CHAPTER 21
The three got separated and each took a different direction. Jessa was taken in the prisons of the west wing of the base and, to her big surprise, she found Luke there waiting for her.
«My God Luke, what are you doing here? I hoped you'd managed to escape».
«General Taydril and all the others knew that we were infiltrates from the beginning, they played a little bit with us, then they unmasked us.» The Jedi Knight calmly answered her.
«What, you mean it wasn't Han's fault? Who, by the way, has all my sympathy…» She murmured quietly.
«No, it wasn't his fault. Someone sent from Hapes had already warned Taydril of our arrival, at least this is what I managed to read in his mind, but I don't think they know that I'm a Jedi».
«And they don't know about Leia either?» Jessa asked hopeful.
«I don't know unfortunately… We must hurry, get out of here and warn the others. What is the last news you received?»
«The starships are hidden in a swap place near some baki's plants storage sites, I just hope that the Imperials won't find them before we do. Unfortunately I lost all contact after they discovered us.» She said with a hopeless expression.
«It's the same, we'll make it, you'll see!» Luke already had a plan to break out and exposed it to Jessa, waiting for the best moment to strike.
xxx
«Here you are! Now get back to your droid!»
Some soldiers lifted Han up bodily then threw him without too many ceremonies in the cell with Leia. They left immediately, activating the laser bars and leaving the two prisoners in isolation in the east wing of the base, exactly on the opposite side of Luke and Jessa.
«My droid?» Han smiled when he managed to bring his cellmate into focus: apparently those stupid imperials had misunderstood their roles. «Hey guys, there's been a mistake here. This is not my droid!» He shouted to make himself heard by the guards, the bruised ribs though didn't let him burst out laughing as he would have liked, so he tried to sit up in order to breathe better.
«Just shut up for once in your life, look what they did to you…» Leia approached him carefully, observing him.
During those couple of hours of special treatment they had probably beaten him properly, but luckily he hadn't lost his sense of humour: «After having experimented the carbonite nothing scares me anymore sweetheart, it's just a bruised nose and some damaged ribs, but I've been through worse.» He told her with a bold smile.
He did it again, Leia thought. He had called her "sweetheart" again and after all she didn't mind, but only if he was the one doing it.
She helped him sit up then plunged into the silence of their cell, trying to find the words to explain what she felt she should have told him a while ago, even if she still didn't have clear to what point she was willing to go.
«Come on, spit it out!» Han had suddenly interrupted her thinking and she didn't understand the meaning of his words.
«What do you mean?»
«You're too silent. You're thinking about how much of an idiot I am because I made the plan blow up, aren't you?» He asked her, convinced.
«No, that's not what I was thinking …» She answered him almost tenderly. «Anyway I can't blame you for anything that has happened because I was going to do the same thing… just aiming a little bit lower!»
The pirate laughed in spite of the pain at his ribs, he knew well what damages that little and apparently harmless creature could provoke.
«Right, but now we're in trouble, do you know where they brought Jessa?» He asked her regaining his composure.
«She's with Luke, they're locked in the opposite part of the base, but I know that my brother has already thought about how to escape. They don't suspect that he's a Jedi.»
«Very well, then we just have to wait for Luke and Jessa to come and pick us up, in the meantime we can relax a little bit, what do you say, Princess?» Han entwined his fingers and placed his hands behind his head so that he was more comfortable against the wall.
«It's impossible to relax with you!» And it was clear that Leia meant in every sense. «Anyway they'll never come pick us up: I gave Luke the order to warn the highest exponents of the New Republic about the imminent danger which hangs over the Galaxy as soon as possible, he mustn't lose useless time because of me.»
«Because of you no, but because of me yes dammit! I don't have any intention to sacrifice myself for the New Republic! Not another time. I'm still feeling the consequences of the first time!» Han suddenly got up with unexpected vigor given his conditions and approached her.
«I don't know what you're talking about.» Leia lied. In reality that was the speech she had wanted to deal with, but it seemed that he had found the courage to start first.
«Really? It's not clear to you? Weird, you've been the direct responsible, is it possible that you don't remember?» He turned his back on her and went near the bars in order to study the position of the controls to switch off the energy generator.
«We both took the decision, or at least I took my part, where were you?» She reminded him. That definitely wasn't the way she had thought they would have faced the topic!
«You decided for me too and it's the same thing you're doing now. But I want to be free to decide my destiny and to choose what is worth sacrificing myself for, I don't understand why you always have to stand in the way!» From the floor of the cell he picked up some fragments of cement, fruit of who knows what kind of tortures towards the precedent occupants of that narrow hole.
«Being free… that's what you've always wanted and that's why I let you go, even if it cost me a lot.» Maybe admitting her own pains could make him see reason.
«I can imagine!» Han took off his jacket and did some launching trial in order to try and hit the controls' panel.
«You can imagine?» She got angry in front of his irony. «You can't imagine a damn thing! You totally disappeared without even giving me the time to explain and I am still sorry because of this, but I realize that it's impossible to talk with you like with normal people!» Now she was looking at him, furious, with flaming eyes.
«Sorry princess.» He told her pushing her away in order to not hit her by mistake. «What should I have done in your opinion? Did I have to stay there looking while you were marrying another man? You already had Luke as best man, of what use could I have been by then?» He gave her a bitter smile, then turned again towards the opposite side. «Believe me, it was better this way. My life has sucked since then, but at least now I have the satisfaction to hear you say that anyway you remember me for something: the sorrow I gave you!»
She approached him again menacingly, how could he be so insensitive? He kept on throwing pieces of cement without even deigning to look her in the face.
«Yes, I was sorry because I, unlike you, have faith in some values and when I'm not able to respect them I feel guilty. But in the end why am I wasting my time trying to explain this to you, you live just for yourself!» She exclaimed opening her arms, exasperated by his stubbornness.
Han's aim was becoming more and more precise, nevertheless he had to make some economy because the material at his disposal was rapidly running out. He started to break the biggest fragments stomping on them with his feet and undoubtedly that discussion was giving him a greater strength and conviction in doing such an operation.
«Just because I don't believe in the same things in which you do, doesn't mean that I don't have values.» He said purposely avoiding her gaze.
«Oh really?» She fixed him with an interested air, crossing her arms on her chest. «Then illustrate them to me, since they're escaping me right now. You saved my life on the Death Star in order to obtain the reward, you entered in the Alliance in order to make an impression on me and had left the New Republic when I had nothing to offer you anymore…»
«Right!» This time the smuggler interrupted his attempts to look at her right in the eyes. If that was really what she thought, she hadn't understood anything of him. «And still it's not clear enough?»
«The only clear thing is that you don't believe in the New Republic.» The ardor of the chat had brought her nearer to him and now only the height difference separated them.
«But it's so simple…» Han shook his head in disbelief.
«Explain then!»
«It's you.» He burst out tapping his index on her forehead and this time Leia was forced to step back.
«I… what?» She said confused.
«You're my New Republic, you're the only thing I believed in.» He stopped for an instant, weighing the meaning of such important words. «And by losing you I lost everything. Is it clear for you now? Could it be any simpler? I hoped that by going away and freeing you of my uncomfortable presence at least you would have been happy, but I was wrong.» He hesitated a moment. «Seeing you again and understanding that my sacrifice has been completely useless made me feel like a loser, even more than when I realized that I wasn't part of your plans for the future anymore.» He sadly admitted.
Once he closed his mouth he regretted what he had just confessed to her: like he had told Luke, he didn't want her pity or her sympathy. But on Leia's face there wasn't any trace of pity or sympathy, her expression was unreadable.
She had never suspected such deep feelings from him, not after all this time. She had been selfish at just thinking about her own pain and she had remained wordless thinking that, nevertheless, that was the most beautiful love declaration she'd ever heard.
For a few but very long moments they stood looking at each other without knowing what to do. In the end Han turned again to go on with his task. He had hoped that she would have opened to him, that she would have told him that it hadn't been just a brief adventure, but apparently he was wrong once more. And yet that light that had crossed those beautiful black eyes… how could it be just sympathy?
The noise of the rocks against the panel of controls kept going on regularly, Han had managed to switch off some lights, but unfortunately he still hadn't hit the button to open the cells and now he was so upset that he couldn't even remotely get near his target. His hand wasn't stable anymore, it was slightly trembling.
Leia had remained paralyzed looking at him, thousands of words were crowding her head, but none of them managed to become a concrete sound until, totally out of control, this came out: «I'm sorry».
He stopped, like something had hit him in the depth of his soul. He nodded and then, throwing another fragment, said: «Okay, now we're even again, what do you say about putting a good rock on this? I'm too old for such things!»
To tell the truth they weren't even yet. She had apologized, but still hadn't expressed everything she should: he thought he had been dumped because she didn't love him anymore, he thought that she was in love with Isolder and he didn't know how wrong he was.
«Yes, but this isn't all…» Now or never, Leia thought.
«This isn't all? Good God, what else could there be?» He turned smiling at her, relieved. His burden had been discharged and now he felt much better.
When he looked at her in the eyes, though, he returned serious and felt his heartbeat accelerate. Could it be that the instinct which had always guided him was so dazzled by her?
I know. His mind kept on repeating. I know! Come on tell me Leia, please…
«I…» She wanted to make him understand what she felt without encouraging him though. The past was past and, even if she had to forcefully recognize that the flame of love wasn't totally extinguished, she couldn't allow herself to ruin everything she had built up till then, with the sacrifice of both of them.
Han threw a piece of cement without even aiming, his gaze was fixed on her. He could read her thoughts without having Luke's amazing powers and this time he was sure that there couldn't be any mistake of interpretation in what she felt.
I know. I know what you're going to say! He looked at her lips which had remained slightly opened, he was just waiting for those words and then…
In that moment the laser bars switched off and just the emergency lights remained alight: apparently the last piece thrown by the smuggler had hit the target.
The two turned unbelieving to the open entrance of their cell, then returned to look at each other in a questioning way.
Even if he wished more than anything to deepen the topic, he decided that it was better to take advantage of that unexpected stroke of luck: «Come with me Your Highness, our sacrifice for the New Republic can wait.» He faithfully smiled at her.
This said, he grabbed her hand and ran into the corridors of the detention side, he didn't have the faintest idea of where to go, but after all he still was the wizard of improvisation and he would surely think of something.