Standing Still - Twenty-one

Waking up in a strange place and not knowing how you got there is certainly disconcerting. I stare around my new surroundings and based on the décor and various medical equipment I guess that I'm in a hospital.

I call out for someone to explain what's happened but my voice is pretty weak and no one seems to hear me. Thinking over my last memories I try to piece everything together but there must be gaps because I just can't work it out.

"Hello, is anyone there," I call out again and wait for someone to answer.

The door opens and a friendly faced nurse walks through smiling at me like I'm an old acquaintance of hers.

"Welcome back Mr Sawyer," she says in greeting.

"What happened?"

"You were in an car accident honey, you hit your head."

"I did," I ask dumbfounded.

"Yes, you brought yourself to the emergency room. You seemed fine at first but you went down hill quickly I'm afraid. You've been sleeping for awhile."

"How long?" I wonder.

"Just over two months," she tells me.

"Why don't I remember what happened."

"Head injuries often cause memory loss, especially memories linked to the trauma," she explains.

"Two months?" I question, not able to wrap my mind around that length of time.

"Two months, one week and three days to be exact. You left a lot of people worried sick about you, probably thought you would never wake up."

"I guess so," I say in reply but I think I've stopped listening. I can't stop thinking about all the time I've missed and how quickly I'll be able to leave this place.

I try to pull myself up on the bed but I'm really stiff and my arms and legs aren't cooperating. With effort I manage to pull away the bed sheets and look down to check if everything is where it should be. After my assessment I can confirm that nothing is out of place and that my limbs are only weak, not absent.

"Everything in order," asks my nurse tucking the covers back around me.

"I think so, when do you think I'll be able to go home," I query.

"Not yet, so settle down and behave. You still have a lot of healing to do and your doctor hasn't even accessed you yet."

"Is he on his way," I ask.

"I paged HER and of course SHE'S on HER way," she replies emphasising my error.

I fall back on my pillow and close my eyes, I only wish I could remember what event brought me here.

Eventually my doctor appears and starts flashing her tiny flashlight in my eyes. The bright light hurts my head so I close my eyes and try to push her away.

She prods and pokes then continues to ask multiple questions and my head hurts more as I try to answer her. Finally recognising I'm in pain she gives me a shot of something and then everything just seems to disappear.

Colours, noises, peoples faces float around me without form, nothing seems real. Then I find myself driving in one of Greys black SUVS, I appear to be on the highway. Up ahead I hear the screeching of brakes and the sound of skidding tyres.

Then Ana and I are walking along the corridor of Grey Publishing, we're chatting and then I press the button for the elevator. We get out at the parking level and I open her car door as Reynolds pulls up beside us.

"Thank you Luke, I'll see you at the house," she says sitting down in the back seat.

I wave briefly then walk towards my own vehicle, funny it's the same one I was driving on the highway.

Things blur and stop making sense after that and inevitably I wake. Was I dreaming or was that a real memory I was reliving, I don't understand.

"Hey," says a familiar voice and turning my head I spot Taylor.

"Hey," I reply then the memory of my dream comes back to me and a sick feeling forms in the pit of my stomach.

"What happened?" I ask.

"There was an accident on the highway, a lot of people were injured," he explains.

"Where was I,"

"You were driving Grey 2,"

"Was I following Grey 1," I question dreading the answer.

"You were, it was ahead of you and unfortunately was also caught up in the accident."

"Was I following Ana, were we heading back to the house."

"You were, I'm sorry Luke but we lost someone."

I panic at his answer, my mind instantly thinking of Ana. Did she die, was she badly hurt.

"Ana?" I ask in an odd strangled voice.

"No, we lost Matthew Reynolds, he was driving the car."

"He died," I repeat rather taken aback.

Taylor nods his head and we're both silent for a moment. It's hard to understand everything that's happened and discovering Reynolds is dead is a big shock.

We worked together side by side for years and I certainly thought of him as a good friend. I wasn't at his funeral, I don't even know if his family lived nearby.

Taylor pats my shoulder as he gives me a look that's very unlike his normal professionalism. It's kind, sympathetic and in spite of my own mixed feelings his presence seems to sooth me. Looking down I nod my head and he sits back down in his chair beside the bed.

"Was Ana alright," I finally ask once the shock has lessened.

"She's a lot better but no I don't think she's alright," he replies honestly.

"What do you mean?"

"She was hurt quite badly and it's taking time for her to recover."

"Where is she, is she here at the hospital," I ask.

"No she was discharged more than a month ago, she's back home with Grey and the children."

"Good," I say out loud believing she must a lot better to have been discharged.

"Yes, she's loving being back at home but she's still pretty sick I'm afraid."

"Sick, what happened to her," I question for the hundredth time today.

"Mrs Grey has some spinal damage and sadly due to severe trauma her kidney function is practically zero."

"What?"

"She's on dialysis and having daily Physical therapy to help her gain some movement."

"Is she paralysed?" I ask softy.

"No, she's just weak like you, It's going to take time."

"I guess," I reply sadly.

It's going to take time for both of us. Still once I'm free to leave the hospital I know I'll get better, it's Ana I not so sure about.