here's my next update. enjoy my fellow fanfiction-ers!!!

I don't own House.

Chapter 21

It had been a week since the prospect of Ethan having a partner had been uncovered. Weston had confirmed that they were now dealing with an accomplice and had told House who, at first, refused to tell Cuddy. But he knew she wasn't an idiot and it hadn't taken Cuddy long to catch on and Wilson to find out soon after. The knowledge was a burden on all of them but House didn't seem to be affected by it at all. He wanted Cuddy and Wilson to know that he wouldn't let this new information take over his life. He wanted them to know that he wasn't worried so they wouldn't; there was no reason to make a big deal out of it, which, of course, was a total and absolute lie.

He was worried shitless.

The knowledge of a partner scared the hell out of him. It brought him back to those two days in the basement with Ethan and he couldn't help but think, If that was what Ethan wanted to do to me, what the hell does the other guy plan on doing? He'd find himself losing track of time easily, day dreaming, getting distracted. His team figured something was up but a few threats here and a meaningless punishment there meant 'Mind your own business, fool'. And they did.

The problem was that he was more worried about everyone else he knew than he was about himself. He had already gone through the torture and the pain. He had suffered through the aftermath, and, with help, he had managed to handle it. But he didn't think he could handle it if he saw Wilson or Cuddy in his position.

He'd kill himself if he ever had to see Cuddy in that position.

Oh, God, Cuddy. He had no idea where things were going with her...

They were friends. The two of them, and had been since med school. And over the last one and a half months they had definitely become closer. But the question was, just how close was too close? When he had kissed her weeks ago, his feelings toward her weren't like this. Back then, he knew all the emotions he was feeling and could separate them. Now…he didn't even know if he was feeling one emotion or several. Back then, he had done it just to prove a point now…well, now he did what he did best – not think about it by way of distraction.

It was how he lived now. Distractions. Distractions from Ethan, Ethan's partner, the meeting with him next week, his growing feelings for Cuddy… He would dive into cases now, solving them faster than ever while he swiftly insulted his friend's hair, stole his food and checked out his boss's ass especially when she was near a donor.

Speaking of donors…that goddamn fundraiser was in tomorrow and Cuddy had been having the time of her life reminding him about it day after day. He almost couldn't wait for the day to just come so he could get it over with already.

Almost.

He sighed, trying to get some sleep. He wasn't supposed to be sleeping considering all the patients in the clinic. He was in Exam Room 2, lying down on hospital bed with a newspaper over his face. He had left the lights on, hoping everyone else would think he was seeing a patient. Actually, most of the nurses probably knew he wasn't seeing a patient but they probably wouldn't say anything anyway.

House hadn't even heard the door open or Cuddy walk in. She abruptly ripped the newspaper away from his face, accidentally pinching House's nose in the process.

"Owww!!!!" He sat up, instantly, grabbing his nose. "What the hell are you trying to do, rip out my nose?"

"Believe me, if all I had to do was rip out your nose to ensure you did your job, I would have done it a long time ago. I mean, who needs a nose?" Cuddy deadpanned.

House, still frowning, turned around and lay back down on the bed, facing away from Cuddy. She simply walked to the other side and yelled, "House!"

"What!"

She shoved a blue file at him and he quickly grabbed it before it fell down. "Is this a case? I already have one so this person can just die," he lied.

He heard some shuffling behind him and turned to see a teenager, probably eighteen or nineteen, with multiple tattoos and piercings dressed in everything black and leather. Yet, despite her, 'I'm-so-tough' outfit, she looked like she might piss in her pants.

"It's not a case. I just figured since you're in the clinic, you can see a few patients."

"I did. In here," he pointed at his head. "And I did more than just 'see' them if you know what I mean…"

She rolled her eyes and quickly turned on her heels to leave. Once she had closed the door, he closed his eyes to get some sleep. He knew the girl was still in the room but he figured she'd feel awkward and leave. Instead, she scuffed her shoes a few times and coughed loudly.

House groaned and peered over at her. "What the hell are you still doing in here?"

"Uh…I…"

House sat up grudgingly, to look at her file. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing…I--"

"I mean physically," House specified, silently adding you moron to the end of that sentence. This was going to be a long day.

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"Do you need me to pick you up for the fundraiser?" Wilson asked as the he ate his lunch…with the help of House, of course.

"Do we have to talk about the fundraiser? There are a lot of other subjects out there worthy of discussion. Rainbows… sunshine…the monument I plan on creating to celebrate Cuddy's ass when the full moon--"

"I'm only asking because I'm not so sure you'd actually drive yourself there."

"I can drive," House spat, trying to sound insulted.

"I know you can drive. I'm just not sure you'll reach the correct destination."

House smirked. "You know me too well."

"Seriously, are you actually going to go?"

"If I don't go, Cuddy said she'll starve me…wait a minute…I think she said if I keep complimenting her ass she'll starve me. She's so modest, even hates my compliments."

Wilson stifled a lecture or a groan. For the past few weeks, Wilson had seen both Cuddy and House interact and you had to be an idiot to not notice the changes. Sure at the hospital he was still the annoying pain in the ass and she was still the employer doing her best to control him but anywhere else, they were two almost completely different people. It was like they put on a show at work and took a break as soon as they stepped out of the hospital. He listened to her more often, she wasn't as uptight and, dare he say it, he was more human. It wasn't just Cuddy helping House, he was helping her as well and it didn't seem like either of them realized it.

"Has it ever occurred to you that you bringing up Cuddy's ass whenever possible suggests that you like not only her ass, but her as a person?"

"Nope. But I see where you're coming from. After all, it would be rude to like only her ass. Her boobs would get jealous."

Wilson sighed, dropping the subject. "Speaking of relationships that will are bound to fail because the people involved decide to be idiots--"

"In your defense, it was your ex-wife that was the bigger idiot."

"—Cameron and Chase are still together," Wilson completed, ignoring House's deflection.

"But that doesn't mean I've lost my bet with Foreman," House pointed out quickly, determined to win. "I said one week, he gave them an additional two. If they break up within the next three days, then my guess was closer than Foreman's, so I win."

"I doubt Foreman's going to see it like that."

"Foreman is a fair man when it comes to winning a bet. He'll see it my way."

"Right, because you're the standard of fairness."

"Wanna bet?" House asked, willing to get another source of income.

"No, thanks," Wilson said hurriedly.

"Scared?"

"Yes."

House grimaced. "You're boring."

"So what makes you so sure you're going to win? What's going to change in three days? If you ask me, they're only putting it off this long to prove you wrong."

"They can't play games with me. They can try, but they will lose…but Foreman is getting better at playing, I'll give him that. But that's not the point…the point is, the fundraiser is tomorrow."

"What does the fundraiser mean?"

"If they go together to the fundraiser, as a date or as friends, then they'll be forced to maintain an illusion of date-hood. Chase will start to get the wrong idea about their relationship, Cameron will get pissed, end of 'relationship'. If they go separately to the fundraiser, Chase is going to find himself another play-toy for the night and Cameron will get jealous, end of 'relationship'. Either way, I win."

"So this relationship is going to end because of hypocrisy either way?"

"Yup."

"You do realize that in doing this, one of two things is going to happen. They'll realize their hypocrisy and actually become a real…thing…or they'll realize their hypocrisy and be idiots and not try to fix anything. So you either help them, or they're going to become to the most annoying members of your team. They also happen to be 2/3 of your team."

"I don't care what happens next. I just want to win my bet, prove a point, and have the chance to say that Foreman was wrong."

"Still. The sanity of 2/3 of your team hangs in the balance. You have to have a back-up plan."

"Of course I have a plan. Blackmail. I tell them to focus on the case or risk getting fired. Chase loves his job too much and Cameron will try to prove she's a big girl. I win. Again."

"And if they fix the problem and become a couple?"

"They've been having sex for two weeks and seemed to be doing their job pretty well. How different can it really be if all they do is also admit they have feelings? Believe me, Wilson. Whichever way this thing blows up or doesn't, I'm going to be just fine. And fifty dollars richer."

I'm going to be just fine….how could he say that, Wilson thought to himself. Especially after the confirmed accomplice who's identity had yet to be confirmed…how could anyone function with that knowledge? He himself was worried sick for his friend. And yet, House had been pulling it off for a little over a week now. At times, even Wilson was convinced there was nothing to worry about –that House, somehow, had some sort of plan. But he'd quickly pull himself out of his wishful thinking and remind himself that it was how House was coping. Pretend the problem wasn't even there. It wasn't a very safe strategy but at least he had something working for him.

Wilson realized that not once had House brought up the meeting with Ethan yet. None of them were sure exactly how that was going to work, what Ethan wanted to really talk about, what he would admit to, if he would admit anything…and the most important question…how well House would handle it.

No wonder House pretended the issue wasn't even there. It was definitely a lot easier than dealing with it. Unfortunately, it wasn't always the best plan.

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A few steps away from House's office, Cuddy was preparing herself for what exactly she would say to House. There was no way she could just ask and get it over with. He'd read into it, analyze it, figure out ways to make her pay…no, he wouldn't. And that's why she was going to ask him, not Wilson, not one of the other donors who had asked her, but him. Why was she so willing to subject herself to this? House was going to get a kick out of this, or worse, mock her. No, he won't, she told herself again. You've known him longer than anyone. What makes you expect he'll act at least semi-grown up about it? She didn't know. It's not even a big deal, and here you are having an internal battle over it. Just go in there and say it.

She had opened the door to his office. No turning back now.

"I need an escort," Cuddy announced, slamming her hands on House's desk. She was neither smiling nor frowning when she said it but she looked at him expectantly but unsure.

House said nothing for a moment. "I feel as if our roles in the hospital have switched. I should be the one slamming my hands on your desk demanding an escort. Come on, let's go downstairs to your office and try again. I don't like upsetting the balance."

"I need an escort," she repeated again with less force.

"If you walk up and down this street, take the jacket off, leave the skirt and unbutton your blouse just a little, you'd have dozens of men asking you to be their escort for the night…dozens of women probably too. Voila. You've solved your own problem."

"For the fundraiser tomorrow," she specified, trying to hide an amused smirk. "I'm the dean of medicine and I… need to go with someone. It's one of those social rules that most people follow but is unwritten and undefined. You wouldn't understand," she joked. Then added, "But that's why I need an escort."

"Are you trying to start a conversation? What does this have to do with me?"

She exhaled quickly through slightly pursed lips, looking up at the ceiling as if some divine hand would smack House across the face. Do I have to spell everything out? He can be such an idiot for a medical genius. "Will you…be my escort for the fundraiser tomorrow?"

House frowned a little, trying to figure out if she was joking. A twitch here, a flared nostril there…nothing. Still, he was sure this was Wilson's idea, to prove a point. Well, he'd show him. A few unnerving seconds passed before House finally answered.

"You look like you're about to wet yourself," he said.

She looked down at him and intelligently asked, "Huh?"

"Am I that intimidating?" House asked, now amused. "If you don't want to really go with me just ask Wilson. I'm sure he'll be delighted. Even I'm not sure if I'm going, I've been spending my time plotting some sort of escape. Wait a minute, is this your way to force me to go?"

"No, I'm not trying to force you. And if I wanted to go with Wilson I would've asked Wilson. I'm asking you."

"Now you're being intimidating. Is this how you ask all your…escorts…?" he paused at the last word, smirking immaturely.

"I'll take that as a 'no'," she said, leaning off the table and turning to walk out of the room. She had honestly expected him to say yes even though she was so used to expecting 'no' – especially when it came to House. Yet, she found that she was disappointed at his answer, and with that disappointment came hurt.

Just before she turned around, he caught it. He saw that emotion in her eyes. Holy crap, she was serious. Damn it, House…fix it, fix it, fix it…

"You of all people should know to never extrapolate from my ramblings," House mocked causing Cuddy to backpedal. She turned around just at the door, surprised but still expectant. House finally gave her a clear cut answer. "I'll go…if you answer one question."

Here it comes, Cuddy thought to herself. "Okay."

"You can't fool me! Since when do you need an escort to a fundraiser?"

Cuddy half sighed, half laughed, mostly from relief. She raised her hands in surrender as she walked back to his desk with a sheepish look on her face. "You've haven't been to a fundraiser in years. I thought I could fool you."

"I'm unfool-able," House said proudly. "So why are you really asking me?"

"Because some idiot's been badgering me for weeks about taking me to the fundraiser," she admitted guiltily.

"I assume this idiot is a donor?"

"Have you ever heard of that saying…the problem when you assume is that you make an ass out of you and me?"

"I'm already an ass, and you have a bigger one so I can't go wrong with assumptions. I'm right, though, aren't I? It was a donor?" House had that triumphant smirk on his face, meaning he was obviously amused and found this whole thing interesting.

She sighed, sitting down in the chair right in front of his desk. She took his red tennis ball and twirled it around on the desk. "Yes, it's a donor. Happy? And he's been on my tail since."

"Is he fat?" House asked, still smirking.

"No. He's a nice guy but so damn boring…"

"Wow. Again, that's something I should be saying. It's like we're in an alternate universe."

Cuddy smiled. "Ha-ha, House. But he wants to donate a lot of money to the hospital and I don't want to offend him."

"So your genius plan is to turn him down? Yeah, I'll doubt he'll be offended."

"He'll be even more offended if I don't have a …show up without someone," she mended. "Then he'll know for certain that I don't like him. So do me a favor and act for me, will you?"

"You went from pleading to demanding in two minutes flat. That has got be a record, even for a crazy administrator like you."

"Dean of medicine," she corrected, still twirling the ball. "So will you go with me?"

"You don't want to offend him and you chose the most offending doctor in the hospital to fake go with you?" he asked, trying to stay away from the word 'date'.

"You're a better liar," Cuddy lied smoothly. Actually, House being a liar wasn't a lie at all, but her reason for asking House was. She had asked House because, just that morning, when the rich donor with no shame had called yet again to ask her to take her to the fundraiser, she had said she was already going with someone. And she had given the donor a name. A specific name. House's name.

"Will you go?" she asked again.

"How could I say no to such an opportunity?" House said with fake enthusiasm.

At that moment, the three ducklings walked into his office. "We have a twenty six year old female--" Foreman started but abruptly stopped when he saw Cuddy and House talking. The two of them were smiling somewhat evilly and diabolically and Cuddy was playing with his tennis ball. Cuddy turned around, quickly dropping the ball as if it was a hot potato and House looked over her shoulder. Foreman had stopped not because Cuddy and House had been talking – that definitely wasn't a first – but because of how. It didn't look like they were arguing, like they wanted to chew each other's heads off…they looked like two normal human beings just…talking.

Weird…

"Um…you busy?" Chase asked a little uncomfortably.

Cuddy was already about to make up some lie about what they had been talking about but House quickly filled in. "I know it looks like we were just talking but really we were having sex. That's why we were sitting so close."

Cuddy made a 'Are you serious?' look but apparently that excuse was good enough for everyone else.

Cameron continued where Foreman had left off, "Twenty six year old female, gas main exploded under her building and she was pulled out of the rubble after six hours."

House nodded once, obviously bored. "Well, that sucks."

"Two surgeries for multiple fractures and burns--"

"Multiple fractures!" House gasped. "Wow! That building must have been like…really heavy!"

"She has a fever but it isn't responding to antipyretics – fever's holding at 104. And she's the only victim with the problem," Foreman finished.

"Bo-ring!" House sang.

"If it's so boring then figure out what the problem is," Cuddy demanded.

"Why are you being so demanding?" Then he mumbled through the side of his mouth saying, "I just said yes to your other proposition!"

"I'm a demanding administrator, remember?" she shot back. She leaned closer to House's end of table and whispered so that the rest of the team couldn't hear, "You take this case, or I'll rig your bet with Foreman and make it so that Cameron and Chase stay together at least for the next three days."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"Then I get 75% of your winnings."

"You can't do that."

She leaned a little closer to him – terrifyingly close. "Watch me." She smirked as she stood up and walked out of his office, leaving him baffled. There was no way she could get 75% of his winnings, but the way she had said it – she seemed so certain, as if she knew something he didn't. He frowned, weighing his chances while his team stood awkwardly at the door trying to figure out exactly what was going on between their boss and their boss's boss.

"So…collapsed building patient…" Foreman prompted.

House rolled his eyes, sighing, and propped his hand on his desk, lifting it up. Foreman gave him the file for him to skim through. He'd take the case- no one was getting part of his bet money.

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House dramatically opened the door and slammed it behind him, staring Wilson in the eye.

"Is your name James Wilson?" Wilson asked. "My name is on that door. Why are you always in here?"

"You almost ruined me and Cuddy," House accused, pointing at his friend with his cane. He sat down on the couch still staring him down.

"Care to clue me in?"

"You've been drilling it into me that I like her so when she comes into my office and asks me something, the first thing I do is assume you're behind it. If I didn't figure it out on time she would've been pissed and I would be forced to endure more annoying snotty nose kids in the clinic as punishment."

"Still not clued in."

"She asked me out."

Wilson immediately dropped what he was doing. "Really?" he asked, hardly believing his ears.

"No, you idiot! She asked me to…take her to the fundraiser."

"What's the difference?"

"It's not a real date. I'll take her there, escape and come back in time to take her back home. The end. Besides, she's only trying to get out of another date with some dumbass donor."

"So she chose you as…back up?"

"I was thinking…liberator?" House suggested.

"So she's trying to get out of something without offending the guy that could write her a nice check?"

"Yup. And she chose the notorious pain in the ass doctor to do the job. Is this ironic or what?"

"Yeah. You see irony, I see--"

"Shut up."

"Why are you so adamant that this is nothing?" Wilson asked. "You're practically going on a date-"

"Fake date."

"Now this is ironic. Aren't Cameron and Chase fake dating?"

"Yes, and they're about to break up. Cuddy and I were never together."

"Do you want you two to be together?"

"No."

"Yes, you do! You know you do."

House sighed, aggravated. This was supposed to be a funny conversation, discussing all the ways House could make that donor's life hell. Now they were discussing…feelings.

"She's my boss," House rationalized.

"Admit it," Wilson pushed. "You like her."

"I'm really starting to not like you."

"It's not a bad thing, House. To like someone."

"She's my boss."

"Since when did that stop you?"

"Despite common beliefs, I am aware of boundaries and limits. Just because I choose to ignore them doesn't mean--"

"So why aren't you terrified of this boss boundary? You always ignore boundaries but all of a sudden you're scared to even get close! You flout limitations because they mean nothing to you. Because there's nothing to lose. But this time, everything's different. You like her, care about her, she means something to you and this time you have everything to lose."

"No pressure, right?" House said standing up to leave. Stupid Wilson.

Wilson said nothing as House slammed the door as he left. He could hardly believe this new turn of events. House and Cuddy were going out on a date, and neither of them believed it really was one. Things were bound to get interesting.

Yeah, so now you know more about the fundraiser! Honestly, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it. Should I make it dramatic? Revealing? A filler chapter? Funny? Angst filled? I've been thinking about it for a while now and this is what I finally decided on. Definitely not dramatic (in all honesty, I never wanted the fundraiser to be dramatic) but an okay idea I think. There's definitely going to be funny House-annoying-donors moments and House/Cuddyness parts so I think it's an okay balance.

Looking forward to it? Or maybe the Ethan meeting that is definitely coming up? How else am I supposed to know if you don't REVIEW!!

Thanks guys for reading and reviewing – I passed the 200 review mark!! YAY! Everyone gets cyber cookies and lollipops! ^^

Please don't stop reviewing! It makes me smile!

:)