Chapter 21: Time Wasting, Mechs, And Shock Videos

Hey, readers! Another nugget of The Draigg's InfoNotes (Trademarked)! Did you know that green is statistically the most badass color in the color spectrum? Now, I know what you're thinking: "The Draigg, isn't red the color most associated with badassery?". Well, you'd be kind of right. Red is a cool color. But, ask yourself this: what color is Spiral Energy, Getter Rays, Bronze Bell Energy, G-Stone Energy, and The Ideon's logo? Therefore, green is the color that kicks the most ass. I rest my case. Anyway, with that little nugget of truth (Trademarked) out of the way, let's get to the story!

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Meanwhile, while a fire was burning in a police station on the other side of Vale City, something else was being burned by a certain Roman Torchwick. More specifically he was burning time on the clock.

Ever since he'd squirreled away his (even more) ill-gotten money and got ready to abandon Cinder, he shit-kids, and the White Fang, Roman and Neo had only shown back up to the warehouse hide out to keep up appearances. After all, if someone found out what they were planning for, they might kill the criminal pair. Or worse, take their money away from them. Now THAT was a fate worse than death. Roman personally wanted to be cremated with at least a million lien when he died. And as for Neo… well, she needed to fund her ice cream addiction somehow.

So, along those lines, Roman and Neo had been hiding away in the warehouse office for most, if not all of the day. Between getting Perry to bring him in a bunch of pizzas and having a stable internet connection, Roman was pretty satisfied with the lack of anything accomplished by himself today. He could tell that Neo was feeling the same way, judging by the look on her face as she played around with her double tomahawk.

Yeah, Roman could definitely say that today was a pretty good day.

Of course, fate really gets a hatred boner when it gets tempted. So, of course, the inevitable happened.

At first, there was a polite knock on the door. Then, less than a second later, heavy greaves kicked open the office door. In strolled Cinder, Mercury, and Emerald. Or, as they were called by Roman (in addition to numerous other nicknames) Fire Crotch and her Bitch Brigade of Dick Kids.

Roman barely lifted his gaze above his computer screen and rolled his eyes. "Sure, just walk in. It's not like its RUDE or anything," he sneered.

"Please, Roman," Cinder coolly said, "We knocked."

"And then kicked in the door," Roman added.

"That's beside the point," Cinder quickly added.

"Yeah. We've got actual work for you," Mercury dismissively said in Roman's direction.

"Oh, goodie. What is it? Changing your diapers?" snarked Roman.

"No, we need you to kick out your boyfriend," Mercury shot back.

That made Roman fully glare at Mercury. "Kiddo, I've got more puss than the one between your legs. Do I even LOOK gay to you?"

"Completely," Mercury said immediately.

"Yeah, kinda," Emerald added.

"…" Neo added, wanting to get into this conversation. Now this was getting fun.

Roman glared at Neo. "And what's gay about dressing nicely and wearing a little eyeliner and foundation? Huh?!"

"Wait, don't you have a pride parade to attend? Sorry to bother you then," Mercury continued.

"…" added Neo with a small, wheezing giggle.

"Oh, don't YOU get started," Roman snarled at Neo. "You have absolutely NO room to talk!"

Neo simply shrugged and gave a cheeky smirk. She knew that Roman wasn't gay, but man, it was a rare and fine treat to see her partner in crime get this angry and flustered. But, she had to admit to herself that if Roman didn't want to come off as gay, then he should ditch at least the makeup. He'd probably look better without it, anyway.

Around this point, Cinder stepped between the two bickering criminals. "As much as this is cute, we have work to do," she said to Roman and Mercury.

Mercury lowered his gaze to the floor. "Sorry…" he muttered to Cinder.

"Hmmph," Roman huffed.

Turning to Roman, Cinder ordered, "Follow us. There's something that you need to deal with in storage."

"Yes, ma'am," Roman said with a mocking salute. Getting up from his desk chair, Roman walked out of his office. He made sure to bump Mercury on the way out, making him stager back a little. The silver-haired henchman didn't notice Roman's petty smirk as he walked out of the door.

Neo gave a small wave goodbye as the rest of the group walked out of the office. And, she allowed herself a small laugh when she saw Mercury give Roman the middle finger behind his back. Wow, it was so petty it was funny. Cinder was the last one out, closing the door behind her.

Ah, now she was completely alone. Nothing or nobody could stop her from doing her… other hobbies now. But, just to be safe, Neo got up from her chair and locked the office door. There, now it was perfect.

Neo slid into Roman's desk chair and dumped her double tomahawk onto the table top. She didn't really need it for one of her favorite pastimes. Opening a new tab on Roman's open internet browser, she typed into the search engine "Three guys, one vice grip".

As Neo opened the page, she briefly made a mental note to just bookmark the video's page. She certainly did visit that site frequently enough. That site was grade-A spank material for her.

Then, with one last look around, Neo confirmed that nobody could see her. Good. She wouldn't be able to live down the shame if anyone caught her in the act. Heck, she might have to murder someone if they found out. Yet again, Neo wouldn't mind. She'd get the same feeling in her stomach and down lower, compared to the video she was about to watch.

Yeah, that was something Neo could get behind. Nobody would notice a random White Fang member missing. They looked all the same with their masks and uniforms anyway, right?

On second thought, Neo didn't need that video. The image that popped into her head was more than enough for her needs. So, exited out the tab and closed her eyes, focusing on her fresh idea. Watching the light go out of someone's eyes as they struggled to breathe… Feeling their skin grow clammy as they fought to get free…

Needless to say, Neo really did enjoy her time in the office.

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Meanwhile, in a situation that wasn't a mixture of titillating and horrifying, Roman groaned as he realized what the Shit-Eaters Society dragged him away from his shopping to do.

Walking into one of the bigger back storage rooms, Roman was led towards the line of mechs lining the side wall. Really, they were some high class weapon platforms. The Paladins alone could crush a hundred people into a fine, pinkish paste. But, to Roman's detriment, he knew that his employers weren't interested in talking about those.

The group stopped in front of one mech in particular. For the most part, it was similar to the Paladin. Hell, it was built by the same people inside the same factory. The serial information on the inside of the cockpit said so. It was the MCP 772 Shiden that the group was looking at.

Now, the MCP 772 Shiden was the cutting edge of the cutting edge. Built as the bigger, badder brother of the Paladin mobile platforms, the Shiden boasted many features that a baseline mech could never have. On its shoulders rested its main guns, the Vector Cannons. The two cannons were guided by the latest of anti-personnel targeting technology, able to keep a mark on targets even if they left the line of sight. With it's tracking features, the targeting system could follow any target behind cover. In addition to that, the guns themselves fired dust enhanced rounds at an unprecedented rate, enough to shred through a reinforced cinderblock wall as if it was made of wet bread. Finally, the red paintjob with the skull white cockpit frame struck fear into any enemy, as if a demon from Hell itself was after them. Truly, the MCP 772 Shiden was a force to be reckoned with.

…Or, it would be, if the Square-Cube Law didn't exist.

The thing was, in the Atlas military's quest to make a mech have enough dakka to give a gun-nut an uncontrollable erection, they kind of forgot about weight. While the Shiden could move, it didn't move very fast at all. And, even when it did manage to plod along the ground, the sheer weight of the cannons and their ammo systems made the rest of the internal framing weaker and weaker, until malfunctions and rotor jams became completely unavoidable. Because of that, several repairs had to be made after almost every time it was used. The problem with that was that Roman had ordered the mechs turned on every other day, to make sure they still worked. As a result, the Shiden had to be repaired every week, even if it only walked around the industrial complex. And that wasn't exactly conducive to anyone's finances whatsoever.

"Care to explain why we have to spend lien on this every week, Roman?" Cinder calmly asked, pointing at the Shiden.

Roman rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find a good way to talk about the issue. "Wish we had a Xabungle instead…" he bitterly thought. Then, clasping his hands together, he began to try and talk his way out of paying for the repairs. He needed to put on his charm, alright. The looks he was getting from the others said that he was close to footing the bills for everything around here, not just the mechs.

"Look," Roman began, "I don't think I ned to tell you that this is a high-performance machine, right?" He gestured to the Shiden. "Like, just think of it like a dog. You gotta walk it once in a while, okay?"

"Not if that walk costs several thousand lien, moron!" Emerald chastised.

Roman raised his hands in a disarming gesture. "Hey, if you wanna, be the ones to drive it, the door's over there,". He pointed past the group towards the large loading-bay door. "I'm not stopping you."

"We're not against you having the mech piloted, Roman," Cinder explained. "But, we can't just keep on wasting money and resources on that thing."

"Hey, if you wanna use it for… whatever you're using it for, then the repairs are kinda necessary," Roman shrugged.

Mercury chimed in with an idea. "Can we just use the guns? Those are probably better than the mech."

Roman clicked his tongue at Mercury. "Yeah. Well, if you want to spend more money to get 'em off in one piece. But, yeah, that's a no can do, kid."

Mercury frowned and crossed his arms. "So what, we're just supposed to bend over and take it?" he scowled.

"Yeah," Roman quickly replied. "I bet you're used to that already."

Mercury rolled his eyes at Roman at least three times in a row. "Comin' from the gay guy," he retorted.

Just as Roman was about to reply with something snippy, Cinder raised her hand up. "Enough, you two. I think the both of you've made your opinion clear. How about you, Emerald?"

Emerald briefly sputtered as Cinder turned her attention towards her. She actually wanted her opinion? It was like a dream come true! Anything for Cinder! "I-I, uh, think we should just keep it. But, not use it. Like keep it in storage," she replied, hoping that she answered good for Cinder.

Cinder cupped her chin as she considered Emerald's opinion. "I see your point… It would be a waste to just get rid of it. After all, every part still works…. Alright, Emerald, we'll just store it."

Emerald had to keep her squeeing internal. Cinder more or less agreed with her idea! It was all she could ever ask for! Mercury and Roman, on the other hand, simply shrugged. "Sure, whatever," the red-haired thief replied.

"Good. And Roman," Cinder said, getting uncomfortably close to Roman's face, "don't do anything… less than wise with it, okay?"

"Sure thing, boss," Roman dryly replied.

"Good, good," Cinder purred, turning on her heel and strutting away. It was as if she had nothing more to say. It took a minute for Mercury and Emerald to realize that they were done here. With an awkward gait, the criminal pair followed after their leader.

Roman couldn't help but chuckle as he watched the two shit-kids follow after Cinder. It was like watching two little ducklings follow after their mama. Heck, if he wasn't busy raking in lien, then he could make a nature documentary about these three. It would be called, "Unhealthy Dependence in Dickhead Children".

Once his chuckle died down, Roman began to walk back towards his office. Well, that was a waste of time for him. They easily could've sent him a text or email about this. Oh well, at least it affected him very little. All he needed to do was one simple change, after all. Well, he'd had enough time in this room for today.

Roman had time to waste and lien to spend!

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Man, a lot of obscure references were thrown around this chapter! I tell you, I feel that people are starting to get less and less the references I make. Still, that won't stop me. It only encourages me. After all, I like to think my readers are smart and can point them out. So, be sure to tell me the ones you found in the reviews section!

This is The Draigg, and I'm out of here on a blue gale!