The girls avoided most of the waking hours, instead they would sit and talk when everyone else was in bed.
For them it was normal, sleep was a waste of time for the living.
"If I could write out my own dream, for the next time that I sleep. You would be the first one that I'd see and I the last one that you'd keep."
And it was true, if she could she would.
"I haven't been outside my room in days. It took me some time, but now I know that conscience never fades."
During their time apart, they'd both been given the chance to think through their choices. It had taken Buffy a long time to accept who she was and who she would never be.
All of her life she had been in hiding, wishing for someone just like Faith.
Someone who would pull her through.
"Before I do this, before I tell you everything. You need to know that this will happen again. Not the Nova part. It's a new feeling, the feeling of success, the feeling of finally doing something right. Doing something that's right for me. Me, you, everyone we've had one of those days."
Faith couldn't argue with that. At times she would feel so weird inside and it was then she'd remember not to break down. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down and there was no need to run and hide.
Life's a ride and it's amazing all that you can do.
"I believe in you, I trust you with my life. I came here because I had heard the stories about you. You were a legend, a very hot one if I may say so." Buffy blushed, yet she grinned. "All I wanted was to get to know you and I thought that if I could get accepted by you, I would change. I would keep myself occupied with the slaying and my mind wouldn't wander off to the bad. But it did and things got worse."
Faith had served her time. She'd done it for Buffy and for Angel and for anyone else she might've hurt along the way.
She had pondered long and hard on why she was they way that she was. Maybe Buffy did play a part in it all.
When the world came crashing down, the Slayers were always there to defend it until their last breath. Faith was a part of it. She enjoyed being a part of something bigger than herself. She was doing good and if it didn't help her, it would help future generations. As long as someone was benefiting from her work, she was okay with that
"I won't always have the answers for your questions. The answers hat you seek, may lay elsewhere. I want you to know that I will be with you even though we're apart."
Buffy had grown old in Sunnydale, she had given it all her strong years and her friends all of her devotion. "Faith, I've tried to teach you well, all of everything i know, of how to live this life and be true."
Faith smiled, but her eyes didn't.
"Why do you always do that? You smile with your mouth and grit through your teeth. I don't like it. It's like you're bleeding a lie without having to say it." Faith sighed deeply. "I thought we were past all the drama, apparently not. Before I knew you, before I got under your skin, I always thought you were considerably cool. Now? Not so much, at least not when you're like this. There's too much drama, I'm not good with the drama."
The anticipation of what would happen next was overwhelming. There was no happily ever after when it came to the Chosen Ones. They would never let each other lighten the others' low.
"Is it wrong of me to say that I miss you?" The truth was that Buffy was always missing her. She could be standing right in front of her and she'd be missing her.
"Do you remember how all of this started? It started because of you." Faith was appalled. "How is this my fault? You were the one who got drunk that night, off beer as well if I might add."
Faith felt untouchable
"Don't mock my choice of alcohol beverage. You were the one who almost fucked Kennedy. So don't even try to tell me that it's my fault, when it's obvious that it's you who failed to keep your pants buttoned."
They never planned for it to be this way, but things had gotten so bad between them and they no longer had any control over the situation
"Are you kidding me right now? You were the one who said you wanted to watch! You challenged me, not the other way around. This is all on you, I am not taking the blame for this shit."
Faith felt so alone, even though she was surrounded by people, she felt alone. She belonged to no one and no one was truly hers, not even Buffy.
Faith didn't understand how Buffy was willing to throw it all away, not just their relationship, but everything.
"I envy you Buffy. You have all these people around you. They all love you and respect you more than you will ever know. You have this amazing house, you have this wonderful family and it's all yours. But you don't even care, do you? When it comes down to it, you believe that death is the solution. It's not, it's not the solution to feel Buffy and running away is not even an option. I've seen so much more than you have and you keep looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. This is life, deal with it."