Chapter 21

Blaine had been looking around for Sebastian for almost half an hour
now. He had missed rehearsals and it was a very un-Sebastian
like thing to do especially with only two weeks remaining for
nationals.
Thad and Beat informed that he had got a call while they were
heading towards the showers after lacrosse and hadn't seen Seb since.
He had not answered the various texts and calls from Blaine as well as
the rest of the Warblers though Blaine was worried sick about him
Hunter had refused to let Blaine go to search Sebastian as they
couldn't practice with both lead soloist gone. As soon as the
rehearsals were over Blaine darted out of the room towards their dorm
only to find it empty.
He was now on his way to the only place left to look for
Sebastian. The main building roof. The students weren't allowed there
ofcourse but it is Sebastian we are talking about.
As Blaine climbed the small staircase leading there he remembered the
first time he had come here with Sebastian obviously, it was while
they were just friends. Sebastian had been in mood of some mischief
and dragged Blaine here, they had spent hours talking and watching the
sun set. Sebastian had mentioned that he often came here if he needed
some quiet. And as expected he found the brown haired boy standing
near the edge overlooking the school grounds and the forest beyond.
Blaine walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around the
taller boy. "Bas, What happened?" Blaine asked when Sebastian didn't
say anything. "My mother called." Blaine turned Sebastian so that they
were standing face to face. "She's coming to visit me next week she
wants to make amends. I don't know if I want to see her B." "She's
your mother Bas and if she is trying I think you should give her a
chance." Sebastian didn't say anything, "She let him beat me up, she
even sent me to reformation camp because he insisted. She didn't do
anything to ever stop him, she let him beat they gay out of me. She's
my mother B, how could she do that?" Blaine didn't know how to respond
to that.
Sebastian had never opened up to him about his life in Paris or
even about his mother much. He always talked about his Dad, Nana and
even his Grandpa sometimes or even the rest of the family on his
father's side whom he didn't like much. But it was the first time he
had ever mentioned anything about his mother.
Sebastian pulled him down so they sat next to each other Sebastian
put his head in Blaine's lap trying to avoid looking at Blaine. Blaine
was running his fingers through Seb's hair trying to soothe him. "My
parents divorced when I was nine, Mother took me to Paris with her. I
blamed Dad for the divorce as I knew it had to do with all the women
he got home so I stopped speaking to him and in a couple of years he
also gave up too." As Sebastian spoke Blaine decided to not interject
and let him speak as he knew it was hard for Sebastian to open up to
someone because he was so used to keeping everything to himself.

«Flashback»

Sebastian was fifteen when his mother decided that they move out of
her parents house and go to live in the city. Two months later she
introduced him to Gustave and his son who was two year older to
Sebastian. That's how Sebastian met Yves. He had Yves soon became good
friends, Yves was one of the popular jocks in school and though
Sebastian was a freshman he was welcomed into their ranks. With his
good looks and wicked tongue it wasn't difficult for Sebastian to make
his place between them.
Sebastian knew he was gay, he had known it for sometime now but
he had never told anybody. When his mother and Gustave moved in
together he and Yves spent even more time together. Once when their
parents had gone for an overnight trip he and Yves had been watching a
movie together when he suddenly kissed Sebastian. Yves knew Sebastian
was gay, he was the only person who did. Sebastian had been attracted
to Yves and they began fooling around though Yves always said he
wasn't gay, he just enjoyed kissing Sebastian and that he had a
girlfriend.
Sebastian went along with it at first. He and Yves never labeled
their relationship or broke up with his girlfriend. Sebastian was just
his dirty little secret. But Sebastian didn't mind at first because to
a fifteen year old who lacked attention from his parents that
definitely felt like love and he really liked the attention he got
from Yves and he hoped that someday he and Yves wouldn't have to hide
anymore and they would be together forever.
All his hopes of Yves loving him were crushed when he returned
home early one day from his violin lessons to find Yves fucking his
girlfriend on the couch. Sebastian left his heart his every hope of
finding love being crushed as he ran out crying. Sebastian being his
stubborn self didn't remain wallowing in self pity for long, instead
he started going to random gay bars around town drinking and making
out random men.
One evening while he was at a bar drinking and dancing pretending
to have the time of his life he spotted Yves watching him he must have
followed Sebastian as he was trying to get Sebastian his recent hobby
of partying. He wanted him to feel the pain and heartache Sebastian
felt when he saw him with his girlfriend so Sebastian pulled the guy
was dancing with in a rough kiss and pulled him towards the restrooms.
The man he had been dancing with seemed to be a college kid who was
totally intoxicated, Sebastian had never even thought of doing
anything intimate with anyone but Yves but on the other hand he had
spent the past two weeks snogging any willing man so why not go all
the way and this man wasn't at all bad. His was pretty handsome
actually so Sebastian let blow him.
When he came out Yves was gone, Sebastian felt really good now
that he had his revenge on Yves. Little did he know this revenge would
come at a cost. Somehow everyone at school found out about his well
kept secret.
Though most were indifferent of the fact that Sebastian was gay,
the jocks who were once Sebastian's 'so called friends' started giving
him a hard time. When he told his family they weren't any better, his
grandparents refused to speak to him or see him. Gustave had taken to
using harsh words. He had hit Sebastian twice in anger as Sebastian
had bought shame to his family and at both times his mother hadn't
stopped him just stood aside and watched as he kicked and punched
Sebastian.
All the bullying and hatred had broken his spirit and as if
that wasn't enough something else happened that was his final blow
that crushed Sebastian.
Sebastian was walking down the hallway after lacrosse practice
when someone yanked him from behind and pulled him in an empty
classroom. That surprised him as he hadn't expected anyone to be in
school at this hour. He always stayed till others were done showering
to avoid being hit or taunted. Before he could understand what was
happening the person who had yanked him had him pressed against the
closed door and sucking at his neck.
He tried to push the person off him but he was no match for
the bulky boy who had him pinned. He knew his attacker, one of his
many bullies. He punched Sebastian several times while he ripped his
clothes. In no time Sebastian felt an excruciating pain as he
forcefully entered him. By now Sebastian's voice had become horse from
all the screaming and he stood there helpless tears streaming down his
eyes as his attacker pounded him.
When it was over Sebastian fell to the floor, the attacker
kicked him a few times and left him there. The janitor found Sebastian
hours later, his shirt crumpled and torn, pants around his ankles,
blood and cum dripping from his anus.
Everything after that passed in a blur. He didn't remember
being taken to the hospital but he woke up three days later to his
father and Nana by his side. His Uncle had called the Smythes and
informed them the whole situation when his sister and parents had
decided to send Sebastian to conversion therapy. So now Sebastian was
back in custody of his father and was going back to America. He hadn't
seen his mother, Yves or anyone else from his old life except his
Uncle since then.
«End of Flashback»

While Sebastian recounted all what he had been through Blaine had
held on to him tight. Sebastian had expected him to be running around
in the opposite direction learning how messed up Sebastian's life
actually was. He didn't expect Blaine to love him now, he had hated
himself at a point. He had even tried ending his life once a month
after he had been back to America and staying with his father.
But since then his Dad and Nana had done their best to make him
realize that he was loved and they would always love him no matter
what. It had taken him some time to actually believe them as after
experiencing so much hatred being actually loved and wanted was a bit
surreal. But even then he knew Blaine wouldn't. They had hardly been
together a month but Sebastian had to tell him he had fallen to hard
for the curly haired boy already and he didn't want to delay the
inevitable as he knew Blaine wouldn't want him once he knew all the
truth.
Sebastian sat up and turned towards Blaine when he didn't say
anything. Blaine's eyes were filled with tears. But the expression of
his face were so blank that Sebastian didn't know what to expect.
Sebastian was panicking now. Blaine wasn't saying anything just
staring at him. He knew what was to come but what if Blaine didn't
even speak to him again? He didn't want to lose Blaine completely.
"Blaine?" Readying himself for all the anger or hate whatever Blaine
was feeling to be thrown at him.

"Blaine?" Sebastian called me out of my thoughts, his voice chocked
due to all the crying. I couldn't bring myself to say anything as I
didn't know how exactly I felt. My emotions were all over the place, I
was angry at those who had put my Sebastian through all that, I was
boiling with hatred and anger to the boy who had...had done that to
him, toward Yves who was such a coward to have put Sebastian to all
this, towards his mother who was so irresponsible and selfish. I was
sad he had to go through all that, me of all people knew how it is to
be bullied. Happy that his father and Nana saved him from a horrible
fate and miserable because I couldn't do anything to make his pain or
suffering go away. He looked so vulnerable right now so fragile that
all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and shield him from the
cruel world.
"Blaine, please say something?" Sebastian's broken voice
interrupted his thoughts "I know you wouldn't want me now...I'm
dirty and broken and.."Sebastian didn't get to finish his sentence as
Blaine tackled him in a hug and held on to him. He tilted his lips and
brought their lips together, the kiss was filled with so much love
that it confused Sebastian. Of all the things he had expected this
wasn't one of it.
He didn't expect Blaine to still want him after knowing he was
raped, used and filthy. But then again Blaine was full of surprises.
"I'm not going anywhere Bas, if that's what you are worried about."
Blaine told him sensing what Sebastian might be thinking. He had
expected the same when he told him of his attack. He had always
avoided telling Kurt what exactly had happened when he was attacked
because he thought Kurt wouldn't like him if he knew how weak Blaine
had been. Not everyone would want to stick around with a person with
so much baggage that would only make things difficult.
But he wasn't scared of Sebastian's past, things like that could
wreak relationships but it made Blaine determined to try harder. "I'm
not running away Bas, I love you, I love the person you have
become...even after so much that you have been through you turned out
to be fairly decent. I love you Sebastian, and you are not getting
rid of me that easily." Blaine said as he tried to soothe Sebastian
who still had a few tears rolling down his eyes.
"I love you too Blaine." Sebastian said in a soft voice. "And
thank you." He said before kissing him. Sebastian hadn't expected that
he would actually tell Blaine everything. Things that only his family
knew about other than the officials. He had never considered sharing
this part of his life with anyone but than again he hadn't met Blaine
yet.
Blaine was his blessing, his angel the boy had started creeping
under his barriers since the first day. He had seen the person
Sebastian had been hiding behind the cold exterior. He had managed to
make Sebastian drop his walls, he wasn't there yet but he wasn't using
the cold hard exterior to keep people out and distant. He had been
afraid of rejection so he had decided to become someone people would
dislike already so there wasn't a question of rejection if he pushed
them away before they got a chance.