DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.

I just want to say thanks for all the positive comments for the last chapter. I had serious writers' block while writing it, so all of your comments really made it worth the while. And...because of those comments, I'm not going to change it. A lot of people have said that it fits in with Edward's perspective and how his mind is functioning at that point in time. And though I know I won't be happy with that chapter, I'm going to go with the readers' opinions, because, that's why I'm writing this story. For you guys to read. Thanks peeps.

EPOV

I woke up the next day with my head still nuzzled into Bella's shoulder, and I breathed in her sweet scent, smiling into her hair, savouring it while it lasted.

I laid there for a moment, thinking over what happened the previous night, not really believing that it had happened.

I had acted like a child yesterday. I knew that I should have handled it better than I did, but nothing that went through my head was making any sense at all. In looking back, I could see that what I had done was wrong. I should have spoken to my family about what I was feeling and thinking, but something inside of me told me that I couldn't do that. That they would judge me even more than they already did, that the leash they had me on - even if I hadn't realised it was there until only yesterday - would be wound even tighter as they made me believe that they were only concerned about my welfare and not scared shitless that I was going to do something to hurt myself again.

Truth be told, I hadn't thought about hurting myself. Not in the way that I had done before the clinic. I still hadn't come to the conclusion of whether it was my mind or the medication that was bringing that to life. I didn't know. And something told me that I wasn't ever going to find out. I was always going to be on some form of anti-depressant. Whether it was strong, as it was now, or milder as I got further and further into my recovery, there would always be some sort of pill in my future, sitting there in its bottle, waiting to cloud my mind and shield me from my own emotions.

Again, there was another force that was controlling me.

I was beginning to think - again - that I wouldn't ever have complete control over my life. There would always be something else there, something taking the control away from me. Telling me what to do, what to think and what to feel.

The only one that let me think and feel for myself had her arms wrapped around me. She knew. She knew that if I was to really recover, and stop these thoughts that were forming inside my mind, that I would have to be let alone to figure them out for myself. She never bugged me about anything, other than last night, when she knew that there was something I needed to talk about, and yet, given the choice, wouldn't. She knew when to leave me be and when to push for answers. She always seemed to know what buttons to push, in what sequence and when to push them.

Even though I knew it was her, pushing those buttons, it never felt like it was. That was the beauty of Bella. She made me feel as though it was all my doing. On some level I was thankful of that. She knew that I needed to feel in control, even if on some level I wasn't. She never let on that she was doing this on purpose, because she knew what it was that I needed. She knew the things I needed to talk about most, and when to talk about them.

I thanked the world every day for Bella.

She was my saviour.

She stirred next to me and her eyes fluttered open. I watched as her eyes focused, looking deep into mine as they always did, boring into my soul and a small smile formed on her face.

"Morning, baby." She whispered softly.

"Morning, love." I whispered back as I ran my hand through her hair gently.

"Are you okay?" She asked gently, as she brushed those stubborn hairs out of my eyes, failing miserably. I didn't know. Was I okay? I honestly didn't know the answer to that question. I knew that she wouldn't believe me if I told her that I was.

"I don't know." I whispered and her face fell ever so slightly. "After everything that happened yesterday, I just don't know."

"Oh baby." She gently brushed the backs of her fingers against my cheek before pressing her palm to my face. "It'll be okay."

"How do you know?" I looked into her eyes and tried searching for some kind of answer within them. I didn't find anything in there that I could use. I closed my eyes slowly and sighed, pressing my face into her palm.

"Because I know you." She said stubbornly, shaking my face ever so slightly, making me open my eyes again. "And I know that you won't give up. Not without a fight that is. I know that you, Edward Cullen, won't go down without a fight, and do you know how I know that?" I shook my head as much as I could with her hand still in place on my face. "Because I believe in you. I know it sounds corny, but it's true." I choked out a sob-like-laugh, doing the best I could to keep the tears from falling again and she grinned at me. "I know that you can do anything when you put your mind to it. You know why?" I shook my head again. "Because....you," She touched the end of my nose. "Are one of the stubbornist asses I know." She giggled as she pressed her lips to mine and I felt a small smile cross my face.

"I hope so." I whispered.

She kissed my forehead and began running her hand through my hair again. "You know," She mumbled against my forehead. "You have to talk to your family." I pulled my head away from her, sure that the panic and pain was clear in my eyes and expression. "They're really worried about you."

I sighed gently. "I know. I just don't know how to face them again." I bit my bottom lip, a habit that I had involuntarily picked up from Bella.

"You're strong enough to." She whispered reassuringly. "I know you are."

She smiled at me and I gave her a small smile back.

Something clicked just then. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for school." She grinned and shook her head. "How come?"

"I'm not going today." She said smugly. "I'm staying here. With you."

"Bella." I moaned. I hated when she did this. She was giving up what she needed for me. Again. And I hated when she did that. "You can't do that. Your schoolwork is important. You know that." I sighed again, closing my eyes. "You need to go to school."

"Not a chance." She said, stubbornly. I hated when she used this tone. It meant that there was no way that she was going to listen to anything that I was going to say. I knew that tone well. It was one I had used many many times before. "I'm not going anywhere today, Edward. I know my schoolwork is important, but I can catch up on schoolwork, but you." She poked my nose again, a little harder than before. "You are more important to me. I know you don't want to talk about it, but I am leaving soon. I don't have a choice. I can't help but think that that has something to do with how you're feeling now."

I looked her in the eyes, astonished at how she could think that. "No!" I almost yelled. "No. It has nothing to do with that." She didn't look me in the eyes. I pulled her hand away from my face and put my finger underneath her chin, bringing her head and her eyes to look at me. "No, Bella. I know how you want to blame yourself. I know because it's something that I've been doing for a long time."

The face that she gave me let me know that nothing I was going to say was going to change her mind, so I let it drop. For now. She knew that I wasn't happy about her ditching school so that she could sit and mollycoddle me. I hated it actually.

I didn't want her grades to slip because of me. I didn't want her future to disappear or at least be severely altered by her wanting to look after me all the time. If there was any way to make me feeling like a burden, that was the way.

"Come on," She said, suddenly, sitting up abruptly. "Let's get you some breakfast."

"I'm not hungry." I said quietly, not looking at her.

"Even if you weren't lying I wouldn't care." She said smugly, taking hold of my chin and turning my head so I had to look up at her. "You need to eat. You've come too far to let everything slip away so easily." I sighed. "Sigh at me all you want. You're eating breakfast mister." She poked me in the chest lightly and I had to smile at her attempt at being menacing. It really didn't work. All that happened was that she pouted at it made her look even cuter than she already did. I rolled my eyes at her and chuckled at her. "No eye rolling either." My smile fell off my face and I pouted at her. She grinned and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. "Don't worry. I know that the others haven't left yet, so I'll go down and make you some breakfast. I'll convince Carlisle to let you eat it up here." She stood up and turned back around to face me. "With my supervision of course." She grinned at me with a subtle glint in her eye. I knew that she wouldn't really "supervise me" as she'd put it. It was just something that she would tell Carlisle, so that he would allow me to eat away from the gaze of my family. Something that she would be able to do easily. Hell, she had every member of my family wrapped around her little finger. They would do anything she asked them to do.

I knew that it was because of me that they trusted and loved her so much. It was because of all the help that she'd given me. I feared that I would never be able to pay her back for all of her kindness and her love. But I would work on it for as long as she would let and would love me.

As I waited for her to come back up I laid back on my bed and dozed. I didn't let any substantial run through my head, as I knew that anything like that would cause me to overthink and panic about what was going on around me. Something I really didn't want at the moment.

I heard her shuffling back up the stairs and I watched as the door handle jiggled slightly as she struggled with. She must have been successful in getting Carlisle to agree to us, or me at least, to eat up here.

I watched her open the door and saw that she had a tray balanced on her arm. She looked up at me and smiled, that beautiful blush that I loved so much creeping up her cheeks. She looked down as if to concentrate on what she was doing but I knew her too well so I knew that she was really avoiding eye contact with me. I knew that if she maintained eye contact then she would get even more embarrassed and probably end up tripping and adding even more food to the noodles that were already on the floor.

She locked the door again, and laid the tray down on my bed. I sat up and looked at what she had brought up, smiling as I did so.

She had made oatmeal. One of my safe foods since I came out of the clinic. When in the clinic they had worked with me to create a list of foods that I considered "safe" for times like these. Times when I wasn't feeling so strong, but I knew that I needed to eat. Oatmeal was one of these foods. Seeing as it was the first thing I had really eaten in the clinic, it seemed only fitting to me. Bella seemed to agree. She smiled at me as she saw that I was smiling at her choice of breakfast.

"Oatmeal." She said, softly. "One of your safe foods." I nodded gently.

She picked up the bowls and handed one of them to me. I noticed that she had made herself a bowl as well and she sat back on the pillows next to me and began her breakfast. I played with mine for a moment before she gave me a pointed look and I smiled at her. I knew that I had to eat, so I slowly began to eat it.

For some reason it felt like I was back at the clinic again. Not because Bella was here with me, but something in my mind was telling me that I shouldn't be eating like this. That I should be fighting the hunger that was building inside of me, and to fight my instincts and refuse the food.

I looked down at the tray and saw that there was also a glass of water, a white pill and a cup of coffee that I knew would be for Bella as whilst I was on the level of medication I was on now I wasn't allowed any concentrated caffiene or alcohol.

I finished my bowl of oatmeal just as Bella was starting on her coffee and I placed it back down on the tray. I picked up the glass of water and the pill and swallowed it easily, draining half of the glass as I did so. I saw Bella smiling at me and I smiled back. If any of my family had smiled at me like that after taking my medication I know that I would have seen it as being patronising. But when Bella smiled at me like that, all I felt was reassurance.

After she cleared away the breakfast things, not allowing me to help in any way, we settled back onto my bed. I know I should have been a little peeved at the fact that she wouldn't let me help, but then again it was just Bella being Bella. She probably wouldn't have let me do anything even if I was feeling alright.

Before I knew it I had dozed off into a restful sleep. It was dreamless, something that I always used to be thankful for, as my sleeps were always plagued with memories of that fateful day. The day that changed my life forever.

But recently, my dreams had been full of images of Bella. From her smile to her scent to the feel of her hair between my fingers and the taste of her lips as she kissed me.

I woke up to find that Bella wasn't lying next to me. I sat up sharply, remembering that she had been there when I had fallen asleep, and looked around. I saw that the bowl of noodles that had been on the floor when I went to sleep had been cleared up and the breakfast stuff was missing.

I heard people talking downstairs and looking at the clock that rested on my bedside table I saw that it was 5:17PM. I had slept through most of the day. It seemed that all I did was sleep nowadays. Maybe, on some level my body was trying to make up for almost a decade of insomnia due to starvation in these past few weeks. I hated sleeping so much, knowing that I was so out of it all the time. I turned over and rolled off of the bed, walking over to my couch. I sat down and picked up the book that was resting there. It was Bella's old, beaten up copy of Wuthering Heights. I picked it up and started to read the passage that she had been reading.

After about twenty minutes or so, I heard the familiar shuffling outside my door and it began to open slowly. The door flew open suddenly, scaring the hell out of me in doing so. She had obviously noticed that I was not on the bed, as she had no doubt left me. The couch that I was sat on couldn't be seen from the door, so she would have no idea of where I was.

"Edward?!" She called out to me, a slight panic in her voice. "Edward, where are you?"

"On the couch." I called back, putting down her book as she came into view, properly. She saw me sitting there in front of her and a look of relief flew across her face. "Is everything okay?" I asked her, feeling my brow furrowing.

"Yeah," She sighed. I held my arms out to her, motioning for her to come and join me. A smile began to creep onto her face as she walked over to sit next to me. She looked at what I was reading a look of confusion spread across her face. She held it up to me. "Explain."

I shrugged. "I don't know." I told her honestly. "I guess I wanted to see what caused you read that book over and over again."

"Did you find it?" She asked, placing the book back onto the sofa next to her.

I pretended to think for a moment and shook my head. "Nope." I said, popping the "p".

She rested her head on my shoulder and sighed. I kissed the top of her head and sighed along with her. I could have stayed that way forever. Just her and me, sat here. No one else to bother us.

It was as if no one else existed.

/////////////////////

I woke up the next day with Bella lying next to me again. This time she was the first one awake. I smiled slightly as I saw her beautiful brown eyes watching me as strands of her long deep brown hair fell across her face. I sighed, brushing them away and placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"Morning." I whispered against her lips, feeling her smile.

"Morning, gorgeous." I sighed. I didn't like her saying things like that, especially as I thought that they weren't true. I don't know what it was. I knew that I was good-looking, on some level at least, but I in my mind, terms such as "gorgeous" and "beautiful" were earmarked for people who didn't have pasts such as mine. For those who weren't covered in scars and reminders of what they had been, of how they had felt. Of how low they had been previously, that they had felt it right to leave permenant reminders on their bodies. In my mind, I was definitely not gorgeous. "Don't forget. You have that meeting with the therapist today."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Great." I said, sarcastically. "Another pair of eyes on me."

"Hey, come on." She tapped me lightly on the shoulder. "I know that you don't like these sessions and everything, but... today might be a good time to tell the rest of your family what you told me the other night." I bit my lip unconsciously and she grinned at me.

"What?" I asked her confused.

"You're biting your lip." She said, running her finger gently across my bottom lip. "It's cute."

"Yeah well." I sighed smiling at her. "I must have picked it up from you." She nodded and grinned at me again. I looked into her eyes and saw them twinkling back at me. She told me that she hated her eyes. That she thought they were dull and flat, and looking into them at this point in time, I had no idea what she was talking about. I could easily get myself lost in them forever. They were deep and bottomless. "Will you be there today?"

"If you want me there."

"Of course I want you there." I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me. "I will always want you there."

"Good." She sighed, leaning her head on my chest. "Because I will always be there."

"Apart from, you won't." I whispered, in a volume that was barely audible to myself, and yet somehow she heard me.

"What?" She asked, although her tone suggested that she heard what I had said loud and clear.

"Nothing." I lied. I didn't want her to know my fears about what was going to happen at the end of the summer. I didn't want to burden her with that. I knew that it wasn't her fault that she had to go. It was her mother's and Jacob's fault.

She told me that she wasn't going to go to school today either and I put up more of a fight than I did yesterday. She point blank refused to go. I told her that her staying home from school wasn't helping me, it was just aggravating me because I knew that she should be in school, working towards getting the best grades she could.

I ended up losing that argument. As she knew that I would. There was no changing her mind when she got like this. She was too much like me than I was happy with.

Even though I lost that fight, it didn't mean that I stopped pestering her about it all day.

"Edward," She moaned, for the fiftieth time today, as we walked up the stairs to my bedroom. We had spent the day lounging around downstairs, watching TV and not really doing much, but she appreciated and complied when I said that I really didn't want to be downstairs when my family got home. She, as well as I, knew that there would be a lot of questions from them and I didn't want to face them until we had to sit through the session this afternoon. At least then, Chris, the therapist that I saw outside of the clinic would be there to act as a mediator. "Look, it's was 3:15. School is almost out so there's really no point in carrying on, okay?"

"No." I protested, yet again. "It's not okay." I stopped on the landing and she stopped as well, turning to face me. "Look, you know how much I hate you missing out on school. I mean, it's almost the end of the year. You have exams and stuff and you can't afford to take any more time off than you already have. Especially because of me."

"Look," She walked up to me and put a hand on either side of my face. "I want to spend time with you. I want to be by your side forever. That," She kissed the end of my nose gently. "Is why I agreed to marry you."

I sighed, looking her in the eye. "You're not taking any more time off school." I told her sternly and she rolled her eyes at me. "No, Bella, love. I don't want you taking any more time off. Promise me." I held her gaze. "Promise me."

"Alright." She conceeded. "I promise. Now, will you drop it?"

"Alright." I agreed. "For now."

She gave me an exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes and turning around. I grinned and I knew that I had won that argument. I followed her to my room and closed the door behind me as I watched her flop down on my bed, pouting. She held her arms out to me and I sat down on my bed, melting into her embrace. She was all I needed to feel safe. She was always there. If she was there then I could get through anything. Which again made me think about what was going to happen when she had to leave. I didn't want to think about it, but I knew that it was going to happen, and I couldn't switch it off. It was something that was always there in the back of my mind.

We sat there and talked about nothing in particular. Making jokes at Emmett's expense and making fun of Alice's shopping habits. She enjoyed forcing Bella to go shopping with her, even though Bella hated it with a passion. I think that on some level, Alice was trying to turn her into a clone of her own pixie self.

A light knock on the door told us that everyone was home. I called for whoever it was to come in. It was Esme.

"Edward, dear." She smiled at Bella and I. "Bella. Chris is here." I nodded and she smiled at us again, walking out of the room, closing the door.

I looked at Bella and sighed. "You ready?"

"Honestly?" She nodded. "I don't know. But I guess I won't know until I try it will I?" She shook her head. She climbed over me and pulled me up off of the bed.

"Let's go." She said, pulling me into a reassuring kiss.

We walked down the stairs slowly and saw the others standing around in the kitchen and foyer. I saw the therapist that I had been seeing since I'd left the clinic. I wasn't sure how much I liked him. I preferred Derek, but that might be because I had grown to know him and he had helped me through a lot of problems while in there. I guess I just hadn't given Chris a chance, but I would. Maybe he would surprise me.

I walked hand in hand with Bella into the living room and sat down on one of the sofas with everyone following behind us. They all sat down on the sofas, chairs and Alice sat on the floor at Esme's feet, leaning her head on her mother's lap. Chris sat on the chair in front of me, giving me a small smile. I smiled back at him.

"Hello Edward." He said in a calm voice.

"Hi Chris." I replied, feeling Bella give my hand a small squeeze.

"How are you doing?" He asked.

"Um, okay, I guess." I replied, not looking at him and nodding my head. "The last couple of days have been a bit rough but...."

"What do you mean?" He asked whilst writing that down. "What's happened in the last couple of days?"

"Um, we've kind of had a couple of problems." I told him. I knew I was being vague, but I really didn't know how to approach the subject of Jacob.

"Within the family?" He asked, looking around.

"No." Jasper piped up. "There's someone else giving us, well mainly Bella and Edward a bit of hassle."

"What kind of hassle?"

"Well," Rosalie answered quietly. "He's got a problem with their relationship. He's jealous. Basically he like Bella-"

" "Likes" is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Rose?" Alice chimed in from the floor.

"Well, I guess so." She admitted. "He's pretty much in love with Bella, and he hates the fact that she's with Edward."

"Why do you think this is?" He looked at me again.

I shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. I think he's kind of got the whole "if I can't have her, nobody can" complex going on."

"And how is that affecting the two of you?" He gestured between Bella and I. "I mean your relationship."

"Honestly, it's not." I replied. Because it wasn't. Because of Jacob the two of us were closer than ever. We were engaged for christ's sake. I mean it probably would have happened later on, but having all of this drama going on with Jacob made us realise how much we cared for each other even more than we had before. If that was even possible.

"It hasn't affected it in any way at all?" He sounded skeptical.

"Well, you guys can't really say that." Emmett said, smugly. Chris turned to look at him, with his eyebrows raised, silently telling him to carry on. "Well, you guys are engaged, aren't you?"

"Yes, thank you for that Emmett." Bella said, through gritted teeth. A small smile played on Chris's lips.

"And when did this happen?" He asked us.

"A couple of days ago." I answered honestly.

"But we knew that it was going to happen long before now." Esme said, smiling softly. "I mean, if you could see the way that they are around each other, then you'd know." She said that with love and adoration in her voice, as well as pride and joy. I looked down at Bella, just as she gazed up at me and smiled. I couldn't help but smile back as she pressed a small kiss to my jaw.

"Oh, but I can see," I looked back up at Chris and he gestured between the two of us. "What you two feel for each other is evident through even the smallest of gestures. Even like the one that ust happened. Just the gaze and the kiss that Bella just gave Edward. I can see the chemistry between the two of you." He made a note on the paper on his knee. "Normally, getting into a relationship such as this would be frowned upon, especially since Edward has only been out of the clinic for a few weeks. But, considering what I've heard from the clinic, this relationship is probably best for Edward and his stability." I frowned slightly at this comment. "There's no need to look at me like that Edward." I furrowed my brow at him slightly amd he smiled at me. "I know you're probably wondering how I can say that right?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Well, from what I've heard and read about your time in the clinic, Bella was a huge benefit to your recovery. She gave you something to work for, and now that you're out, your relationship with Bella acts as a foundation for your recovery process. You understand?" I nodded, biting my bottom lip. "Is there a problem?" He looked around the room at my family. I followed his gaze and saw that the others were looking nervous and not looking at him.

"Um," Emmett spoke quietly, which was unusual for Emmett seeing as he was normally loud and made his presence known instantly. Chris looked at him expectantly. "We kind of have something going on there." He cleared his throat. "Bella has to leave." He whispered looking at Bella and I.

Bella shifted closer to me and leaned her head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head gently and she sighed, squeezing my hand gently.

"What do you mean "has to leave"?" Chris asked, looking over at the two of us.

"The guy that has a problem with Edward and I being together....he phoned my mom and told her a load of stuff that wasn't true about Edward." Bella spoke quietly, not meeting Chris's gaze whilst rubbing small circles on the back of my hand with her thumb. "She believed him and she's making me move back to Phoenix with her. She still has primary custody of me so I have no choice."

"Have you tried to explain the situation to her?"

"I've tried." She confessed. I could hear the tears in her voice. I kissed the top of her head again, trying to reassure her, but I knew it wasn't going to work. "But she just won't listen. She's believing Jacob over me and it hurts that she won't even give me the time or opportunity to explain."

"Okay, um." Chris wrote this down on his notepad. "I think this is something that we need to delve into in more depth. Probably next week." He looked up from his notepad at me. I silently thanked him for postponing talking about that subject as he knew that it would be painful for me, well the both of us, to talk about. None of us wanted to talk about it, even though we knew we had to. He looked at me intensly, before glancing back at his notepad. "So, Edward," He let out a breath. "Are you still taking your medication."

"Of course." I nodded at him.

"And how do you feel about that?" He asked, checking something on the pad.

"Honestly," I looked at Bella and she smiled at me, squeezing my hand again, reassuring me that it was okay for me to carry on. "I don't know."

"What do you mean?" He looked confused.

"It's like...I don't really know....what I'm feeling." I shook my head. "It's hard to explain."

"You've got to try, son." Carlisle spoke softly from where he sat on the sofa next to Esme.

I nodded. "It's like....I'm wrapped in cotton wool....or a blanket or something....and I'm not really....sure....what's happening around me." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Like when you're wrapped in a sleeping bag, and you're not really sure how cold it really is. That's what it feels like. And I....I'm starting to worry about the fact that I'm not really sure about how I feel."

"You know it's important that you keep taking them though, right, dear." Esme asked me, sounding worried. She probably thought that I was going to stop taking them.

I nodded, not really focusing on any of them. "It's like, with what Emmett said. Bella's leaving and it doesn't seem to bother me. Or as much it should. I mean, she's leaving, moving god knows how many miles away for who knows how long and....I don't know. It's not really bothering me. And I can't help but that that's not me. That I should be more upset about it, but the drugs are making so I'm not."

"Well, we can work on that while Bella is still here. Maybe I can schedule sessions that involve just the two of you." He looked at Carlisle. "What do you think?"

"I think that sounds like a good idea." Carlisle replied. "I'll have to speak with Charlie, Bella's father about that, but I don't think that he'll have a problem with it." Chris nodded and I smiled.

"Now, Edward." He turned to look at me again. "In one of your sessions with Derek, you talked about insecurities being one of your triggers." I nodded. "Do you think you're learning to deal with that?"

I looked at him. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and I cursed myself inwardly. I shook my head slightly. "No. No, not all the time." I took a deep breath and looked down at my hand, intertwined with Bella's. "When I was in the clinic, Derek and I did some work on triggers and.....and that was the painful part." I whispered the last bit, but the room was so quiet I knew they could hear me.

"What do you mean?" Emmett asked, sitting forward to lean his elbows on his knees. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was curious and worried at the same time.

I inhaled deeply again. "You'd think that not eating for days, the dull ache in your stomach, the pangs of hunger. You think that was painful?" I scrunched up my nose and shook my head. "No. No, they weren't. I was proud of those. I'd achieved those. Even the dizzy spells, the weakness that went with it. Everything else came with it. In my mind, it was all worth it, because I....I had achieved it. It was something that I had done. On my own." I rested my elbow on the arm of the sofa and rested my forehead on my hand. I felt the tears that had begun clouding my vision fall down my face and whispered, "I hate myself."

At this Bella lifted her head up and wrapped her arm around my neck, pulling me towards her. "No, no baby." She pulled my head down and kissed my forehead. I heard her sob and sniff as she did so and I rested my head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me.

"I know....I know it's pathetic and useless to think that way, but I can't help feeling that way and I'm sorry." I didn't meet any of the gazes of my family, but I heard Rosalie sniffing from the sofa and I saw Emmett wrap his arms around her in my peripheral vision.

"What starts it?" Alice asked in a small voice. I could hear the tears in her voice as well and I hated myself even more, knowing that I was making my family cry.

"I don't know....the loss, kind of rejection...people at school....being humiliated." These were all pathetic reasons and I knew that, but I couldn't help that that's what I felt.

"But I don't understand." Emmett said, still comforting Rose. "Everyone gets humiliated. You know, maybe rejected by girls and stuff...well....most guys anyway...."

"Triggers aren't the cause." Chris explained looking around at my family, while Bella ran her hands through my hair. "Edward doesn't suffer like he does because of a bit of namecalling, or due to things that happened back in Chicago. The reasons run a lot deeper than that, as I'm sure you all know." He glanced around again, before settling his gaze on me. They did all know what he was talking about.

My parents death.

"Couldn't control what happened." I said quietly. "And that's the most important thing. That I feel in control of something in my life." Bella ran the backs of her fingers acroos my cheek, in a soothing way.

"This is something that Edward has to get a handle on himself. But the unconditional love that you can all provide will help. It will help in a way that you can't imagine. But...." He paused, looking at me intently. "He does need his independence. To learn to fight his own battles, to stand on his own two feet. Not allowing him to do so....well....that may only cause him to retreat back into the shell that he lived in for such a long time. Because you would essentially be taking his independence and the control of his own actions away from him." I looked at Chris, who was still looking at me intently. He had just hit the nail on the head with that last statement. That was exactly how I had been feeling over the last couple of days.

This guy really did know what he was doing. He was almost as good as Derek. Almost.

"Hang on a sec." Jasper leant forward and took up the same pose that Emmett had a moment ago. "The other day. On the beach. Is that why you walked off?" I looked at him and his eyes were full of worry. Jasper never really worried. He was always the cool, calm and collected one in the family. I nodded and his face seemed to fall. "We had no idea." He looked at the others and they shook their heads.

"I know you didn't." I admitted. "How could you?" I looked up at them. "It's alright." I tried to assure them. "There was no way for you guys to know. I mean, I didn't tell you, and you guys aren't mind-readers." They all nodded, though their expressions betrayed their true feelings. "Honestly, you guys it's okay." I looked back down at my hands. "It's just....yeah, I was grateful that you guys showed up when you did, 'cause if you hadn't, I would probably be having reconstructive surgery at the moment, but after you guys got him off me....the way that you carried on....it made me feel....."

"It's okay, baby." Bella kissed my forehead again.

"It made me feel humiliated and weak." I admitted. "It made me feel like I couldn't deal with my own problems. That I couldn't fight my own battles. And I just....I couldn't deal with that."

"We had no idea, son." Carlisle looked like he wanted to get up and hug me, but thought better of it. Something that I was thankful for. I knew that if he had, a fresh wave of tears would have made their way to the surface. I was fighting them back as it was.

"Honestly we didn't Edward." Emmett said quietly. "We thought that we were helping."

"I know you did," I admitted. "And you did, but I need to learn how to fight my own battles. I need to be able to deal with things on my own."

"We understand Edward." Jasper breathed, and I nodded looking at him. I know they did.

"I know you do." I whispered.

"Okay," Chris said softly. "I think we'll leave it here for now. There's been a lot said and there's a lot to think about. I know that you'll all want to think about things and talk about them amongst yourselves." He stood up. "I'll see you all next week. You've made great progress today Edward. I'll call your father and ask him about the sessions for just you and Bella, okay?" I nodded and he bid us goodbye and Carlisle and Esme let him out.

"You okay?" Jasper asked quietly and I nodded. They all got up slowly and left the living room, probably sensing that Bella and I needed some time alone.

"Hey, baby." She cooed in my ear, running one hand through my hair, while the other rubbed soothing circles on my back. "It's okay."

I nodded and closed my eyes, listening to her rhythmic breathing.

I'm guessing that the exhaustion of the last hour or so took over because the next thing I was aware of, was the darkness and the pull of sleep, beckoning me.

And I followed it willingly.

Okay, this was a longer chapter. But I thought I owed it to you after the shortness of the last chapter :D
This chappie flowed a lot better than the last one. And it even brought a tear to my eye during the therapy session.
Please review. It'll make Edward happy if you do :)
xx