This is really part two of the prior chapter.

The Row

Alistair, Morrigan, Leliana and Wynne were all sitting at a table at the inn, obviously waiting for us. Alistair leapt up with a scowl on his face as Zevran and I walked in.

"Maker's breath, Lissy, I thought..." he looked at Zevran.

I had a huge grin on my face. "Zevran and I had a little project to do today."

Zevran plopped down three enormous sacks of money on the table.

"Six hundred sovereigns," I said. "Thanks to Zevran."

"What? Did you kill someone?" Alistair glared at us.

"What? Oh good grief, no! We just... parted a fool from his money. A particularly nasty fool at that." I beamed at Zevran. "He sold me to Arl Howe for six hundred gold. Or rather, he sold an Antivan Paso Fino for that amount." I giggled. "Then, when it got dark outside, he unlocked the stable and I sneaked out."

Morrigan laughed. "Well done, you two."

Wynne and Alistair both looked scandalized. Leliana looked amused.

"Elissa, you can't do that! You're known in Denerim. We're wanted criminals. We have reputations as Grey Wardens!"

"No one is the wiser," I said. "I was a horse, and Zevran was disguised." I held one of the large sacks in front of Alistair. "That is going to go a long ways towards equipping us, helping us raise the army we need, and end this Blight."

Alistair didn't answer, but I could tell he was angry.

Zevran flagged down a waiter and I ordered a plate of lamb roast, a serving of shepard's pie, a bowl of stew and a flagon of ale. Zevran ordered something much smaller. While we were waiting I told how Zevran sold me to Arl Howe and how he told them that I was like a mabari and could understand the King's tongue.

I was describing how terrible a rider Howe was and how he fell off when he was showing off in front of Bryland and then beat me for it. The welts were still very painful.

"Would you heal them for me, Wynne?" I asked.

She sniffed disdainfully. "I signed up to work with Grey Wardens, not common criminals. Heal them yourself."

I was hurt.

"Never mind, Warden," Zevran said, "I'll rub elf root into them later."

Alistair glared at Zevran. "Please heal her, Wynne," he said gruffly.

Wynne rolled her eyes and a surge of blue light rolled over me and the welts disappeared.

"Thank you," I said meekly.

Alistair got up. "I'm going to my room. Come by after you finish eating, Elissa."

Oh boy, he hadn't called me Elissa in ages, he must be really mad. Wynne got up too and left. Morrigan, Leliana, Zevran and I remained. Sten apparently had stayed in his room all night.

Zevran and I told our story to the more receptive audience left behind and we ordered drinks for them as well.

The four of us laughed over it, but the sweetness of our victory was dulled by the reaction from Alistair and Wynne. Wynne in particular disturbed me. I sincerely hoped I could patch things up with her.

I trudged upstairs after I finished eating and knocked on Alistair's door.

"Come in," he said.

I opened the door and came in, closing it quietly behind me.

"Alistair, I'm sorry..." I started to say.

"Elissa, stop," he said. He didn't sound angry, just disappointed.

"I thought you were dead. When you and Zevran just disappeared, I thought he had finally carried out his job. Why didn't you tell me what you were doing?" he asked, surprisingly calmly.

I looked down, feeling horribly guilty. I had been pretty thoughtless, I realized. I hadn't told him anything, not even that we would be gone all day and into the night. I was so used to acting independently I hadn't really thought through what he might think. The hurt on his face pierced me like a knife.

"I thought you would stop me," I said, truthfully.

"I would have tried to," he admitted. "What you did goes against everything I believe."

I nodded. "I won't apologize for conning a huge sum of money we desperately need from a vile worm like Howe. We're going to use that money for gear we need, and to help speed us on our way to raise our allies. However, I do apologize for not informing you. I should have risked your disapproval rather than let you think something had happened to me."

"I'm not a child, Lucy. I may have been sheltered, but I'm still a man, not a child. You need to stop treating me as one."

Ugh. He was utterly right. I had been thinking of him as being a child. I remembered how it was in my twenties. I felt like I was an adult, yet there was so very much I still didn't know about, things it took me a long, long time to understand, or if not understand, to at least be able to deal with without being utterly rent apart emotionally.

"I'll try to do better, Alistair." I sat on the edge of his bed. "There's something else we need to talk about. Please sit."

He looked at me warily and sat down, a good distance from me.

"One thing Duncan impressed on me during the short time I knew him is he would do absolutely anything to end the Blight. He would sacrifice anything and anyone. The fact that he conscripted Elissa as her parents waited for their death, says a lot about how ruthless he could be when faced with the Blight and moral ambiguity."

"He saved her life. Your life!" Alistair protested.

"Absolutely, but the fact is, she didn't want to go at that particular point in time. She was conscripted. Perhaps she thought she could stay behind and defend her parents and help them get away. We won't ever know. Maybe he did it to save a pretty, young girl, or maybe he did it because he thought it would help against the Blight. What do you think?"

"Both," he said. "I think he conscripted her because she would have died there. That she was also a capable fighter was a bonus."

"Okay, I'll buy that. But there were lots of other people he could have rescued in that Castle. If he was simply being chivalrous he could have rescued one or more of the elven servants. But Elissa was a Cousland, someone potentially very useful in ending the Blight. Not just due to her fighting skills but her influence as a noble."

Alistair frowned, looking angry. "You make him sound like he was a cold-hearted schemer."

"I think he was incredibly pragmatic and kind, Al. He was extremely patient with me. Think of what another person might have done. He might have killed me, or handed me over to the templars. Instead, he saw I could still be useful, even though I nearly hashed everything up.

"Is that kindness or pragmatism?" I said. "Was it kindness or pragmatism when he encouraged me to sleep with the King to keep him on our side, against Loghain, even though I was involved with Bendrick?

"What about you?" I asked. "He recruited you away from the Chantry, conscripted actually."

"I wanted to go!" Alistair said.

"But did he do it because he knew, somehow, that you wanted to leave? Or were his reasons that you were a great fighter and the bastard son of the King? Were you the best fighter the Chantry had? Why did he and the Grand Cleric tussle over you? Perhaps they were both aware of your heritage and each of them saw a use for you in whatever plans they had."

His face was growing more angry. "Stop saying these things about Duncan. He wasn't like that."

"Didn't Duncan ever impress upon you that the Grey Wardens did whatever it takes to end the Blight? If those things involved doing things that were morally ambiguous, do you think Duncan would have refused to do them? In the few days I knew him I had already had that lesson drummed into my head. I knew the consequences of failing. Honesty, ethics, morality and honor only have meaning when there's people around to practice them. Did you ever stop to wonder why we're called Grey Wardens? Maybe it has something to do with where we stand morally."

"Are you wanting me to say it was right of you to steal money?" Alistair fumed, "because I'm not going to."

"No," I said, resigning myself to the fact we'd never see eye-to-eye on this, "but you should know that I believe it was the right thing to do, and I won't hesitate to do it again if I believe it will help us accomplish what I was brought here for. However, next time I will inform you ahead of time. I am truly sorry I didn't."

I got up and walked over to the door.

"One more thing," I turned to him to say, "Zevran has my trust. He could have taken that six hundred gold, killed me on numerous occasions, and he hasn't."

"Perhaps he isn't going to kill us, but I still don't trust him," Alistair said.

I nodded and turned back to the door and turned the handle.

"Lucy..." he said, saying my real name again for the second time in the night. "I can't lose you too." The words sounded strangled with emotion.

I turned back again and saw he was fighting tears. I ran over to him and hugged him.

"I know, Alistair. I know." I squeezed him tightly, trying to reassure him. "I'm here. I'm your friend. I won't abandon you. I promise I'll be more considerate in the future."

He wrapped his big arms around me and I could barely draw a breath. "I can't do this without you. I'm sorry. I just thought... you were dead... I didn't know what to do next."

That was not good. If either of us died we would have to carry on. He needed more self-confidence. I was going to have to make sure he could step up if anything happened to me.

"Al, you have what it takes to go on without me, if something should happen, don't ever doubt it. We have to find the Urn, get the Dalish and the Dwarves to agree to fight with us. Then we march into Denerim and tell Loghain his army better join us or else. We find the archdemon, we kill it. The end!"

Alistair started to laugh. "You make it sound so easy."

"It is easy," I said. "One foot in front of the other. Everyday we get a little closer to our goal." I hugged him a little longer, but I was so tired after my grueling day of being a horse. "Are you going to be okay?" I asked him.

"Don't go," he said, still holding onto me tightly.

"We both need some sleep. It was awful being Howe's horse for the day. He was a terrible rider and keeping him on my back took it out of me."

He finally let go of me. "You're right. We should leave early tomorrow."

"Actually, I was thinking we could do some shopping and get some better equipment. I didn't get my armor fixed. Maybe we could just replace it? What about you? A new shield and sword? Better armor? Maybe that mage shop has something for Morrigan and Wynne?"

Alistair smiled. "I guess we could do a little shopping first. But we are leaving tomorrow."

I nodded. "I agree. I'm ready to get out of here before Loghain gets wind of us being here."

He hugged me again briefly and I hugged him back and went to my room. I was vastly relieved that he seemed to have forgiven me, now I just needed to worry about Wynne. I changed into Teagan's shirt and burrowed into bed, hoping the next day was a little less stressful.