Ch. 21

Jesse sat on the edge of tub with her mind screaming at her that she needed to go back out there and face the music. She didn't want to keep running away every time something got hard. Groaning she got up off the tub and with her head down she opened the bathroom door and ran straight into Slater's chest.

"What do you mean?" Slater asked not sure he had heard her right.

"I was pregnant." Jesse said slowly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Slater asked unsure of how he was feeling at that moment.

"I couldn't tell you. You had so much going for you. A football scholarship, college coming at you, and you were just to excited about going out there and growing up. Not to mention your military father would have killed you." Jesse said shrugging but avoiding his gaze. "You have every right to hate me, heck I hate myself just about every day of my life."

"What happened to the baby?" Slater asked slowly.

"I miscarried." Jesse said with tears forming. "They said I wasn't properly taking care of myself, probably because I was depressed or something. I don't know about that. I think part of me just couldn't handle everything life was throwing at me."

"So the real reason that you broke up with me was because you didn't think I could handle a child back then?" Slater asked as it finally dawned on him what she was saying.

"Well look who finally caught on." Jesse said sarcastically. "Look I only wanted what I thought was best for you, I wasn't exactly thinking all that clearly. I won't know for sure but I think when I had time to really think about it I would have eventually told you I was pregnant, I just miscarried to quickly to be sure."

"Well ain't that a kick. It must have been a relief for you to not have a child running around at your young age." Slater said starting to feel the anger rise in him at the thought of what could have been. "Did it ever occur to you that I could have taken good care of you and our child?"

"It probably would have later on when the panic of learning what we had done subsided but then again I was the one that was going to have to face everyone and the looks and whispers." Jesse said starting to get angry herself. She knew that he had every right to be angry with her but for whatever reason she just couldn't stop the feeling that was rising within her.

Slater could tell that there was something more than what she was telling him. As much as he wanted to scream at her and yell at her he had to admit she had been punished enough for all of her decisions. He also had to admit that it was nice to know that she cared so much about him that as a high school student she was willing to risk herself to save him.

"Look Jesse I love you more than anything in the world and I know that no matter what happened back then now is all that matters." Slater said slowly. He glanced up and saw so much worry and pain in her eyes that it was tearing him apart. He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into his embrace. "I can't help feeling hurt about what happened back then but I know that with time I will get over it because I love you and nothing can change that fact."

"Do you really mean that?" Jesse asked him as she clung to him.

"Yes I really mean that." Slater said with a slight laugh.

Screech was sitting on the couch inside the hotel room watching his friends try to get answers out of Lisa. He knew that Zack and Kelly meant well but for Lisa to be able to keep a secret that would mean that it had to be something big and it would have to be something she really couldn't share with anyone and that meant he needed to get the other two off her back. Whatever Lisa was hiding she had a good reason for hiding it.

"Come on you two leave her alone." Screech spoke up, shocking the other three in the room who had clearly forgotten he was there. This seemed to happen a lot and Screech was pretty much used to it.

"Look why is it that we can't know what's going on with one of our friends?" Kelly asked glancing between the other two.

"I would love to fill you in, believe me Kelly you know I would but it's not my place. Jesse has enough on her plate without me betraying her right now." Lisa said shaking her head slowly.

"Fine but once we are all out of this all three of us are going to sit down and have some girl talk. I wanna know what it is that's being hidden from me by two of my best friends." Kelly said with a slight pout.

Jesse and Slater were lying in the hotel bed together, cuddled together almost like their earlier discussion didn't happen, but it did. Jesse was wide awake thinking about some of the things that she had said and some of the things he had said. She knew that he had every right to hate her so it confused her that he would say that he still loved her. In her mind all she could think about was that he should have flown into a rage, he should have smacked her the way her ex did. She winced as she realized what she was thinking, as much as she loved Slater she had started thinking he was going to hit her like her ex even though she knew he never would. She knew he would never ever hit her like that. She knew that he was a real man so why in the back of her mind was she so afraid that he was going to hurt her?