Chapter Twenty

Where Love Is

Richard Rodgers felt distinctly uncomfortable sitting at his and Kate's usual booth at Remy's. Though He and Kate had eaten here enough times between cases (not to mention during cases and after cases) that the wait staff knew him by name, how he liked his coffee (black, two sugars) how he liked his burger (medium well) and always knew to double his French fry order when he was with Kate, because she would eschew ordering fries herself to maintain her "girlish figure" and then content herself with snitching half of his. Half of the waitstaff enjoyed seeing the two of them, as they thought their romance was just dreamy, the other half wondered what the hell was taking them so long.

The major source of Rick's discomfort as he sat alone in his side of the booth was the man who occupied the seat across from him. Namely Jim Beckett, (Kate's father, he couldn't help reminding himself) Kate had cornered him in the kitchen of the loft (where she still occupied his guest room, all these months after her apartment had been destroyed, obviously in no great hurry to find a new apartment) and told him that her father had called her and said he wanted to meet this new man in her life. He could tell that this had her nearly beside herself in a fit of nerves.

This was how he found himself, alone in a booth at Remy's with Jim Beckett. Kate was far too freaked out by this meeting to be anywhere nearby, was in the loft waiting by her phone to hear how this meeting will go. Martha had practically adopted her, and showered her with affection, and she was concerned how her dad and the man she loved would get along. Rick was no less nervous about this meeting.

He hadn't done the "meet the parents" thing since he was in college, and that time had not exactly gone well. Kyra's mother took an instant dislike to him, and made that opinion quite plain all through dinner. Though neither he nor Kyra had known it at the time, the end of their relationship had been pretty much inevitable from that point on. He hadn't met Meredith's parents until the day of their wedding, and both of them had been blissfully drunk almost as soon as she walked up the aisle. The end of that marriage had been pretty much inevitable too, Meredith had never seemed to take their relationship seriously at the time. Now here he was, alone with Jim, having only just met him.

Jim seemed to share his discomfort at this first meeting, at least. Neither of them seemed to want to be the first to break the uneasy silence and start this conversation. Eventually Jim decided that since he had insisted, he should start things off.

"So...Rick...you're an FBI agent?"

"Yeah," Rick replied, "I worked primarily out of the Washington DC office, but I'm on indefinite loan to Homeland Security here in New York."

"Is it dangerous work?" Jim asked.

"I'm mostly just a liaison," Rick answered, "so I'm not really in any more danger than any other detective in the precinct."

"Katie tells me you're her partner."

"Yeah," Rick replied, a relaxed happy expression drifted across his features which did not go unnoticed by the older man across from him. "My day to day has relatively few requirements, so her captain paired me up with her to help her and her team with their homicide cases. I'm an experienced investigator, I could not, in good conscience simply sit back at my desk and do nothing."

"I see..." Jim replied, he was becoming more impressed with this man with every word that came out of his mouth.

Rick could tell that Kate's father was working up to something. It was plain that he had not felt the need to do something like this in a very long time. He remained quiet, and let him take his time.

"I guess, Rick, what I am trying to ask you is something of a more...personal nature."

"I imagine so. Please, feel free to ask me anything, I know how awkward this must be for you."

"Thank you, Rick. I guess what I've been working up to is the old parental stand by."

Jim Beckett paused for a moment, before lifting his face to lock eyes with Richard Rodgers.

"What are your intentions with my daughter?"

Rick had expected a question along these lines, but it still caught him rather flat footed.

"Is there ever a time when that question isn't awkward?" Rick asked.

"Not in my experience." Jim replied, a sheepish grin on his face.

Rick looked down at his hands on the table, discomfort was slipping into sadness for a moment. When he looked up, Jim could see a sadness he prayed he would never have to know, the loss of a child.

"I assume Kate has told you what she knows about my past?" Rick asked, and in a much softer tone, "About my daughter?"

Rick dug the same photo he had shown Kate nearly a year ago out of his wallet, and showed it to him. He nodded solemnly and returned it. Jim could see the anguish in Rick's blue eyes, an ache he himself carried since losing Johanna, a secret pain he knows all too well never goes away. Katie told him what she had seen that day in the cemetery a year ago in January. The conversation they had had in the precinct's pistol range after that first disastrous case together. Her revelation that he had once been Richard Castle, the writer who's books had saved her soul when he had been busy losing himself in the bottom of a bottle.

"Yes, Rick, she did." Jim replied, "I can't even imagine what losing a child so young must have done to you. I can't even bear to contemplate the thought of losing Katie as an adult, especially after Johanna died. I barely slept a wink her first year as a uniform."

"Mr. Beckett..." Rick began.

"Please, call me Jim."

"Okay...Jim..." It was clear to Kate's father that this subject was difficult for him to put into words.

"When Alexis...when she died...it felt like the best parts of me died with her. It was like all of the warmth, light and joy was taken from my life. It left me an emotional cripple for years. I couldn't write, I simply could no longer find the words, so I joined the FBI and resigned myself to spend the remainder of my life with an empty space in my soul I would never be able to fill."

Rick paused for a moment, to gather himself and wipe a single shed tear from his eye.

"Then I met Kate. I can't explain it, other than to say that our broken places...fit together somehow. I don't know when it happened. It had to be somewhere between the Regent kidnapping case and last summer in Malibu, but I have found that I can no longer envision my life without her in it. When I saw her apartment explode, and I thought she might be gone, it nearly killed me. That was when I knew."

"After I lost Alexis, I never thought I would be able to love anything or anyone ever again, but I am in love with your daughter, Jim. It's like she opened the darkened windows of my soul and let the sun back in."

Jim reached out his hand and patted Rick's arm. He knew it had taken a lot of effort to put into words something so difficult to quantify.

"Rick, I don't know if you've seen it, but you have had such a wonderful impact on my Katie. She has truly come alive in a way I hadn't seen in her in years. Since the two of you found each other, she's found a measure of...serenity she hasn't known since the day her mother died.

The two of you are obviously good for each other, I hope you can continue to find your way together, and you both can find some measure of happiness together, you certainly have my blessing.

….

Kate's cell phone pinged, letting he know that she had text message from Rick. When she read it she nearly burst into tears.

Your father sends his regards...and his blessing. Love you, Rick.