Ok, so I realise I was majorly cruel yesterday in leaving it like that... but in my defence, I was in a mean mood =P.
This is only an extremely short one as I'm exhausted, been one hell of a day and I'm not in a mean mood so leaving it like that for another day just isn't an option.
I'm not so sure about this one, but I'll let you lot be the judge. Just so you know, angst is a coming!
P.S. After the day I had yesterday your comments and reviews really made up for it so thank you so much for cheering me up! I really needed it. =]
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Chapter Twenty One
"Fine..." She shouts, her hands lifting in the air in defeat. She looks at me, her eyes pained, her face distorted slightly,
"When you're ready" I say as it's been a good two or three minutes since she last spoke,
"Doesn't matter" She says, pushing off the counter and walking away, but I grab her, stopping her, she fuses her feet to the floor, her back to me, her arm in my hand,
"Emily" I say quietly, her body slowly turning around to mine, her eyes looking at the floor. My free hand lifts up, pushing her chin up gently so that those eyes look at me, "What are you so scared of?"
"Losing you" I frown, and she laughs, "You're the first real friend I've ever had. All the other's have just been friends with me simply because I'm Katie's twin. They never cared. You do"
"Yeah, I do"
"I'm not used to it. Don't you get it? I'm confused as hell" She says, losing her patience, "You confuse the fuck out of me" I frown, but don't interrupt, "You sit there asking me to tell you how I feel, what I'm thinking, whatever but what you don't understand is I don't know what I'm feeling, I don't know what to think, all of this is new to me, you, sex, everything, I haven't had chance to catch my breath and you're getting mad at me because I can't give you an answer. I wish I had a fucking answer"
"I'm not getting mad"
"You are" She shouts, startling me slightly,
"Ok, I was, but I thought you were just playing me"
"Playing you?" She laughs loudly, "I don't even know how to fucking play somebody Naomi"
"I'm sorry"
"No" She takes a deep breath, calming herself down, "I'm sorry" She takes a step towards me, "I just don't know if what I'm feeling for you is friendship, or if it's more. I'm new to all of this"
"What we did last night... wasn't friendship"
"I know..."
"Talk to me, Em" I take a step forward, pleading with her, "Just talk to me, that's all I ask, just tell me what's on your mind"
"You are... always... I had to come and see you last night, I couldn't stop thinking about you" She frowns, closing her eyes, "Then when I found you... it hurt me. It really did. You were with that girl, and I don't know, I just felt it here" She says, her hand lifting up and pressing down on her heart. Her eyes still closed, "It wasn't a good feeling" I open my mouth to speak, to apologise, to reason with her, but she carries on, "Then when we got here, and we were completely alone I'd forgotten about it. You were there for me, you were a friend and I just really, really wanted to kiss you. It's kind of like an addiction, you know... I felt like I couldn't resist kissing you, I just had to have you, even briefly. You don't understand how hard it was for me not to kiss you after the first time we slept together. It took so much for me to just ignore those feelings"
"And now?" She opens her eyes, a tear falls down her cheek, and I feel myself take a sharp breath as her eyes fill,
"I'm not strong enough to ignore them anymore"
"I don't think it's friendship" I smile, as does she,
"Me neither" She takes a step toward me, our faces barely inches apart, she presses her forehead against mine, her shaky breath brushes against my skin, "Why do you have to be so... so..." She struggles, "You" I laugh briefly,
"I can't help it" She giggles, her eyes closing I reach down and capture her lips. I feel her smile into the kiss, making my heart pound furiously.
It's not a desperate kiss, it's not a sex fuelled kiss, I don't know what kind of kiss it is, but I like it.
We don't stay long in this embrace, pulling away I take in the beauty before me, knowing that I'm not falling for this girl, I've fallen for her. Big, big style. "What happens now?" She asks, and I shrug,
"I'm not sure"
"How about" She bites her lip, "We don't put a label on it... just see where it leads us?" I smile,
"Sounds good to me" I lean in and kiss her quickly before grabbing my now extremely cold toast and buttering it, "Looks like you'll get to try my cold toast" I smirk as I grab hers out of the toaster, layering thick amounts of butter on and passing her a slice. She turns her nose up at it, but takes a bite nonetheless, her nose slowly gets back to normality and she nods slightly,
"Good" She smirks, "But I still like mine hot"
"We'll see" I smile, taking a bite of mine. The next half an hour is spent in silence, Emily flicking through a magazine that my mum's got, while I'm reading the paper. My phone rings from the other side of the room. I run up and answer it, "Lo" I say quickly,
"Naomikins, party" I roll my eyes,
"Morning Cook, I'm good thanks for asking"
"funny twat, you coming or what?"
"It's like... 10 in the morning"
"So?" He says, and I giggle,
"Not today Cookie"
"Ok, I'm coming round then"
"No, no, don't come round" I turn and look at Emily who's frowning,
"I need to know the details Naoms" I can hear him smirking, "Or is she still there?"
"Who?"
"That lass you took to the toilets last night, you bolted after that"
"Oh, no I ditched her"
"Where'd you go?"
"I can't talk about that right now" I smirk, as does Emily,
"You cannot say that"
"I gotta go Cook, speak to you soon" I hang up, laughing, "He'll be round in about ten minutes now" I nod,
"I don't mind him being round you know, I actually like him"
"Don't tell him that, he prides himself on being a heartless prick, only I'm allowed to know different" I say sitting down and resuming my paper.
Ten minutes later...
"Open the fucking door lezza" He's banging on the door and I roll my eyes,
"Aren't you gonna let him in?" She asks, and I shake my head,
"Leave him a minute to stew" She rolls her eyes and gets up, walking to the door she lets him in,
"Bout fucking time- you're not Naomi" He stops and points at Emily, his face a little confused but then soon changing to the biggest grin ever, "Oh aye"
"You coming in or not?" I shout, and he walks in,
"Alright Red?"
"Cook" She nods,
"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asks, sticking his chest out, "Not like I need to ask"
"Shut up Cook" He walks into the kitchen, sitting on the side,
"Somebody tell Cookie what's going on, Cookie confused"
"Emily saved me from that girl last night, and I brought her home with me"
"Awesome" He has that twinkle in his eye which means the inevitable question is about to come out, "So... you guys fuck?" Emily and I both laugh, before Emily blushes, "You so did, Red you gave it away"
"My name is Emily" She says playfully,
"But she calls-"
"Only I'm allowed to call her that" I wink at him,
"Oh, stop, I'm getting images, operation boner will come up soon"
"James" I warn and he holds his hands up,
"What? I'm in the company of two rather sexy lesbians, my mind is running away with me, I am a male after all"
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I know it's short, but falling asleep, so night!