...I wonder what Edward will do...hmmmm

Edward Cullen

Sorrow

Class was about to begin, and Bella still hadn't arrived in class.

She ran off without saying much except that she needed to get something from Alice, but it had been strangely longer than I assumed. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong—that Bella was not alright. And with that feeling—I instantly jumped out of my seat—and began to venture the halls.

I peeked down every corner, not caring that I was carelessly brushing shoulders with everyone without a word. As the warning bell for class went off, the halls began to clear and Bella was still nowhere to be seen.

The fluorescents beat against the silvery-like lockers, and only one stood open.

I saw Alice standing in front of her locker—brushing her hair hastily as she tried to keep her purse on her shoulder. She glanced away from the mirror and smiled spastically as she saw me.

"Hey Eddie! I hope you're not skipping." Her expression became grave, but then I absently shook my head, too preoccupied with my worries to ease her presumptions.

"No…" I trailed off. "Bella said she had to get something from you…I can't find her." Alice's face became confused as she pulled out a textbook from her locker.

"Bella was going to get this from me…but I haven't seen her all day."

The weird feeling grew—and I knew for a fact that something was wrong—even though the proof of that was small. Alice hurried to class as I stood in the empty hall. I called out her name, trying to think of where she might go.

"Hey Cullen! Looking for something?" a husky voice called from behind me. I turned around, seeing a vaguely familiar face—his copper skin standing out against his white tee. I glanced at him again, trying to clear my worries (unsuccessfully) and immediately recognized him as Jacob Black—a football player. Apparently a good one…according to the flaunted medal around his neck. I didn't like this show off already.

"Um, yeah…have you happened to see Bella Swan?" I asked quietly, my voice shaking with the evident worry that was pulsing through my veins.

His eyebrows furrowed in response. "No, if you're worried I'll help you look for her." I nodded, and he walked beside me in the hall. I felt a slight spur of jealousy at the thought that he wanted to help me look for her. But then I realized the thought was irrational and shook it off.

As we were walking—Jacob stalled immediately in front of what seemed to be the girl's bathroom. But his face was scrunched as if he was trying to hear something, and I somewhat heard a whine of some sort buzzing through the rain outside.

"It sounds like someone's crying…" he murmured. Thoughts and memories crushed through every portion of my mind. The night in Bella's room, where if I hadn't been there, she may not even be here. Her bleeding—her sobbing in pain.

"No!" I yelled, turning to run to through door—but Jacob had beaten me to it. Now he would too know Bella's secret, and he would see her bleeding herself away.

"Hey!" he yelled furiously, disappearing into the bathroom. I followed after him, breaking out into a run.

As I turned the corner, I saw him prying a familiar head of strawberry curls from a limp, mangled body.

The blood, oh the blood…

"Bella!" My vision blackened for a moment, my whole body feeling numb. But the next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor, Bella's swollen face propped in the crook of my neck. Her face was smeared with crimson, and I furiously fought back the most persistent of tears. I looked across the room, where Jacob had Tanya locked by her shoulders. I could hear her string of profanities, mostly directed toward me, but compared, I could not interpret them.

Time passed strangely, moving slow, but so fast too. I couldn't find the will to say anything but her name, but I had somehow moved her even though I too was limp. I felt as if I was in shock—like I was the one who was just violently beaten. Both Bella and Tanya were taken in two different ambulances, one going to the hospital, the other…a mental hospital. I stood outside the school dumbstruck, many gathered around me asking questions. I couldn't take my eyes of my hands.

My palms sickeningly smeared with Bella's fresh red blood. My stomach sank as my eyes moved across my white shirt, the blood stains shaped like her tiny snow white hands. My chest began to heave soundlessly, and a pushed myself away from the mob of children as I tried to regain my sanity.

She'd already been in the hospital, but this time it was my fault.

Tanya would have never snapped if I had never taken an interest in Bella, never fallen in love with her. If I had just remained the way I was, Bella would be safe from my troubles. Safe from Tanya.

Maybe she would be better off without me. Maybe my involvement in her life only added to her grief. Made both of our lives more complicated.

I considered the possibilities, the options that us not being together would and will hold. Maybe at first it would be painful, and maybe it would be a nightmare for a long time. But the long term benefit—Bella wouldn't be stuck with me.

I stared into the gloom of the sky—the clouds a darker grey then I remembered.

I was no prize—nothing to be sought after. It wasn't even sure why Bella even considered loving me in the first place. Like I had contemplated so many times before—I was broken. And she may have stitched me up, but the horrific scars will always remain. The scars that she has been forced to live with.

Would she hurt herself if I was gone? Was it possible that I was the truest most defined reason that she stopped? I couldn't imagine the fact being true.

I closed my eyes, automatically seeing Bella's face in my mind. I imagined her eyes lighting up every time she saw me…and peered into the awaiting darkness.

Bella, I tried mentally, the beautiful delusion saddening as she knew the words that were to be thought. We can't be together. I don't want you. I forced back the illusion as it became saddened, angry, furious even. But it stuck in my mind.

My stomach ripped even though the words were thought. Memories of Bella crying pained me even more—and I felt my knees grows weak and tremble under me.

I fell to the ground, my palms crushing into the soggy soil.

"I don't want you," I whispered, practicing so hard to make it sound true. But even my voice was shaking with uncertainly, the blasphemy even making me edgy though there were no ears to listen to them.

"Edward!" Alice called, running across the soggy ground to me. I looked up to her face, and she had the most horrified expression. She crouched at my side, and ran her fingers through my hair, which was soaked from an earlier downpour.

"I'm covered…with her," I whispered, looking to my blood smeared hands once again. She took me by the arm, and pulled my empty and limp self away.

She nodded, wrapping her arms comfortingly around me, but I couldn't find the will to return the gesture. She had to be in pain too, Bella was her best friend.

But no doubt I loved her a hundred times more.

"We need to change you, but then we're going to go see Bella." I said not a word, because another word could sway the thoughts of others when my plan would follow through.

I don't want you. I repeated the words in my mind, but no repetition or action could ever actually make them as true as they needed to be.

This is just everyday Edward. New Moon anybody?

Review :)