Guardian angels are actually ghosts from hell who want to get into heaven via "community service" you've been assigned to be the guardian angel to Stacie Conrad, this is bound to be interesting (another Steca, because the world needs more of it)
21. I'll guide you through the night
Well this sucks, what the hell did I do to get into hell, no wait, I get it. It might have something to do with the murder of my father, and several others I once knew. Or it might have something to do with the kilos drugs I brought in. anyway, this is not a nice place to stay forever so I guess I'll do the one thing to get out, yes, you probably guessed it: community service as a guardian angel. Just like I never though heaven or hell was real, I never believed in guardian angels. Truth is, I didn't even know what the hell they do so I looked it up, didn't really get a good answer out of that so when my request got accepted I asked Michael, yup, the archangel himself. And this is what he said, I kid you not
"for each who is righteous, for those who deserve his protection, he sends guardian angels who will protect, who will guide and make sure trouble stays away, from birth until the last breath. It is your job to pray for their soul and make sure they don't have to do what you do and make it to heaven right away"
And stupid little me had to say something dumb "so I have to make sure they don't die in a car crash"
He sighted but then chuckled "yes, make sure they don't get sick, make sure they feel good, help them find peace and most important, make sure they stay on the right path. He doesn't care what you do as long as it's within the lines and even though this person doesn't believe in god, you can pray for them"
"okay, now I have two more questions, is it alright if I ask them"
He nodded, so I went for it "can they see me, or somehow contact me, can we communicate?"
"no, it is not possible for them to see you, as for communication, there are ways but it has to be initiated by the human and sadly that doesn't happen very often"
"alright, do I have to wear a dress or something? Because I would love to wear my own clothes"
Again he chuckled and shook his head "the transformation will take place in a few days, as well as your placement on earth, now go, young guardian, remember why you're doing this always"
And I nodded, and left just like he ordered me. The transformation was weird, I have to wear all white clothes but at least it's not a dress. I got wings, it's really cool, I can fly now. I also got some lessons in how to be a guardian angel and I learned some more cool stuff, I got a summary of what to expect and long story short. A lifetime is really long and there will be moments when you want to give up but you can't do that, this person needs you. So there's that. now it's my time to leave, today's the day I'm gonna meet Anastacia Belle Conrad, the girl who's life I have to follow.
I wave Michael goodbye and he wishes me good luck, the next second I'm in a hospital room, there's someone crying and I walk to the happy couple. The mother is holding Anastacia in her arms and the father is looking at them both with love in his eyes, Stacie (I like that better) is still crying though and I can't help but softly put my hand on her cheek and press a soft kiss on her head. Even though she can't see me, she stops crying and looks calmer than she was before. I can't help but feel protective over this little human, I chuckle a bit and smile to myself. Stacie has me whipped already. Stacie always calms down when I touch her, just my hand on her shoulder is enough to calm her down and to give her courage. In her first years the calming down is really handy, because baby Stacie is a real troublemaker. She's always climbing onto furniture and sometimes falling off, I haven't really figured out how to prevent certain things from happening, everything I try fails because I can't move things, I can't talk her out of it
"Stace" "no, please don't" "no" "Stacie" Anastacia" "don't you dare go up there" at this point I'm freaking out, there's a reason I never wanted kids, in my last attempt to stop her I pull her into a hug, it's a really weird hug since she doesn't hug me back "please don't do that" "please" and I know she heard me. She keeps looking around, searching the voice she just heard. Well, this turned out pretty good, now I know how I can get her to listen to me.
When dear Stacie turns 5 she has to go to school, man she is so nervous but I'm right there behind her. I get what Michael meant when he said it's gonna be a long time but I can't imagine leaving such a sweet little kid like Stacie, I love her like she's my own. So every time she needs someone, I'll be there, I'll be right behind her. So when she stands in the doorway of her classroom I put my hand on her shoulder, hesitant to go in, I give you a little push. It's not like you feel it, but I know you feel it in a weird a way. I can't explain. But you go in and be your usual happy self, making friends and shit. You're not so different than I was at your age, fun, outgoing. I really hope you don't turn out as me, killed because I had a double life. One where I was happy, the normal teen life, party every night and spent time with your friends. I loved those times, I could be careless and free, I was always afraid my friends would find out about my other life. I guess with my death, they did. I wonder if I had a funeral, I wonder if I have a grave somewhere.
The years go by fast, I stopped counting how many times I had to convince you to go to school or to pay attention, I wonder how that'll be in high school. Luckily for me, you're really smart and school is not a problem. You're growing into a beautiful woman and the boys are after you, you soon get your first crush, but it's not on a boy like everybody expected. Nope, you fell for your best friend, Mackenzie, but she wasn't into girls and the whole school found out that you were gay. You didn't and still don't let it stop you, you're proud of it and I'm proud of you. Some boys catch you alone after school, this is where I make my first human contact in over 14 years, the boys decided to fuck the gay out of you and I get so angry. Before I know it I appear in between Stacie and the boys, angel wings and all (it's very intimidating when there is an angel in front of you, I even have one of those golden rings floating above my head) and I say "in the name of the lord himself I promise you, that if you touch or do this woman any wrong I will personally make sure you burn in hell for it. With no chance of getting out" all the lights go out and there is this glow around me that makes the whole thing even more intimidating, the boys quickly turn around and run away from the scene and as sudden as I appeared, I disappear. Leaving Stacie to wonder what the fuck that was, for the first time in years I prayed. I learned some prayers and I muttered those wherever I followed Stacie around, hoping they'd help, hoping the lord noticed that I am finally putting in effort. This one is my go to
"O God, You are the Creator and Ruler of the universe; to You we commit our lives and trust in You for all our needs. We don't understand the reason for the problems that Stacie has experienced, nor do we need to. Our intent is to trust fully and to accept fully the gifts You give as necessary and beneficial for us. Teach us to be thankful, even when our first reaction is fear and distrust. Help us be strong in our faith, to seek You, and in every circumstance to give thanks, as this is Your will for our lives. Finally, Father God, bring us both into Your presence, where all will be known to us as it has been known to You from before the beginning of time. I lift this up to You in Jesus' name. Amen."
I like this one as well
"O God, I know Stacie means so much to you and now me. I believe as You do, that she has the ability and strength to carry on in the midst of this difficulty. Give her a clear mind, a peaceful mind and Your guidance. I bring this to You only because of Your Son, Jesus, Amen."
But I have so many more, I can't say that I'm a religious person, my past shows this but I do believe that my prayers can actually help Stacie and that's why I intent to keep them going at every moment that I can so that Stacie can have the best life I can ever give her.
High school is finished, you're 18 now and I can't believe how fast time has gone, it feels like yesterday that I first saw you and now you're off to college.
Why do you have to sleep with so many people? Seriously, someone else every other night? I'm lucky you're into girls otherwise I would've had to get you so many condoms, then I'm not even talking about the diseases you could get. Really, do whatever makes you happy but take it easy and hear me when I say "be careful, always". And also, fuck you Stacie! I want to be the one to kiss those lips but instead I have to watch every night how you fuck some other girl, it's really shitty. Oh and the parties, don't even get me started on the damn parties. You're only in your second year and I have to say that you have the looks of a model but that's not always positive since you get a lot of attention from dudes who will try to spike your drink. But there's always this voice in the back of your head telling you to not drink that one cup and just grab a new one, my voice, lucky for me, you listen. You think about that accident when you were 14 a lot, somehow you can't get over it and I've seen you google what it might be countless times. If only you knew.
In your final year at Barden University a similar thing happens, this time it takes a little more persuasion to get that dude to leave you alone, I show up in the same fashion
"in the name of the Lord himself I command you to go, get out of here and not bother Stacie anymore"
"who the fuck are you"
"I am but a servant that was sent here to prevent you from making a stupid decision tonight" I take a step closer to him and put my hand where his heart is, I show him visions from my time in Hell. He's screaming, of course he is. Like I said, Hell is not the place to be "leave or I'll make sure this will be your world really soon" and he does, he runs like his life depends on it and once again, I disappear into a vast nothingness and you're left with the same questions as you were almost 10 years ago. If nothing, even more. You remember the words I said to the boy and when you google those, you are pretty certain that you have a guardian angel. But you also read that there is no way to ever speak to them so after several hours of studying the subject, even buying a fucking bible, you give up. You're 23 when you graduate college, you get offered a job in New York so that's where you move. Far away from home or your friends, you move in with a person you don't know. Which is getting used to because you have a habit of talking to me but for everybody else that would just be talking to yourself, which is considered weird. this is also the time you stopped sleeping around and took your life more serious, my time is usually spent watching you work but that's not new I guess.
You have a terrible habit of not looking when you cross the street, it's annoying as fuck! For real, stop that bullshit, just look right, left, right, and then cross the fucking street. It happened today again, I had to pull your freaking hair to get you to stop walking. You're save though and now sleeping.
Meanwhile I got a visit from Michael
"you have done well Beca, however, your work here is done. I'm taking you with me, to show you your new home"
"wait what? What'll happen to Stacie?"
"Stacie will be assigned a new guardian, as I said, your work here is done, He's happy with you"
I look at Stacie's sleeping form one last time and silently wish her the best of luck, I nod to Michael and a second later we're standing at the gates of heaven. This time I'm allowed to go in, I follow Michael to a house in fields. He lets me in and explains what'll happen from now on, I ask him if I can go see my friends and he points at the TV, you'll figure it out. That's what he says.
And I do, I spent the next month's watching the TV, I can watch people on earth with it. First I found my grave, it looks peaceful. Then I found my best friend Chloe and she's married now, has two kids. Me dying snapped all of my friends out of it and they all grew up a little, good for them. the times where I don't watch TV, I run through the fields, they're endless here, I love it. I miss you though, I miss watching you, I miss your voice, I miss every little thing about you.
About a year later Michael is at my door, he's not alone
"Beca, I want you to meet your new neighbour"
"what do you mean neighbour, there's no house next to mine" I open the door only to stand face to face with you, my mouth is open in shock, I look between Michael and Stacie, settling on Michael "she died?!"
"yes Beca, sadly her time had come and that's why I brought you back here, you did a good job though because Stacie could come straight here and didn't have to go through what you did to get here"
You haven't said anything yet and honestly, I'm scared. But there's a smile on your face
"I missed you" I tell you and you nod
"I missed you too, well, your presence" somewhere along the way Michael left
"can I hug you? I mean, with you hugging me back"
You chuckle and put your arms around me, I take in you scent and let myself drown in your embrace, we stay like that for what seems like hours
"this might sound weird but I've always felt someone around me and those few times I saw you I felt a strong pull towards you and now that you're here in my arms all I want to do is scoop you up and never let you go"
I look up and meet your eyes "then what's stopping you?" I take your hand and lead you to the couch "I know you know nothing of me and I know mostly everything about you but I'm willing to tell you everything, if after that you still want to be here I will gladly be with you" the answer I get is a kiss, a promise for more
"how did you die?" you ask
"I was shot, it was a revenge murder, I went to hell because of what I did on earth and in order to come up here I had to be your guardian angel"
"what did you do?"
"I worked for a drug ring, smuggled thousands of kilos of drugs into the country and killed a few people"
"why did you change?" you're taking all of this surprisingly well, I have to give you credits for that
"I saw you being born and I fell in love with you, might sound creepy but you triggered something in me that I can't explain and I swore to myself that I'd do anything in my power to protect you"
"like appearing right in front of me and scaring some boys shitless by threatening to send them to Hell"
"like that yeah" I smile and look up to you, you're still here, so where does that leave us? I get my answer as you kiss me again and you promise me we'll live our happy ever after, not on earth, no, in heaven.