it was the way things always would be.

He sat down on the floor, placing his hand down on the metal surface only to frown. There was something there.

He looked down to see a jacket, there was a rip in the sleeve and a couple spots of blood. Definitely not 51st century. He picked it up and something fell out of the pocket.

It was a Polaroid. Frowning, he picked it up and looked at it.

He smiled for the first time in forever.

Four people sat on a couch, his couch, in his home. He had his arms wrapped around Amy who was looking exasperated at the Doctor, their Doctor. He had been talking about the history of the Polaroid and how it had been his idea the whole time. Beside the Doctor was Brian, who was grinning as the camera snapped the picture.

This was the picture that Amy had kept on her. Always.

He looked down and realized that this must have been her coat. He stuffed the photo into his pocket, promising himself that he would give it back to her, eventually.

He clutched the coat to himself, soaking in her smell, as he waited for the golden light to come and take him away.

Amy sat in her room, looking down at the blank piece of paper in her hand. She'd been thinking about this for a while. Ever since the Doctor came back into the TARDIS with a sealed envelope. A letter from the long dead Reinette Poisson.

They had been the same in the end. So much so, and you know what they say. If were to ever meet yourself, you would hate them.

And while Reinette had completely rubbed Amy the wrong way, which must've said something about her psyche, she had given her an idea in the end.

She tapped the pen against the paper a few more times before a soft smile appeared on her face. She could write a note. A letter to give to her Doctor, in the future. She could leave it here, or...give it to River to deliver.

Taking in a shaky breath Amy pressed the pen to paper.

"Hello, old friend. And here we are. You and me, on the last page..."

A/N: No apologies! I know I'm a terrible person.

So next time I update I'll be doing two chapters at once, mostly because the next chapter is a 'Meanwhile in the TARDIS'. And it's a Doctor/Rose one shot mostly. The last time I did a Meanwhile in the TARDIS people seemed to like it, so I figured I'd another one. But it's still pretty short. Which means you guys get two chapters in one day. Which is super exciting!

Anon Review Replies

Misty: That's a terrible coincidence. But it means you get updates when you come back! Thanks for the review!

HiddenMoon: Thanks for the review! I've been trying to watch more classic who myself, but I'm having troubles finding them online. Some of them are available on Canadian Netflix, but not very many of them. I officially own all of new who on DVD though, so that's a personal achievement. Thanks again for the review!

Reviews are still amazing. I still cannot believe how many people are reading this. It really motivates me. Like, after I updated last saturday I sat down and wrote 4 chapters in one go. It was insane. So review with all thoughts, questions, and concerns! I love hearing from you.

Until Next Time,

-Ash