Yeah, I don't know if it's FF or if it's my e-mail, but reviews, alerts, all that stuff aren't going through so I have no idea if it will even be worth updating today or not, but I am anyway ;)

***OK--I've just pulled the chapter and replaced it to spit out an e-mail so if you read it yesterday, ignore :)***

So far, this story's been light and easy with just a few dilemmas for E & B. And this chapter totally fucks that up so I apologize in advance. I will try desperately to get the next chapter finished and to you before Christmas though.

I got a request to make this a trilogy...I have no idea if I can. I love writing these two because they're completely different than me, but if I do, I'll have to rearrange a few things at the end. If I get enough requests, I'll give it some serious thought.

Anyways, that brings me to the next thing--people are asking how much is left. I have outlined 33 chapters total, but with some of the stuff that's coming up, I know it will spill over into the next chapter and so on and so on. So I think it's safe to say this story will be about the same length as Defying Gravity which is 36 plus an Epi, right?

Another A/N at the bottom, cause I'm just full of shit today.

Thanks for the reviews!

And it gets a little graphic towards the end, just in case you're squeamish.

Chapter 21

Edward

My emotions were all over the place as I followed the nurse pushing my wife in a wheelchair up to labor and delivery. Excitement, joy, nervousness, anxiousness, worry, fear, dread, all seemed to flash through me in hot spurts, each with their own set of reasons and effects on me.

I was happy--elated--that the babies were coming. I'd been waiting for months to meet them and now the wait was over. The nerves and anxiousness came with the knowledge that Bella had a long road ahead of her, full of pain and discomfort as she prepared to bring our sons into the world. The worry, fear, and dread flashed through me as I thought of the potential outcomes of this one major event in our lives. Bella's blood pressure could go up at any moment and it would no longer be the simple act of labor and delivering our boys, it would become major surgery. Major emergency surgery to get the babies out before something almost fucking incomprehensible happened to them or Bella.

I could lose them all.

I choked back the sob that tried to escape me as we got into the elevator silently. I couldn't let Bella see how utterly broken I was inside. How the thought of something happening to her seemed to invade itself into every feeling, every action. I kept my face blank at best, unable to be the doting husband I knew she needed because inside I was dying, burning, with the thought of losing her.

I should have been there for her.

I would have seen the signs, caught it before her symptoms started showing themselves and gotten her on some medication to keep her pressure down until we did have someplace to come home to. Until we'd moved out of that awful hotel suite and into our new home. Until we had blankets, clothes, and burpcloths washed, and we had diapers bought and in their room--the room that would be unpacked and waiting for their arrival.

I pushed it away as the nurse prepared Bella's arm for her IV, intent on keeping her distracted while she searched for a vein. I could see the light sheen of sweat cover Bella's forehead and gently stroked it away, murmuring words of comfort and adoration in her ear, feeling her quick jolt when the needle went through the skin and the rush of air that left her lungs sweep across my face.

I sat and called everyone I knew, starting with my parents, but was unable to get an answer. I tried Ali, then Jasper, going through Ben, Angela, Seth, and Bree, in some attempt to contact one of them and tell them that Bella was being induced. That we'd welcome our twins before any of them could get here but it was no use. Every phone went straight to voicemail, indicating that none of them were in range to get a signal.

I left a hurried voicemail on Ben's phone, telling him we were at the hospital and waiting for Bella to be induced later, but said nothing else about the situation in case he spoke to my parents before he called me back. I didn't want my mother's imagination to run wild with possibilities while she was on the interstate driving.

I then called Reneé and Charlie, getting an earful of shock and worry from both of them and had to somehow calm their nerves with medical jargon even though it did nothing to soothe myself. Because no amount of medical training could prepare me for the onslaught of emotions going through me when it was my own wife, my own children, in danger.

I called Emmett next, and laughed at his expected words when he answered. "Where the hell have you two been? Your daughter is bouncing around all over the place!" he boomed over the phone.

"Uh," I ran my hand through my hair. "We're at the hospital, actually."

"What?" he yelled, making me cringe away from the loudness in my ear.

"Bella has preeclampsia. Her doctor has decided to induce her tonight at six."

"Refresh my memory again?"

"It's where her blood pressure is high and the only cure is to get the babies out," I explained simply.

"Shit. How are you holding up?" he asked in concern.

"I'm fine." He huffed in my ear. "All right, I'm not fine. I'm freaking out about complications and everything else, but I'm trying to stay calm for Bella's sake. Because they haven't given her any meds to lower her blood pressure yet, and I don't want to cause her any extra stress."

"Is Bella okay?"

"Yes," I said slowly.

"Are the babies okay?"

"Yes," I repeated.

"Then stop worrying so damn much and enjoy the fact that you're going to be a father again. Rosie and I will bring the kids up later."

Easier said than done. "Okay. We'll see you soon."

The nurse took Bella's information and gave her a dose of Hydralazine to lower her blood pressure. The afternoon creeped by; my eyes darted to the monitor, unable to keep myself from looking at her stats. One-thirty over ninety. One twenty-two over eighty-three. Her blood pressure slowly lowered as the meds took effect, but every reading made the sheer terror bubble up inside me and threaten to spill over in a hysterical outburst of emotion.

Emmett and Rosalie came by with dinner, and Bella ate the food the hospital had given her--specifically for patients with hypertension--with a martyred expression on her face the entire time. I felt incredibly guilty for eating in front of her, but knew it couldn't be helped.

Claire and Gage kept us occupied for a couple hours, only leaving long enough for Bella's nurse to come in and administer Cervidil to Bella to begin dilating her and to hopefully induce labor on its own, without the use of Pitocin. I played with them, but mostly, Claire wanted Bella, instinctively knowing that something was wrong. She laid in the bed, curled up beside Bella, running her tiny hand over Bella's stomach and staying snuggled up next to her mother for almost the entire visit.

When her eyes started fluttering close with sleepiness, Emmett and Rosalie packed everything up and tried to get Claire to leave, but was met with her clinging onto Bella and screaming almost violently.

I watched Bella's eyes fill with tears and scooped my hysterical baby into my arms, quickly carrying her out to the hall before she could upset Bella any further.

"Shh, it's all right, my love," I cooed to her. "Mommy has to stay here and have the babies."

"No," she wailed. "I need Mommy!"

"I know you do, baby." My heart physically hurt to hear her soft cries and whimpers into my neck. "You can come back tomorrow and meet your brothers," I said softly, making sure my own brother or Rosalie didn't hear.

"No. Don' wanna."

"Claire," I sighed. I started to say more, but decided to sway her in my arms when I heard her sleepy yawn. "I love you," I whispered instead.

"Wuv you."

Within a matter of minutes, she was fast asleep in my arms. I passed her to Rosalie and watched them walk out of sight with a fucking empty hole in my chest. I scrubbed my face with my hands, bounced up and down on my feet, and tried to get the feeling to come back to my body, but it was gone. I was numb, vapid--completely drained of emotion as the events had finally took their toll on my body.

Exhaustion settled over me like a thick blanket of fog, and I walked back into the room to see Bella hiccupping as she struggled to keep the tears from streaking down her face.

I sat on the bed next to her, pushing the tray away, and pulled her into my arms. "Hey," I whispered as she sobbed against me. "She doesn't understand."

She didn't try to respond verbally, only nodded against my chest as she continued to cry. Eventually her tears dried and she sat up, wiping her face and adjusting the straps on her stomach that she'd dislodged when moving.

We turned on the TV and watched the news for a little bit, even though neither of us were interested. We were more interested in each other, in the feel of being close to one another and the brushing of skin that caused our bodies to tingle and spark. She started to shift more frequently, and I knew the medicine was beginning to work.

"Do something to distract me," she said suddenly.

"Like what?" I asked with a chuckle.

"I don't know," she muttered.

"Well, I could whisper sweet nothings into your ear," I said with a crooked grin, teasing her. "I could tell you how incredibly sexy I think those breasts of yours have become and that your ass is delectable." She giggled. "That I've loved seeing the boys grow inside you, even though I've missed a lot of it, and I promise that next time, I won't miss a single minute of it." I cupped her face in my hands and looked at her seriously for the last part. "I can't imagine anyone else being the mother of my children. I can't imagine creating life with anyone else and watching our kids grow up to become these miraculous blends of the two of us. You are such an amazing mother, so wonderful with Claire. I can't wait to see how you are with these two."

A tear fell from her eye as she smiled at me. "That was the best compliment I could ever have heard. Thank you, even if it started out as a joke."

"None of it was a joke, love." I kissed her hard. "Not a single word."

I went down to the gift shop and poked around for a few minutes, looking to find something to keep Bella and I busy for the next few days. I found a couple of travel board games and picked them up before I walked over to a rack of baby clothes.

Hanging there, were these outrageously tiny sleepers with stars and stripes all over them in celebration for the fourth. Isaac and Will wouldn't be born on the fourth, most likely tomorrow, a mere day away, but they were so cute with their matching hats and blankets, I couldn't resist. It was probably a stupid, impulsive purchase, since they most likely wouldn't be coming home any time soon, but I bought them along with two blue preemie sleepers with frogs on them anyway.

"Twin boys?" the clerk asked as she rang up everything.

Normally, I would have denied it, but I knew at this point, it didn't matter. Even if some reporter were to find out about the babies being boys, word wouldn't get out until they were already born and our family had been told the news.

"Yeah," I said, grinning happily.

"How exciting," she said pleasantly. "Fraternal or identical?"

"Fraternal."

"Are they your first?"

I handed her my card and shook my head. "No, we already have a daughter."

She handed me the receipt and finally looked at me. Recognition colored her face as I signed the slip. "Oh, Dr. Cullen. I'm sorry, I see so many people come in and out of here, I don't even pay attention anymore."

"It's fine. I actually prefer the anonymity."

"I understand." She handed me the bag. "Good luck and congratulations."

"Thank you."

Bella and I played a game of Scrabble, laughing at some of the words we came up with. I did my best to score points and come up with words, but I was no match for Bella.

"I just seriously got my ass kicked," I said with a laugh after I'd tallied up our points.

"That's what happens when you play a word game with a writer," she said smugly.

"No, that's what happens when I play a game with you." I checked the monitor again. "You pressure's down," I said with a smile.

"Is it? Have you been watching that thing all day?"

"I might have looked at it once or twice," I said sheepishly.

My phone rang, interrupting the conversation. I picked it up and breathed a sigh of relief. "Ben."

"What's going on?" He was breaking up a little. "You're at the hospital? Did I understand that correctly?"

"Yeah. Bella's got preeclampsia so her doctor opted to induce labor. The babies will be here sometime tomorrow."

"No shit?" He paused. "We won't be there. God, your parents are going to be so upset."

"Where are you?" I questioned.

"We're a little past Pierre, South Dakota."

"You'll be here on Sunday morning, like we planned. Damn it," I pinched the bridge of my nose. "All right, can you flag everyone down and let them know what's going on?"

"Sure, man. I'll pull over at the next exit. Good luck. Call me when things pick up."

I put the phone down and picked up my water, drinking deeply. "They won't be here until Sunday," I told Bella.

"Oh." She gave me a smile. "That's okay. My parents will be here. And so will Emmett and Rosalie."

"Yeah, but it would have been nice to tell everyone at once that they were boys."

She shrugged. "Maybe they'll surprise us. You know how determined everyone is. I bet they've decided to start taking shifts to drive through the night to get here on time."

I laughed. "You're probably right." I held up the game of Boggle. "Want to play this one?"

"Ooh, Boggle." Bella's eyes lit up. "I haven't played that in years."

"Well, today's your lucky day."

Bella

"Oh, God. Oh, God," I chanted over and over as the medicine they'd administered began dilating me.

Edward scooted next to me and put his hand on my cheek. "Do you need anything to dull the pain?"

I shook my head. "No. I'm not even contracting yet, am I?"

He glanced at the monitor. "No."

"What the hell is this shit that they gave me?" I whined.

"Cervidil," he answered. "It takes up to twelve hours to work."

"It's been four. I don't ever want it again."

He chuckled. "You weren't dilated. They can't give you Pitocin until you're dilated some. Why don't we try to get some sleep?"

"Sleep?" I scoffed. "Right."

"Do you remember how exhausted you were after you had Claire?" I nodded. "If everything goes according to plan, you'll be doing that twice. You need sleep."

I let out a loud breath. "Okay. Sleep."

I closed my eyes and took his hand with mine as I settled into the bed. I listened to the constant galloping sounds of our sons' heartbeats and slowly found that I was able to ignore the sporadic pain that radiated throughout my lower abdomen.

But I couldn't sleep.

I opened one eye and peeked up at Edward, who was looking down at me with an amused expression on his face. "I can't sleep. I'm too wound up."

"I see that."

I bit my lip. "Everything's going to be all right, isn't it?"

"As long as you don't make a scene like you did in Dr. Townsend's office and raise your blood pressure again, it will." He leaned closer to me. "What was that all about, anyway?"

"I don't know," I said softly. "I heard babies and NICU and flipped out. We don't have anything for them. What if they come out perfectly healthy? Then what? Where will we put them? We haven't even signed for the house yet. And what if there's something wrong? What if they're attached to feeding tubes, ventilators, lights, and whatever else for months?"

"So what if we have to go out a buy a couple car seats, some diapers, clothes, blankets, and a cradle to make it until the house is set up? That's nothing. What scares me is that your condition changed so drastically in the last week. What if you weren't on bed rest and going in for weekly appointments? You do realize if an extra week had gone by, at the rate you were progressing, I had the potential to lose all three of you, if not at least one of you." His eyes glassed over. "Bella, I wouldn't be able to stand it. I don't think I could live through that." He gave me a watery smile. "So, having them attached to a couple tubes and in heated cribs for a few weeks max is nothing compared to what could've been."

He was right. The knowledge that even though I'd read all the pregnancy books and knew the symptoms and still hadn't realized that something was wrong latched on to my heart and drug it through hot coals. Things could have been so, so much worse. I couldn't even begin to picture the outcome of what might have been for fear of spiking my blood pressure with grief and causing the vision to become a reality.

"Can I blame it on my wild pregnancy hormones?" I asked weakly.

"Absolutely. You've only got a few weeks of that left. Once you level out, you're shit out of luck if you go mental again." He grinned and glanced at the monitor again. "Are you hurting any?"

I shook my head. "No, why?"

"Because I think Pitocin may be unnecessary. The monitor just beeped like you had a small contraction."

"Braxton Hicks? I barely notice them anymore."

"It's possible," he agreed. "I suppose we'll have to wait and see."

After a while, I drifted in and out of sleep, vaguely aware of the noises the nurses made as they checked the IV level and made idle conversation with Edward. The nurse came in and checked me again, and I immediately fell back to sleep after we were informed I was two centimeters dilated. Only this time, I couldn't escape the outcome of what might have been.

Instead, I laid there, futilely trying to calm myself down, as I struggled against the picture my grotesque mind was trying to paint of a funeral with tiny white caskets and white flowers draped on top of them as Edward and I sat in the front row in solid black--a stark contrast to the white--weeping uncontrollably while Claire roamed in front of our feet.

The pain was unbearable, like a sinking weight, pulling me under. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe--all I could feel was the silent agony of loss. There was nothing but blackness as it drug me deeper and deeper into the pit as the pain grew more and more with each second, torturously raking over me like a white-hot branding iron.

It was inescapable.

Then it was me, looking down at Edward who held our sons in his arms while his chest heaved with the anguish sobs that he cried. I quickly realized he was crying over me, and nearly went mad fighting against it. I thrashed wildly and was suddenly pinned down by Edward's strong arms as I gasped for air. I snapped my eyes open and was met with his incredibly anxious expression.

"A dream. Oh, thank God," I cried.

"You fell asleep again for ten minutes." His frantic eyes searched my face. "What happened?"

I shook my head and blinked my tear filled eyes. "Nightmare."

I knew it was just a nightmare because I was here, in the hospital, on the verge of becoming a mother again. We'd caught it in time and there was no way I was going to let either of those dreams become my fate.

The loud thumping of my heartbeat echoed the boys' in the silent room. Edward hovered over me, running his hands in frenzied movements all over my body until I calmed down.

Once assured I was calm, he stood up and scrubbed his face with his hands. "Nightmare," he muttered. "Christ, you scared the hell out of me. I thought something was seriously wrong. Like you'd gone into convulsions or something. I was ready to hit the code button and start CPR."

"I'm sorry." My voice broke with the tears I was trying to keep away.

He took my hand with his. "Don't be sorry. I'd much rather it be a nightmare than what was going through my mind." He brushed his lips over my knuckles. "Not that I'm glad you had a nightmare. Are you all right?"

I nodded. "I'm fine now. A little embarrassed..." I blushed to prove my point.

"What was it about?" he asked softly.

"Your words earlier. The fact that this could have been so much worse. I guess my imagination went wild with it. I saw us crying over caskets and then you holding the boys in your arms, crying over me." My breath hitched. "The feeling that came over me was awful." I shuddered with the memory.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I know," I whispered. "Can you pull that couch closer so that you're next to me?"

He didn't answer, just moved the couch as close as he could and sprawled out on it. He reached up and intertwined our fingers together, running his thumb over my palm comfortingly and humming my lullaby to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, snuggling up to his hand and feeling that safety that I only felt in his arms, his presence.

"Better?" he asked after a while.

I nodded sleepily. "Thank you."

I woke up with a searing pain clenching down on my stomach. I groaned and fisted the pillow in my hand as I waited for the contraction to die down. "Drugs," I grunted. "Now."

Edward hit the call button and stared down at me in worried wonder. "They gave you Pitocin at six when they checked you again. It's working already?"

I simply nodded and shifted around on the bed, careful not to move the monitors that were strapped around the expanse of my stomach. Edward pulled the sheet that showed my contractions out and read it with an intense look of concentration. I noticed his hair was still damp from the shower he must've taken when I fell back to sleep.

"I'm exhausted," I said with a yawn.

"I'd imagine so. All that falling asleep, only to be woken up again every hour has to be tiring."

I gave him a look. "How come you're not tired?"

He shrugged. "You know me. I don't need a lot of sleep to be able to function properly." He held up his cup of coffee and flashed me a grin. "Plus, I ran downstairs and picked up this."

"Must be nice," I muttered.

"Would you like some water?" he questioned seriously.

I shook my head. "No. I'm just jealous. You get to eat, drink whatever you want, shower. But at least you're not flaunting it in my face."

"No." His face went into a blank mask as I struggled through another contraction, but he couldn't hide the horror in his eyes.

"You're not any better at watching this than you were the first time, are you?" I asked between my teeth.

He shook his head and gripped my hand. "I hate to see you in pain."

"It's for a good reason."

He gave me a small, crooked smile. "I know. But it doesn't make it any easier."

The nurse came in and Edward gave her specific instructions to give me something to take the edge off, making me laugh at him.

"What?"

"You. Telling everyone what I need."

"Sorry." He ran his hand through his hair. "You don't want an epidural already, do you?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to be numb all afternoon. Who knows how long this is going to take?"

"They're planning to break your water at ten. Things should progress fairly quickly after that."

The rest of the day was a blur, thanks to the pain meds Edward had asked for. I remembered Emmett and Rosalie coming in for a while, before taking the kids back out to the waiting room. I was hurting too much to really play and talk to Claire, much to my disappointment. But today, she wasn't nearly as upset when Edward walked her out of the room, even smiling and waving at me as she did.

Just like Edward had said, Dr. Townsend came in and broke my water at ten and I immediately took Edward's advice and asked for an epidural, even though it wound up being a complete waste of breath. Within the hour, they were setting everything up and before eleven, I was fully dilated, just as the anesthesiologist made his way to my room.

Of course.

I sat up and gripped onto Edward's hand as they positioned me. "Ready?" he asked seriously.

I shook my head. "No," I said shakily.

"Why are you scared?" he asked with an amused grin. "You'll be just fine." With a nod from Dr. Townsend, he gave me a quick kiss. "Start pushing with your next contraction."

I felt like an idiot, sitting there with my legs spread open as I waited for another contraction. My stomach tightened up as a wave of pain enveloped me. "Oh, shit. The drugs are wearing off!"

Edward looked absolutely horrified as I started to push. I could feel everything. I cried out as the pressure slowly built, but never stopped pushing. I needed to get this over as quickly as possible so that I didn't faint with the thought of what was happening.

"Are you all right?" Edward asked anxiously, wiping my forehead with a damp cloth. "You went a little green."

"No," I whined. "I can feel everything. I think I'm going to be sick." My stomach pitched and rolled with my words.

"Bella, you need to push again," Dr. Townsend said, staring up at me.

I nodded and clenched my teeth with the pain, using it to concentrate on getting the first baby out. I pushed, I panted, only resting long enough for Edward to wipe the ridiculous amount of sweat that was dripping down from my hair before I started the process all over again. Dr. Townsend yelled at me to stop, just as a searing burn started to radiate between my legs.

I screamed and pulled Edward down against me, holding on to him so tightly that my knuckles went white. He was saying all sorts of things, but everything was incomprehensible as I fought with the urge to push with another contraction. At Dr. Townsend's cue, I pushed again, and was welcomed with the most beautiful sound in the world--my son's first cry.

"He's incredible," Edward breathed as Isaac was placed on my chest.

I could only flutter my hands helplessly while Edward cut the cord. His matted hair was thick and dark, and his tiny, pink body shook as he wailed loudly on my chest. I sobbed once as Edward's lips met mine, just as the nurse swooped in and took Isaac to the incubator to examine him.

"He has a good set of lungs on him." Dr. Townsend's eyes crinkled above her mask with her smile. "Are you ready to do it again?"

"No," I replied with a bleak laugh.

A fresh wave of pain rolled through me, and I started pushing again, but this time, something was off.

"Something's not right," I ground out. It seemed like Will was making no progress.

The thundering of Will's heartbeat slowed to a crawl as the contraction grew stronger and stronger, making Edward gasp as he stared at the monitor. I sat in stunned silence as the heartbeat slowly picked up speed once the contraction had died down.

And like I'd been hit by a Mack truck, I started shouting as I realized what was happening. "Get him out! Get him out!" I grabbed Edward's shirt. "Cut me open, just do something to get him out!" I pleaded.

Fear had turned me into a hysterical, sweaty mess.

Edward shook his head, his eyes were full of terrified fire. "You can do this. Don't panic."

The nurses started running around the room, gathering things as fast as they could, while Dr. Townsend grabbed a scalpel and a needle. I felt the pinching of the needle, then the stinging as she sliced into me.

"Push harder, Bella!" she commanded.

I pushed with all my might, holding onto my knees and praying to God I got him out in time. His heartbeat decelerated again, but I gallantly forced the knot of panic down and kept going. The contraction died down, and Dr. Townsend put the end of the vacuum to the top of Will's head.

"Again, Bella. Harder."

I grunted with the effort I put into the push as the whir of the vacuum sounded loudly below me. I could feel him moving, crookedly, and gasped as the pain lanced through me. I fought through it and pushed again and again, until the room grew silent.

"He's out," Edward murmured, his voice cracking. "The chord was wrapped around his neck." I looked up to see his face was wet with tears.

There was no loud cry, nothing, except for the clicks of Dr. Townsend's instruments and the sounds of the nurses talking to one another when they took him to the incubator and started rubbing their hands all over him, trying to stimulate his breathing.

"No, no, no," was all I could say through my tears. I vaguely noticed that I felt strange, weak and woozy, but I ignored it. The only thing I could focus on was my son.

The seconds ticked by endlessly as I stared at the timer on the top of the incubator, showing that it had been over a minute and still, there wasn't a sound. We finally heard the whimpering of Will's easy cry, causing me to break down in Edward's arms as the relief and emotion surged through me.

"Oh, thank God," he sobbed against me. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you," I whispered back. "What's he look like? I didn't get to see him."

"He's got my hair," he said with a smile.

I pulled my anxious gaze away from the incubators on the other side of the room and looked up at my husband. The light was hazy around his face, and I slowly felt my eyes start to try to close as my entire body sagged. My sight grew blurry, unfocused, and I blinked rapidly to try to bring his worried face back into view.

"Edward?" I managed to choke out, just before everything went black.

Yeah, yeah. Cliffie, I know....

So, the last part, the part about Will's birth, was basically what happened when my son was born. I tried to describe it as best as possible without being overly dramatic and graphic, but it's hard to put that fear on paper.

And that would be why we have no more kids. Because there is no way I could push my luck again.