AN: I feel sorry for taking this long to update. My mother was diagnosed with cancer, and I had many other (un)related issues, but here I am, again. I hope somebody is still reading this. If so, I hope you enjoy.

Hitori, Futari

Chapter 21: Not Yet

Sitting in a booth overlooking the counter, the couple that often went on and off was again together, for seven months in a row now, for Yazoo had been permanently stationed to protect Edge from anything that threatened their hard-earned peace. For that reason, the other two commanders of ShinRa's special troops remained in the city as well, since they weren't in need of dispatching the soldiers anywhere beyond the borders of the vast…well, ShinRa empire, you may say so.

It was quite ironic and quite hypocritical of the brothers to side with someone who once had been their greatest threat, but Reno had gotten accustomed to their sudden changes of moods. Perhaps there was a bigger plan behind it all, likewise, perhaps there wasn't. He really couldn't tell nor did he care, since he wasn't affiliated with that magnate anymore. Why would he worry about things that were no longer his business? There was almost nothing that could prevent him from leaving the place if he had to.

He and Yazoo were engaged in some sort of small talk, but it was mostly silence. Out of interest, they were observing the youngest remnant, Cloud-obsessed, interact with said man. Cloud, on the other hand, hesitated. As always, Reno mused. Cloud hesitated about everything, and he was, in fact, the one who often got laid than not. He had already started considering him some kind of a whore, a man-whore, maybe, a male bimbo that liked to be brooding and full of angst, to flirt in a reverse-psychology kind of a way by showing how repelling a person appeared to him then falling in love (?) and sleeping with them sooner or later. First it had been Sephiroth, and all of a sudden, he had been forgotten and replaced with Reno.

Months had passed in awkwardness after that one sex they had, the one that physically was just fine, and morally too, seeing as both of them had been unattached at the moment, but still felt awkward. Cloud never tried to strike up anything directly, but the way he was pausing when talking to him, the way he was trying to pierce him with his unnaturally big blue eyes, his constant fidgeting accounted for the fact that he still wanted to have something with the red haired man.

Reno never knew how actually to respond to that, but, with their growing attachment, it was Yazoo who knew exactly what was to be done and he was pretty articulate about that. To the former Turk's surprise, instead of Yazoo's cold, threatening, condescending demeanor, he was met with fierce outbursts of jealousy that, although very flattering, still managed to terrify him. Now you could see him eyeing his brother in silent anticipation. He wanted Cloud conquered and removed as a threat, since he simply couldn't kill him in such circumstances.

The couple observed as Kadaj's attempts at flirting ended up refuted by the older man, that handsome blond flirt whom Yazoo had grown to…slightly dislike.

"But it cannot be said that the offer isn't tempting, don't you think?" he asked absently the man beside him. His big green eyes without eyelashes were fixed upon the two youths, thoroughly examining them. His lips were slightly parted, as he cast a venomous, condescending look in Cloud's direction, cold calmness glazing over them. That, in itself, was pretty intimidating and Reno didn't even want to imagine what would happen if Yazoo would start glaring.

"Well, I don't know, could be." Reno lifted one eyebrow. "It would be nice to shake him off for once." If Yazoo was satisfied with this answer, he didn't show.

"You do realize that you can't mate with him anymore, don't you?" he asked, instead, turning toward the redhead, looking him with laser-sharp look.

"I don't know whether I like the way you express your jealousy or not." Reno admitted, with a smirk, his hand playing with one of Yazoo's strands of hair, which he had pulled to his side. "Never thought you, of all people, would feel insecure about anything." There was a small tone of victory in his voice.

"Hn," Yazoo said, then returned to eyeing the two men.

The problem with Kadaj and Cloud was pretty simple, yet seemed kind of intricate. It was the usual thing, really. Perhaps usual to the extent you could put Kadaj in the role of a female of sorts, behavior-wise, of course.

His fundamental programming and his general problem was the constant feeling of loneliness and abandonment. If one added to it all the fact that Cloud had slept and been enamored with the two people Kadaj directly knew and knew they had had a strong impact on the blond's life, it was, in a way, reasonable for the young man to feel and act the way he felt and acted. And he was just a tad crazy, as we all noticed.

The two of them engaged in constant bickering and everybody in Seventh Heaven was already accustomed to that. It was usually yelling on Kadaj's part and Cloud's hopeless endeavors to reason with the younger man. They had started some sort of romance, in a roundabout way. Never in his life could Reno think that the remnants could harbor so many insecurities (except for Loz, of course). Kadaj was about to begin one of his fits and tantrums, he was sure of it.

"He can't get over the fact that Nii-san used to fuck you." Yazoo said, with some sort of bitter emphasis on the letter 'f'. "Whenever Nii-san tries to sleep with him, he pushes him away because he thinks Nii-san imagines other men during the coitus." He was generous enough to explain to his lover.

"Bullshit. Men never think when they fuck. Once they get to it, the mind goes blank. You should be aware of that yourself, yo." Reno pointed out, ignoring the bitter remark at the beginning. He was never getting tired of Yazoo's jealousy and did everything fathomable not to feed that beast of a feeling. But somehow, he wanted to put a stop to Yazoo's outbursts of jealousy.

"But they can imagine other people, now can't they?"

"Since when are you interested in all that?" Reno snorted, trying to suppress a small chuckle. "You, of all people, getting into the matters of human heart and mind. It's simply ridiculous." Yazoo's frown was never a good thing. It was more a frown of discomfort than anger, however.

"And how can one be sure, Nii-san, how, with that man being present right there!" Kadaj wildly pointed to Reno. "The temptation itself, present, the subject of your dirty wet dreams. Is he getting you hard right now? Huh? Now is he!" He leaned into the blond's face.

"Kadaj, act reasonable. You're embarrassing yourself in public." Cloud said quietly, embarrassed himself. "We've got customers." Kadaj's upset expression appeared deeply disturbing. Eyes popped out, sweat on his young childlike face, lower lip bitten in disappointment. Like a kicked puppy. He turned away from his lover.

"I'm acting like such a woman, haha." He laughed nervously, obscuring his face with his left hand. "Embarrassing you, of all people, was never my intention, Nii-san." He let out another nervous chuckle. "But seeing that treacherous face of yours, yearning for something Yazoo will never let you have, his exceptional little man. That treacherous, hypocritical face, that disengaging personality of yours is what makes me sick the most! You and your stupid, arrogant, bigger than life attitude!" He abruptly turned his entire body toward unmoving, expressionless Cloud, yelling at the top of his lungs. "First losing Mother, being killed by you. All my siblings killed by you. Saved by you. What are you, an ever reluctant hero posing as a messiah?! What makes you so special?! You are nothing and no one, always unattached, always brooding, always the one in the right, now aren't you!" His, now hysteric laughter turned into tears. He grabbed his throbbing head. "You dare tell me not to embarrass myself, get cured of my monomania."

"It is monomania and you know it, Kadaj." Cloud, who had been listening carefully, retorted in something he considered to be kind.

"Thus Kadaj swore to avenge the planet because of his mishaps in bed." Reno said jokingly, to which Yazoo didn't respond. "But he's right about Cloud."

"No it isn't! You're so accustomed to seeing me as an organism with one purpose only, to pursue you, never, ever getting accepted, appreciated for my efforts…"

"Attention whore." Reno quietly chipped in.

"…Not ever wondering whether we can feel more than we are supposed to?!"

"Well if you don't like it, you can simply leave me." Cloud retorted a bit bitterly. "This is who I am and I'm not going to change for your benefit."

Kadaj lifted his head enough to glare at his lover. "Well I suppose you wanted to change for that Turk of yours, or Sephiroth, or whoever who isn't me!" Cloud couldn't deny that fact. That he would, perhaps, be less disengaged and unapproachable. Kadaj understood this silence.

"Drama queen. " Reno said. Yazoo didn't give him a stare he'd expected to receive. After all, Yazoo was, most of the time, just as disengaging as Cloud. It was a bit painful and sad to watch this. Luckily, there were only the two of them and the staff to listen to Kadaj's desperate speech.

"So be it, Nii-san. I refuse to step on my pride any further." He nodded his head and, casting one last look at his brother and Reno, turned toward the exit and left.

"Well, that's a surprise."

"He is a warrior after all, Reno." Yazoo said quietly. He didn't even flinch at the very notion that this was his first time uttering his lover's name. The word he had the opportunity to read on many an occasion and hear it, for that matter, but never got to use, sounded as awkward as wearing new pair of shoes for the first time.

Reno caught up on this and only slightly smiled. He felt warmth spread through his chest and hated himself for it, a bit. Happiness was there, but he didn't want it. He wanted to be separated from him, wanted to spare himself the burden of anything that could come in harm's way. Their different lifestyles both didn't want to give up. Yazoo's unpredictable designs. Everything that might go wrong.

"Do you still entertain the notion of a traditional kind of life?" Yazoo suddenly asked, never bothering to look at him, taking a sip of his drink, instead. "Wasn't I behaving well?"

"That doesn't have anything to do with it. Your reform, that is, yo." Reno quietly retorted. At this point, he knew, Yazoo knew him too well. Sometimes it was uncanny how his lover knew what was on his mind.

"But it was a part of your problem, at least? As far as I could tell."

"You're one socially awkward creature, I doubt you got it cracked by yourself, yo. Somebody must have told you. But I'm still going to leave you and make the life I always wanted to lead."

Yazoo grunted in disdain. "A generic kind of life imposed by the society since your young age." He remarked. "Which means that you yourself have no personal, custom preferences. Just the vague notion of what you want." He didn't waste the words. "Are you that unhappy with me? After I got out of my way to decipher human behavior just to please you?" A threatening sense of a hurt person, a sense of developing personality startled the redhead. He could hear hurt in Yazoo's voice, just a bit, but it was definitely there.

Reno was looking at him for a long while before replying. "As a matter of fact, I am quite happy with you these past few months. " He nodded his head. "But, Yazoo, what if our different lives take us separate ways? None of us is willing enough to compromise about that. We're never going to make sacrifices for each other and you know it." Which was right. "What if your crazy brain decides to leave me, to harm me, to change its mind completely about everything?"

"Well, that's the thrill, the essence of things. One never knows." He could imagine Yazoo shrugging his shoulders even if the youth didn't do so.

"I don't want that," Reno shook his head. "I want stability. I have the need to be sure in order to relax. You can't give me that. With you, I'm almost always anxious."

"Never thought of you as someone who would settle into boredom and routine."

"I'm already thirty-one, Yazoo. It's time for me to settle and begin the era of my life that is boring, as you put it. No more crazy shit, or at least half the amount."

The remnant now had the vague idea of what Reno had been trying to tell him for almost a year now. "To top it all off, " Reno continued. " such things as going on and off with someone usually never works. I mean, if you're on and off with somebody it means it doesn't actually work, now does it? I don't need that kind of a fucked up relationship with anyone." But couldn't he see he was there to stay? That he was slowly giving up his freedom for him? He kept quiet, realizing that, for maybe the second time in his life, he felt heartbroken, the first time being when he saw Reno and Elena kiss. Perhaps it was his time to retreat, dignified.

"As you wish, then. After this, no more getting together." Yazoo stood up, his glassy eyes revealing nothing. "Bear that in mind." Reno knew better, however. This time he knew he had crossed the line, that he had hurt the man. He had finally reached him.

"No, Yazoo."He said, realizing just now that they had, for the first time, something they had never had, a proper communication, probably triggered by Cloud's and Kadaj's fight, obscurely. He continued, soberly. "If we get to maintain this level of communication just like now, if we learn, with time, to make compromises, then I'm willing to do my best at this thing." It seemed too easy to be actually real. Perhaps he was being pulled into yet another of Yazoo's traps. The remnant was looking at him with emotionless eyes.

"Why this sudden change of heart?"

"Because I realized that you weren't, by nature, able to make this much of a conversation in the past. That it wasn't entirely your fault anything that had happened. You've just developed your social skills, I gather." He was feeling fascinated by his new discovery. "It makes me really happy that I can talk to you like that, even at the risk of exposing myself too much to you."

Yazoo made and internal smile. "Hn." He said. "So you're settling for me?" He asked in a flat tone.

"Well, yes." Reno said. "At least for the time being. That good enough for you?"

Given the amount of damage he'd dealt his lover, Yazoo had no alternative. "I presume it will have to suffice." He said and left Seventh Heaven. He needed some time alone after this.

TBC… I may need one or two chapters to wrap this story. I hope the resolution wasn't too abrupt, but it was inevitable. I hope you liked it and that the characters weren't too out of character. Please do share your thoughts.