Chapter 20

A/N: Hey guys. Thank you to SunshineKacy, Sophiecambellbower, Cantstopwontstopfangirling, Fangirl89723, Ella (guest), Neilah (guest), Cheshire15, FanFirlingRightThisMoment, and TrinityLightwood (guest) for reading my author's notes!

And thank you to all of you guys that made my day with your amazing reviews. I'm glad there are still people like you guys in the world that will take a few minutes to make some else smile. You guys rock.

This chapter is still a little short, but I've been busy with school so sorry. Next chapter will be longer I promise.

Clary POV

I sit on the bathroom counter as Jace gets the bandages. He rinses off my hand and I wince. Damn it that hurt. He started wrapping it very carefully.

"Are you okay?" he asks, breaking the silence that has been present since we left Kaelie on the sidewalk.

"I'm fine," I say. He looks at me then.

"I know you're not," he said, staring into my eyes. It was then that I broke down. The tears started falling and I started sobbing. He pulled me to him and I buried my face in his neck. I was sobbing loudly and I probably didn't seem very attractive but I didn't care. I stayed like that, sobbing for what seemed like forever, soaking Jace's t-shirt in my tears.

"How can you even like me?" I whisper quietly. He pulls back and grabs my face between his hands, wiping away my pathetic tears with his thumbs.

"I love you Clary, and I will always love you. Nothing will change that," he says, resting his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and try to process his words.

"I love you too, but I just have too much baggage and drama. I cause too many problems," I say, trying to make him understand. "You're too good for me," I say.

"That is not true!" he says, his voice rising a little. "I understand that what you went through changed you. And I get that. But you are not damaged. I am not leaving you no matter what you do, or what you say! I will help you through this," he finishes. New tears fall, but I nod in understanding. He wasn't going anywhere. He nods once and gives me a gentle, slow kiss. I kiss him back eagerly, wanting anything to distract me from what's going on. The kiss got heated quickly, and Jace picked me up and brought me to my room. He closed the door and locked it. Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered what was happening right now, and what would happen if I didn't stop this. But I didn't stop it.

We landed on the bed and things just got more and more heated from there until eventually there was nothing standing between us.

o.O.o.O.o

I wake up and the first thing I registered was the soreness in my... lower region. I remember what happened but I don't regret anything. Jace is missing from my bed and I kind of remember him leaving my room when I was half asleep.

The sun is starting to set, and it's about 6:30. I get up slowly and put some comfy clothes on. I throw my sheets in my laundry basket and take the basket downstairs. I go into the laundry room and throw my stuff in the wash. I hear faint talking and I follow the voices into the kitchen.

Jon is sitting at the table and mom is putting some dinner on the table. She looks up when I come in and smiles at me.

"Hey honey. Perfect timing, dinner's ready. You've been sleeping for a little while. I thought I'd let you sleep, since you haven't been getting much lately," she said. She sits down and I follow suit.

I look up at Jon and see he's already looking at me, his head tilted a little as if he was reading my thoughts. God I hope not. He's usually really good at reading me so I do my best to act as if nothing was different. Because truthfully I don't feel any different.

We eat in silence, everyone minding our own business.

"What happened to your hand?" Jon asks. Oh yeah... I forgot about that.

I look down, not knowing how to go about this. I say one thing. "Kaelie." I look up and he seems to understand. Mom, however, seems completely lost.

"I don't understand," she says, confirming my assumption.

"I punched a girl named Kaelie in the face," I say. Jocelyn looked at me, but not like she was angry.

"Why?" she asked.

"She was making fun of me and she said some really rude things," I say, looking down. I didn't want to see the disappointment in her eyes. But that isn't what I got at all.

"Served the bitch right," she said. My head whips up and Jon starts choking on his drink. "No one bullies my daughter. Especially in times like these." I crack a smile and Jon does too and then we all start laughing.

We finish dinner while talking about our days. And quite honestly, as much as it hurts to say this, everyone seems happier now that Valentine's gone. He always seemed to kill the happiness in everyone's eyes, even if he didn't mean to. But after what he did to me, I wouldn't be surprised if he did do it on purpose.

"Don't forget you have therapy tomorrow Clary," my mom says, bringing me out of my reverie. I look up and my happy mood slowly burns out. I forgot, with everything that's been going on, that I still had terrible nightmares every night. My smile disappears and my mom looks at me with sadness in her eyes.

"Oh, yeah. What time do I have to be there?" I ask while trying to get past the lump in my throat.

"I'm bringing you over there 9:30. The session starts at 10:00," she says giving me a sad smile. I nod my head I understanding. We finish dinner in silence, the good mood killed.

When I'm finished with my dinner I put my plate in the sink and go up to my room. I decide to take a shower so I grab some clothes and a towel and head to the bathroom.

Once the shower is on and the bathroom is steaming up, I take off my clothes and hop in. The hot water hits my scarred back and I yelp in pain. My hands ball into fists as I try to hold in my cries of pain. I stand tense under the water until I start to get used to it. I release a breath and lean my forehead against the cold tiles of the shower wall. I cry silently to myself, giving myself the relief of not having to hold it in. I get a thought, and tell myself to remember it for later. I think back to what happened when Valentine took me and tortured me. I can still feel the pain as if it happened yesterday. I ban those thoughts from my mind for the time being and focus on getting cleaned.

I wash my hair and my body making sure to be careful around my back. When I finish I shut the water off and grab my towel to dry myself off. I takes a little while to put my clothes on without hurting myself, but eventually I get the job done. By now the mirror isn't fogged up anymore, so I stare into my reflection. I remember everything that happened when I was with Valentine, what happened earlier, what happened with Kaelie. Its just too much. I feel a churning in my stomach and just barely make it to the toilet before I throw up my dinner. After heaving for a few minutes I flush the toilet and sit back against the wall. I used to get sick when I was younger when I got really stressed out. I guess old habits die hard.

I clean myself off and leave the bathroom. After dropping my dirty clothes off at my room I head over to Jon's. I knock on his door and hear a faint "come in." I open the door and see Jon on his bed, looking at his computer screen.

"Hey," he says, closing his laptop and putting it to the side.

"Hey," I say back. I sit in front of him on his bed.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Can you do me a favor?" I ask, thinking back to my thought during my shower.

"Sure. Is everything alright?" he asks, a small crease forming between his brows.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I was just wondering if you could take me somewhere tomorrow after therapy?" I ask him.

"Sure, where?" he asks. So I explain to him what I want and he agrees. I say goodnight and go back to my room. I don't waste any time getting in bed, shutting off the light and going to sleep.

o.O.o.O.o

"You're such a disappointment!" he screamed at me for the hundredth time.

"No I'm not!" I scream back at him. He backhands me, causing my head to whip to the side. My vision blurs momentarily but I blink it away. I spit in his face and he kicks my side. I bite down on my lip to keep from screaming.

"DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME! You answer to me!" he screamed at me. His fist flies towards my face, bring me quickly to oblivion.

o.O.o.O.o

I wake with a start, my breathing heavy. I notice my mom is in the doorway, which causes my to jump slightly. I was hoping she didn't see it but from the expression on her face I can tell she did.

"I didn't mean to startle you," she said softly.

"It's okay," I say.

"It's 9:00. You should probably start getting ready," she said, giving me a sad smile and leaving my room, closing the door behind her. I let out a breath and get up to get ready for the long day ahead of me.

Please review! Next chapter will be therapy and Clary and Jon's secret plans!