Identical
The plane journey seemed to be over in a flash. My eyes drooped as soon as I sat in the seat. My previous thoughts about the girl in a waiting area vanished and my familiar blank canvas welcomed me to sleep.
"Excuse me, miss?" A hand shook my shoulder and my eyes flashed open. The young steward smiled at me gently, his eyes full of awe as he took me in. "We have landed in Alabama miss." I hurried to my feet and thanked him. My bag banged heavily on my back as I rushed off the plane.
Two familiar beings stood quietly outside the airport. I rushed over to them and Esme opened her arms wide for me to jump into.
"Renesmee!" She breathed into my neck. Her beautifully sweet scent was wonderful.
"Have you got everything?" Carlisle took my bag as we walked to his black car. "Is this it?"
"Yes, Bella has everything else."
"Did everyone leave ok?" Esme asked, her arm around my shoulders.
"Yes, all sorted." I slipped into the back of the car and Carlisle quickly started the engine. We seemed to glide out of the car park and then it was another long journey to Mobile. This time though, I couldn't fall asleep. I stared long and hard out of the window that was gently becoming sprinkled with raindrops. Cars whipped past as we turned onto the highway, their engines nothing compared to Carlisle's. My two grandparents murmured to each other gently, their voices unclear to me as I fell into a daydream.
The large white sign for Mobile flashed past us and Carlisle took a turning off. We drove down a long, straight drive, longer than the previous one.
"Here it is, Renesmee," Esme said with her radiant smile, "our home." The car slowed as we reached a large, rustic house. It was larger than the white house back in Forks, with wider windows and a taller roof. I gawped at it; it was gorgeous. Even in the heavy rain, I could see its magnificent architecture. "Do you like it?"
"It's wonderful," I murmured. Carlisle smiled and started the engine back up. He drove slowly around the house, turning off down a smaller lane. The lane twisted and turned like a deformed spine, bordered with dark green trees.
"Now, to see your house," he said proudly, pushing his car forwards. The lane straightened out a little and we reached a small, iron gate, about waist-height. I stepped out of the car, ignoring the rain that fell even heavier now, and stared long and hard at the beautiful cottage that stood quietly in front of me. The cottage was a similar colour to Carlisle's house; a deep wooden brown. But this cottage was a lot less open, bordered with colourful flowers. It was perfect.
"Gorgeous, isn't it?" Esme said, standing beside me all of a sudden. I looked up at her with a grin.
"Amazing." She took my hand and pushed the gate open with the other, leading me into the cottage. Carlisle hurriedly followed with my bag on his shoulder. The front door was similar to a stable door, cut in half but kept as one piece with a large golden bolt. Esme opened the door quietly.
The cottage was light, even in the shaded area that it huddled under, and the whitewashed walls reflected each other like identical twins. The windows were small, square shaped with dark wooden frames. The wood was cleanly varnished and the frames seemed to sparkle with their shiny surface. Outside the windows you could see the beautiful landscape of the almost forest the cottage hid in. It was prettier than the one back in Forks, with less muggy green and more purple and blue. There were plants, plants that loved the wet, snaking up past the window outside, their delicate little petals pressing back onto the glass as the raindrops slid onto them.
Esme's cold arm pressed softly into my back as she guided me to my room. It was larger than my old room and brighter too. The walls were a light lilac colour to match my bed linen. The bed was pressed against a wall in the corner, allowing for a big enough space in the middle of the room for me to walk around. There was a vintage wardrobe, boasting a varnished auburn colour, stood proudly by the door. I let my fingers trace the ornate patterns on the golden handles with care.
"What do you think?" Esme's tranquil voice broke me out of my daydream. "Is this colour ok?" She glided into my room, her own fingers brushing against the walls as she inspected everything. She stopped by my bed, looking brightly out of the window. "Your bed is directly opposite the window, to let light in of course," she winked at me once, so quickly I could barely register it.
"I'll leave your bag here," Carlisle said from the door. He then disappeared; probably back to his house to finish unpacking what he and Esme had brought. I wandered to Esme's side and gazed with her out the window. My bedroom was at the front of the house and so I could see Carlisle leaving with grace, his movements quick but careful as he closed the gate. The plants that grew in the front garden weaved up the outside walls to almost frame my window. I could also see the track leading to the Cullens' house but the curves of the road blocked my view of the actual building. It would have been nice to have seen it, the grand wooden building full with my beautiful relatives. But then, it would have made sneaking Jacob in a lot harder. I'm sure Alice's beady eyes would have been watching, accompanied by Rosalie's disapproving hisses.
"I have something else to show you," Esme whispered in my ear as she slowly steered me out of my room. I followed her without question, my eyes taking in my wonderful new home. She led me out of my home, through the front gate but then we turned back on ourselves, walking back past my cottage.
"Where are we going?" I asked but she continued to lead me silently past the little cottage. We found a muddier track, sloshing noisily with the rain. I had barely registered the heavy falling of raindrops, smearing my hair to my face untidily.
We turned left, continuing down the track quietly, and I felt as if we should be coming back to the Esme's house again. But we didn't, instead, I heard the gentle humming of cars. Where on earth was she taking me? The trees seemed to disperse from this moment on and I eventually saw a small road, teeming with cars. We stood in the shadows of the trees but there was a gaping hole right next to us, leading to the pavement.
Esme lifted a finger and pointed to the right. I followed it eagerly, confused at where she was taking me. I blinked and saw a little townhouse, stood on a higher bit of land beside the road. There was a small drive leading up the uphill stretch from the road to the house. It seemed to me that the garage was directly underneath the house, and that the main rooms were on the second floor. It was quite a pretty house, with its modern white walls and long pine windows. But what did it have to do with me?
"Do you think Jacob would like it?" Esme then asked. I stared at her.
"What?"
"Carlisle and I thought if we bought you a home, then we should buy Jacob one." She smiled angelically and I thought I could see the goodness of her heart radiating from her. Even in the rain, she looked like a saint.
"Oh," I looked back at the house, imagining a broad muscled boy driving his homemade Rabbit up the drive. The vision looked so perfect I could nearly cry. "Oh Esme, it's perfect!"
"Oh good," she didn't seem to notice my overwhelming joy as she took my hand and led me back to my cottage.
"How did you, I mean, why did you, what did you-"
"Renesmee, dear child," Esme laughed lightly, "Jacob is part of our family now." I stared at her in disbelief as we walked. It felt nice to walk, I suddenly thought. In Forks, we seemed to run everywhere. It was leisurely, almost peaceful, to walk to my cottage. We were probably walked twice as fast as the average person but it still felt good. Esme then laughed again. "Your face, you look as if you're seeing things!"
"I thought I was hearing things," I said, "I didn't realise…"
"What, dear?" She asked innocently. I looked at her hard but she gave nothing away. She seemed perfectly guiltless.
"Nothing," I looked back down, "nothing."
We reached my cottage quickly, our clothes soaked through. Esme plucked at her top with a laugh and ruffled her lively hair. Her ivory skin sparkled with raindrops; it was just as if she was standing in the bright rays of the sun.
"I should really go help unpack," she took a towel from our half-furnished bathroom and wiped her face, "Edward will be here in a few hours. Make yourself at home, Renesmee, and just come and see us if you get lonely."
"And… Jacob?" I asked quietly. She folded the towel up carefully before answering.
"He won't be here till tomorrow." I felt a small stab of sadness in my stomach as I realised it would be ages till I see him. Esme took my hand, squeezed it once and left.
I lay back on my bed with a sigh. My hair, soaked and straggly, splayed out behind me like an outspread fan. I let my fingers brush through it for a few moments before giving up in defeat against the damp tangles.
My top clung to me uncomfortably and I pulled at it once before letting my arms droop by my sides. The silky linen caressed my back as I lay silently, my soft breathing barely audible. My mind, that was once full of the wonder of my new home, was suddenly invaded by memories. As I closed my eyes, the black canvas I was hoping for flashed with an unavoidable white light. I saw Jacob climbing through my window, Kia staring at me with noticeable dislike and envy, Jackson watching my movements in awe, La Push sea, Seth pointing at where he had got attacked, Bella disappearing with Alice upstairs, the dark surroundings of Forks fading as I collapsed into sleep, blue. My eyes snapped open and my heart thumped.
I bolted upright, my hands gripping the linen in anxiety. I wished for Jacob to come. What would I give to nestle into his chunky arms, the heat of him radiating onto my wet skin. I imagined him so hard; it was hard to believe it was just a vision. I thought of his dark chocolate eyes, sparkling mischievously but with the power to root me to the spot and freeze me. I imagined his ruffled hair, short, just how I preferred it. I thought of how my fingers could run through it as he held me close. My heart ached mournfully as I thought of his lips, pressing onto mine like two jigsaw pieces fitting perfectly together.
My heart rate began to race as I carefully replayed our first kiss. How angered and confused I had felt when he suddenly pushed all of himself on top of me in a wild moment of passion. How the hell had I not liked it? What on earth was running through my mind as I had turned my back on him? Yes, it was a very aggressive and almost enough for me to topple over but it was still Jacob.
My fingers twisted my duvet around into little swirling knots. I felt the smack of the bark of the tree I had thrown myself into when he had growled. Then I felt the overwhelming temperature of him as he darted over to me, leaning his arm on the tree. Then there was the kiss. How for a second, I had gone along with it happily. My arms had wound around him and restricted him from breaking away from him. How it was Jacob who pulled away slowly, not me.
I put my fingers to my lips, just I had done when the kiss was over, and closed my eyes slowly. After that kiss, I had asked him to run away with me. He had refused. There was that same stab that jabbed into my side as I felt the rejection again. No. I forced myself to remember the undeniable love he had for me. He simply thought it was a silly idea. Yes, I thought, it was rather.
Back then, I don't think I fully understood the relationship I was about to have with Jacob Black. I was completely naïve about it. It was strange to think of my life when I hadn't thought of Jacob in that way. Way back when I simply thought of him as my brother. I squirmed uncomfortably at that until I remembered our conversation with Jacob. When I had explained my feelings.
The raindrops started slamming into my window at that point, almost as if they were trying to force an entry. I got off my bed and placed a hand on the glass, the cool temperature similar to Bella's. I longed, even pined for, my family. I tried not to think of the heart wrenching tug deep in my stomach, the longing for someone else.
"Let's be productive," I said to myself. It wasn't a great start; I was feeling lonely and already I was talking to myself. Esme had said for me to see her and Carlisle if I wanted to but they would be unpacking. Their routine would be too perfect for me to settle into. I was better off here. I opened my gorgeous wardrobe carefully. The back wall of it stared evenly back at me, empty. My clothes were folded up in the back of numerous cars, speeding wildly but gracefully down some highway somewhere. I smiled faintly.
I walked around my room a couple of times before striding out of the doorway, exploring the rest of my new home. Bella and Edward's room was large with white walls reflecting all of the light possible. There was a large iron bed in the middle, dominating most of the room proudly. I stood at the door quietly. The bed seemed to gaze back at me. I blinked once and turned around. It was weird to stare at your parents' bed.
We didn't have much of a kitchen. There was just a wooden L shape counter in the corner of the living room where three bar stools stood. Behind the counter was another identical counter snuggled against the wall. There was a sink and a microwave but nothing much else. We also had a tiny fridge, one of those silly mini versions, tucked under one of the counters. It would most likely stay practically empty, unless Jacob was to stop round. I smiled, thinking of him innocently sat on a bar stool, hands full of all sorts of food I would just wrinkle my nose at. Not even raw steaks smelled particularly appealing to me. Jacob had tried tempting me with them once. I had just taken the meat and flung it back in his face, leaving it pink and stained.
I perched on the clean white sofa, staring at the blank TV screen. It felt as if I were trespassing or something. I was afraid to turn on the TV in case it made too much noise. I was afraid to use the toilet. I just about muster some courage to give into sleep and creep into bed. The rhythmical patters of the rain were soothing as I closed my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time today.
"Renesmee?"
I opened my eyes in panic, only to see those familiar golden orbs gaze back at me amusingly. I sat up and Edward perched on the end of my bed.
"What time did you get here?" I asked, my voice croaking. He smiled easily and ran a hand through his hair.
"Not long ago, I just helped Carlisle unpack a little." I could see from my window that he had parked his gleaming Volvo just outside the cottage. It appeared to be empty. He must of un-packed all of the stuff he had got in there. Typical. Edward's grin didn't falter as he kept up with my thoughts.
"When is the rest of the cavalry supposed to arrive?" I slid out of my bed.
"Rosalie and Emmett are here. Alice and Jasper got caught up somewhere, I think she tried to take a more scenic route," his eyes glimmered faintly at his sister's eccentric antics, "but I don't think it went too well."
"Ah," I smiled back at him and tousled my curls. "Have you heard from-" I stopped. The affection for Jacob might just end at Esme. I might be pushing it to ask for some courtesy on the subject from Edward.
"No, sorry." Edward replied anyway, his expression calm. I rolled my eyes at his unpredictable emotions. It won't be long till they're sworn enemies again. "You're probably right." He chuckled.
"Stop that!" I snapped but he grinned more, his teeth sparkling.
Edward's Volvo prowled around the corners almost boastingly as he drove us quickly back to the new Cullens' house. We could have run, I thought, but the thought of running without a werewolf was slightly depressing. I could see the cascading wave of blonde hair moving through the large windows. Rosalie was gliding around the house in black designer heels, her arms full of ugly cardboard boxes, too ugly for the likes of her to be transporting around.
Edward pushed open the door whilst calling out our arrival. Esme hugged him, appearing out of nowhere but that was expected around here. She reeled off a list of instructions to her children as they glided past her like some surreal, ordered whirlwind. There were boxes dotted around but not for long. Edward disappeared from my side and began to un-pack alongside his siblings. I stood and watched in amused awe until Emmett's large hand slammed into my back affectionately.
"Hey, everyone pitches in." He handed me a box full of pretty glass ornaments of ballerinas and horses. The box was labelled with Rosalie's name so I looked out for my beautiful aunt and followed her upstairs.
"Rosalie?" I called after her and she turned around with a brisk smile.
"Yes?" I lifted the box a little higher and she pointed to an open door in which I walked through. The room I entered was huge, stupidly huge, with a stupidly huge bed and a stupidly huge wardrobe that partnered with a stupidly huge dressing table. The bed was covered with white pillows, silk with white beading. Yes, this was definitely Rosalie and Emmett's room; everything large, everything luxurious. It felt illegal to dump the torn cardboard box on the white fluffy carpet so I put it there and sort of ran.
"Renesmee?" Edward called, though he didn't have to raise his voice. The walls let his words carry through the house in echoes. "You wouldn't mind putting this in Carlisle's study would you?" I darted to the top of the stairs to find Edward's outstretched hand holding a large painting with ease. I took it with two hands and lugged it up the stairs, looking through all of the open doors until I found the one I was looking for.
Carlisle's study was nearly perfect now, his desk, books, statues, paintings and numerous other objects all in place. The bookcases, all heaving with many centuries of the written word, towered knowingly over me as I walked in. I carefully leant the large painting by his desk.
The study was panelled, just like his previous one, and even though the dark wood could be stereotyped into shifting your mood into something gloomy and perhaps even sinister, all you felt was overwhelming knowledge and citizenship as you walked in. The walls were not empty, if they were not hidden behind the giant bookcases; they were neatly decorated with endless amounts of art. I studied the paintings quietly, trying to think back to the ages they scrolled through. It unnerved me a little to think Carlisle lived through all of these times. I walked around slowly as my eyes feasted on the different splashes of colour and paint. All of the paintings seemed to have a meaning. Carlisle was particular about a lot of things and by no means did that stop at the art he hung in his study.
I chewed my lip thoughtfully as I wondered what all the meanings were. Carlisle hadn't told me about his past yet. He hadn't divulged the, what I can only imagine as centuries of struggle and pain as he discovered who he truly was. I was yet to understand how he turned and why he had chosen this lifestyle that he taught us. Perhaps one day I would find out but now, well now my own life was still to be planned out. My mind was far too busy already and to be stuffed with other questions was just asking for trouble.
I found myself stood back by Carlisle's desk and the painting so I stood back to admire it. It seemed to dislodge some flickering emotions in me. The painting depicted a comparatively sedate quartet of figures on the highest balcony, looking calmly at the mayhem below them. One had golden hair, the other snowy-white and the other two black. I let my finger press their faces,
"Aro, Marcus, Caius." My voice trembled. They weren't so terrible I suppose. But then that would be lying. They tried to kill me. My finger pressed the painting harder than I had intended and I suddenly feared I had ruined the art but thankfully, their demure expressions hadn't faltered. I took one last look at them before turning on my heel, almost triumphantly, and closing the door, engulfing the painting into darkness.
"You took a while," Edward said softly as I wandered back down the stairs. His arms were empty and it seemed all of the boxes had disappeared. Esme and Carlisle were pointing proudly of a window, admiring the views. The Cullen whirlwind ceased.
"You can sort of get lost in Carlisle's study." He nodded with a small smile.
"That's certainly true." Edward then took a step forward and let one of his long fingers trace the purple arcs underneath my eyes. He studied them for a while before stepping back. "Do you want to check out the wildlife around here?" He asked with a wink. At the mention of hunting, my throat seemed to burst into flames. It had been ages since I had last hunted.
"Hey I'm up for that," came Emmett's booming reply. His dark eyes twinkled at me.
"I suppose I could join in to," Rosalie said, flicking her blonde tresses.
"You kids go on without us." Carlisle said with his signature smile. His pale arm squeezed Esme's shoulders. A thick hand grabbed my wrist and launched me unknowingly out of the door. I momentarily flew in the air, feeling it whip past me until my feet lithely found the floor. Emmett's hearty laughter exploded behind me but I felt Edward's cool hand on my shoulder. I turned to see his face full of fatherly concern until I flashed him a sparkling grin.
Emmett and Rosalie darted into smudges of pale skin as they disappeared into the shadowed forest. Edward laughed at them before racing to catch up. I took a deep breath and flung myself into a sprint. I was on Edward's heels in no time and he looked back at me with an impressed expression.
"That was quick, have you been practising?" He said as I pushed myself forward even more so we were level. I thought of Jacob's blinding speed and how I was nearly always able to run beside him.
"You could say so," I replied before sprinting in front of him with a carefree laugh. I didn't hold the position for long; I was no match for Edward's incredible speed. He flew past me effortlessly, so quickly that his features were barely visible.
I looked ahead and saw Emmett and Rosalie had slowed to a leisurely jog. Rosalie looked extremely cat like as she prowled forwards. Emmett, more easily described as a bear, stalked beside her. Edward's pace halted as he adopted a more hunting crouch as he moved. I copied him quietly, scanning our surroundings for some sort of food. Rosalie's head turned towards us, her hair flying behind her, and her golden eyes twinkled in such an excited manner they should have belonged to some young girl just about to set her hands upon the newest doll house in the shop.
"Up ahead, a herd of deer or something," she whispered quietly, her voice irresistibly captivating. Edward and I moved closer to the partners. We moved in a synchronised style, our backs curved and our fingers outspread. I was in the middle of the line, glancing at the two bodies beside me; Edward and Rosalie. Emmett let a low growl rumble out of his chest and Rosalie hissed back at him to keep quiet. Just then, I looked back ahead and saw the small herd of deer like animals. From here, it wasn't easy to see what breed they were but their scent overwhelmed us all. Of course, it wasn't as sweet as the many smells I had experienced in school, I thought as I closed my eyes, but that wasn't a good thing to be thinking of right now. The cold brush of Edward's fingers reminded me that as I stared back into his swirling eyes.
"Focus," he mouthed. Suddenly, Rosalie pounced.
Her body seemed to launch into the air soundlessly and she landed metres away from us onto one stray deer. It struggled once under her tiny weight and then beside me, Edward vanished. And then Emmett. I was the only one left to launch myself onto a deer. I saw one but it was quite far away; I would never make it in one leap. I ran forwards but unfortunately, I caught its eye. It darted away from me in a blind panic. It seemed years before it seemed to loose its fear fuelled speed.
I buried my head and got it over and done with. No matter how satisfying it was to dowse the fire in my throat, the thought of draining an animal was never worth thinking about. I pushed the lifeless deer away from me and wiped my mouth before standing up. Emmett was watching me with his usual wide grin, his teeth tainted slightly with blood.
"Full?" He asked. I swallowed once and thought for a moment. The fire was barely a sizzling flame now; I was done.
"Yes thank you," I replied, walking over to him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked behind him. Rosalie waltzed to his side in a flash, calm and perfect like always. Her lips were only a bloodstained red because of her glossy lipstick.
"Ready?" She asked, taking Emmett's large hand. His fingers closed around her delicate palm and they jogged ahead. I glanced around the forest for Edward but he was nowhere to be seen. Two cold hands suddenly squeezed my shoulders. Edward.
"How did you know?" He asked with a laugh. I whirled around to face him and his golden eyes were even lighter now. He traced the faint arcs underneath my eyes and smiled, "that's a lot better."
"Good."
We turned and raced childishly back to the house. I was surprised to see another beautiful being stood waiting for us.
"Bella!" I cheered, hugging her quickly before she and Edward kissed.
"Hello, hello, hello." She smiled. Edward then walked to her car and patted it as if to greet it too.
"Why hello you beauty." He whispered jokingly and Bella swatted his back.
"That's what you're supposed to say to me!"
"Well when you stand next to a model like this in comparison," Edward then turned and gestured to me, "it's quite difficult to admire you." He then winked and kissed her cheek. Bella's eyes twinkled at his affection, just as they always would, and I felt an unfamiliar sinking feeling in my stomach. Did my eyes do that when Jacob was with me? Did that unstoppable smile colour my face when he hugged me? Of course they did, I reminded myself, I was totally infatuated with Jacob and I had no control over it. Edward's head inclined in my direction and I flushed a scarlet pink. His teeth glinted as he grinned at me.
"Come on," Bella's hand found Edward's easily, "I want us to settle in." She pushed open the gate and we followed her quietly. "Ah," she said with a smile as we entered the living room, "perfect." Edward's eyes flickered to her face and I knew he had another definition of perfect. The sinking feeling swirled uncomfortably in my stomach.
"I'm going to go in my bedroom," I told them both quickly before rushing to the private confinements of my room.
I looked in my handbag and found a black notepad, the pages empty. I took out a pen and settled down beside my bed.
Dear Lily, I wrote in my most perfect handwriting. I couldn't help but smile at it smugly. I've just arrived in Mobile, Alabama. My home is lovely, tucked away in the woods just like our old house. My bedroom is nice too. Thanks to Alice, it's a girly lilac colour. I'm sure you'd like it very much.
I chewed the pen thoughtfully before continuing silently. Jacob is going to move up here with us. His townhouse is gorgeous, just across the road. I'm sure he'll miss his family and La Push, I do feel really bad. But it was his choice, he keeps telling me, nothing would be worse than being without me. Constantly romantic. I smiled, imagining Jacob reading the letter over my shoulder and scoffing loudly at my words. I miss you guys already, even Kia. I hope I make new friends at Murphy High School, though they'll never be as nice as you. I never really did thank you for taking me in so quickly. I don't think I would have coped very well in school without you, so thank you. I hope Jackson is ok, I could tell he was upset when I said I was leaving. Though, like every boy, he's never going to admit it. Look after him for me. In some ways, he felt like my brother. A normal brother. It was quite nice really. I never thought of him in any sort of romantic way, no matter what you think, but I do care for him a lot. So yes, take care of him.
Maybe you could come visit some day? I'm sure Bella and Edward will want to vacation places, they have done before. Then you could help me house-sit. Maybe you could even invite some other people. I'm sure that'll be really good.
Anyway, I'll write again soon when I have gone through my first day of Murphy. I'm so scared you won't believe. They don't know any of the Cullen's, I don't think, so how ever will I make friends? I'll just have to flash them my Cullen smile and hypnotise them. Sound good? Thought so.
Love you,
Renesmee Carlie Cullen.
I reread the letter carefully before folding it up and tucking it away in my bedside drawer. I'll send it some other time but right now, the sinking feeling had plummeted further down in my stomach and was unbearable. I took out my cell and dialled the number, holding my breath till he answered.
Eventually I heard, "Hello?"
"Jacob," I breathed thankfully.
"Hey Ness," his voice was quiet and I could hear the thundering of traffic in the background. He must have pulled over or something.
"How are you?"
"Sick of travelling," he laughed, "my bum hurts." I laughed too, thankful that he was in a good mood, as far as they went.
"How long will you be?"
"Oh I don't know," he sounded moody about it, "hours yet. It's so boring and I miss you."
"Do you miss La Push yet?" I asked, biting my lip as I did so. There was a long pause before I heard his gruff voice answer.
"Yes I do, not as much as I thought but I still do. Though it's so depressing down there because of Leah."
"What about her funeral?" I suddenly burst out. I would hate to be the reason Jacob couldn't go. In fact, I felt responsible enough to go myself. It made me nervous to think of the shrouded eyes that glared at me from bowed heads.
"It's in a couple of weeks," he said with a sigh, "Sue's planning it with extra care. Seth, well he's completely occupied with Rame at the moment though I'm sure if Sue called for it, he'd help. Sue asked me if I was going. Of course I agreed to, Leah was very important to me, no matter how irritating and downright spiteful that girl was."
"You'll fly out right?"
"Yeah, I'm not doing this journey ever again on a bike."
"I'll come with you." I said defiantly.
"Ness you don't have to do th-"
"I'll come with you." I repeated forcefully and I heard him take a deep breath.
"Thank you," he replied sadly, "I think I'll need you there."
I gripped the cell so tight as if I were gripping his hand. I wished I could be with him so I could hug him and tell him everything was ok. But it wasn't. Leah was gone, Jacob was leaving the pack and we had left Forks. Washington was going to be without vampires and a rightful Alpha.
My eyes suddenly widened. "There are no vampires," I burst out.
Jacob laughed. "What?"
"In Forks, there are no vampires."
"I suppose you're right," Jacob laughed again. But I was deadly serious.
"What will happen to Sam's pack? There's no vampires to protect against, not that there ever was."
"We talked about that," he said with understanding, "we're not entirely sure. A lot of the pack refuses to give up being a shape-shifter. They're going to keep phasing every now and then just to make sure."
"They want to stay a werewolf?" I asked with a little surprise. I knew a lot of the pack found containing their werewolf rages a difficult task. Surely they would want to rid of their werewolf brutality?
"Yeah, they've been through all of the pain and uncertainty and they don't want to just suddenly give it up. They don't think it's fair." It was a good enough answer, I thought. I would hate to go through a terrible part of my life then realise it was all for nothing. "And hey, who says being a werewolf can't be fun?"
"Plus they're pretty buff." I added with a grin that I knew Jacob would mirror on his side. I heard the familiar throaty sound of his chuckle. Automatically, I grinned even more just to acknowledge the fact he was a little bit happy.
"I'm going to have to take off," he said with a sigh, "if I'm going to get to yours in time."
"In time?" I asked curiously.
"Before I die," he joked and I laughed.
"Ah, right. Well, hurry then."
"Love you," Jacob's warm voice made me yearn for him even more. I didn't like not having something I wanted. Very badly indeed.
"I love you more." Before he could argue back, I snapped my cell shut with a sigh. If only vampires were magic then I could just teleport Jacob here. I grinned at the imaginative picture I was painting in my head until there was a gentle knock on my bedroom door.
"Renesmee?" Bella's head appeared from around the door. Her eyes were a beautiful golden colour, especially against the cool tone of her skin. She leant her head on her hand that was holding the door open. I blinked once at her. "Your father and I are going out. Is that ok?" I judged by the way she hadn't asked for my participation, that they were going to go in search of a good replica of their meadow.
"Sure thing."
"Alice is coming in a second with your stuff from Edward's car. She'll keep you company." I saw sympathy in Bella's eyes as she watched me, curled up on the floor, clutching my cell. Her smile faded for a second before she suddenly blinked, and it returned blindingly.
"Oh, great." I groaned but Bella laughed.
"You sound just like me," she winked one of her golden eyes. I smiled back and she vanished from my door, leaving no trace. I sighed once and sure enough, I heard Alice's bubbly voice chatting merrily away to my parents.
"Oh Re-nes-mee," Alice called in a singsong voice. I rolled my eyes and she flung open my door with a beaming smile. Her arms were full of boxes labelled with my name. I got to my feet and helped her plop them down on my bed. She niftily opened them all and examined them silently before standing back. The box with my ornaments was pretty empty, since Jacob had smashed a lot of them. I frowned; he had managed to break around ten with just one arm gesture. Stupid werewolf.
I picked up the three remaining ornaments and placed them on different shelves. I was definitely not going to put them on the window sill. Alice looked at the ornaments and frowned, just as I had done. "I thought you had more than that?" I pulled a face,
"I did."
Alice's lips pulled down further into a disapproving scowl as she held her hands up. "I'm not even going to ask."
"I think its best you don't."
Alice unfolded all of my clothes and had them all hung on separate hangers in a matter of minutes, in colour order of course. She didn't do it silently though; there were many tuts and frowns as she repeatedly reminded me,
"You never wear this. I've never seen you wear it! It's so nice."
Eventually, her mutterings faded into the darkness and I felt my brain search itself for Jacob memories. I was slowly becoming more and more miserable without him.
I worked silently, stacking empty boxes in one another and throwing the clothes into piles for Alice to search and tidy. I was pretty sure she knew I wasn't listening but that didn't make her stop. I was sort of glad though, being in a silent room might have driven me insane. "Done," I heard her announce. I blinked at her, not comprehending, until she gestured to my full wardrobe. She eyed it with a slight frown. "It's a little squished in areas," she examined my clothes closely, "but nothing drastic." Alice turned and smiled, "I think we're good to go."
"Thanks," I mumbled.
Alice stared at me, her eyes scorching into my brain. I scowled and looked away; it was bad enough when Edward did that.
She sighed, flopping onto my bed. "Ok, spill, what's the matter with you?"
I glanced up at her. "What do you mean?" I knew my off-hand tone hadn't gone well with her; she rolled her eyes and continued to glare at me.
"I don't like being mean to you, Renesmee, but sometimes…well you do ask for it."
"You're not being mean." I stood up and looked out of my window. "I'm just a little…faraway today."
"Hmm, I would never of guessed." Her sweet voice worked well with sarcasm, to my dislike of course.
"Don't start, please," I said to her over my shoulder, "I don't need this."
"Need what exactly?" Alice didn't wait for an answer. "I know you miss him, I don't know what I'd do if Jasper left me, but you can't mope about like this. We're trying our hardest to take your mind of things Renesmee but you're not making it a walk in the park."
"I know."
"So just try and pull yourself together, for the sake of all of us, not just you." Her cool hand rested on my shoulder. "You can love Jacob as much as you want but don't rely so much on him." I flinched at her words; it was as if she were preparing for me to split up with Jacob. She misunderstood, withdrawing her hand quickly from my shoulder. I heard her glide a little way away from me and pick up the empty cardboard boxes. "I'll leave you to it then."
I nodded. "Thanks."
I heard her leave, the door shutting quietly behind her. It was all I needed; closure. The tears cascaded down my cheeks like a wild waterfall and I had no intention of stopping them. It hurt to feel this way, to miss someone yet know that you've never missed someone like this before and it creates this bubble of vulnerability around you. I hated it.
It grew dark. The moon was barely visible under the clouds, a sight I was familiar with, and the rain had begun spitting a little again. I was tempted to leave my window open, in hope that a large, muscled, tanned boy would clamber in and wake me up. It wasn't a very likely event but I left the window open an inch just in case.
I changed into some pyjamas and clambered tiredly into my bed. The pillow was still damp from my salty tears; a horrible reminder of my feelings earlier. I hated the feeling of it on my skin so I shifted my position and leant against the cool solid wall instead.
Bella and Edward had said goodnight already, both of their eyes full with sympathy and worry. I didn't like to cause them those emotions. It made the feeling in my stomach even worse. And it was all because I was missing one person.
One, lone, solitary person.
He was causing me the grief. But I could not blame him; it wasn't his fault we had such a strong connection. It wasn't his fault I had made myself so dependent on him when I was at home. I flung my head into my hands with a weary sigh. I just needed sleep. I needed to close my eyes and sink into more peaceful dreams. My eyes closed as I lifted my head again, resting against the wall. The smooth texture of it was comforting but too cold. My head slid down the wall and hit the pillow with a muffled thud. I gripped the duvet and curled it around me tightly, just so my body would start to feel a little too hot for comfort.
It must have been a few minutes of complete motionless silence before I fell asleep.