Bite Your Tongue
by DarkHonda aka Tal
Chapter Twenty-One / Epilogue?
She rarely thought about what would have happened if she hadn't known him; she was young and carefree when she met him, the only trouble she knew was when a demon attacked Mariner Bay and her friends had to take it out. She was so innocent then, still looking for a knight on a shining skateboard or a prince on a white BMX and they would ride to the sunset together. She would never have admitted that then, not telling anyone what she secretly hoped for, a man that would sweep her off her feet rather than just her rollerblades.
Instead, she got him;
He might have looked like a prince with his dirty blond hair, liquid chocolate eyes and this heart-warming smile, but he was far from it. Being evil for twenty out of his twenty one years of life must have had something to do with the lack of certain fairytale qualities.
Only soon after she met him, she had come to realize that she didn't want prince charming. Having her Titanium Ranger in his grey spandex was more than enough. He might have been too broody, stubborn and somewhat doubtful to be a prince or even a knight, but he was also very tender, understanding, easy-to-talk-to and very loving than any prince or knight in existence. He made her happy and she made him laugh and sometimes they were too into each other that they could ignore the world, pretending to be the only two people in the universe whether they were walking in the park or mountain-climbing near Stone Canyon.
"Ready to go?" Ryan entered their room, interrupting her thoughts. A smile immediately sprung on Kelsey's face and she rose on her feet from their bed. Ryan offered her his hand and she took it as they left the Aquabase for a walk on the beach.
Things were a little awkward at first since they've started well, dating; she had to admit it was strange for her to get used to this new 'No-Illyria' condition. Then, she knew Ryan had to adjust, too, he was pretty new to this whole boyfriend thing after being Illyria's puppy for long months. Somehow, they've managed through the awkwardness stage rather well, she had to admit.
Now, after a few months of being officially 'together', everything just flowed around. Spending time together wasn't awkward and just comfortable, it was fun and interesting, and Kelsey looked forward to times where she and Ryan could spend some time alone, laughing, talking or just being quiet together. It didn't matter as long as she got to be there with him.
There were things she helped him to understand, emotions; but what she most loved about him that even when he was still discovering himself, he helped her to understand herself. He taught her and she taught him and there were things they were bound to learn together, making love and adjusting to living together. She loved it all.
"You're quiet." He noted when they've finally exited the Aquabase and started to walk on the sandy shore. The sun was just beginning to set and the skies were a mixture of fading red, pink, light blue and hot orange.
"Just thinking." She said quietly, looking at the horizon; the patch of shore and sand they were strolling upon was considered Aquabase property, in a way. There were no civilians allowed near and they had the entire shore to themselves, she noticed and smiled.
"We have the beach to ourselves." She said with a smile.
"Hm.." He agreed. Kelsey laughed.
"Race ya!" She called and let go on his hand, bolting forward as fast as she could. A few moments later she looked back, seeing Ryan walking still, not running so she stopped.
"Ryan!" She called, a bit outraged, but Ryan laughed and started to run.
Kelsey squealed and started running again, but the gap between the two was a lot smaller and in seconds Ryan ran past her and stopped a few steps ahead in front of her.
"You're not a match for me, Kelsey." He smirked smugly.
"We'll see who wins race when we're on rollerblades." She muttered lowly knowing he would catch that, her lips forming into a slight pout.
He did and laughed.
"Shoes off?" He asked and Kelsey smiled.
"Yes." She agreed and the pair took off their shoes and socks, leaving them on the stranded shore, while allowing themselves to walk in the water, right where the water grazed the sand. Ryan took Kelsey's hand.
"So… tell me how your day has been?" Ryan asked sweetly.
"I woke up in the morning and you were there, I went to breakfast and you were there, I went to training and you were there… Do you sense a pattern?" She raised an eyebrow at him.
He chuckled lightly.
"My day has been pretty amazing." She smiled and turned to him slightly, stopping, which naturally made Ryan stop, too. He frowned slightly at her.
"Hug?" She asked and Ryan's frown melted into a grin and he let go of her hand, wrapping his arms around her as she asked. Kelsey held him close, sending her arms to make sure he's close, and her head lying on his chest comfortably.
"How was your day, Ryan Mitchell?" She teased lightly, his chest rumbled a little.
"I love seeing you every day." He murmured, his nose buried in her hair, he made her blush slightly. She knew she should have gotten used to it a while ago, but it refused to sink in, knowing he was hers. She then felt him shifting a little and his lips came in contact with her temple. She closed her eyes, giving herself to feeling his lips planting little kisses all over her face; her eyes, her nose, her cheeks and her forehead, but not touching her lips. She smiled.
"When this war is over, would you come with me?" His voice asked in a whisper and Kelsey opened her eyes, staring up into his.
"Where?"
"Everywhere. I want to experience this world and I want you to come with me." He explained and Kelsey smiled and nodded.
"I'd love to." He grinned and leaned his forehead on hers, their eyes locked for a long time. His eyes always told her so much and right now, he was a little hesitant, he wanted to tell her something. She hoped her eyes conveyed her openness and willingness to hear whatever he had to say. She knew she should wait for him: he never kept anything inside if he could tell her.
"Kelsey?" He spoke her name, pulling his head back a little. She tilted her head, watching him silently, waiting. "I want to be with you forever."
She wanted that, too, but couldn't help but wonder if he knew what he said actually meant.
"Forever is a long time, are you sure you're up for it?" She stared into his eyes, seeing nothing but love, confidence and hope.
"Forever is not enough if I can spend it with you." He was serious. Kelsey hesitated for a few moments; she loved Ryan but this was a big step and Ryan was still learning his emotions.
Kelsey looked away from his eyes, contemplating what to say, how to react. This was a delicate situation and she didn't want to hurt or disappoint Ryan. Maybe she was bound to either way, she wasn't sure.
"Hey." Ryan gently lifted her chin, making her look at him; he had the softest expression on his face, Kelsey buried her face in his chest, hiding. "Tell me why." He asked.
"You're still struggling to understand yourself, what if you find out this is not what you really want? You know it can happen." Kelsey's voice was muffles by his shirt.
"Would I risk hurting you by asking you to accept a promise I don't intend to keep?" His voice was delicate, soft.
"No." She whispered.
"Would I ask anything from you when I don't know exactly what I feel?"
"No." She breathed.
"Would I repeat my mistakes like a fool and misunderstand any emotion I have for you?"
She shook her head.
"Tell me why you're afraid of this." His arms slid around her again, pulling her closer. She breathed in his calming scent mixed with the ocean's air, he was right, she was afraid. He meant so much to her, she couldn't afford to lose him.
"I don't know." She said and took a deep breath. "I just don't want to lose you, it's a too big of a commitment to make right now. I'm being difficult, I'm sorry." She bit her bottom lip.
"It's okay, My Kelsey, I understand." He whispered and kissed her forehead, he glanced down at her, his eyes sparkling reassuringly. He smiled at her and kissed her lips gently; she responded slowly, savoring any second of his warm, soft lips on hers. She felt lost in wonderland when he kissed her like that, like this was the last kiss, it was desperate and passionate. Sometimes she really hated the fact humans needed to breathe.
"I still want you to have this." Panting slightly, Kelsey watched Ryan pulling a silver colored ring from his pocket. He held it closer to her, showing her a yellow gemstone that decorated the simple band.
"Oh, Ryan, you shouldn't have." Kelsey blushed furiously as Ryan gently took her hand and slid the ring to her appropriate finger in her left hand.
"I'll wait, Kelsey, but I want you to have this ring. It's my promise to you that my forever is going to be with you." He spoke softly, he intertwined their fingers and kissed the back of her hand. "The gemstone is Sapphire and the metal, Titanium." He added.
Kelsey was speechless. She stared at her ringed hand and at Ryan a few times, shocked and surprised. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes wide, but this meant… She refused to acknowledge the meaning of such a step, she couldn't believe this was happening to her, her! Kelsey Winslow, the tomboy!
"Kelsey?" Ryan frowned considerably, Kelsey blinked twice and jumped on him, burying her face in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Taking another huge sniff of his scent and letting his calmed heartbeats to calm her racing heartbeats down.
"Thank you, Ryan." Her lips whispered on his skin.
"You're welcome, My Kelsey." She could hear the smile in his voice and shyly looked up at him. He looked positively amused, but she didn't care because he wrapped his arms around her again and squeezed her closer to him.
"I love you. Thank you." She murmured to him, not really knowing what to say anymore. Words couldn't describe the way she was feeling, that storm that was thundering in her body.
"I love you, too, Kelsey." He kissed her head and she sighed happily and pulled back a little, suddenly noticing the blue-purple shade of the skies.
"It's almost dark." She said quietly. "We've missed the sunset." She pouted slightly, taking Ryan's hand and started walking again.
Ryan chuckled.
"There is always tomorrow." He commented with a smile.
A/N: This didn't give you a sense of closure, did it? So I'm thinking of posting the final piece that takes place four years after this one. It's really rough and very unlike the Ryan and Kelsey you've read so far: they're older and have been together for a long time… well, you'll see all about it tomorrow. Or today, if I feel like it. Anyway, Review!