A/N Goooooood evening my beautiful readers :) Sorry this has taken so long to update! I've been so stressed it's unreal D: I hope you're all in fabulous moods. My kidney's okay! WOOP. Thank you all so much for your reviews, I love knowing what you think! Also if you want to follow me on twitter my name's EleanorMCRdeRoy – ask for a follow back! : ) Hope you like the chapter, SHIT'S GOING DOWNNNN, let me know what you think! Again, there's some of my poetry in this chapter, lemme know what you think of that too :')

Blue
Xo

Chapter 21 – The only hope for me is you

I averted my gaze, blinking several times. Wishing, hoping, praying that what I'd seen wasn't real.

It couldn't be.

Of course it couldn't be.

Could it?

They wouldn't!

Would they?

I lifted my eyes to stare straight at it, my heart sunk, it was there, as sturdy as a rock. I couldn't hold in my disgust and despair any longer. I turned my face to the bushes by the side of the road and the contents of my stomach spilled over, coating the dry leaves in the vulgar substance.

"Gerard? What's wrong?" Mikey asked, patting his hand on my back. He sounded breathless, as if he'd run over towards me.

I couldn't bring myself to speak, and so instead, lifted my hand shakily and pointed my finger towards the wooden pole protruding sickeningly out of the frosted lawn of our house.

"What the-?" Mikey started, clearly too shocked to comment any further. I lifted my hazy head up slowly to stare furiously at the 'SOLD' sign that was invading our front lawn.

"It can't be for our house" Mikey muttered more to himself than to me.

"Mikey, it's' in our front lawn. Who else is it going to be for?" I replied through my teeth. The anger was searing through me. How could our parents have put our house up for sale without even telling us? I steadied myself before storming towards the black front door, Mikey trailing behind. I slammed the door open and stormed into the living room, where my Mom and Dad seemed to be waiting for us.

"What the hell is going on?" I screamed at the two of them, sat side by side. They didn't even flinch, didn't even tell me off for shouting. They just looked at me with blank expressions, my hands balled up into fists. If they hadn't answered me, I'm pretty sure I would've punched something, or worse, someone.

"Gerard, Michael, you both need to sit down" Mom said calmly motioning for both of us to sit down on the opposite couch. I knew the situation was serious as my Mom barely ever called Mikey, Michael. Mikey must've noticed it too as he quietly sat down.

"Why are we moving?" I demanded as I slumped down into the old couch.

"Gerard. I saw the note attached to the brick" As soon as the words left my Mom's lips, I remembered the single word the coward had scrawled onto a single sheet of paper. The revolting word 'faggot' permanently inked in my brain. I swallowed the bile that had begun to rise up my throat. My attempt at hiding the note was clearly a failed endeavour.

"We shouldn't move because of that" I spat, my voice coming out hoarse from the anger that was flooding through me.

"Gerard. That's only one of the reasons" My Dad said, his hands placed in his lap, willing me to calm down with his tone of voice. But I couldn't calm down. How could I? They were dragging me away from my home, my friends, my boyfriend! And they didn't even think to discuss it with me and Mikey? I didn't think I'd ever be able to forgive them.

"Your Grandma's ill" Dad continued, attempting to keep his voice at an even level and failing. Mom quickly placed her hand on his knee in encouragement. He shook his head as if to clear away the tears that were forming.

"Your Grandmother's ill. Very ill. We're moving to stay near her, she needs her family around her" Mom spoke for Dad, who had his eyes focused on the small coffee stain on the floor.

"That's the main reason as to why we're moving, but to be honest Gerard, someone broke our window, they could be planning something that may actually harm this family. I'm not prepared to wait around to find out" Mom stated, speaking quickly so that I couldn't interrupt. I couldn't leave. I just couldn't. My Grandma lived in New York, I didn't want to be that far away from Frank.

"How could you do this without telling us?" I asked venomously, I couldn't believe our parents had managed to go behind our backs with something as big as this. Surely we had a right to know?

"We put the house up for sale on the internet and held viewings when you were both at school. We didn't want to tell you because if it didn't sell we would've told you for no reason." Mom paused to look at my father who was still staring intently at that coffee stain.

"But it did sell, a young couple put in an offer that we'd be stupid to refuse. They were stuck between this house and another a few blocks down, but apparently ours was more suitable so they put the offer in and we accepted. We leave tomorrow morning" She spoke quickly, avoiding my eye contact.

"I can't go" I hissed, anger and desperation flowing through my veins, clouding my vision. Looking back at it, I could've acted calmer with my parents but I just didn't want to leave Frank so soon after we'd gotten together. He was the best thing to have ever happened in my life and I couldn't just get up and leave. Mikey seemed to be in shock, his eyes were wide and I could've sworn I saw him blink back tears.

"You don't have a choice" My Mom spoke as if she was trying to retain some tranquillity in her voice, but I could sense her irritation with my 'irrational' behaviour. I couldn't take it anymore; I got up and stormed down to my basement bedroom, making sure I slammed the door as loud as I could.

A variety of different emotions ran through my body, anger was the most prominent, but as I lay quietly on my bed, breathing in and out slowly, attempting to calm myself, the anger began to subside. Desperation was the next feeling to fill the void that the anger had left. And finally, I felt despair. The whole thing was hopeless, I should never have expected for me and Frank to live a fairytale ending. It just doesn't work like that. But whenever I felt desperation, I'd put pen to paper. And that's exactly what I decided to do, I would write Frank that poem, or at least attempt to write it.

I sauntered over to my desk and pushed all of the crumpled pieces of paper out of the way before opening my writing pad and grabbing a pen. I pictured Frank in my mind, his spiky black hair, his glistening hazel eyes, his shining lip ring and his perfect physique as I began writing my poem. I couldn't prevent the feeling of loss that travelled through my heart and spilled out onto the paper in front of me.

'If there's a place that I could be,
Then I'd be another memory,
Can I be the only hope for you?
Because you're the only hope for me.

If you feel at all distant, remember I'm here,
No matter how far, in your heart , I am near.
Just call out my name and I'll follow your voice,
Whatever you choose, you have made the right choice.

I love you more than my words can explain,
No matter the heartache, the tears and the pain.

And if we can't find where we belong,
We'll have to make it on our own,
Face all the pain and take it on,
Because the only hope for me is you alone.

And if you stay, I would even wait all night,
or until my heart explodes.
How long? Until we find our way,
In the dark and out of harm,'

I tapped my pen on my desk out of pure exasperation; I wasn't sure how to finish the poem. It was just so typical that I'd structure the poem and not be able to finish it. I was about to give up when suddenly, something Frank had said to me when I'd first met him hit me like a lightning bolt. It was perfect. I quickly jotted down the last line, bringing the poem to a perfect close.

'You can runaway with me, anytime you want'

I stared at the writing on the paper for a while. I was proud of my work, but I couldn't help but feel down. I didn't want to have to give Frank the poem because I didn't want to have to leave him. But it was inevitable; I'd have to go wherever my parents went.

I glanced towards the clock that was perched on my desk and was shocked that it was already 7pm. I always got carried away when I began writing and the time would just slip through my fingers. Mom and Dad would be calling me for dinner soon, even though I really didn't want to speak to them at that moment in time. But I'd have to figure out some way to be civil with them.

I fumbled around in my bottom drawer where I'd stored a load of blank envelopes back when I had a pen-pal from England I'd met on holiday years ago. I wasn't quite sure how exactly we'd lost touch, but I used to really enjoy writing to him and ranting about my day. I pulled out an A4 brown paper envelope and placed it in front of me. I picked up a clean sheet of paper and quickly jotted down, 'Happy Birthday Frank' before slipping both sheets of paper into the envelope. However, before I sealed the packet, I had a brain wave.

I ran upstairs, ignoring my parent's efforts to start a conversation and went straight to the kitchen cabernet, where I instantly found exactly what I was looking for. Satisfied, I ran down the stairs to my room, shut the door quickly behind me and headed straight to my desk once again. Without a hesitation I hurriedly, disconnected the two items and popped the key in the envelope. I added five more words to the sheet of paper wishing Frank a Happy Birthday.

'The key to my heart'

Yes, looking back at it, it was rather cheesy, but I wanted to show Frank just how much he meant to me. I sealed the envelope and left the lock next to it. I scribbled Frank's name onto the front of the envelope and sat back in my chair pleased with my efforts. I was forced out of my daydream by the sudden vibration of my phone. I whipped it out quickly and my heart skipped a beat when I saw who was calling me.

"Frank" I whispered, trying my hardest to hold back my tears. Hearing his voice was like music to my ears.

"Hey, I can't talk for too long, I'm almost at my Grandparents and you know what they're like with phones" Frank laughed into his speaker. Was it possible that I already missed him?

"How are you?" He asked, starting the conversation with the usual greetings.

"I'm okay, I guess, you?" I asked, I didn't really want to go into detail about the move just yet. I knew I'd have to tell him, but it'd be nice to just be able to talk to him, like this whole thing wasn't happening.

"The same. I miss you already Gee" Frank sighed and I wanted nothing more than to run to him and embrace him in the biggest hug imaginable.

"I miss you too Frank" I replied, my heartstrings began tugging in my chest.

"Frank, I'm moving" I blurted, unable to stop myself. There was silence on the other end of the phone, I wished I could've held on to tell him but I couldn't. He needed to know and he needed to know now.

"Frank?" I asked, worried that he'd hung up.

"W-What do you mean you're moving?" He whispered, his voice breaking. I felt terrible; I didn't ever want to cause Frank pain. I loved him so much that I'd do anything to prevent him from any harm.

"My parents. They're worried, my Grandma's ill, we're moving to stay near her. I just found out" I said quickly, biting back my depression.

"When do you go?" Frank stuttered, I could tell he was trying to be strong but I could hear that he was fighting back tears.

"Tomorrow" I couldn't help the tears that began flowing freely from my eyes. My chest stung and my heart ached, I couldn't leave Frank, I had to find a way around it. I couldn't just leave, I'd never felt like that towards anyone before. I'd never believed in soul mates until I'd met Frank.

I needed to say it.

I needed to get it off my chest.

I needed to tell Frank I loved him.

But then the phone line went dead.