Sorry I can't really edit this right now I'm late for school but if you all should know I'm uploading this on my birthday! Yes I am 16! Hoo-rah
Alright alright settle down people I'm blushing! :D Thank you to all who keep reviewing this made my birthday!
Hello and welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column
Question 162 comes from CAN'TLOGIN
DAILYRANDOMNESS P.S. typin on Amazon Kindle and buttons don`t totally work all that well
Are you guys locked in lizards room stocked with quackquack tape and rolled up newspapers or you in a room she rented out or something¿
Actually we're in the Room of Requirement I can't rent a room : ( NO money
what is an epiphany¿
Moony- It's when you have a sudden realization of something
Padfoot- Well duh!
Moony- =_=
can any of you sing or rap reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaallllllllly fast?
Moony- What…?
Padfoot- Yes!-
Moony- Oh God please stop!
how about billy joel we didnt start the fire speedX2? X3¿
Moony- No! No! Please!
Padfoot-*hmphs* Moony you're no fun!
How did you come up with all the nicknames¿
Padfoot- What nicknames? These?
Moony- They're our animal forms.
um. . . padfoot. . . how did you attempt to get the shirt on Bellatrix? wouldn't she. . .erm. . .NEVERMIND!
Padfoot- Well I came up behind her and tried to choke her and—wait what are you trying to say?
His name i Harry. . . Not Elfendork. . .mind if i name my kid that¿
Padfoot- But I was gonna mname my kid that!
Nancy- Thank God you didn't!
Padfoot- Hey it's a nice name!
Nancy- Yeah if you were an elf! Get it? Get it?
Padfoot & Lizard- -_-
Padfoot- I see you inherited your Uncle Remus's humor.
Moony- -_-
Technically Alice Cooper is Betty Cooper`s mom. I never knew she could sing!
Padfoot-*gasp* Alice Cooper is NOT a man!
Moony- Er actually it's a band…
Padfoot-*mutters to self* How dare she!
Moony- Alright there Padfoot?
Padfoot-*grumbling to self*
Whats a good childish prank for my brother that wont get me in trouble but he`ll still know its from me¿
Chili-
Moony & Padfoot & Nancy- NOOO!
…my bad O_o...
Padfoot- Once James got some Oreos from Remus so me and Moony here got some took off the frostinf white stuff and put some toothpaste.
Moony- James's face was funny when he bit it.
Padfoot- Yeah remember when we did that with the Twinkie?
Moony- :D
My patronus is a giraffe. When I turn into an animal i am a panda. Nicknames¿
Padfoot- Longneck and Racconeyes
Moony- Those are horrible nicknames
Padfoot- As if you could do better!
Moony- I know I can't do any worse.
Padfoot- -_-
How 'bout Lengthy and Bambooface?
Moony & Padfoot & Nancy- -_-
Hey at least I'm trying!
Nancy- Necky and Pan Pan!
Moony- Stretch and Oreo
Padfoot- Patchneck and Patcheye?
Prongs- How about LAME!
Padfoot- James what the hell?
Prongs- Scared you?
Padfoot- Yeah you queef face!
Prongs & Moony & Nancy & Lizard- WHAT?
Padfoot- *shrugs*I don't know I got it from some Hufflepuff 3rd year.
Moony- Don't use words you don't know!
Padfoot- But it sounded funny!
Well bless your innocent heart you don't know anything about it!
Padfoot- What do you mean?
Prongs- Yeah he's not that innocent!
Padfoot-*smirks*
in piano man by billy joel it says «makin love to his tonic and gin.» what does it mean¿ and state it so i can explain getly to my six year old cousin
Padfoot- He means they were FU*****!
Moony- What part of gently did you not understand?
Padfoot- Okay *whispers* fu*****…
Moony- -_-
Prongs- Just say it's what two people do when they're older like his parents and love each other. Preferably when they're married.
Moony- Wow James who knew you knew so much about sex.
Padfoot- He knows about but he doesn't know how to do it!
Prongs- I know how to do it better than you! You're terrible that's why Moony comes running to me!
Padfoot- As if! Tell him Moons!
Moony- Shut up…both of you -_-
lastly. . .
*STEALS cute puppy pictures* can i have these to put on my wall? thanks!
Padfoot- Wait we never said you could—
ADIOS AMIGOS
Moony- *sighs*
That means goodbye in spa—
Moony- I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!
O_O *whispers to the others* What's up his butt?
Prongs- Apparently he wants it to be Sirius!
Moony- -_-…I hate you guys sometimes…
Question 163 comes from imSiriuslyLupin4you
I don't mean to be rude... BUT WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY WOLFSTAR SUBSCRIPTION ? ! *fumes* Look at my USERNAME! ! ! ! IT PRACTICALLY SCREAMS 'WOLFSTAAAAR!' *grrrrr* I swear to Rowling... if I don't get my subscription by the next update, I will BITE someone... and it WONT be Padfoot because he's probably into that sort of thing... -.-
Padfoot- How did you know?
Moony- Sirius hand it over I don't want to be bit for the life of me!
Prongs- Why afraid you'll turn into a girl once a month?
Moony- -_- No Prongs I'm not.
Padfoot- Here you go *hands her one* Please don't hurt me take the Lizard she created this!
Hey!
Prongs- Are all your fangirls this crazy?
Padfoot- -_-? Jamie why are you still here?
Prongs- because Peter keeps leaving me and I'm boreddddddd
Moony- James let go of that d!
Prongs- *sighs* FFFFFiinnneee
Anyway, / like AC/DC... and Areosmith... and all 70's/80's rock...
Padfoot- Me too! Well all the 70's type of rock.
Anyway... I'm thinking about being a Marauder for halloween... Which one shall I be?
Padfoot- Me think of the chicks you'll attract! Or men…
Moony- Don't be Padfoot!
Prongs- Yeah that Big Head is already going as himself.
Padfoot- I can't help if I'm so good that I don't need a mask.
Moony & Prongs- -_-
Nancy- Dad…
Prongs- you should be me! Just wear glasses and mess up your hair or buy some crazy wig!
Padfoot- Don't forget to smile like a doofus and become obsessed with a redhead!
Yeah and be mean to Snape : (
Prongs- Ew don't tell me you like Snape! No one likes Snape!
Padfoot- That's what I said!
-_- I believe in Snames…
Prongs & Padfoot- WHAT!
Prongs- UGH *gags* AS IF AS EVER!
:D
Question 164 comes from MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword
Albus: Uh... what the heck is this "Tape"?
Me: You don't want to know. All I know is, you're still here, space-time continuum has not been messed up, and I don't really care anymore.
Albus: Oh.
Me: Nancy, it appears that you haven't discovered the full extents of the cell phone's power... press the side button right there... and WATCH THE MAGIC! xD
Nancy- Really? *pushes button*
Padfoot- ARF! ARF!
Moony- GRRR
Prongs- Bowow
Roof! Roof!
Nancy- Wait if it turned everyone inot puppies then shouldn't I turn in—Woof! Woof!
Moony- Woof! Woof! Rrrr = Push the button!
Nancy- *whimpers*= I can't no opposable thumbs!
Padfoot- Roof! Roof! = I'll use my butt!
Prongs- *appears to be laughing*
Padfoot-*sits on the cell phone and farts*
Moony- Ew Padfoot!
Nancy- Ewww! Daddy it smells!
Prongs- Yeah Pads, should we call you Gas-ass from now on?
Padfoot- Hey y'all should be grateful I just turned us back!
Yeah but you didn't have to stink up the place!
Albus: Here is our question to you:
Me: What question do you want to ask us? We'll try to answer! One question per person.
Prongs- First who the hell are you? And why is your name like Dumbles?
Moony- That's your grandson Smartness!
Prongs- Time traveling again? Okay…why are you named after Albus?
Padfoot- Yeah and why do Slytherins still exsist?
Moony- Does Professor McGonagall still work there?
Padfoot- Yeah how is Minnie?
Prongs- Looking youthful as ever?
Padfoot & Prongs- *snort*
Nancy- Is Teddy dating James?
Prongs- Who me?
Nancy- No other James…because that would be so hottt!
I know right? :D
Prongs- O.O! I'm grateful you're not talking about me but when you mention my name like that…
Albus: Actually, I had another question... we need to prank the Slytherins. They're bullying Scorpius again, since he's in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin, so we need a good prank. A really good one.
Prongs- Who's Scorpius?
Lucius's grandson.
Prongs- Ahhhh…shouldn't that kid be in Slytherin? Have you tried Levicrpus?
Padfoot- Or the old dungbombs?
Prongs- Or kidnapping one of them and demanding a ransom?
Padfoot- Is that what you did? I thought you were the pedobear when I saw that kid tied up on your bed.
Prongs- :D Maybe I am…
*everyone*- O_o!
Me: Oh, right... as long as it doesn't get us expelled.
Prongs- If they learn to keep their mouth shut you won't :D
Moony- you scare me sometimes Prongs…
By the way... the thing with Lily? It's not stopping. Stupid hyperactive brain cells are going crazy in that girl.
Prongs- Lily?
Granddaughter
Prongs- Is everyone named after someone?
Moony- Pretty much
Albus: Gifts... Padfoot, another centaur blood t-shirt.
Padfoot- Heh heh this time VICTORY IS MINE!
Me: It says, "Slytherins Rule!" so you can pass it off as a gift from a secret admirer. ;)
Padfoot- What are you saying?
James can give it to Snape!
Moony- It kills you you know
Oh then never mind!
Prongs- No no if you insist
: ( You better not!
Albus: Remus, we got you chocolate. But it's not just any chocolate... this literally stimulates brain activity. I used it during OWLs... didn't get caught.
Moony- I don't need it I'm smart enough but chocolate's chocolate! Gimme! Gimme!
Padfoot- Hey share some of us need that brain power!
Me: For Lizard... guess what? A ticket to heaven. It's a free conversation with Dumbledore. Talk to him about your stress issues... it's far beyond what we can handle at this point...
I don't have stress-*yanks ticket and leaves*
Padfoot- What a hippogriff!
Albus: And Nancy, we got you an invisible box. It turns anything inside it invisible... hope you can find it...
Nancy- -_- Gee, thanks *walks around* AH! *trips* Found it!
Me: See you later!
*everyone*- BYE!
Question 165 comes from RemmyBlack
Moony's right, I'm a Slytherin but that is NOT the reason for the evil laugh..the evil laugh was a result of me having lots of sugar (like a two whole tub of sugar) while watching Megamind one thousand times...
Hehe I've seen that movie!
Padfoot- Hey you're back!
Moony- What happened?
*shrugs* I had an epiphany
Prongs- Nice! Hey Nancy put this cloak that my dad gave me in the box!
Anywhere... :P
Have you guys been to the Hufflepuff common room? What's it look like?
AWESOME!
Padfoot & Prongs- Eh -_-
Moony- Very bumblebeeish
Nancy- I'll say.
So...*picks up a white fluffy dog* Look! It's a Tux! (inside joke you won't get :3)
Padfoot- *being the idiot he is laughs anyways*
Prongs- I do not know this mutt…*backs away from Sirius*
If you wanna know the type of dog, he is a Japanese spitz (and they are so cute)...soooo *climbs up the nearest statue with blanket and little toy bunny* NIGHTY NIGHT!
Padfoot- Is everyone crazy?
Moony- No just you.
Padfoot- -_-?
Prongs & Moony- :D
Question 166 comes from Klaine Lover
Yo.
*everyone except Moony*- What up Blood?
Moony- I don't know them…
Well I'm always loyal to Klaine and Wevid...
Klaine&Wes: What!
Me: Well it's true.
Wes: I found a song for me to sing.
Me: What?
Wes: Girlfriend
Me: Ohhh Hell no I say 'You Belong with me' By Taylor Swift...
Wes: Fine so when David getting here?
Me: Soon.
David: *walks into room* sup people
Klaine, Wes&Me: sup David.
Me: Okay David is here to the senior common room!
At senior's common room
Me: Hit the music!
*Music starts playing*
Wes:
You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do
But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me
Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
[ From: . ]
Padfoot- Hurry go to the website!
I'm trying I'm trying!
*computer blows up*
-_- Great…
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me
Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?
You belong with me
Me &Klaine: *applause*
David: *speechless* *clears throat* That is a wonderful song Wes but you're my best friend I can't just dump my girlfriend for my best friend.
Me: Well David you fucker how could you say that? Wes loves you and you go breaking his heart. You know what you suck. *walks away*
Klaine &Wes: Wait Klaine Lover.
David: *turns to Lizard* What did I do wrong?
What did you do wrong? *clueless*
Nancy-*absorbed with texting*
Padfoot- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?DUMP THAT BITCH AND GO OUT WITH WESSSSS!AHHHH!
I CAN'T STAND UNREQUITED LOVE!
Prongs- Welcome to my world Wes.
Moony- I agree you should go with Wes, if you feel the same.
Me: Oh Well Moony thanks for your answers Lizard, Padfoot and Nancy you guys didn't answer me ;A;
Padfoot & Nancy & Lizard- SORRRYYYY!
Moony- Yeah you better be!
Padfoot- I'm sorry we can't all be as skinny and beautiful and smart and caring and amazing as you!
Moony-*blush* Uh…?
Prongs- What about me?
Padfoot- -_-? What about you?
Prongs- -_-
*hands Moony Iphone and BL books and 1 year supply of chocolates* use the Iphone well. *walks away*
Padfoot- Noooo! I want stuff!
Moony-*grins evilly* I now have the key to the future!*raises I Phone like a sword* I HAVE THE POOOWWWWEEEERRRR!
David: Well I do love Wes now I screwed up my chances I will never get him. *phone rings in pocket* *takes out phone and see girlfriend brakes up with him text* You got to be kidding me.
Ouch.*hands David a bad chick flick and a tub of ice-sympathy-cream*
Padfoot- You better go with Wes and apologize!
Question 167 comes from SetoXSara
NONONONONONONO! I AM NOT A HUFFLEPUFF! I AM EXTREMELY INSULTED BY THAT REMARK! I AM A SLYTHERCLAW! (Slytherin and Ravenclaw). I know what your thinking, how is this possible? How can I be in two Houses? Well, it goes like this *cue flashback*
Saskia Dowley!
Sorting Hat: Let's see... a brilliant mind, no doubt about that... perhaps Ravenclaw... but then again, your ambition to be someone is so very strong, so maybe Slytherin? Very tough, Very tough indeed...SLYTHERCLAW! *end flashback*
*everyone*- *wtf look* O_o?
So yeah. If you are wondering about Quidditch and House points, I am a Ravenclaw Chaser so I am in the Slytherin Common room, and my points are split so each House get equal points from me.
Padfoot-…Slytherclaw?
It's only until the Sorting Hat decides my full house.
Please be Hufflepuff! Please be Hufflepuff!
It will be Slytherin *leaves and comes back in 5 minutes with a robe lined with green* Yep Slytherin! Awesome! I'm also being transferred onto the Slytherin Quidditch team. I scored the most goal this season. Ravenclaw are winning, but Slyth'll get 'em back.
Prongs- OH YEAH BRING IT! GRIFFYNDOR PRIDE RIGHT HERE SON!
Anyway... ACCIO TAPE! TO THE POTTERS!
Prongs- Why are they going to my house?
Moony & Padfoot & Lizard & Nancy- Er…well…
Prongs- Wait up *Apparate*
Padfoot- Shit Prongs is gonna kill me!
*At the Potters* *moans are coming from the T.V* OMG -drooool- *Prongs walks in* Oh hi gi-AHHH! WTF! *backs away* Anyway, out sexy people! Prongs made us turn it off... bitch (speaking of bitch... Lauren, I am using this prank on you... heheheh) I'm killing Prongs.
Prongs- *comes back* PADDFOOOTTT!
Padfoot-*whimpers*
Prongs-OOHHH YOU ARE SOOO DEAD!
Wait!
WE ARE EXPERINCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES- HANG IN THERE-
30 MINUTES LATER
Prongs-Okay get me out!
No!
Padfoot- Yeah you're stuck there for a while mate.
Question 167 comes from Poemrider
Sirius, would you and remus ever shag IN ANIMAL FORM?
Moony- That's a bit personal no?
Padfoot- We already-*muffled*
Moony- Shut up Padfoot!
Prongs & Lizard & Nancy- EWWW!
Moony & Padfoot-*blush*
If that doesn't answer your question then…
Prongs- For reals TMI!
Question 168 comes from PhoenixRose92
HI! What's up! SIRIUS! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT HOGGING KISSES? *whacks padfoot over the head with a old, rolled up Daily Prophet* *sigh* And hey! Be careful with my book! *glares at Moony* *Anne reading over my shoulder* -Um, Pheonix maybe u should close ur eyes and count to ten before u kill Papa- *turns to Anne and smiles and says sickly sweet tone* Now, why on earth would i do that? I would never kill him, i might hex him from here to the moon, but never kill him. I'll be right back. *leaves, a bang and a crash are heard*
*everyone*- O.O?
^10 mintues later^ Okay, I'm ok now. Sorry, it's just special to me, sorry. Anyway... Here's some fudge me, Anne and Harry made! And you guys HAVE to share it! Or else!
Share! You fatties!
Prongs- Sirius's piece is bigger!
Padfoot- Is not!
Nancy- Remus is hogging!
Moony- -_- Am not!
Padfoot- Moony!
Moony- I'm not! She's lying!
Prongs- Well she is your daughter.
Padfoot & Nancy- -_-
And Remus, here's a damnit doll. You can do anything you want to it and it repairs itself. I gave one to Anne and she loves it. -That I do, that I do-
Moony-*pretends it's Sirius's head* RIPPPPP!
Padfoot- O.O!
*it repairs itself*
Padfoot- *sighs* Phew!
To MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword, while Lizard may be stressed, I'm more worried for Moony. He has to deal with Padfoot and Nancy.
Moony- THANK YOU!
That can't be good for him. Don't get me wrong, i love Padfoot and all, but sometimes i'd like smack a few times with a nice heavy book.
Padfoot- No thanks I get hit enough!
Nancy- It's true see he probably has brain damage.
Hugs and Kisses!
Love,
Pheonix *whips out wand* ACCIO TAPE! *flees*
Prongs- Stay out of my house!
Question 169 comes from
b-b-b-b-b-but. . . there be more. . . . right?¿
Padfoot- From?
I don't know it's blank!
Prongs- OHMYGOD! IT'S A GHOST!
Moony- -_- It's not a ghost.
Nancy- I think its CAN'TLOGIN look at the question marks…
Moony- Oh yeah! It is!
Prongs- So it's not a ghost?
Moony- No.
Prongs- Awww : (
Moony- Anyways what do you mean more of what?
Question 170 comes from James Potter
Moony- Really James really?
Prongs- It had to be done
*Prongs Rage* NO!Nonononononononono no noooo NO! There will be absolutely no The Tape showing at my house. If my parents walk in on some fanclub watching that kind of stuff they`ll worry for the future safety of me and Lily`s future son Elfendork.
Padfoot- Hey I called dibs!
I`ll do it for some pink grapefruit tictacs and a super strong locking charm on my door courtesy of LUPIN. (Hehehehehe. . . too big of a hint?)
Moony- Yes yes that is.
Question 171comes from RLD
OMG! *starts giggling, jumping around and screaming* I can really talk to you and u'll respond? *shrieks and faints*
Padfoot- That's right *winks* Oh wait she passed out
-2 HOURS LATER-
*Wakes up*
Wait till i tell my friends about this! They will go nuts! Ooooo, they will be SO jealous! HeeHee. *clears throat*
Prongs- Jealous of him?
Padfoot- Shut James! And why are you still here?
Prongs- -_-
Anyay, I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Moony- Aw thank you we love you too!
Padfoot- Yeah here you go *hands her a Wolfstar subscription*
Sirius, my gay friend always topped and refused to bottom until he lost this bet with his boyfriend. And he found out that it wasn't so bad, so now he's a switcher! So, please just try it? For me?*coughs* I mean Moony?
Padfoot-…
Moony-*werewolf eyes*
Padfoot- Fine!
Moony- YES!
Remus, do u get hornier near the full moon?
Moony- NOOOO! I mean…sometimes…
Prongs- Whoa!
Padfoot- Damn Moony!
Moony- :D
Have you read any of the fanfics about you guys?
Moony- Yes unfortunately…
Padfoot- It made me nosebleed
Nancy- It made me gag, I don't need to know what my dad na dmy uncle are doing =_=
I just love reading them!
Moony & Padfoot- -_-
If you could have children, what would guys name them?
Padfoot & Prongs- ELVENDORK!
Padfoot- -_-
Prongs- -_-
Padfoot- That's my name!
Prongs- No it's not!
Moony- I would name my kid Romulus
Oooh hah good one Rem!
Moony- ^_^
Lizard! What happened to the gifts you used to give? :( *sigh* Oh, well.
Uhhh….budget cuts? Well I could start right now…*hands you a stack of Boy's Love books*
Here you go!
*grabs Sirius and kisses him on the mouth, then grabs Remus and kisses on the mouth* WOW! THAT WAS BETTER THAN I THOUGHT! Well, gotta go! Much love! Bye! *flees gigging*
Moony & Padfoot- O_o
Moony-*blushes*
Padfoot- *gapes*
Prongs-*ROFL!*
Prongs get off the floor…
Nancy- Did that girl just?
Question 172 comes from kali yugah
HEEYYYYYY YOU GUYS! I'M BAAAAACCCCCKKKK!
Prongs- HEYYY GURLLL!
Moony- Hi ignore the idiots beside me
Looks sheepish as sirius hides behind remus.
It's i'm all better now, no more urges to shoot a bazooka. :)
Padfoot- Phew! Thank the Gods!
ok remus, sirius and author who is the better piarate Captain Jack Sparrow or Davey Jones?
Padfoot- Jack Sparrow!
Moony- Davy Jones
Prongs- Jack Sparrow
Nancy- Jack Sparrow!
Barbosa!
*everyone*- -_-?
What I like him okay!*hands you a ticket to Pirates of the Caribbean 4*
Last Question comes from A mysterious Death Eater
Padfoot- Wait where did Nancy go?
Huh?
Sirius, Remus, Lizard,
You have until three chapters from now to give me what I want, or you will lose something special to you.
Nancy: Daddy, Help!
Sirius, I've taken your daughter as hostage, do as I say or the next time you see her will be in a coffin!
Padfoot- Da FU-
Prongs- Oh shi—
Moony- Son of a b—
Stop cursing! And give him what he wants!
Padfoot- *hands chocolate*
Moony-*hands books*
Prongs-*hands a tape that he found*
*hands…anything?* Thank you for reviewing?
*The Three Marauders*- -_-
Sorry I know…