I absolutely loved the reviews for the last chapter! Thank you, leave some more here ;)
Enjoy, Em
i don't own glee
Santana hummed along to the song currently playing on her iPod as she ran up the steps leading to her apartment. She unlocked the front door and stepped in, kicking her running shoes off in the hallway before heading for her bedroom to see Quinn.
"How are you feeling babe?"
She asked while walking into the room, but froze as she saw that the bed was empty.
She figured that her wife was probably in the bathroom so she left her bedroom and headed that direction, only to find it empty too. Back in the hallway she could see Quinn's key hanging on the hook so she knew that her wife was at home since the front door had been locked. She peaked into the living room before heading to the kitchen, but as soon as she entered she froze. There, on the middle of their kitchen floor, lay Quinn in a pool of her own blood. For a second Santana's heart stopped beating before it began beating so hard that Santana was sure it was going to break all of the bones in her body. All she could hear was the sound of her own heart and her own rapid breathing, but it didn't sound like it came from her. It was as if she had left her body and was watching it all from a distance. Santana felt like she had been standing there for several minutes, but in reality it was only a few seconds. A million thoughts ran through her head and they were all about Quinn. She didn't care if their baby was okay or not as long as Quinn was okay. It wasn't that she didn't love the fetus, because she did, but she just could not get herself to care more about something she had never even seen yet, not even on ultrasound, over her wife, the one person she loved more than anything else in the world. At some point in the middle of all these erratic thoughts Santana was able to run and get their home phone and she dialed 911 while she fell to her knees next to Quinn, taking her cold hand into her own.
"911, what's your emergency?"
Santana wasn't even aware that she was crying until then when the only sounds she could make were sobs. She managed to get herself together enough to answer the operator.
"My wife. She's passed out in a pool of blood."
"Okay Ma'am, an ambulance is on it's way, but I'm gonna need you to stay on the line with me. Can you tell me if she has a pulse?"
Santana had already checked for that, but she pressed her fingers against Quinn's wrist once more, just to be sure.
"It's very weak, but it's there. And she's pregnant."
Santana could hear that the lady on the other end was typing while they were speaking.
"That's good. Is there a lot of blood? Do you know how far along she is?"
"Yes, too much. About 2 months or so. Will they be here soon?"
"They will be there in a minute sweetie. Can you make sure that she can breathe properly?"
"Her mouth is open and I can't see anything blocking her air passage. I can feel her breath against my skin."
Santana had stopped crying, she was too focused on getting Quinn help. As soon as she had replied to the lady the paramedics came into the apartment and Santana sat back as they started working on Quinn.
"Are you still there sweetie?"
"Yes, I'm here. The EMT are here."
"You can ride with them to the hospital. Do you want me to hang up now?"
"Yes, that's okay. Thank you so much."
"You're very welcome and don't worry you're wife is going to be okay."
"Thank you."
Santana hung up the phone as two of the paramedics lifted Quinn onto a stretcher and a third one came over to her and gingerly wrapped a blanket around her shivering body.
"We're going to take her to the hospital now, you can ride with us."
Santana nodded and he helped her up and wrapped his arm around her to make sure she wouldn't collapse. As soon as they got into the ambulance and it started driving Santana couldn't hold back the tears anymore and she put her face in her hands and cried. What was she supposed to do if something serious happened to Quinn? Or worse. What if Quinn died? She had to stop thinking about things like that Quinn would be fine. The baby would be fine. They were all going to be fine, she just knew it thanks to her psychic Mexican third eye.
As soon as they arrived at the hospital Quinn was brought into surgery and Santana was brought to the waiting room. Or she thought Quinn was in surgery, she wasn't really sure of anything to be completely honest.
30 minutes after they arrived she was sick of sitting still and crying so she got up to get some coffee and figured that she should call their friends and family in case something serious happened. She called Quinn's mother first because she knew that would be a short conversation.
"Hello Santana."
"Mrs. Fabray. I just called to tell you that Quinn is in the hospital."
"What is wrong with her?"
"I don't know, I came home and found her passed out in a pool of blood. Oh, and she was, or is, pregnant."
"Oh dear. I'll fly out there as soon as I can. Thank you for telling me."
"You're welcome."
Santana hung up and took a sip of her coffee to relax herself. She was getting pissed at Judy for acting so nonchalant when her daughter could very well be dying. She let out a sigh and called Brittany.
"Sanny!"
Santana sat down again and gently rubbed her forehead.
"Hey B, listen I need you to come out to LA as soon as possible?"
"Why? What's wrong?"
Brittany's usually cheery tone was replaced with a serious one.
Santana started sobbing again.
"Quinn's in the hospital, I think she lost the baby."
"Oh my God, you we're having a baby?! I'll be there as soon as possible babe. What hospital are you at?"
"Thank you. Cedar Sinai in LA."
"I'll call Rachel and Mercedes for you, don't worry about it. And don't worry San, Quinn is a fighter, she'll be okay."
"Thank you B, for everything. I love you, bye."
Santana hung up and wrapped the blanket even tighter around herself before calling her own parents.
"Hello?"
Just hearing her mother's voice was enough to make Santana completely break down and for several minutes she just sat there with the phone in her hand and cried. Her mother tried comforting her by saying things to her in Spanish, but nothing worked. She just needed to get this out of her system; she needed to be strong for Quinn and their baby.
"Mommy. I need you so badly now."
"And I'll come as soon as you tell me what's wrong mija."
"Quinn and I have been trying to have a baby and about a month ago we found out that the IVF treatment was successful and she was pregnant. She wasn't feeling well today and kept throwing up so I left her to sleep and went for a run, but when I came back I found her on the floor. She must have lost a lot of blood because our kitchen floor was covered."
"Oh baby girl, is Quinn okay?"
"I don't know, I haven't seen her since we left the ambulance about an hour ago. She had a pulse then, but it was very weak."
"Quinn will be okay, I promise you that. She's a fighter."
"But what about our baby?"
"You'll have to wait and see what the doctor says Santana, I don't know what's happened. Listen, I'll talk to your father and try to get us on the first flight to LA okay?"
"Thank you mommy. I just really need you."
"Of course baby, but Quinn needs you too so I need you to be strong for her."
"I'm trying mommy, I really am."
"I'm glad. I'll call or text you as soon as I know anything about the flight and I love you very much."
"I love you too."
As Santana hung up Mercedes rushed into the emergency room and spotted her friend sitting in a corner. She walked over and bent down so she was sitting in front of Santana and began speaking to her in a gentle tone.
"Hey Santana, how are you?"
Santana looked into Mercedes' eyes and simply shrugged, but Mercedes could tell by the look in her friend's eyes that she was happy to see her.
"Do you need anything? Coffee, water, food?"
"A hug would be good."
Mercedes smiled gently and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. Santana sank into her arms and began crying again. Mercedes had no idea how to comfort the clearly broken girl, but she did the best she could.
"So you two are starting a family, huh?"
She felt Santana nod against her shoulder.
"You'd make a pretty amazing mom, San. Quinn too."
"She'll be the best."
Mercedes was starting to get uncomfortable so she sat on the chair next to Santana and pulled her onto her lap, and she was quite surprised when the fiery Latina let her.
"I think you two would make the smartest, most beautiful and amazing kid in the world."
"Well the baby is probably dead so it doesn't matter."
"I don't know, the Santana Lopez I know would never give up so easily."
"But it's not just me anymore. What if Quinn doesn't want to try anymore after this?"
"Are you kidding me? Quinn was born to be a mother and she knows it. You two were both under the regime of one Sue Sylvester, she'd make you do things 100 times before she was satisfied."
"Thank you for being our friend even though I was a bitch to you in High School."
"At least you were honest. And you're a good friend now. You were back then too though, you'd always stand up for those you cared about."
Mercedes' phone vibrated in her pocket and she looked at it.
"Britt, Rachel and Kurt were able to get tickets to a flight that leaves in two hours."
"Can you stay here with me?"
"I'm here for as long as you want me."
"I'm really tired."
"Why don't you get some rest? I'll wake you if there are any news okay?"
"Thanks 'Cedes."
Santana fell asleep and basically slept for the next 12 hours only waking up to eat and drink every now and then. By the time she finally woke up for real all of her friends and family had arrived. She told them about what she knew, which was very little, and told them that they had in fact started IVF treatments. All of them hugged her and said comforting words before her mother pulled her aside and sat down with her.
"How are you doing, mija?"
Santana shrugged and looked down at her hands.
"I don't know, I just hope Quinn is okay."
"I asked you how you were doing, not Quinn."
Santana let out a sigh.
"I'm scared. I'm scared that something will happen to her, or them, and I'll be left all alone. I'm scared that this will change our relationship. Other than that I don't really feel anything. I just wish the damn doctors would hurry up and tell me something about my wife!"
"I understand that you're scared, but I know that neither you nor Quinn will let this ruin your marriage. In fact I believe that you will grow stronger from this experience. And you don't know for sure that the baby is dead."
"Based on the amount of blood on my kitchen floor I'm pretty sure. It's a miracle Quinn isn't dead."
Maribel grimaced and stroked her daughters back.
"It must have been horrible for you to walk in and see that baby."
Santana put her head in her hands and nodded.
"What's even more horrible is the fact that it's my own fault."
"Why do you say that?"
"Quinn was really sick and throwing up all over the place and as soon as she got a little bit better I left her to go for a run. I left my sick, pregnant wife to go for a freaking run! Who does that?! If it wasn't for me Quinn would never have been in the kitchen in the first place, she would have been in bed and I would have gotten her help sooner."
"San, I agree that you probably shouldn't have gone for a run, but this is still not your fault. Quinn's a stubborn girl; she's going to do whatever she wants to do. And I know she won't be mad at you for not being there, because you're here now."
"Why does life have to be so God damn unfair to us?"
"Maybe God knows that you two can make it through anything, so he does this so you two can appreciate each other even more."
"Well then God fucking sucks! There's a reason we didn't get married in a church for fucks sake."
"Santana, calm down. You know I don't like it when your curse."
"I'm sorry, it's just so frustrating. What have we done to deserve all of this?"
"Everything happens for a reason, mija. Just wait and see."
"I'm fucking done waiting."
"Mrs. Fabray-Lopez?"
Santana looked up at the doctor standing by the doors to the waiting room. Grabbing her mother's hand she walked over to him.
"That's me."
"Hi, I'm doctor Johnson, I've been looking after your wife for the last 8 hours."
"How is she?"
"She's alive. She'd lost a lot of blood so when she came in they gave her a blood transfusion before operating. They were able to stop the bleeding and she's in recovery now. She hasn't woken up yet though."
"And the baby?"
"The baby didn't make it unfortunately, it was dead long before she came here. It's difficult to say, but we think she miscarried at around 6 or 7 weeks and what happened now was just her body trying to get rid of the tissue."
Santana squeezed her mother's hand and closed her eyes for a second before looking back up at the doctor.
"Will she be able to have children again?"
"Absolutely, just be careful and do regular check ups."
"Trust me, my wife won't be allowed to leave the bed for 9 months. May I see her now?"
"Yes, but not too many in there at a time and as I said she's not awake yet."
"I'll go in there alone."
Maribel kissed her daughters cheek before Santana followed the doctor to Quinn's room.
"Just come find me if you have any questions okay?"
"Okay, thank you."
Santana slipped into Quinn's room and sat down on the chair next to the bed, gently holding Quinn's hand between her own.
"Hey baby. You really scared me there. Don't you dare do something like that again, do you hear me?"
Santana started drawing patters on Quinn's hand as she looked down at the slightly-paler-than-usual girl lying in the bed.
"What on earth were you doing out of bed in the first place? I bet you were hungry, but you could have waited for me. It doesn't really matter though, the baby was already dead. But you could have died too. If you had died I would have died too, I don't know how to live without you."
Santana laughed gently.
"It's crazy, you're in the hospital after a miscarriage and having lost so much blood you needed surgery and you still look more beautiful than ever. You're pretty amazing, Lucy Quinn Fabray-Lopez. And you're all mine."
Santana kissed Quinn's hand gently.
"You're so cold, Q. I'll warm you."
Santana stood up and gingerly climbed into bed next to her wife, careful to avoid the IV in her hand. She wrapped her arms the best she could around Quinn and closed her eyes.
"When you feel better and you're ready for it we can try again. Maybe we'll get lucky and it won't take long. I just want to start a family with you, but if you want to wait then I'll wait. I won't push you into anything. I love you."
Santana kissed Quinn's cheek before putting her head on her chest and she quickly fell asleep. She was awakened by something under her moving. Quinn. Her head shot up and as soon as her dark brown eyes met the most beautiful hazel eyes she's ever seen a huge smile grazed her face.
"Hi."
"Hello. Where am I?"
Before Santana could answer she had to kiss her wife so she did just that. When she pulled back she could tell that Quinn was smiling too.
"Sorry, I just had to, you look so gorgeous. You're at the hospital?"
Quinn frowned and put a hand on her stomach over the covers.
"Why?"
"I came home to find you almost dead on the floor babe. You scared the shit out of me."
Quinn's eyes widened slightly.
"Am I okay?"
"You will be. You had to have a blood transfusion and surgery, but with enough rest you'll be back to normal."
"And the baby?"
Santana bit her lip and slowly shook her head.
Quinn let out a sob as tears began streaming down her face.
"The doctor said that the baby has already been dead for a couple of weeks. There was nothing any of us could have done."
"It's all my fault."
Santana began wiping away Quinn's tears.
"Don't say that, it's not true."
"How can it not be true? It was in my stomach and I should have been more careful, just like you told me."
"I don't blame you because it wasn't your fault. You were careful. And to be honest when I saw you on the floor I didn't give a damn about the baby, I just hoped you would survive."
"How can you say that? It's our child. Don't you want to have a baby with me?"
"Of course I do Quinn, but your health comes above an unborn child that I've never even seen!"
"Well do you want to try again?"
"Of course, as soon as you're ready. I can't wait to have a baby Q, I'm just not willing to risk my wife to get one."
Quinn let out a soft sigh.
"I get what you're saying. It was just a shock to find out that I'd miscarried. Are you okay though?"
"I'm fine now that you're up and talking. I'll be better when I get you back home. I'll have to clean up the kitchen floor though, you made one heck of a mess."
"Sorry about that."
"It's okay, I should never have left you alone."
"I don't mind, I should have just stayed in bed like you told me to."
Santana put her head back on Quinn's chest.
"Let's just think about the future instead."
Quinn's stomach growled and Santana smiled.
"Hungry?"
"You have no idea. It was why I was going into the kitchen in the first place."
"I'll go get you something to eat. Oh and everyone knows."
"Everyone?"
"Well your mom, my parents and our friends. They're all here."
"They flew in from New York?! They really didn't have to."
"I wanted them here, I didn't know what was going to happen to you."
Quinn smiled at her wife.
"I'm glad you called them. Now go get my food."
Santana winked at Quinn and left the room. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door.
"Come in."
Maribel stuck her head into the room.
"Is it okay if we talk?"
Quinn smiled at her.
"Of course Mrs. Lopez."
"Quinn, you're my daughter-in-law, call me mamÃ."
"Have a seat, mamÃ."
Maribel kissed Quinn's cheek and sat down.
"I'm glad you're up, Santana was so worried about you. She's been crying non stop."
"I hope she's okay too, she seemed a bit closed off."
"She will be, as soon as the guilt is gone."
"What guilt? If anyone should be guilty it's me, I lost her child."
"No one can blame you for that, mija, because you didn't lose it on purpose. Something was probably wrong with the fetus and this is nature's way of fixing it, it's just unfortunate that you lost so much blood."
"I still feel guilty though."
"Listen to me sweetheart, San doesn't blame you and she never will. All she's been thinking about is you, and what she'd do if anything happened to you. You can always have another baby, but she can never have another you. She loved the idea of you two having a baby, but it was still so early that I personally believe that it's impossible to actually love what there was because it wasn't a human being yet."
Quinn let out a sigh and gently grabbed Maribel's hand.
"You're right, I was in love with the idea of a baby with Santana. And I still am, it will just take some more time than expected."
Maribel kissed Quinn's hand.
"There you go. I know the two of you will be wonderful mothers and it probably won't take too long."
"Thank you for being so nice to me."
"Hey, you're family and family needs to stick together."
"Say that to my mother."
"She is here you know. Well not right now, she went to get some sleep at the hotel, but she's in town."
"I still want you to be the favorite grandmother."
Maribel stood up as Santana walked into the carrying a tray. She kissed Quinn on the forehead and winked at her.
"I completely plan on it."
Quinn giggled as the door closed behind the older Latina.
"What was that about?"
"She just made me feel better. She's a really good person."
"Yeah, I always thought I had a pretty cool mom. I got you some soup, the doctor told me not to get you anything too heavy."
"It smells wonderful, thank you. Hey San?"
Santana sat down at the edge of Quinn's bed and looked at her.
"Yeah?"
"I don't want us to wait too long before we try again, maybe like a month or two? I know that this was a scary experience, but I really want this."
Santana smiled and pushed some of Quinn's long, blonde hair behind her ears.
"I want this too, so badly. As long as you're fine with it I say lets go for it!"
The two locked eyes and suddenly everything seemed to be good in the world again. At least for now.