To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "a story's just ink on a page until a reader comes along to give it life." This in my way of saying, I'd really like to know what you think, and appreciate all reviews.

CHAPTER 21: MR. LUCKY

MR. LUCKY: Romance, circa 1943. What starts out as a light-hearted Cary Grant comedy turns into a tear-jerker when the title character decides he doesn't deserve his own happiness.

MORAL: Movies always center on falling in love. But sometimes, learning to accept that you are loved is where the real story lies.

It had started slowly at first. A report of a drug plane captured in one country, an illegal weapons dealer arrested with his cargo in another. Mokuba had been with Kaiba when the first stories broke. The slight, satisfied smirk had been enough to tip Mokuba off. He'd stayed with his brother throughout the day, as a hastily written program searched the news feeds and popped the relevant stories on the monitor. Mokuba could follow the reports in English, Chinese and French. Kaiba had translated the rest. They'd finally gone home, where the program ran in their living room; the only difference was they could sit on the couch and watch… until Mokuba had fallen asleep. Every time he woke up, he saw his brother, watching the monitor, checking each report off against the tally in his head.

The next day, Mokuba didn't bother to ask his brother if he'd slept. Mokuba knew he hadn't. By the time they'd finished breakfast, a reporter had looked at the scattered reports and realized that through an odd coincidence, the captured planes had all been a Kaiba Corporation product – a lightweight plane with stealth features, perfectly designed for distributing illicit cargo – and that the supposedly secure tracking system had suddenly and dramatically failed. No one was quite sure why.

Mokuba looked at Kaiba. Kaiba shrugged. "The cipher scrambling the location data had an expiration date."

Mokuba smiled. "I'm proud of you, Nisama."

And that was when Kaiba's mood turned ugly. "Don't be. I was the one who designed the damn thing in the first place. Stopping them won't undo a single death. That's nothing to be proud of."

Mokuba didn't answer. They headed for the car in silence. Kaiba started driving. Kaiba didn't argue when Mokuba refused to go to school. His silent acceptance of Mokuba's determination to stay by his side worried Mokuba more than anything else Kaiba could have done. Yesterday had been his brother's greatest victory. Mokuba was worried how his brother would choose to celebrate.

Mokuba stole a glance at his brother. Nothing in Kaiba's austere face or bearing suggested he wanted to talk, but Mokuba tried anyway.

"You shouldn't blame yourself. Gozaburo was the one who sold those planes, not you."

"I'm the one who designed them, Mokuba. I was willing to accept blood money."

"For me."

"No. Not entirely. I was the one who picked Gozaburo, not you. How he'd made his fortune wasn't a secret. But I wanted enough power and money to ensure that I could control my life without anyone's interference. I thought it would make us safe."

"You didn't know what would happen!"

"I should have. The pieces were all there in front of me. It was my choice… they were all my choices."

Mokuba bit his lip. It wasn't that simple. His Nisama might have studied Gozaburo before that chess game, but in every way that mattered, he hadn't had a clue what he was getting himself into. But that was the one thing Mokuba could never bring himself to say. Kaiba needed to believe he'd been in control the whole time more than Mokuba needed to convince him that he was wrong.

They rode in silence for the rest of the way. Mokuba worked in Kaiba's office for a while then went to his own to hammer out some remaining tournament details.

Yami hadn't seen the news. He seldom watched it unless Sugoroku was drawing his attention to some item – and Sugoroku was much more interested in archaeological findings than current events. Besides, they had both been in the store all day. It was afternoon by the time Yami headed out.

Yami had needed a day off from Kaiba before facing him again. His first attempt at "talking" had been a disaster and Yami wasn't used to failure. The strategic move would be to wait for late at night when they were in Kaiba's room, in the one time and place where Kaiba felt safe enough to let down his guard a little. But Yugi was right. Yugi and Anzu didn't need strategy. They shouldn't either. Yami squared his shoulders, entered the Kaiba Corporation building and went upstairs.

Mokuba was in the hallway as Yami got off the elevator. Mokuba stared at Yami, his eyebrows disappearing into his hair as he raised them in surprise. Mokuba had wanted to talk to Yami and in Mokuba's experience, that kind of accidental meeting usually took a lot of planning. Mokuba nodded to Yami, pleased when the Yami followed him into his office. Then Yami closed the door and Mokuba realized he had no idea what to say.

Mokuba frowned. His brother kept insisting that Yami didn't care. Mokuba didn't agree. Yami stayed over a lot; he seemed to generally like Kaiba's company. It didn't seem to be just about… well… sex. (Mokuba squirmed at the thought of using that word in connection with his brother.) Kaiba was sure that was all it was, he'd pointed out to Mokuba that Yami had never denied it. But Mokuba knew that when it came to Yugi and his friends, his brother was wrong far more often than he was right. And Yami had no idea he was about to walk into a minefield. "It's not like he can't take care of himself," Mokuba mumbled.

"Mokuba?" Yami asked.

Mokuba flushed; he hadn't meant to speak out loud. "Well, you can," he insisted.

"Of course I can. Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm glad, that's all." Mokuba frowned. The question he wanted to ask was: 'Can you take care of my brother, too?' But Mokuba couldn't force the words out, even though this was Yami and Mokuba was getting used to talking to him.

Yami frowned. "If you have something to say, just spit it out already."

Mokuba's lips twisted. He shrugged. "Nothing. I mean, my brother explained everything to me… well, from his point of view anyway. He's convinced all you guys got going is a rivals with benefits type of thing… that you don't really care..."

Yami groaned. "Let me put you on a conference call with your brother and Yugi. You can all have fun discussing what I feel and how much I don't care to your heart's content!"

The office door slammed as Yami stormed out.

Mokuba bit his lip. He sat at his desk for a moment, looking down without seeing any of the papers on it. He'd gotten his answer, at least in part. Whatever Yami had told his brother, or whatever his brother had misunderstood, Yami cared, probably more than either was willing to admit. Yami was also spoiling for a fight. Mokuba shook his head and got back to work. A fight would be fine. It would clear the air. It might even rouse his brother out of his funk.

Yami scowled and headed for Kaiba's office. He was sick of both Kaiba brothers. No matter how far Yami thought they'd all come, he always wound up back at the starting line, as if no time had passed since he'd been reborn. As if he was still the same person who'd stared at the Egyptian sand longing for the death he'd been cheated of. As if neither he nor they had changed and the long hard road leading from Egypt to this moment when he was angrily striding towards Kaiba's office had never been walked.

He glared at Kaiba's secretary when she held up a hand to stop him as he approached her desk.

"Let me buzz you in," she said, as aware as Yami that this was a break from her usual routine. But unlike Yami, she'd seen the news. Her boss had been, even by his standards, in a foul mood. She'd have been less worried if he'd yelled or thrown things. His icy silence unnerved her, as did the hot, childish sense of hurt that seeped out around the edges of his control. She hoped the sight of his only friend would help, but she knew enough to give Kaiba a moment to compose himself, to erect whatever barrier he needed before facing Yami. She nodded to Yami to go in.

He thrust open Kaiba's door with a snap.

Kaiba didn't look up, evidently finding his computer screen more interesting than Yami's arrival. Kaiba's only acknowledgment was to turn off the television monitor. It had been in Chinese. Yami stared without interest at a video of people unloading something from a plane as the screen went dark.

"Kaiba!" Yami called out as he closed the door.

Kaiba looked up briefly, then focused back on his computer.

Yami scowled. They were back to the same old game where Kaiba pretended he was too busy to notice Yami's appearance. "So how's business? It must be booming to occupy so much of your attention," Yami said in a falsely polite voice.

Kaiba's already pale face whitened. "Is that a joke?" Kaiba hissed.

"Of course it is. Everything's a joke or a game to you, isn't it?"

"Everything from chess to the blood-soaked wars of the human race," Kaiba repeated hollowly. "And I was a fool to forget that even for a minute."

"Kaiba, is something wrong?" Yami asked, taking in his rival's ashen face and bleak expression.

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "What could possibly be wrong? I'm the guy who gets what he wants, whatever the cost."

"I'm giving you one last chance to be honest, to tell me what you're feeling," Yami warned.

"I'm the great Seto Kaiba. I don't feel."

Yami laughed. "Are we back to that? Here's a newsflash to rival anything on that television: You feel. You're just afraid to admit it during the day because that would violate one of your nonsensical rules. But secretly you live for those moments when you can confess that you're human… when you have someone to listen." Yami's voice dropped. " I know because I'm the same."

Kaiba broke into Yami's speech, his furious voice drowning out Yami's final words. "I'm not going to be indebted to you again! That's what you want isn't it? For things to go back to the old status quo where you had all the answers – or you thought you did. Well, I dragged my ass out of that pit and I'm not tumbling back in."

"A grudge and a debt. I should have known! That's all this has ever been to you, hasn't it?"

"Of course," Kaiba replied instantly. It wasn't true, or at any rate it hadn't been true for a long time, but having tossed the words out, Kaiba wasn't going to take them back.

Yami ground his teeth. He'd come here to fight it out with Kaiba if necessary to get to the truth. Instead, Kaiba had trapped him in another endless round of petty bickering.

"If that's the way you want it," Yami snapped. "I had hoped that you had changed, but maybe I was seeing something that was never really there. You're the same heartless loser you were when we met. I'm disappointed in you – and in myself for expecting better."

Kaiba shrugged. "That's hardly anything new. You've always been disappointed in me, you always will be."

"How dare you say that! Don't push your own fears and doubts off on me, Seto Kaiba! Stand up and face them instead."

"Like you do? Come off it. You keep whining about what an awful person you were as if you're still about to call down penalty games."

"You don't understand. My anger killed!"

"So did mine," Kaiba said, glancing at the now dark television monitor as if his complicity in murder and violence was still being broadcast throughout the room in seven different languages. He'd created those weapons, those planes, those missiles in anger, pouring every ounce of his hatred for Gozaburo into their design. He'd taken his rage out on the rest of the world… and it had killed. "If you don't believe you can be any different, how can I expect you to do anything besides look at me and see the twisted, contemptible creature you faced at Death-T?"

"You son of a bitch! You know that's not true! Do you really believe that people can't change – or is it just that you're afraid to? You're the one who's afraid to trust, who has to twist everything into an excuse for never believing in anyone or anything. That's what makes you a pathetic loser, not all the times I've defeated you."

Once Kaiba had stood on Pegasus' tower and dared Yami to push him off. Once Yami had said that he'd never back down. Unfortunately neither had learned as much since that day as they'd hoped.

Kaiba's eyes narrowed to slits. "Big talk for someone who goes through life like a dead pharaoh walking. You keep saying I'm the one who's afraid of living, who thinks defeat equals death. But only one of us was ready to follow through on that, was ready to lose a duel and die – and it wasn't me!"

"What?" Yami gasped, white-lipped.

"You were planning on walking right into the afterlife that day, weren't you? You were going to leave us without a backwards glance, as if we were a speed bump on your way to your death. You were going to commit suicide by Yugi." Kaiba threw back his head again and laughed. "I love it."

Yami shut his eyes, feeling the blood rushing to his head. It left him dizzy yet effervescent, like a soda bottle about to pop open. He could almost feel the power gathering the way it always did before he called a penalty game. That magic was gone, but the feeling, the heady self-righteous rage, the desire to wound, to punish, remained. It howled for an outlet, demanded its release.

Yami reached out and jerked Kaiba forward before throwing Kaiba back against his chair. Yami leaned in closer. Despite his anger – or maybe because of it – Yami reacted to the other's nearness, suddenly aware of how close Kaiba's lips were, of how his rival's breath was teasing the top of his own mouth with each exhale. Yami straddled Kaiba, pressing him deeper into the soft leather, and took his mouth, thrusting his tongue insistently inside, as much to drown out Kaiba's words as for the relief he felt as Kaiba welcomed his attack.

Yami lifted his head, dazed. Kaiba's bark of laugh jerked his attention back to his opponent. "You're finally being honest, Yami. What we're sharing isn't friendship; you can't even pretend it is. We like to fuck each other senseless, that's all."

Yami jumped back. "Even that's not worth it anymore."

"Oh yeah? That's not what you thought ten seconds ago." Kaiba's eyes had darkened, had turned liquid. They drew Yami towards him.

Yami took a step further back instead. "I'm not listening to anything a coward like you has to say. I don't know why I ever did, why I ever thought we could have something more. Yugi was right about us."

"Yugi's always right isn't he? Once you had to admit that destiny wasn't real, that fate had let you down, you decided to cling to that miserable little runt instead!"

"How dare you insult Yugi! That miserable little runt – as you just called him – is the man who saved your life and your brother's."

"Leave my brother out of this!"

"Why? You don't! You never hesitate to drag him into every reprehensible plan you can come up with!"

"That's because he's my partner, and you aren't!"

"I could say the same about you!"

"I never pretended anything else! What about you? Maybe it's time for you to face some facts, too," Kaiba hissed. "You're afraid of everything, yourself most of all. You're even scared to admit that you're not Yugi. And until you can do that, you're useless – not just to me, but to yourself as well!"

For a moment, all Yami felt was a pure burst of rage, sweeping everything clear. Its intensity shocked him to silence. For an instant, Kaiba's office disappeared as Yami stood there, shaking with the force of it, taking deep gasping breaths as he fought for control.

Then Yami shut his eyes, finally hearing all the things Kaiba had just screamed at him. Yami couldn't deny the grain of truth buried underneath the malice. He was afraid of the person he'd been, the person Kaiba kept insisting he liked. The whole time he'd been with Kaiba, Yami had worried over what Yugi thought, had tried to force his feelings to match the ones Yugi told him he should have. He'd never thought about what he wanted for himself, or even whether Kaiba was who he wanted. He'd blamed Kaiba for his own indecision and anger; he'd let Yugi blame Kaiba as well. Yami had been so used to Kaiba being wrong, it had never occurred to Yami that he'd had a share in it as well.

Kaiba stared at Yami, unnerved by his silence. "What?" he roared.

"You're right," Yami said.

Kaiba's eyes widened. "What?"

"I was searching for an identity. And I ended up dragging you into something I had to settle on my own. Worse... Do you remember that day when you told me that I could attack you whenever I needed to unleash my anger? I argued, but I ended up doing it anyway, over and over. I can't use you that way."

"Why not?"

"Kaiba, don't you get how wrong that is?"

"Are you saying I can't handle anything you can dish out? Fuck you, Yami. I'm your equal! Do you hear that? Your equal!"

Yami shook his head. "I kept blaming you for not being open, but I wasn't offering anything better either, was I?"

"Maybe I don't want anything more!"

"Don't you?" Yami challenged.

"Nobody's dead. As far as interactions go, ours seems above average."

Yami stared at Kaiba. "You can't be serious," he said, although he knew Kaiba was. "Is that the sum of your expectations: that hopefully we won't murder each other?"

Kaiba dug his elbows into his desk and rested his chin on his steepled fingers. He smirked as if he'd just turned over the winning card. "It sure beats the alternative."

Yami's head drooped. So this was what defeat felt like. Kaiba couldn't – or wouldn't – understand. Yami refused to be a party to hurting Kaiba further. He couldn't risk it. And Yami was used to making sacrifices to protect the ones he loved.

It was strange, Yami thought, that this was the moment when he finally realized that he loved Seto Kaiba, deeply and irrevocably.

"I'm leaving," Yami said as he headed for the door.

"Coward," Kaiba spat out as he stood up and stepped away from his desk for the first time.

Yami turned at the door. "You don't get it. I came here today because I was mad. Because I wanted to fight, I wanted to yell. If I still had my old powers, I could have called down a penalty game. And I refuse to be that angry, vengeful spirit ever again."

Kaiba nodded. He glanced at the darkened television again. He'd turned off the news but it would never go away. How could he blame Yami for his anger? The surprise was that Yami had ever looked at him and felt anything else. "Believe me, I understand. I'd hoped… it doesn't matter, does it? I certainly don't deserve anything better."

"Yes, you do, and you don't even know it. I can't keep using you as my target any time I need something to attack. I don't want to keep hurting you because I'm mad at myself… and the worst part is you think that's okay. It's not. It isn't fair to either of us."

"I don't care."

Yami opened the door. "But you should. One of us has to." Yami closed the door quietly behind him and walked to the elevator without looking back.

.

Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and for being so steadily encouraging.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Once again, Kaiba had to sound like an engineer. As always, I'm grateful to Splintered Star for helping me figure out about why stealth planes might suddenly become a lot less stealthy.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, this is me hiding under my chair…

Often there's an assumption that if people are hurt there must be a bad guy. But Yami told Kaiba at Alcatraz that not all the demons they bring to a duel are contained in their decks. I thought that might be true for them in a relationship as well. I'm trying to write a story for where as many problems as Yami and Kaiba have, singly and together, there isn't a villain. Sometimes the external conflicts are the easiest ones to fight.

Good, bad or anything in between, I'd like to know what you think.

Tumblr Note:I'm on Tumblr as Nenya85, mostly posting manga frames and screen shots and rambling on about them. If you're interested in checking it out, the link is on my biopage.

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Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I really look forward to hearing from you (to be honest, it makes my day!) Your comments help me figure out what's missing, what's working and whether I managed to get the story in my head on the page. I can't express how encouraging it is. Please review.