A/N: *Peeks in* Are you going to chop my head off with hedge trimmers? I apologize to each and everyone of you for the extremely long wait! But, since you're here, I'd like to thank you for sticking with me. Major kudos to you! Thank you to the wonderful Mimi for beta-ing my stories!~Thank you to everyone who has helped me pimp this story out including The Wayward Pushers and all their amazing people! They made a GREAT banner for this story that's on my profile! Check it out! Also a HUGE thanks to TwiFic Promotions!Thank YOU for all your reviews, keep them up I love to know what you guys want to read!You guys should for sure follow Zombieward , Zombella1 (NEW) and TigerKillsZombs on twitter; they're all kinds of fun!
Last but not least...enjoy!
Chapter 17: Darth Vader and Jimmy Choo
"Your sister?" Bella sputters, "What is she doing here?"
"I…I don't know!" I yelp, my feet taking off towards the edge of the building. My hands once again cupping over my eyes as they follow the yellow car. "We need to follow her before she gets too far." I turn away from the edge, my eyes scoping for a way off of the roof without flattening ourselves like sweet, fluffy pancakes. Hm, now I'm hungry. Shaking away that thought my eyes narrow on a tree, one of its branches conveniently hanging over the roof, or so I thought.
As I near the tree, Bella at my side, the branch seems to have…jumped farther away from the building, erecting a heavy sigh from my throat.
"But…you're like…lanky. You can reach it, can't you?"
"Are you calling me Michael Cera again?"
"No, if I were I would've called you Juno. Now reach, Juno!"
"Good God, woman!" I huff as my hands involuntarily swipe at the tree branch, Bella's tiny hands gripping onto the waistband of my jeans as if it would do any good.
"Hurry, she's getting away!" She snaps, my fingers grazing the leaves before my hand connects with a branch.
"Aha!" I grin triumphantly as I somehow manage to pull myself up and into the tree. "Trust me?" I raise a brow at Bella as I extend my hand towards her, my other arm gripping the branch behind me as I lean towards her.
Biting her lip she shuffles closer to the edge of the building, her hand reaching out towards mine as I murmur. "Careful, Bella…slowly." She nods as my words travel to her, her hand beginning to shake slightly before her fingers scrape against mine. "Almost…" I mutter, sweat beginning to pool on my forehead before finally grasping her wrist in an all powerful fireman's grip,
"I've got you!"
"No, you don't!"
"It's a fucking fireman's grip. I DO!"
"Don't drop me!"
"I'm not. Now jump!" I order, our time quickly running out as I catch a glimpse of a zombie emerging from the entrance on the ground.
"Fucking Gum Drops!" Bella screeches as she leaps from the edge of the building, my grip on her wrist proving itself as I easily pull her into my arms.
"I told you I wouldn't drop you," I whisper into her ear, a small smile twitching at her lips. "C'mon, we've got a car to catch."
After a few branches to the face, a nest full of birds firing their shit and one pissed off squirrel later, we made it to the ground. I'm not entirely sure how it happened, considering I'm no Thor and my fireman's grip was pretty much just a fluke, but we did. And safely.
Hurrying to the car, my usual love of the kill slips away as a meat head limps towards the Smart Cart. The potential ability of seeing my sister, non-zombified, takes first place as I usher Bella into the passenger's seat and quickly take my place beside her. The Smart Cart roars to life in an instant and before we know it, we're racing down the highway towards my hopefully non-brain craving sister.
"What's she like, Edward?" Bella prompts as she pulls her knees to her chest, attempting to diffuse the slight tension filling the car.
"Insane. Hyperactive. More bubbly than Mentos and Diet Coke. She once stabbed a mugger in the chest…with her high heel shoe."
"Are you serious?"
"Oh, God, no. She wouldn't get blood on a pair of her own shoes." I shake my head, chuckling quietly to myself. "They were someone else's."
"Then I guess it makes sense that she's still alive." Bella echoes my small laugh. "I guess badass qualities run in the Cullen family."
"You know how we do." I Kanye West shrug, sending Bella into a bigger fit of laughter.
"Calm yourself, woman! I can't hear the sweet purr of the Smart Cart over your hyena cackle!" I smirk, reaching my hand over to nudge her shoulder.
"My hyena cackle? Dude, you sound like a fucking frog when you sleep! You bloody croak!"
"I…c-croak?" I sputter, laughter coursing through my veins.
"Yes! You croak then go all Darth Vader on my slumbering ass!"
"Bella…." I inhale a deep breath and exhale painfully slow through my deep voice. "I am your lover…." Cupping my hands over my mouth, I continue with my classic impression of Darth Vader.
"Yep…." She begins to clap her hands together, fighting back a smile as she nods. "There it is….Darth Cullen."
"I'll be here all week," I smirk as I bow my head. "Alright, alright, we need some Focus Factor up in here." I shake my head as I accelerate further. Alice's car had picked up the pace way back at the Kanye Shrug and per usual, my attention was stolen by Bella. I can't help myself…those deep brown eyes, her smooth ivory skin…Really Cullen…really? You're loosing sight of your sister and you're thinking about baby butt skin and poop eyes? Work with me here, fucker! Stupid Un-handy zombie notebook.
"Maybe try honking your horn and putting the brights on? It's getting dark…she should be able to see them…"
"Yeah, yeah, good idea." I nod and follow Bella's command, first the lights then a few honks.
Meep. Meep.
"What is this, Kermit the Frog? You've got to be shitting me, that's your fucking honk?" I scoff.
"Yeah, that was really anti-climatic. I wasn't expecting a fog horn or anything but….that was just…like…wow."
"I'm so close to just driving this thing off a cliff. A steep, steep cliff," I scowl, throwing my fist into the center of the steering wheel. Suddenly, the clouds parted and an angel descended as he strummed a harp. Okay, not exactly, but in that second the smart cart erupted into a loud and obnoxious car alarm.
A grin that would put the Grinch's to shame slid across my face as Bella cupped her hands over her ears.
"Shit, that's loud! I guess you hurt his feelings, Edward!"
"It's perfect!" I yell, kissing the steering wheel vigorously. "I love you, I love you, I love you!" I shake my head in disbelief as I quickly unbuckle my seatbelt and direct my attention to Bella. "Take the wheel and flash the brights for me? I'm going to stick my head out the window and try to flag her down. Drive as fast as possible."
"Yeah, yeah, I can do that." Bella winces as she uncovers her hands from her ears, easily switching places with me other than a few head bumps. "I got it, I got it." She assures as she takes the gas pedal and the wheel from me. "Please be careful, I really wouldn't like you to get beheaded by a Burger King sign."
"Yes, ma'am!" I salute, rolling down the window and easing my torso into the oncoming wind.
"ALICE!" I muster every bit of energy to howl her name into the night. "ALICE!"
I repeat her name over and over in intervals between the car alarm as Bella flashes the bright lights over and over.
"Fucking Porsche! Little faster, Bells?"
"I'm going as fast as it'll go!"
"Flooring it?"
"Flinstoning it!"
"MARY-ALICE CULLEN!" I yelp louder and louder as the Smart Cart sputters after my sister, who now disappears around a corner. "PRADA! GUCCI! JIMMY-FUCKING-CHOO!"
Screech. Engine Revving.
"You've got to be joking…."
Alice's yellow Porsche steals from around the bend and hauls ass backwards before jerking into a spin and screeching to a halt in front of us like a stunt driver. Bella nails the brakes just as Alice does, grins spreading over both of our faces as I slither out the passenger's seat window. I crash onto the pavement, but quickly manage to pull myself up and retrieve Bella from the passenger's seat.
"We did it." I smile, pressing a kiss to her temple before jetting off towards my sister as she exits her car, a look of disbelief etched onto her face.
"I…I th-…you're alive?" Alice struggles with her words, as she grips her car door for support. Her petite form was even smaller as she stood against the car, dirt sprinkled over her exposed skin, but not in a messy way. It was as if she worked with the dust and dirt like it was makeup. No one looked put together in Zombieland, but Alice didn't look anything close to Bella and me. She worked with what she had, classic Alice.
"Yeah, I'm alive," I manage, my voice dropping an octave lower than usual as I stop at the hood of her car. "And so are you, Al." It was happening…I was manning up and letting myself cry.
"Yeah," she breathes a small laugh as she dabs at her eyes and quickly steps away from the door and runs into my arms.
My arms instantly secure themselves around my baby sister, my chin resting on her head as she cries into my chest. "Sh, Al, it's okay…"
I throw a glance over my shoulder at Bella, who is awkwardly leaning against the Smart Cart as she chews on her lip. She gives me a reassuring smile as she catches my eyes and nods once, mouthing: "Take your time."
"I…I- I don't know anything about mom and dad a-and Jasper o-or Rose and Em, nothing, Edward!"
"I'm here, we're here. We're going to find them, we're all going to be okay," I know my next words needed to be said. The only problem is that I don't know if I can keep them. "I promise."
Alice gently scoots out of my arms, a sheepish smile taking her small features. "I haven't showered since…" she laughs as she fixes her hair. "I can't even remember."
"Believe me, I know. I've been using a car freshener as deodorant. I smell like a forest." I match her chuckle as I shrug my shoulders, thankful for the subject changer. "You look good though, Ali. Honestly."
"I've been doing okay for myself," she smiles, a hint of pride threaded in her words.
"I always knew you had it in you. Who would've guessed that a little zombie apocalypse would be all it took to unleash your wild side." I grin, nudging her in the side, her ribs more visible than I'd like.
"I know, I know, I'm pretty bad ass." Alice giggles softly as she leans around my form to peer at Bella. "Who's she?"
"Oh, my fault. Alice, this is Bella Swan, my girl-, my friend." I close my eyes, mentally junk punching myself. "Bella, my sister Alice."
"Hey Alice." Bella politely smiles as she leans away from the Smart Cart, extending her hand once at my side.
"Nice to meet you, Bella," Alice grins brightly as she shakes Bella's hand. A slight twinkle glows in Alice's eyes as she wriggles her nose. She used to do this all the time, usually right before she would jet off to a Coach sale or the grand opening of a new Kate Spade, it never ended well.
"You too," Bella nods before directing her gaze to me.
"Well, this has been a big five minutes of our lives and I don't know about you two, but I'm fucking whipped. I'd give my right arm to sleep in a bed…any bed."
"Any zombie would surely help you with that!" Alice snickers.
"I was just going to say that…" Bella's laugh joins my sister's.
"Great…now I have to deal with you turning Bella into another one of your minions. Can't wait." I fake eagerness, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Hush, Edward! You're lucky I'm here to save your sorry ass."
"Believe me, Bella was already doing that for me."
"Kid's got a point." Bella shrugs with another light laugh.
"I honestly don't know which is worse, you two or a pack of rabid zombies."
And with that I received two swift slaps to both of my cheeks. I never seem to catch a break.
A/N:Thank you to the wonderful Mimi for beta-ing my stories!~Thank you to everyone who has helped me pimp this story out including The Wayward Pushers and all their amazing people! They made a GREAT banner for this story that's on my profile! Check it out! Also a HUGE thanks to TwiFic Promotions!Thank YOU for all your reviews, keep them up I love to know what you guys want to read!You guys should for sure follow Zombieward , Zombella1 (NEW) and TigerKillsZombs on twitter; they're all kinds of fun!Another poll is on the profile, please vote!