Spock materialised in his father's house on Vulcan, weary to the bone. He had not slept in days, nor touched Gillian's mind in weeks. He had not dared. He craved his bond mate's presence and he could not risk it. He had given his word to T'Pau he would keep the bond closed unless Gillian gave him permission and in his present state he could not guarantee he would not lapse again while he slept. He still had the task of telling his father his eldest son was now dead. He had not needed to tell Jim Kirk that this was a task he had to complete face to face. Jim had set the course for Vulcan before getting Uhura to open the comm channels to Earth.
Hot dry air surrounded him. It was agreeable to be comfortable for once and he could feel his muscles relax. He stood in the atrium, the large metal doors in front of him, stone ceiling high above with corridors leading off to the main parts of the house. A faint breeze stirred the hangings and brought the smell of his mother's rose garden and the distant tinkle of flowing water. A soft continual susurration caused by the sand hitting the shield and falling onto the ground was soothing to his ears. He turned at a familiar footfall behind him. "Spock," said Sarek's voice. His father approached in his usual calm manner hands folded over the front of his robes. The security system would have alerted him to Spock's use of the transporter.
"Father," he responded. Now the moment was here, he wished it wasn't. An illogical thought, he pushed it away. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled it. "I have news from our latest mission."
"I have read the reports you sent," Spock knew his father well enough to tell he was puzzled, though a stranger would not.
"There is information I withheld from the reports." Sarek stilled, not breathing. He had no doubt deduced what Spock was going to say, there was only one bit of information Spock would need to give him in private. "The identity of the cult leader was one who was known to me. His name was Sybok." An anguished cry broke from Amanda and she rushed forward from the hallway to grip Sarek's arm. Sarek himself remained still and silent. The Reldai had broken all familial bonds to Sybok on his exile from Vulcan. Unlike with Spock, Sarek would not have known for sure whether his eldest son still loved, or the moment he died.
He could say nothing else. There could be no formalities for a person, who no longer existed, it was inappropriate. That Sarek should have this moment here, in private, with his wife for support was the only concession Spock could grant.
The three formed a frozen tableau, broken by Sarek unclasping his hands and placing his arms in a comforting manner around his wife. She had been Sybok's stepmother after all and had raised him for several years. And comforting her gave Sarek something to do. Spock excused himself to the nearest comm console and informed T'Pau, who thanked him for the information and stated her intention to visit. Spock found this intriguing; he had not thought she would seek to comfort her son directly. Perhaps she grew sentimental in her old age. He checked the computer access records which informed him the other occupants of the house were still at work or otherwise absent.
He hesitated before returning to the atrium. It was bound to be an uncomfortable emotional scene. He was incorrect, he entered an empty room. His parents had left, to their bedroom no doubt, so Amanda could console her husband. Thus, it was over and done, the moment he had been dreading. There was still more, but the worst was past. He could count on T'Para not to react emotionally to his news, although he had hoped to secure Gillian's affections before having this conversation. He still had to visit Saavik. He had not written to her since he left Vulcan four months ago, he had been unable to articulate his emotional reactions to anything that had happened since his death.
He took the ancient stone stairs to his childhood room, where he meditated, sorting through his thoughts and reactions to the events since the 'Enterprise' left Earth. It was easier now with one source of stress removed. Sybok's appearance had triggered memories from deep within his psyche. Memories buried deeply during the fal-tor-pan on a subject which remained unmentioned since he was twelve. He had stared at the terrorist on the screen in front of him and known…something. Sybok stared at the screen and his mind had reeled with the onslaught of memories. It had been a struggle to maintain a façade of calm to cover his internal confusion.
He could feel the bond to McCoy in his mind, part of his concentration devoted to holding it shut. Bonded Vulcans were immune to a lot of mental tampering including the ancient, forbidden technique Sybok used to acquire his followers. Spock had known what memory haunted McCoy as soon as Sybok said his pain was the strongest. The memory had been overwhelming as he watched McCoy relive the worst moment in his life and struggled with both sympathy and the urge to do violence to Sybok to stop him. He hadn't fought his emotional reaction to watching McCoy grieve over his role in his father's death, had reached out and let the t'hy'la bond reform, counting on him not to alert Sybok.
Then Sybok had turned to him and pressed his mind against Spock's. Spock fought briefly but yielded. He had matched minds with Sybok before and come off second best. It was illogical to waste his strength. Sybok's mind probed his and he pushed forward some of his memories and fears. Sybok exulted and grabbed them. They were the ones he expected, Spock's childhood fears he was too human to be worthy of his father's admiration. They were still there but distant, the pain faded now beneath Sarek's recent praise. So recent Sybok would not know of it, the holo-novelists had not yet released their latest offering. He judged Sybok would attribute the lack of emotion to the fal-tor-pan rather than the real reason.
Spock had allowed Sybok access to part of his mind, his attention on concealing the active bonds from detection. Once the Compulsive Bond was in place, the pressure of Sybok's mind eased. Spock swept most of it from his mind, leaving enough that his actions would not be detectable. He stared at McCoy, pressed against the wall and felt his comprehension as his free will returned to him. McCoy had followed Spock's lead, urging Jim to reconsider, knowing he would not let Sybok touch him. Then he stayed behind on the pretence of further persuasion.
The security system alerted him to the entrance of T'Pau's air car through the gates of the enclosure. He calculated the time from the end of the com call. She must have been closer than the Main House to be here by now. Had she been en route? It was possible she had known of his appointment with Sarek. No one kept information from the Clan Matriarch if she wanted it.
He watched the formal procession of her body guards up the stairs. T'Pau's rigid upright form followed them, she eschewed the litter today. The First Attendant T'Lind left the driver in the front seat and took her position three steps behind her. He knelt and bowed his head as she entered the Atrium.
"You may rise, child of Sarek." She stared at his face as he did so. "I presume you have come here to sort out your marital arrangements."
"That would be a logical use of my time," he agreed.
"Yes," said T'Pau. "Your wife is in my air car."
Spock had not expected this development. "Gillian is here, on Vulcan?"
"Logic dictates she must be," said T'Pau "Or she could not be in my air car. Are you still set on this course of action?"
"I am," he said, following her to the top of the stairs. The guard opened the car door at T'Pau's nod. Gillian's blonde head peered out of the doorway, followed by the rest of her. She laughed in excitement, looking around at the courtyard. She then dropped to her knees to run her hands through the red dirt of Vulcan. T'Pau would have had to have kept the windows darkened to have Gillian's attention on the journey from the spaceport. Gillian would otherwise have found the sights of Vulcan to be more interesting than speaking to T'Pau. Saavik followed behind her and urged her to her feet. Gillian stood, letting the red dust trail through her fingers, brushing her pants clean.
Spock tried to see her as T'Pau would, without emotion clouding her point of view but found it difficult. He could only see his beloved here, come to see him. It was important for her to make a good impression on T'Pau. She had the authority to sanction the marriage or not. His mother had been Sarek's consort, not his official wife, for many years before T'Pau relented. He wanted an official acknowledgement for Gillian.
She had cut her beautiful blonde hair short the week before he left Earth. He had been devastated, though she had done it for him. He had expressed the opinion that curling her straight hair with chemicals for fashion reasons was illogical. He had meant she shouldn't have it treated again, not that she should cut off all the permed parts, leaving a scant two inches of baby fine hair. She wore a brown tailored tunic and matching slacks, now dusty at the knees and carried a small rectangular bag across her shoulder. As she took the stairs, she slid something from her hand into the bag, a rock perhaps.
She took the steps two at a time and arrived at the top panting, a light sheen of sweat across her forehead, Saavik close behind her in Starfleet uniform. Greetings exchanged, they retired to a nearby parlour where the servants had prepared refreshments. Spock was still pouring tea when Sarek and Amanda arrived, necessitating another round of formalities. They all waited for T'Pau to begin.
"The bond between T'Para and Spock was severed at his death. Death is usually considered to sever a marriage permanently but it is also usual for the deceased to remain that way." Gillian choked a little on the pastry she was eating, swallowing the mouthful she had and placing the remainder back on the plate. "After previous successful fal-to-pans, the couple have asked to be rebonded as soon as possible. This was not done in this case." Spock watched Gillian intently. He suspected her expression was what passed for emotionless for her but she did not look pleased, and wrapped her arms over her midsection.
"Spock tells me when he assisted Dr Taylor with a mind meld between her and the Cetaceans, a marital bond formed when Dr Taylor went too far into the meld and he was compelled to rescue her. It is thus my judgement the marriage between Spock and T'Para is null. T'Para has the status of a widow of this clan with all attendant rights and responsibilities." She turned and addressed Dr Taylor "I have clarified your situation. You may leave us now. There is official clan business to attend to." Gillian looked shocked at this abrupt dismissal and opened her mouth as if to protest. Spock tensed and prepared to cut her off, one did not disobey the Clan Matriarch. Gillian must have rethought her strategy, she stood, nodded to T'Pau, spun on her heel and left. A technical breach of etiquette, she had not made the appropriate salutations to the Matriarch, but an understandable one for a woman who had no training in Vulcan rules.