He sat on a small hill, hunched over his own knees. His chin rested on the tops of his arms as he gazed out across the sea of darkness that surrounded his perch. Every so often, another wave would lap at the perimeter of his little island, leaving sticky black tendrils in the grass. He did his best to ignore these. Acknowledging them only hastened the sea's arrival.

Scant shafts of sunlight filtered down through the murk. Peering up, he could see a sliver of blue sky. It flickered occasionally, as though threatening to close up and leave him in full darkness. Szayel pictured it expanding when this happened. He willed the sunlight to spread and illuminate his surroundings. It never did, but at the very least, the sunshine never fully disappeared. Not like it used to, anyways.

He wasn't sure when he noticed that he was no longer alone on his hill, but he tensed when he sensed the presence of another. Mayuri seemed to have coalesced out of the darkness itself. Szayel turned to face him warily, wondering what this apparition had in store for him, but instead of tormenting him, the medicine seller took a seat across from him in the grass. The man glanced around, examining his surroundings with interest.

"You've gotten good at this," Mayuri remarked.

Szayel's lips thinned.

"It certainly seems that the dose I have you on is ineffective if you're able to resist the venom to this degree. How intriguing… I wonder if-"

"Who are you?" Szayel's tone was taut as he cut the man off. This had never happened before.

The medicine seller tilted his head, looking amused.

"Who else could I be? Really, kitsune. I'm disappointed."

"You're not Kurostuchi."

"Ooh? Well, you are the master of this world. Tell me, who am I?"

"Just… a figment of my imagination," Szayel replied, glancing away from the spectre. This wasn't going at all like how it usually did. Usually the hallucinatory monsters that made it through the sunlight attacked him immediately. They did not sit down and have conversations with him.

As though aware of his doubt, Mayuri smiled.

"Is that so? Well then, supposing I am just a manifestation of your mind, what should I be doing?"

"Tormenting me."

"Is that what you'd like me to do?"

"No."

"Good. I'd rather not squander this rare opportunity to speak with you."

"Stop that," Szayel ordered. He rose. Mayuri followed suit, but Szayel still had the advantage of height. It was funny. The man seemed so much taller in real life, but here, he didn't have to worry about the power dynamics between them. He wasn't afraid of him. He could see him for how he truly was.

"Stop what?" Mayuri inquired.

"Stop acting like you're real. You're not."

"But I am who you understand me to be, am I not? Wouldn't your mind generate my behavior according to your interpretation of me?"

"I…" He had a point. It was disturbing to interact with this dream version of Mayuri, however he wouldn't let it phase him. If they were to have a conversation, he'd converse with the man. Might as well. It had been such a long time since he'd last spoken with someone. "Alright, Kurotsuchi. What do you want to know?"

"How long have you been lucid dreaming?"

"You mean… doing this?"

"Yes. How long have you been in control?"

"Hm…" All told, it hadn't been long. "I've had this level of control for two weeks, but it has taken me months to reach this point. At first, I was only able to hold on for a minute or two."

He still failed sometimes. It was very difficult to retain this little control he had over his dream world. Things got through sometimes. His concentration slipped, the sunlight vanished for a moment. He became vulnerable.

"No wonder you've seemed more aware lately," Mayuri commented as he sat down again. He gestured for Szayel to take a seat as well. After a moment's hesitation, Szayel acceded.

"You noticed?"

"Of course I noticed. You're monopolizing all my attention at the moment."

"It seems you ignore me half the time."

"I would be rewarding your insubordination if I interacted with you like you want."

"Insubordination? You might own me, but I'm not yours Kurotsuchi."

"I believe we've already had this conversation, kitsune-"

"No."

Szayel scowled. He wasn't going to take the imaginary medicine seller's shit here. If he wanted, he could shut the man up. This was his dream, his realm of control. He could make the man suffer so exquisitely.

"No. We have not. We have had multiple one-sided conversations where you have talked down to me and I have allowed your words to sink in and harm me. But you haven't broken me yet, Kurotsuchi, nor will you."

The medicine seller's pervasive smile faded somewhat. His voice was cooler when he spoke again.

"Such defiant words. You wouldn't dare voice them outside of this place."

Szayel raised his chin and glanced down his nose at him.

"So? It doesn't matter what I say or don't say. The fact is, you've failed to break me. That's what you wanted, right? You wanted my absolute loyalty. You wanted another Nemu. Well, that's not going to happen. Just give up already."

Mayuri's lips twisted into a sneer.

"You are not as stable as you believe. Look at yourself. Look around you. You're just barely hanging on. You've managed to claw some purchase from your nightmares, but it's so tenuous. At any moment, you could fail."

"I'm making progress."

"No. You're just fooling yourself into believing you can delay the inevitable."

"Isn't that you, Kurotsuchi?"

Szayel leaned forward, confident in his assessment. It felt good, being the one in control of the situation.

"And what would that be?" Mayuri asked, eyes flat with irritation. No amusement glimmered in their depths. He finally had him on the defensive.

"The fact that I'm winning. The fact that I will win."

"But what are you winning, kitsune?" the medicine seller snapped. When Szayel didn't immediately reply, his eyes shone and his mouth spread in a shark's grin. "You don't even know. You don't even know what you're trying to accomplish. You're just struggling blindly, and this is why you will not win."

And in a moment, Mayuri had turned it around again. Szayel blinked. Then his lips thinned, and he straightened his shoulders. No. He really, really didn't need to play Mayuri's games here. Nor did he want to. In fact, it was high time he initiated a game of his own.

"Wrong, Kurotsuchi. As long as you're a guest in my mind, I set the rules. And you see… I don't particularly enjoy losing."

Szayel rose.

"Since I have been losing all my life."

He stooped to pull Kurotsuchi to his feet in one effortless motion.

"And it's become rather tiresome, prostrating myself to people like you."

He didn't let go of the medicine seller just yet. Tilting his head to the side, he offered him a coquettish smile.

"So I think perhaps we ought to start over. I am Szayel, scion of the noble house of Iwara and heir to Inari's blessing. I have no home, but this is my domain. And you have overstepped your bounds."

Szayel pulled Mayuri close so that their cheeks touched and his lips brushed over the smaller man's ear. It was thrilling, having this much power over another person. Szayel loved it. Nnnh… he hoped Mayuri would pay him another visit in the future. The subtle tensing of the body in his arms was rapturous.

"There's really only one rule here. Don't upset me. That's all. Simple enough, right?"

Szayel caressed the back of his head, then pulled away. His hands came to rest on Mayuri's shoulders. The medicine seller looked wary, as he should.

"Be grateful I'm not getting more creative with your punishment, Kurotsuchi."

"Punishment? You really believe you're entitled to deliver punishment, kitsune?" said Mayuri.

Szayel laughed.

Then he gave the man a violent shove.

And he watched the medicine seller tumble backwards.

Down.

Down.

The black sea rose up to claim him, bogging down his limbs and snaking inky tendrils over his face, eyes, nose until it had him completely. Then he was gone, dragged underneath the surface.

Szayel sat down again, watching the place where he'd disappeared. If he managed to surface, he'd simply force him under again. Mayuri wouldn't escape the nightmare drug thrall so easily.

-.-.-.-.-.-

He couldn't remember the last time he'd woken up before Mayuri. For about ten minutes, his world was serene. Then worry began to gnaw at him. What if the man had something that allowed him to enter dreams? What if that really had been Mayuri in his mind? Gods, what would that mean for him? But when Mayuri finally stirred and woke, he didn't cast him more than a raised eyebrow.

"You're up early, kitsune."

Szayel relaxed a little and nodded.

"Well, make yourself useful and go start a fire then."

He crawled out of his bedding and went to go hunt for kindling and wood while the medicine seller woke his daughter. By the time he'd returned, the camp site had been tidied and a place cleared for the fire. The fact that he was practiced at building one made the task no less onerous. His mother had been capable of bringing one to life with a thought. Creating fire was one of the most basic abilities a kitsune possessed; he couldn't even manipulate an already existing flame.

Once the stand was set up and the water for their breakfast simmering, Szayel settled down to relax. Nemu had already made the other meal preparations, and Mayuri appeared to be meditating. It was… nice. There was an undercurrent of anxiety that he couldn't quite shake, but it was a surprisingly peaceful morning on the whole. After a few minutes of silence, Szayel closed his eyes and sat cross legged, deciding to take a leaf out of the medicine seller's book and try a little meditation himself.

It had been a few months since his encounter with the kappa, but he could recall Mayuri's words with an eerie sort of clarity. He had magic potential trapped inside him somewhere, but the curse his mother had placed upon him had retarded that growth. If he could find a way to lift that spell, Szayel could live. He could thrive, unbeholden to anyone but himself. And he could do with his powers what he liked, because if Inari truly wanted him, if anyone truly wanted him, wouldn't they have made the attempt by now? Wouldn't there have been some sign by now? Some signal that he was destined for greatness in time?

There'd been nothing. Clearly, the universe and the gods had forsaken him. So he would have his power in time, and he would learn how to use it, and once he'd mastered his abilities, there would be hell to pay for anyone who'd ever harmed him. He did not care if this made him seem wicked, for he was not wicked. He was justified in his vengeance. He had his honor and his family's honor to avenge. That was something noble.

Szayel exhaled, clearing the angry thoughts from his mind and focusing on his breathing. In, out. Full, empty. His heart beat steadily in the background. It slowed a little as he found a rare state of calm.

He could feel Nemu's presence by the fire, tending to the rice. It was the faintest of impressions in his mind, but she was still there. This excited him, and for a moment, he lost his focus. She blurred, dissolved, and he grit his teeth and tried to clear his mind again. After a few minutes, he managed to reenter his meditative state.

Szayel let it lapse just as promptly as the first time. The euphoria was too powerful. He was doing it. He was doing what Kaname could do, on a very very rudimentary level. Granted, it wasn't a technique that required more ability than an unusually spiritual aware human could manage, but it was something he hadn't always been able to do, and maybe… just maybe if he could practice this, he could potentially unlock his own spiritual energy? Biting back a grin, the kitsune focused again, this time searching for Mayuri's energy.

What he found was… strange.

He knew that the man could conceal his energy signature at will. In hindsight, he understood now that he'd always been able to sense spiritual energy in a very basic way. It was that ability to sense the emotional state and presence of the people around him. But examining him from this new lens left him feeling unsettled. There was something not right about Kurotsuchi Mayuri.

Though still very faint (likely due to Szayel's own incompetence with this new skill), he glowed a little brighter than his daughter. But the moment Szayel attempted to bring him into focus, Mayuri's light dimmed, then diffused. His spiritual energy seemed to scatter, becoming part of his surroundings until Szayel could no longer detect a distinct sense of the man. He wasn't concealing his energy, he was letting go of it completely.

Szayel felt a bead of sweat slide down the back of his neck as he considered the ramifications of this discovery. This should not have been possible. Scattering his spiritual energy like that should have killed him, or at least left him incapable of awareness.

"Confused?"

Szayel's eyes flew open. Mayuri had moved without making a sound and was now sitting centimeters away from him, grinning that damnable smile of his.

"You should learn to hide yourself better if you intend to spy on people, kitsune. Even the most spiritually insensitive person can sense something when they are being watched."

How?

"But I'm sure you're not interested in that. No, what you're interested in is how I'm able to disappear, hm?"

Yes. Yes yes yes.

Mayuri chuckled and leaned in, forcing Szayel back an inch.

"A good business man never gives up his trade secrets. Why should I tell you?"

Szayel shot him a look of pure, desperate irritation. He could never get a straight reply out of the man, not when he was bartering for something. And Szayel knew exactly what he was bartering for, but he refused to pay the price. Not on Mayuri's terms. Never on the medicine seller's terms. It was the only thing he had to barter with, after all.

"You know what I'd trade the information for, Kitsune. Just one little vial. Just one tiny little vial."

Szayel shook his head lightly, sullenly. It wasn't worth it.

The medicine seller's mad grin faded and settled into a patient half smile. He was still confident, Szayel could tell. Confident that he'd have what he wanted in time. Indeed, Mayuri seemed to be in a playful mood. He reached forward, fingers twining with some of Szayel's hair.

"I've been thinking lately that your current dosage is no longer adequate. Would you find that accurate, kisune?"

Szayel's eyes narrowed a fraction. This was… just a little too close to his dream. However, reluctantly, he nodded.

"I'm glad that you agree. I would have had to administer an additional punishment if you'd lied to me. You're developing resistance, aren't you?"

Another nod.

"What should I increase your dosage by? What estimate would you give me? You know your own body best, after all."

Szayel shuddered slightly. Honesty, dishonesty, it didn't matter. They'd both end horribly. But it smarted to have to write up his own drug prescription. Removing the hand in his hair, he traced his response in Mayuri's palm.

Try increasing the dosage by a third to begin with. If you are unsatisfied with the result, continue to increase it by increments of thirds until you have reached the desired result.

"And if I wish to simply double it?"

Szayel's expression soured.

It would probably not kill me. However, it seems wasteful. Tsuchinoko venom can't be an easily obtained substance.

"No, it isn't. I have to lure the youkai and milk the venom myself," the medicine seller replied. Coming to a conclusion, Mayuri clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "Very well. I'll increase it by a third starting tomorrow."

The news, while expected, still made his stomach sink. The pride he'd felt earlier at being able to see spiritual energy was gone. How could he practice developing his skills when he'd be spending his days out of his mind with hallucinations and in constant pain again? Things had been getting tolerable. He'd been adjusting. But now… now things were going to be like they'd been before. Unbearable. He felt sick just thinking about it.

"Don't look so bitter, kitsune. I know you'd destroy me in a heartbeat if our positions were reversed. Why should I take mercy on you if you'd show me none? And you'd be a fool to show me mercy in my position, because I'm dangerous. That's what you do with dangerous things. You either train them, or you terminate them."

Szayel hadn't realized his head had drooped until he felt Mayuri raise his chin. It wasn't a forceful action. If anything, it was surprisingly gentle.

"And I would prefer to not have to kill you, kitsune. I really would."

With that, the medicine seller finally rose and drifted away from him to go inspect how breakfast was progressing.

Szayel stared after him, wondering if he'd ever get used to the man's eccentricities.

-.-.-.-.-.-

True to his word, the dosage was increased the next day.

Szayel fought the effects of the drug as best as he could, but they were overwhelming. In the cart, held down by restraints and gagged so he wouldn't bite off his tongue, he thrashed and screamed until his body was too exhausted to continue. Even after he passed out, some part of him was still aware and suffering acutely, for that was the nature of the venom. It didn't allow for complete oblivion.

Perched on top of the cart in a meditative position, Kurotsuchi Mayuri opened his eyes and nodded in satisfaction. He slid the luminous pearl he held into a silk drawstring bag, then tucked it safely away.

The one third increase would suffice.

A/N:HEY LOVELIES! This originally had 50% more complaining, but then a friend pointed out that this fic has garnered 100 reviews. Which reminded me that it's also up to over 100k words as of the last chapter. I think that deserves some celebration. So thank you all so much for sticking with me even if I'm a slacker, and I hope you continue to enjoy this in the future C8

This chapter has pretty minimal editing. If there are any glaring errors, feel free to PM me about them. I'll probably go back over it later and fix the little things I missed as needed.

I am aware of the purges that were happening on FFN. All my fics are completely backed up, so don't worry. The only thing that'll be lost if mine ever get taken down are all your lovely comments, which is a loss in and of itself :c But the stories are safe.

I'll stop chatting now and get back to writing. Got a lot of catching up to do before my writing muse decides to go have another fling with a different fandom. Shockingly enough, Mayuri is the reason why I actually finished writing this chapter this time. I really do want to do more with him in the future. I kind of miss playing with the guy.