AN-
SOS! I'm drowning! Drowning in school work that is. Homework, in ART! Gahhh! The entire staff, save a few teachers that I like, should go die in a hole!
Enjoy the chapter, hopefully I get off my lazy ass to actually re watch the episodes while writing this.
To say traveling with Hidan and Kakuzu was boring was an understatement. I was beyond bored! The only excitement I had was when we captured the Jinchuuriki and I almost died…
"Are we at the temple yet?" I complained receiving a dirty look from Kakuzu. I had been complaining for the past few hours nonstop. Hidan was enjoying the torture Kakuzu was going through though.
"We're almost there." stated Kakuzu in a monotone.
"You've been saying that for the last like hour!" I whined as Hidan snickered.
"We'll be there when we get there." stated Kakuzu. I sighed and turned to Hidan.
"Carry me." I stated and Hidan allowed me to climb up onto his back.
"You've been a lazy ass bitch lately." muttered Hidan. I snorted.
"Because I haven't had to do anything from my injuries." I explained and Hidan rolled his eyes but accepted the answer. Our walk continued.
"We're here." stated Kakuzu a long time later, shaking Hidan and I from our glaring contest. Hidan dropped me on my ass receiving a few choice words from me. "Ungrateful asshole, you'll live because of me!"
"You can walk now bitch." decided Hidan, I looked forward.
"Fuck my life." I snapped seeing the problem.
Stairs.
"Itami, don't whine. Let's go." snapped Kakuzu and I slowly got up and followed the duo. It took forever for us to get up there, I swear!
"I'm just going to rest for a moment." I told the duo, they continued without me. I watched them disappear over the top of the stairs and followed after regaining the breath I had lost climbing the evil stairs of doom. I came up during Hidan and Kakuzu's conversation.
"Killing a priest is a one way ticket to hell." commented Hidan, pulling out his scythe.
"Even hell runs on money, I'll be fine." decided Kakuzu as Hidan went ahead. I stood next to the greedy miser.
"I love that quote." I decided, Kakuzu chuckled at me.
"Seriously! Its badass, even hell runs on money, fucking awesome." I decided as I watched Hidan make a few bloody sacrifices.
"This doesn't gross you out?" asked an amused Kakuzu.
"Nope, I'm perfectly fine with it." I replied as Kakuzu stepped in to help with Chiriku.
When that was over we got to haul Chiriku's dead body to the exchange point. Since Hidan was a dumb ass, he only watched the fight with Shikamaru, so when I went to follow Kakuzu to the mens bathroom, I got a comment.
"Oi, bitch, why're you going in the mens bathroom?" called Hidan, I turned to Hidan.
"Idiot, it's the exchange point!" I snapped, Hidan frowned and followed me to see if I was lying or not. We went in and the smell was fucking horrible!
"It smells like piss in here!" I muttered to Hidan who nodded in agreement as the exchange dude looked through his book.
"Eh, creeper beeper!" I muttered, hiding behind Hidan as another guy came into the room off of where the screen was. He was staring at me! Like I was some kind of new species or something… although with his ugly face I don't think any woman would go within five steps of him… so I could be something new to him…
"I'm taking Itami outside!" yelled Hidan grabbing my arm and pulling me out. I grinned, time for plan A to commence! Of course, if this went anything close to as planned then it would go much more smoothly than the One Tail, however Hidan's worse than Deidara. So, I'm taking a pretty big gamble here.
"Fresh air! Oh glorious fresh air!" I called as I feel onto the steps next to Hidan who also looked relieved to be out of the shit hole.
"So bitch, when are we going to fight?" asked Hidan. I chuckled.
"Sooner than you think." I stated ominously, Hidan just snorted.
"So bitch, what's going on with you and Deidara?" asked Hidan, I stopped my chuckling and started choking on air.
"Fuck what?" I asked, Hidan snorted at my words.
"You and Deidara, something has to be going on there." prodded Hidan. I poked his chest right above his pendant.
"Asshole, nothing's going on there." I snapped, Hidan merely snorted when we heard footsteps. I scooted away as Hidan turned.
"Kakuzu what the hell took you-" Hidan jumped back to avoid the shuriken and I put my hand into my clay pouch, ready to be ambushed by sneaky ninjas.
"Got you!" I heard someone, Kotetsu, say as I was scooped into someone's arms.
"Ah! Let go bastard!" I yelled as I pulled out a clay spider and threw it into Kotetsu's face.
"Izumo, I need help!" called Kotetsu as I squirmed while violently smashing my fist repeatedly into any part of him I could get.
"Hey get your hands of the bitch!" called Hidan as I was thrown, literally thrown much like when fighting Gaara, to Asuma who held me down. Kotetsu and Izumo took Hidan's distraction as yelling at Asuma and I, to stab him with the large knives.
"You fucktard! Look what you did! I told you to listen to me when I explained what was going to happen and now, you're getting internal damage!" I snapped, Hidan glared at me.
"Shut up bitch!" he snapped moving around a bit.
"This hurts like hell! This is no small injury, this fucking hurts!" yelled Hidan irritably as he moved around. I sighed and turned to Asuma who was holding my arms behind my back and had an arm around my neck.
"Hello Asuma, you might want to leave now. I can guarantee, someone will die." I stated ominously.
"We're taking you back to the Leaf, Itami I believe your name is." explained Asuma.
"Well your plan to take out one member, grab me, and get the other isn't going to work." I announced.
"You screwed up on the order!" cackled Hidan.
"Hidan's immortal." I chuckled; they all looked mortified at this revelation.
"You all have no chance and I know that at least one of you will die unless you run away right now, I'll even hold Hidan back for a little bit." I offered.
"We're taking you back with us, your knowledge is too valuable!" argued Asuma as a loud explosion came announcing Kakuzu's appearance.
"Whoopee, Kakuzu's here!" I cheered sarcastically before bashing my head back into Asuma's. Although being a ninja, I did nothing to him other than annoy him and possibly break his nose, not that he cared.
"Kakuzu assistance!" I yelled to the miser who just stood by Hidan ready to fight. Izumo and Kotetsu had jumped away and Shikamaru was standing by them.
"Itami, stop making a show." scolded Kakuzu; I gave him a blank look.
"Motherfucking bastard, help me!" I snapped, Kakuzu ignored me. The fucker.
"Oi save the bitch and stay out of the fight so I can take care of them!" ordered Hidan and Kakuzu jumped over at us. Asuma jumped back, nearly choking me to death, and dodged.
"Kakuzu just use your string thing!" I ordered. Kakuzu ignored me and I yell in frustration. I have been yelling a lot lately, I blame stress…
Why do I have stress?
Well, the Akatsuki boys are idiots, hot idiots but idiots, save a few intelligent ones. I'm being held hostage, and I am also in a dangerous situation that has a high chance of death for me since I have like no ninja powers, or ones that I can use freely.
"Fuck!" I snapped as my head was yanked.
"Fucker release me!" I snapped kicking backwards successfully hitting my target, you should know where that target is. Of course Asuma let go of me and I turned around doing a very impressive split that had me kick Asuma almost with my leg vertically. I then fled to Kakuzu so that Asuma wouldn't have the chance to retaliate, ninja vs. girl, girl not win. And I am that girl.
The rest of the fight from there went similarly to the anime; of course I just had to step in to avoid having to listen to Hidan bitch about his head getting cut off.
"Oi! Stop fooling around you shithead!" I called as Shikamaru began to get him out of the circle of Jashin.
"Bitch! Why didn't you warn me?!" shouted Hidan.
"Asshole I did!" I yelled, Hidan glared at me as Asuma tested out that he was no longer part of Hidan's Jutsu.
"And off with his head." I laughed as Asuma's blade sliced through Hidan's neck, splattering blood, and ultimately making Hidan shut up in shock.
"One down." stated Asuma turning around to face us.
"Not quite, Hidan stop being a fucktard and get serious!" I snapped.
"Bitch shut the hell up!" Asuma, Shikamaru, Kotetsu, and Izumo gawked. I almost laughed, almost. It was hilarious though. I love moments like these where I can goof off.
"Kakuzu, could you pretty please bring my body over here and sew it back on?" pleaded Hidan in a whiny voice. I walked over to his head and gripped it by his hair.
"Ouch! Bitch I said body not head!" screeched Hidan.
"Your heads lighter because its empty." I commented, Kakuzu snorted and I bet he was smirking under his mask. I brought over Hidan's head and handed it off to Kakuzu before picking up Hidan's headband and pendant. I stuffed them in my pocket and watched, fascinated, as Kakuzu sewed Hidan's head back on.
"Alright!" cheered Hidan as his body was moveable again. Then it went much like the anime with Kakuzu owning Kotetsu and Izumo.
"Hidan, wrap it up!" I called as Kakuzu finished it up.
"NO!" shouted Shikamaru, slowly running pointlessly to Hidan. Hidan simply stabbed himself through the heart, I laughed at the sadness. Call me heartless, I don't care bitches.
"Well I'm bored, watch out for the black sword in the crows Kakuzu!" I called walking over to Hidan who shielded me from the birds. Leader called, obviously wanting us to get moving, and Hidan complained.
"Itami, use your chakra." ordered Kakuzu.
"Wait Kakuzu I'm not that good at it yet!" I shouted, but they were already moving.
"Jashin damn it!" I screeched, greattt. It was just me, and ninja who were not on my side.
I'm doomed.
AN-
I wrote this over the course of 4 days, and I didn't watch the episodes because I'm too lazy. By the way, I'm really behind on the anime, and I just watched Minato and Kushina die, it was sad. I am also now watching Kisame die, also very sad.
We had breast cancer day in school, all the teachers wore pink(I wore a skull shirt and got some dirty looks from a few teachers) and my Spanish teacher, Mr. H, whined that the office ladies were mean because they said he looked like a stuffed sausage, they weren't lying. I laughed when he said it, he called me mean too. I continued my laughing.
Ah yes, the other day I got out of 1st period algebra because of school presidential elections. My bud K was running but some bitchy, whiny, fucker won. I happen to greatly dislike the winner, like really dislike her and every time I see her, I want to fucking punch her in the face. She pisses me off that much! Anyway, K was bugging me to put her in the story, so she's in my authors note. She should feel loved.
I'm extremely sad right now… in the beginning of October I told my dad I wanted to be Konan, and then last night he brought it up. I had specifically told him in the beginning of the month that we had to get it online. However now it'll take too long and my dad's mad at me and I'm mad at him and my mum's ready to cry because we both snap at her since she tries to get us hot headed people to calm down. Now I can't be Konan, although my dad already ordered a Konan wig, so what can I be using a Konan wig? I was thinking of taking my Harry potter cloak and sticking on some red clouds, however I don't want to ruin that cloak. So what do you my lovely readers suggest I do? If there are any stores that have Naruto costumes I will be a very happy person.
Q-Alright! So, what do you thinks going to happen? Is Itami going to somehow go ninja on them? Or is she going to get her ass kicked? I love detailed answers.
A-Well fuck, what was the question? Ohhh, well that can't be answered can it. I basically just asked the same question over again…
Sayonara my lovelies.