3 Months Later

"Ed..."

"Yeah... I... got this Soph" Ed sleeply replied pulling back the bed covers and gingerly swinging his legs over the side of the bed "Go back to sleep sweetheart"

"Are you sure Eddie...do you want me to come with you need to remember you're still recovering yourself...you nearly died...you did die"...Sophie's voice trailed off"

"Hey...hey stop now that's done I didn't die, I'm here and getting better everyday and I'm sure Soph...Clark and I need to deal with this together" waiting for a few seconds trying to find the right words he continued "I'm sorry I'm not...we're not shutting you out it's just at this moment in time I think we can get each other though it"

"Hey I trust you Ed but that doesn't stop me worrying about the pair of you...you have had to deal with so much over the years and you are now just opening up to me please don't shut yourself off again"

Turning to face his wife and seeing the fear in her eyes Ed knew in that instant he would never make that mistake again "Soph this nearly cost me everything and I never want to go through what I..." quickly correcting himself he pushed on "We went through again and I'm determined Clark isn't going to but I just need this chance to make it right"

"Just know that I'm here if you need me ok"?

"I've never doubted it" he replied smiling at the woman who after everything he had put her through still loved him without reserve.

"Good now go help our son"

Giving his wife a quick kiss Ed slowly stood up and headed in the direction of the noise coming from Clark's room, taking a deep breathe and hesitating for just a second Ed quietly opened the door and stepping into the room and was greeted with the sight of his son tossing and turning in the throws of another nightmare.

Carefully sitting on the edge of the bed Ed reached out and placed his hand on the side of his son's sweat drenched face "Schhhh...schhhh... Clark...its just a bad dream your safe" feeling Clark stir Ed continued "Its gonna be alright buddy, we're gonna be alright I promise."

Waking with a start and looked straight into his father's concerned eyes Clark took a few seconds to get his bearings before he spoke in barely a whisper "Dad...wha...why...sorry I was having a nightmare...I didn't mean to wake you"

"Hey buddy don't worry about it...wanna tell me what the nightmare was about?"

"Really Dad you have to ask...what's it always about" Clark replied sitting up and placing the pillow behind his back and sighing "I'm sorry...I didn't mean that the way it came out"

"I know you didn't and I know we have sort of talked about the Marcus situation but we need to talk properly Clark, you need to tell me how you feel, its the only way we can move forward and get over this"

"How I feel ha good one Dad you're the last person who can ask someone to talk about how they feel" closing his eyes Clark regretted the words as soon as they had left his lips..."Sorry I didn't"

"Mean that" Ed filled in the end of Clark's sentence..."You seem to be saying that a lot lately its running a close second to my I'm fines and buddy we know how that ended...so talk to me please"

"That's the problem I don't know what to say...I don't know what I feel...one minute I'm numb the next I'm sad but most of all Dad I'm angry with you...with Marcus for putting me in a position where I...I...where I..."

"Killed someone Clark, its ok to say it, doesn't make it right but its the start of coming to terms with it" rubbing his hand over his head Ed continued "Every life is precious even the bad ones but sometimes we are placed in situations where there is no other solution but to kill like that it's self preservation, Marcus gave you no choice Clark because if you hadn't have shot him he would have damn well have shot you and wouldn't have thought twice about it" swallowing the lump in his throat Ed ploughed on "He forced your hand Clark and I wish with every part of my being that he hadn't, I wished that I had never put you in that position and I will live with the imagine of you on the floor with a gun to your head for the rest of my life...with the knowledge that in your hour of need I was unable to save you" giving a small laugh the words flowed "I have save so many strangers, dealt with people in the worse 15 mintues of their lives in my career but when it came down to my 15 minutes and one of the most important people in the world to me I was helpless, but if you hadn't have done what you did I wouldn't be here today...you saved me Clark and as much as you may hate me for that right now I for one am eternally grateful"

Watching his father in shocked silence Clark wiped his eyes before daring to speak "I'm grateful too Dad you will never know how much, but I hate the feeling that this is going to be my Mae Dalton and I'm scared, I saw what it did to you and I don't want that"...jesturing around wildly with his hands..." this rollercoaster of emotion it's eating away at me little by little"

This time it was Ed's turn to be shocked and for a few short minutes he was stunned into silence, never in his wildest dream did he think Clark would compare the two incidents they were miles apart Clark had shot a hire trained assassin where he had shot an innocent girl who just in that split second had chosen the wrong course of action and although he had come to accept it, he would never come to terms with it and that was his burden to carry not Clarks.

"Whoa...whoa...don't even go there this is nothing like that situation I was pushed into taking the life of an innocent girl you took the life of an man who had killed on more then one ocassion including that of your friend Chloe Dowham and her family and then came after me and if he had managed to complete the job he would have gone on to murder I don't know how many more and I know it's hard for you to get a handle on it just now but honestly buddy it might not feel like it but you shooting Marcus was totally justifiable"

"How do I justify it...how do I do that dad...if you can't how am I suppose too?" came Clark's pleading reply

Sitting with his head bowed, elbows on his knees rolling his wedding band around his finger Ed searched for the words Clark needed to hear..."You have to understand people like Marcus enjoy what they do...they enjoy the thrill of the hunt and have no regard for the heartache and sorrow they bring with them, he wouldn't have cared that by killing me he would have left your mom a widow and Izzy and yourself without a father, they have no concept of feelings or moral conscious they carry out their job like you or I would any normal 9 to 5 routine"

"You mean they're wired wrong?" asked Clark his mind digesting his father words

Nodding slightly and flinching as he sat upright Ed continued "Yes that's one way of putting it and I know you find this hard to believe but doing what you did made this world a safer place and you should be so proud of that Clark because if I got anything out of my experience with Mae Dalton was that keeping you, mom and Izzy safe is my first priority and I hope to some degree I do it well but I also know that if I can't I have given you the skills to make the right decisions and ending Marcus's life was the right decision and I will never change my view of that and that gives me peace and it should to you also"...waiting for a few moments and closely watch Clark's face Ed asked the game changing question..."Does that make sense to you?"

"Yeah kinda of, I understand now that Marcus was to blame not me, but its still hard Dad"

"I know son and I doubt it will every go away completely and if you weren't reacting like this I'd be worried more then I am right now...but if you don't deal with it he would have won regardless"... leaning forward and taking his son in his arms ignoring the discomfort Ed asked one more thing of his son..."Please don't let him win...don't let him ruin your precious life promise me"

Savouring his father's comfort and warmth Clark snuggled closer "I promise but will you help?"

Smiling to himself and kissiing the top of Clark's head Ed replied "I will always help you but you have to do me one favour in return"

"What" asked Clark slightly hesitantly

"Promise you'll do the same for me"