Chapter 21:

Charley woke up with a start, the blaring sound of her alarm clock ringing in her ears, echoing even after she slammed the alarm clock quite. With blurry eyes she peered over the top of the comfort of her covers and reached her hand out sightlessly for her phone before remembering she still didn't have one and instead looked over at her new alarm that said it was 6:30 in the morning. She must have forgotten to turn her alarm off for work.

Groaning, she flopped onto her back and stared endlessly up at her ceiling feeling a deep pit in her stomach that she would have to face Bucky today. It was frustrating knowing that he was trying to deal with the traumatic events of his past and having no idea how to help him.

She snuggled up to her duvet again when her cat, Mabel, got up and collapsed into the ridge of her leg once more, curling up into a ball shape.

Despite it being the early hours of the morning no sunlight was creeping under the gaps the harsh autumn months already affecting the weather and for a moment she wondered where the time had gone. It felt like yesterday it was only summer and it had been a solid five months of knowing Bucky but it still felt like it had only been days-

Her alarm buzzed again, making her and Mabel jump.

"Shut up." She hissed, slapping the top of the alarm and curling back under her covers when it was quite again.

Last night when she left Bucky and retreated to her room she had stayed up for most of the night searching the internet for something to get him for Christmas. She had wanted to get him something meaningful, something he might use or appreciate. God knows he didn't have much of his own possessions. It took her until 3am to find something and she had spent more than she cared to admit on it, but it would be worth it. She just wanted to see that gorgeous smile back on his face.

Her alarm buzzed a final time signalling her to actually get up. She brushed Mabel to the side, apologizing profusely when she almost fell off the bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants that were lying untidily at the foot of her bed.

Heavily, her legs carried her to her door where she peaked her head around to see Bucky still sleeping soundlessly on the couch.

She smiled inwardly at his sleeping form. His was sprawled across her sofa, curled around the lump of duvet that must have fallen off of him in the middle of the night.

Charley stepped into the room as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake him when he was in his most peaceful state and took a peak out of her fire escape window. The street was more packed with cars than she had ever seen it, everyone was inside celebrating thanksgiving. Having the day off was really screwing with her routine, usually her and Bucky would be up by now driving off to work, her hair still not brushed albeit but they'd be out of the door.

Bucky looked exhausted, however, and didn't look as if he would be waking up anytime soon. She supposed the events from yesterday had left him tired from overthinking.

She decided there was no point waiting indoors and doing nothing and instead make use of her day. Her lay in had allowed the sun to start shining and it looked like a nice day, one of the few they got now as the weather was preparing for the bleak winter.

She grabbed her running shoes and pulled on a baggy top before heading out with no destination in mind.

Mindlessly her feet took her to the nearby park that was completely empty for a school holiday period. There was only a single woman walking her dog and a couple in the far distance giggling to one another and holding hands, standing as closely as possible as if they couldn't get enough of one another.

Was she terrible for wanting that with Bucky? She thought as she began walking trying to keep her head low and not look up at the couple that were intoxicatingly cute.

She was coming to terms with the fact that it would never be normal when it came to Bucky and if she wanted normal she would have to give up. But the thought of being with someone other than him was just not possible.

She drew arms closer around her. It was chillier than she originally thought. Perhaps she should have taken a jacket with her. The sun was now hiding behind a few clouds and the park suddenly looked a lot darker.

She started doing a brisk jog, deciding that she might as well follow Bucky's advice on fitness as he was always telling her one of the best ways to build up strength is to go for a jog (not that he managed to do it very often for fear of being recognized). She found as she ran that she was more focused on keeping her breathing steady than her thoughts on her relationship with Bucky and ended up doing a whole lap around the park before she was forced to settle into a brisk walking before she fainted from lack of oxygen and ended up right behind the couple that she had spotted from the distance.

She must look so alone, she thought sombrely. It was thanksgiving and she, an obvious unfit person (by the way she was already red in the face and breathing ten times more than the average human), was going for a run.

After she did another pathetic lap of half jogging and half walking she went back home.

The stairs leading up to the apartment felt like a heavy weight on her legs and by the time she got to the top she was hot and sweaty once again. She had only been gone no more than an hour and when she opened the apartment door sloppily, letting it fling back on its own, she expected to see Bucky still sound asleep on the couch.

But instead, when she entered, the most glorious odour reached her nose and she had to take a step back as it overthrew her by surprise. The smell of peperoni pizza filled the room as she happily inhaled it taking a moment to appreciate the scene before questioning it's reason for being there.

"Bucky are you here?"

He appeared from the kitchen doorway still wearing his night clothes and in his metal arm he was armed with a pizza cutter, glossed in tomato sauce.

"Are you cooking pizza?"

"Yea- Yeah I am," he smiled looking back into the kitchen with a sloppy grin, "Luckily you had some pizzas left in the fridge because all the shops are shut"

"You didn't have to do this," She took a step forward, closer, closing the door as she did so.

"I wanted to"

"I could have cooked us a turkey if you wanted to celebrate thanksgiving-"

"No. I prefer this"

Charley frowned, confused by what he meant by this but he retreated back into the kitchen before she could question him further. Had this been his plan all along? Or had he decided this morning? Whatever was his reasoning she was glad he had decided to celebrate thanksgiving one way or another, even if it was in their own personal way.

She moved to clear the table but saw it was already tidy. The magazines that usually gave the table an extra layer had disappeared. The table even looked glossier as if it had actually been cleaned. The only thing on the table was the flower centre piece that had a fresh bouquet of flowers. Her knowledge on flowers wasn't perfect and she had no idea of the name of it but they were truly beautiful. She reached a hand out for the pink faded leaves and she had to bite her lip to stop her smile from stretching too far.

The more she looked the more she got confused; she could have sworn she had only been away for an hour. How had he managed to arrange all of this within that time?

"Bucky what is all of this?" she asked him as soon as he came from the kitchen holding two trays of pizza. One she could see was pepperoni the other vegetable, which was Bucky's personal favourite, "Not that I don't love it but I just don't understand-"

"I decided this morning, just after you left-"

"You know when I left?"

"I was awake ages before, your alarms are loud" he chuckled.

"Sorry," she cringed inwardly, "I forgot to turn it off for my day off and now that I don't have my phone, I have to use an actual alarm clock which is louder"

Before she had finished her sentence he had chucked down a slice of pizza, impossibly in one and was quickly trying to munch away at it so he could reply.

"I'll never understand your love for putting vegetable on a pizza," She scrunched her nose up in distaste as he finished his mouthful. He looked adorable trying to eat it as quickly as possible and she had to slap a hand to her mouth to stop herself from laughing, "Idiot"

"I shouldn't-," he gulped it down, "- have put that much in"

"That's why you must savour pizza and eat it as slowly and carefully as you can to appreciate every mouthful," she preached, "Observe." she said, before dramatically picking up her own slice of pizza and taking her time to pick it up, just before it reached her lips she launched herself at it and managed to fit half the pizza in her mouth in one, "oh shit," she said as her mouth overfilled with pizza and she was struggling to take bites, "this is harder than I thought"

Bucky's metal arm reached out speedily and grabbed the remaining slice of pepperoni pizza that Charley hadn't managed to stuff in and took onto his own plate, grinning like a school boy.

"Youdjudstolemysice!" Charley barely managed to stay as she sprayed pizza crumbs across the surface.

"The great thing is you can't steal any of my pizza's 'cause you don't like vegetable," he added grinning from ear to ear casually eating her slice of pizza with a allure of success having stolen it from her. She tried to snatch it back but he playfully pulled it further from her reach.

"This isn't fair," She huffed, clearing he throat as she gulped down the rest. She ended up giving up and dragged her plate closer towards her, protecting it so Bucky could steal no more, whilst Bucky was howling with laughter about how protective she was being over her slice. She realized then that he hadn't actually finished telling her why they were eating pizza now. What had changed his mind, "Anyway… you were saying?"

"Oh yeah," he remembered, "I was thinking last night about thanksgiving and I shouldn't have been so short with you yesterday, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that, you were only trying to help"

"No," Charley leant a hand across the table and abandoned her pizza to hold his hand, "I'm the one who is sorry. I was pushing too hard. I should have dropped the subject when you said you didn't want to celebrate. It's not like you've got much to be thankful for after everything that's happened to you-"

She bowed her head sadly her mind suddenly turning to all the tragic and painful things he had been through. Of course he hadn't wanted to celebrate a day dedicated to being thankful for life. She suddenly looked up again when she felt the surprising smooth touch of Bucky's metal hand gently stroking hers.

"No, that's the point. That's when I realized last night that I do have something to be thankful for," he caught her gaze with a soft smile and she tried desperately to hold it but felt a blush creep onto her cheeks and in attempt to hide it, she quickly looked down at her plate, "If I'm thankful for anything then it's for pizza"

Not meaning to Charley choked on thin air, "So was this whole meal just for you to declare your feelings for pizza then?"

"I wasn't done," he glared and with a smile she shut her lips, eagerly waiting to hear what he had to say, "I'm..-" he frowned and abruptly broke his gaze away and Charley gripped his hand a little tighter, telling him to go on without words, "I'm thankful for pizza because without it I might not be with you and Charley, I really don't know where I would be without you. I would have probably have killed myself if you weren't here. I- I need you to know that because I'm thankful to you for letting me have a second shot at life and that, with you, life isn't as bad"

There was a beat of silence. "Buck, you know you mean the world to me right?" she rolled her lips into her mouth trying to stop her voice from cracking, "and I-" I love you, she wanted to say. She wanted nothing more in the world than to tell him but it wasn't the right time. He was still healing and they had only just started their relationship. It could wait. She thought of something else, quick to say and settled with something that was equally as true, "I can't imagine how different things could have gone if you hadn't have come into the store on that day. I need you to know that I'm thankful for you too, more than anything. Just don't ever think about leaving because I don't know what I'll do. I'd probably die of worry, just don't-"

She was cut off by a pair of soft lips covering her own. She stopped breathing, thinking and talking all in one. Her eyes slowly closing as she leaned further into the kiss and focused all her attention on kissing him back with everything she had in her. Somehow the two stood up in synch, breaking the gap that the table had between them and slamming their bodies closer to one another. Her lips moulded into his hand rested on her hip, slowly moving to her back and drawing her closer.

She regrettably had to pull away for a gasp of air. Something, with his super soldier stamina, Bucky didn't seem to need. Letting oxygen fill her lungs once more wasn't nearly as satisfying as losing all her air by kissing him and she was almost willing to just kiss him senseless and not worry about taking a breath.

"Wow," she summed up.

"I don't deserve you," he said, his eyes brighter than she had ever seen them. Clearer, almost. He cupped her cheek cascaded a thumb across it sending intoxicating shivers down her spine.

"'Course you do," she whispered before throwing her arms around him again, a new desire in her to show him how much he deserved her. He was quick to respond taking steps towards the couch but Charley changed direction and grabbed the hem of his sweatshirt, still kissing him senseless and pulled him into her bedroom. She hadn't realized how small her apartment was as within seconds she had tripped over her bed and laying on it with Bucky eagerly exploring her, taking his time with every inch. Moving from her lips down to her neck where she lurched back groaning at the feel of his touch.

Quite abruptly he pulled away and Charley, thinking everything that had just happened had just been a wonderful and amazing dream, slowly and carefully opened her eyes to see him still above her, resting his hands at her sides to keep himself up.

"Are you sure? We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with-"

She rolled her eyes and brought her hand up to the back of his neck and pulled him down again so that their lips connected with a spark, "Shut up would you" She breathed between kisses, "I'm yours"

A/N thanks for reading. I'm sorry this chapter is so short. I literally only started rewriting it this morning because I didn't like what I had so far.

Reviews:

Bitch Ate My Cupcake: I'm sorry for not replying to your last review, I said I was going to but completely forgot. The phone is going to be so vital for the plot, I just can't wait to get onto it and write it because it's within the next ten chapters that everything starts to go downhill and I'm just so excited! Love your reviews, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the last!

Haileynh: I literally just want to reveal my whole plot to you but I won't just to keep you guessing :P Her losing her phone will have a big impact later on though, but no, it won't be hydra.

Zeppelin Skies: Civil War plotline is actually coming up soon. I think in ten chapters I should be almost there (which now thinking about it is still quite a while but I'm so excited to write it I think I might have to write the next few chapters quickly just to get onto it) Thanks for reviewing! I'm sorry I didn't reply last chapter and I hope you enjoy this chapter :D

Hkhorch: Sorry for not replying last chapter, this review really lifted my day. I'm literally struggling to fit in food at the moment and am kind of regretting including it. Lol, but I guess it's unique to this fic so I'll stick with it (like, how am I meant to include food as the titles to the civil war plotline.. I didn't think that far ahead. Lol). Sorry this chapter is so short but I hope you like you so much for the review, I'll say it again it really lifted my spirits so thank you *bear hug*

Sergentjamesbarnes: I seem to know so many people with a cat name Mabel, I guess I used that for inspiration. Thanks for the review, they always cheer me up