Chapter 21 Fifth Year: Occlumency

The wind rustled through the trees as Harry stared up, reluctantly, towards the towers of Hogwarts castle. The Christmas holidays had passed all too quickly and for the first time Harry was truly dreading returning to the halls of the magical school. They had arrived back at the school gates via the stomach turning Knight Bus, which was just careening off around the corner. The Order was still worried that Voldemort and the Death Eaters would be lurking around every corner trying to get to Harry. The result of the mass of paranoia was that the most unusual method of arriving back to school had been decided as being the safest.

Now that he was here, back at the school which had been home and was now poisoned with Umbridge, Harry found himself wishing that he could just vanish. Taking a deep breath Harry began to trudge up the drive, following Hermione and the Weasley's.

As they walked, Ron wondering aloud what was for dinner, Harry turned the contents of Merlin's letter over in his mind. So he was going to have lessons with Snape to help him prevent Voldemort from seeing his thoughts.

Not only was it messed up that Voldemort was reading his mind with some old sorcery, but now he had to have extra lessons with Snape. Harry was determined to have a word with Merlin prior to the start of these secret Occlumency lessons, if there was any way that he could have a different teacher...sure Dumbledore or Merlin himself would be a better choice than Snape.

Harry gritted his teeth and wondered if he would have time to find Merlin before dinner. Glancing up at the sky told Harry everything he needed to know, there was no way he was going to be able to find and talk to Merlin before dinner. As it was they seemed to be running late, the sun was already dipping below the horizon and the lights of the castle set a brilliant glow across the lake.

Dumping their stuff in the Entrance Hall with the other luggage Harry hurriedly caught up with his friends, he would have to deal with Merlin later.

Thankfully Harry didn't have to wait long to talk with Merlin. It was almost as though the sorcerer had pre-empted Harry's disgust at the teaching arrangements because as Harry was making his way up towards Gryffindor tower with Ron and Hermione Merlin jumped out at them from behind a tapestry.

"Hello you three, good to see you back. How is your father Ron?" Merlin beamed at them, leaning his shoulder against the wall beside the tapestry.

Ron blinked rapidly as he recovered from the shock of Merlin's sudden appearance. "Er...he's fine thanks Emrys."

Hermione frowned sternly at their friend. "How have things been here, you didn't say in your letter?"

The smile slipped from Merlin's face slightly. "It's been alright, without students here Umbridge hasn't got much to pick at. She's finally gotten around to putting Hagrid on probation though and she's been watching me like a hawk. It's lucky I know the corridors here so well, but as it is I really can't stick around long."

"She's suspicious." Harry groaned. The last thing they needed was for Umbridge to be suspicious of Merlin, particularly when she actually had a reason to be. "Is that why you aren't teaching me the mind reading magic thing?"

"Yeah, that and I'm not sure how well I actually understand how it works." Merlin admitted, running his fingers through his hair and glancing down the corridor.

"You mean you don't know how to do it?" Hermione asked.

"I can do it...sort of. Like pretty much everything it's a bit different to the way you do things. But it's something I do automatically. It would be like teaching you how to think." Merlin shook his head. "Dumbledore seems pretty confident that Snape will teach you well enough."

"But Snape, he hates me." Harry grumbled, "And come to think of it, I hate him too."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter, there aren't many people who know what it is that Snape's going to be teaching you and we want it to stay that way. You need to learn this Harry and Snape is the best person to teach you."

"But it's Snape!" Harry insisted. He knew Merlin didn't have much time, but surely there was a way to make the sorcerer understand the level of hatred that existed between himself and Snape.

"I think you may be surprised." Merlin glanced sharply down the hall. "Look I have to go. Keep out of trouble; I think things are going to start heating up in the next few weeks. Umbridge is just itching for a reason to go on a rampage." With that ominous prediction Merlin vanished behind the tapestry.

Harry exchanged a look with Hermione and Ron and the three of them headed for the dorms each hoping that a good night's sleep would help them see a little clearer.

Harry dragged his feet down towards Snape's dungeons. He could imagine the sneering and insults he was going to have to put up with from Snape so he was putting it off as long as possible.

By the time he arrived at the dungeon door Harry had managed to partially convince himself that he wasn't even going to come out of these lessons alive. Snape was just going to kill him or drive him insane and be done with it. What were Dumbledore and Merlin thinking letting Snape, who hated him above all others, mess around in Harry's head? Glumly raising his hand to knock Harry shifted his bag on his shoulder. "Enter." Snape's cold voice called through the door.

Harry gritted his teeth, set his shoulders and pushed the door open. As always Snape's dungeon office walls were covered in who-knew-what in glass jars. Harry shivered and spotted Snape lurking beside his desk. "You are late Potter. I will not tolerate tardiness."

Harry clenched his teeth. "Sorry Professor." He muttered.

"Very well, what has Merlin told you about the art of Occlumency?' Snape demanded, folding his arms across his chest.

"It's some magical thing to prevent Voldemort from reading my mind."Harry muttered.

"You will not speak that name here." Snape snarled, his fingers twitching towards his wand which lay on the desk at his hip.

Harry just glared at the Potions Master, but stayed silent. Finally Snape's lips twitched and continued. "Occlumency will allow you control your mind and as a result will allow you to either prevent other wizards from accessing your thoughts or allow you to control what they are able to see."

"Alright, so what do I do?" Harry snapped, he couldn't shake the feeling that Snape was being too helpful.

For a moment the two of them stared at each other, Harry wondered if Snape was trying to read his mind. The Potions Master blinked and picked up his wand. "First you must clear your mind; some find it helpful to focus on something inane, something which you can allow to completely overwhelm your mind."

Harry raised a sceptical eyebrow, but cast about the room for something. Snape tapped his wand against his palm irritably. "The most important thing is to completely clear your mind of thought, to focus all your attention. This will prevent another wizard from finding a purchase point in your thoughts."

Harry rolled his eyes and muttered to himself. "Right cause I'm going to find something like that down here."

Apparently he hadn't muttered quietly enough because Snape rapped his wand tip sharply on his desk. "Allowing yourself to become emotional will only help your attacker."

Harry glared at Snape before casting his eyes around the room, finally settling on the old chair set at the back of the room. Harry stared firmly at it for a minute until he felt like he wasn't thinking of anything else, then he turned back to Snape and for good measure, drew his wand.

"Now focus your mind Potter, concentrate everything on that single object. Allow nothing to distract your mind from it. I will attempt to penetrate your mind and you will attempt to stop me."

"How..." Harry asked as Snape lifted his wand and twisted it sharply. A blistering headache slammed through Harry's temples and he felt himself crumple to the floor while his first flying lesson played before his eyes.

Snape withdrew his wand and sneered. "Concentrate Potter. You need to focus your mind on the object you have selected."

"You didn't give me time." Harry snapped back, picking himself up off the ground and dusting off his trousers. Snape raised his wand again in preparation, but Harry jumped in first. Merlin had said that this was important to learn so Harry was going to try his damndest to learn it properly, even if Snape was determined to be an ass about it. "So when you do that spell, whatever it is, I have to concentrate really hard on something or anything that isn't a memory."

"Precisely Potter." Snape said, levelling his wand at Harry's head again. "Now prepare yourself." This time Harry was ready, he brought to mind the chair. Focusing everything he had on the single boring entity. Once again Harry felt the spell hit him and for a single glorious moment the spell seemed to shimmer over his skin, unable to break through. Harry's moment of celebration, however, was enough to distract his mind and once again he was treated to a vicious stabbing pain in his head and a vivid vision of his past.

Harry scrambled to his feet once again and glared at Snape. He hated that Snape was getting these free looks at some of the most private moments in Harry's life. The Potion's Master seemed unconcerned, he made no comment on what he had seen, but he certainly didn't congratulate Harry on his minor level of achievement either.

"Again."

It became the word of choice for the next hour. Still, by the end of the lesson Harry could keep Snape out of his memories for three whole seconds.

Thought Harry felt quite elated by his success Snape sneered. "You have hardly achieved anything Potter. This is after all only the first step in mastering Occulomency, you have a very long way to go yet." Snape glared at him. "You will return again on Friday night at the same time, during the week you will practice clearing and centring your mind before you sleep."

"Will it stop Voldemort from sending me dreams?" Harry asked, determinedly ignoring Snape's angered hiss at his use of the name.

"Eventually, once you have mastered your emotions." Snape threw open the door. "Now get out."

Harry snatched up his bag and stormed out. He really wished Snape had been a more horrible teacher, but it turned out he had actually been alright. Snide remarks and insults aside Harry felt like he might actually be getting this.

As he made his way back through the various short cuts towards the Gryffindor common room, Harry's mind drifted back to what Merlin had said earlier. If Umbridge really did go on a firing rampage through the staff then things were going to get bad.

Harry snorted to himself. Things were already bad, how could they possibly get worse?

But of course, there is always something worse.

Please note that given the half assed job Snape did of actually teaching Harry Occlumency in the canon I've sort of hashed out my own version. Hopefully you all find it acceptable.

This is actually my least favourite way of re-writing canon, unfortunately for the story to progress it sort of had to happen.