Chapter 21
Christian's POV
"You have no idea what you are asking me to do." I mumble while I tighten my grip on her hair.
"I know exactly what I am asking you to do, Sir. I can be what you need. Do with me what you please, Master." She bats her eyelashes up at me. This is so wrong.
I can't believe what she is doing. All those months of her denying me, NOW she wants to play the Submissive! This isn't me anymore. I don't need this shit. Then why is your cock hard as a rock, Hmmm. I have to resist.
"Ana, I have changed a lot in these last four months. This is not a part of my life anymore." God, I want to fuck her so bad. I put the belt down next to me but can't seem to take my hand off of it.
"Please, Sir. I'll be good. I promise. Tell me what you want. I'm yours." She looks down avoiding my gaze like a true submissive. I can't resist any longer. She's right, I need this.
"Ana, I will NOT belt my pregnant ex-girlfriend but if punishment is what you want then punish you I shall! Kneel facing the headboard, leg spread, hands holding the posts! Do it NOW!" I get off the bed and rummage through her drawers. She does as she is told immediately. She has disconnected completely. I expected a reaction when I called her my ex girlfriend, a small sigh, a sharp intake of breathe but nothing. Her eyes are dead. I know that look so well. I have used it myself many times. It is how I use to look at all my Submissives before I met Ana. I know I should stop this. I should get up and walk away but I'm being led by pure adrenaline now. I find enough that will work for what I have in mind.
"Spread those legs a little further. I am going to bind you to the bed and cover your eyes. You will be able to feel me and hear me but not see me. You will not speak to me! Not one word once we get started, understood?" She nods. I use her pantyhose to tie each of her hands and place her sleep mask over her eyes. "You are being punished because YOU and you alone think it is necessary. So there will be no safe words. You will take your punishment fully with no complaints. Lift your ass in the air, Anastasia." She complies without making a sound and I slide my head between her legs underneath her. I can see the glistening wetness on her. She is soaking. "Always sooo ready. This will be all because you want it. This is your last chance to back out, Anastasia. Just say the word right now and we will just make love and get lost in each other. You may speak one last time." I'm giving her every chance to back out of this.
"No Master, I am ready. I have other implements in the nightstand if the belt was not to your liking, Sir." Now I am mad. Why does she want to be beat so bad?
"Do. Not. Call. Me. THAT! My name is CHRISTIAN! I am not your fucking Dom. I am the man whose heart you fucking destroyed!" I snake my arms around her legs and pull her down onto my face.
For the next two hours I continue my assault. Nipping, licking, fucking, sucking, caressing ever part of her body only to bring her to the edge of insanity and stop before she can find her release. She never cries out, she never says stop. I never give her what she truly wanted. I do not pick up any implements, I do not even spank her with my hand. Now, I have tied her to the four posts of the bed face up. I take my time, licking and blowing on her all the way from her feet to her ear, swiping her hypersensitive clit with my tongue on the way.
"Is this what you like? Is this what you wanted? Domineering and unyielding, callous and unrelenting, a Dom torturing his Sub? This is not what you are to me. This is not what I want. I love you, Anastasia. Enough already. Just say the word and I will let you come." I whisper in her ear while positioning myself at her opening. She whimpers and a single tear runs from the corner of her eye but she will not give in and tell me to stop. I untie her arms and legs and she is shaking. Even if she won't give in I can't torture her anymore. The anger in gone from me.
"Get back in your original position, Anastasia, on your knees facing the headboard." I say sadly. She is slower this time but complies. I position myself behind her. "All I really want to do right now is make love to you and have you love me in return but you will find your release faster this way." I grunt and quickly push myself into her tight hot core. I feel nothing. I am getting no joy from this encounter. It feels more like a chore. What have we done? My once home, my safe haven buried in the woman I love now feels foreign to me. I pull back on her hair hard so she is almost sitting on me and pick up the pace. Snaking my hand around her waist I find her clit and give her that little bit of added pressure she needs to explode around me. Finally, she screams out, her body convulsing in the waves of her orgasm.
I am about to pull out of her when she sits back and basically pins me inside of her. "N-n-no, keeeppp going! Y-y-you haven't c-c-come y-yet!" She stammers and tries to pick herself up to give me some friction but her muscles won't obey her.
"No, Anastasia, I don't need to. This was all about you, remember? I am beyond disgusted with us and now I just want to go home." I push up on her back so I can free myself and make my way to the bathroom. I think for the first time in my life I am truly turned off by sex. I still love being buried in my Ana but that wasn't my Ana in there. I want her to touch me and look into my eyes when we find our releases. What just happened was worse than fucking a Sub because I couldn't turn off my emotions with her. All I saw was me fucking Ana like she was a Sub and that makes me sick.
Ana's POV
I can't believe he is walking away. I can't believe he didn't even come. What have I done? I can't let him leave. I hear the shower turn on. That's it! I'm going to find my man. I just hope I'm not too late. My legs feel like jelly. Hell, my whole body feels like jelly. Even though that orgasm was mind blowing, it somehow wasn't as good as the other orgasms I've had with Christian. Something was off.
I walk into the bathroom and see that he is still in the shower washing his hair. Luckily for me you can pretty much guarantee that the door would not be locked. Christian never locks the door if he is alone in the room, another sad after affect of his childhood. I walk over to the shower door and watch as the soapy water travels down his gorgeous body. He has started washing his manhood vigorously like he can't get rid of something stuck on it. He is so lost in his task that he doesn't even hear me until I open the shower door.
"Go away, Anastasia! I'll be out of here in a minute." He growls and turns his back to me. The water is scalding.
"No, I am not going anywhere. I need to explain. I need you…" I turn down the hot water and place my hands on his back. He jumps like a thousand volts of electricity have just passed through him.
"Why? Why do you keep doing this to me? I can't…I can't take this anymore!" He groans. He has not turned around to look at me but I can still tell he has started to cry. He is leaning up against the shower wall with one arm bent under his forehead and the other laying flat on the wall. His breathing has started to pick up like he is scared of what I'll say next.
"I needed to know….I love you so much but I needed to know for sure. For both of us." I sigh, wrap my arms around his waist and gently kiss his back again and again.
"Needed to know what? You must know I really love you by now. I tell you every chance I get and I've been chasing you for months, Damn IT! So please explain to me what the fuck you don't already know!" He still won't look at me. He is not going to like this. I need him to be looking at me when I tell him. He is very good at hiding his emotions but no matter what he does, even if it is only for a split second, he can't hide them from his eyes.
He is too strong for me to turn around especially since he doesn't want to but at least he hasn't left the shower yet. I squeeze myself in under his arm and between him and the wall. A very dangerous position depending on how mad he actually gets. I put my hands on his face, his eyes are closed tightly.
"Please open your eyes. I will tell you the truth but I need you to look at me." I say and softly lean up to kiss his wet lips. He does not kiss me back but when he opens his eyes I can see all the pain there. All the hurt and anguish is showing brightly through his bloodshot tear filled eyes. I take a deep breath and continue.
"I needed to know if you still needed that. I needed to see if the belting, caning, whipping and control were what you still truly desired." I sigh and see the pain in his eyes turn to confusion then pure anger.
"You were fucking TESTING me! For the love of all that is holy, Anastasia. Get the FUCK away from me before I do something else I will really regret!" He screams and pushes himself off the wall to get away from me but I keep hold of his face.
"Listen to me! I was not just testing you. I was testing me too. I needed to know that if that was truly what you needed that I would be sure that I would be able to give that to you! I think that I can now. I can be that for you." I cry and sink to my knees in front of him. The gesture was not sexual but more to plead for forgiveness. I can feel his hand shaking in my hair.
"If that is what I needed then I could have fallen in love with any one of my Submissives but I didn't. I fell in love with you because you are different." He kneels next to me on the shower floor.
"So you don't want any of it ever?" I ask and raise my eyebrow at him. Yeah, right and I have a nice bridge to sell you too.
"Well, maybe we can start to incorporate a little kink later on but do not ever call me Sir or Master again, Anastasia. It sounds wrong coming from your sweet lips. It disgusts me and gives the impression that you are beneath me which you are not. Right now I just need your love. I want so badly to know that you really love and want me too." He looks down at his fingers in his lap.
I do not have the words to relieve his fears so I lean up on my palms and give him a soft sensual kiss begging him with my eyes to see just how much I love him too. I crawl across the shower floor bringing him with me until he is sitting with his back up against the wall. I deepen the kiss and start to make my way down his neck to his shoulders. I take his firm cock in my hand and slowly start to stroke him. He in turn finds my soaking wet folds and slowly inserts two fingers into my core, massaging my g-spot with precision. Fuck, I am so turned on I could probably come from just this alone. I start kissing further down his chest but he stops my descent.
"No, Ana. Please make love to me. I want to see your eyes when you take me." He moans. He is still stroking my inner walls and moaning at my stroking of his cock. God, I think he is harder than I have ever felt him.
I do not verbally response to his plea. I move my lips back up to his and caress his tongue with my own. I remove his fingers from my core and straddle him. We both have our eyes closed and I am grinding myself up and down his hard shaft just to hear him moan some more. That sound is fucking amazing. "Open your eyes, Baby. I'm going to take you inside of me now. Do not take your eyes off mine." I whisper to him. He opens his eyes and I can see the love there in them but also the pain. As he stares into my eyes, I lower myself down onto his throbbing member all the way to the base. I stay there not pulling back up for a minute just relishing in the feel of having him so deep inside of me. I circle my hips and clench my insides around him but do not pull up yet.
"God Ana what are you doing? You're not even moving but that feels fucking terrific." He moans and goes to close his eyes but I fist my hands in his hair and pull back forcing him to keep them open.
"Eyes on me baby. I'm going to move now, Christian. I want to see my love in your eyes." I kiss him again and pick myself up a little. I am going torturously slow but I want this to last.
"More Ana, please!" He moans but remembers to keep looking at me. I pick up the pace only the slightest but start clenching myself around him on my up strokes effectively milking him from the inside. I can feel myself starting to tighten and his cock starts to tremble and I know we are both close to release. "Do you feel that, baby? Do you feel me hugging you from the inside? I love you, Christian. So much you could never know." I stare into those deep gray pools of liquid fire.
"Damn Ana, Yes I feel it. I don't know what you are doing but please don't fucking stop." He groans. He moves his hands from my ass and takes each of my erect nipples and starts rolling them. I know I can't hold on much longer.
"I'm not going to last much longer, Christian. Please come for me, Baby!" I turn his words from so many past times back on him. I put my forehead back on his.
Love filled blue eyes to soulful gray. We both erupt into our earth shattering orgasms moaning and holding on to each other for all we have. I think this is the most blissful fulfilling orgasm I have ever had.
"A-ana! Oh, God…." He whispers while exploding into me. "I know, baby….I know." I hug him even tighter to me. We stay in this position for what feels like forever just letting the raining down water wash away some of our past problems and anxieties.
A/N – First off let me apologize to all those who reviewed the last chapter and didn't get a response yet. I always respond to everyone that is logged in but life kind of threw me for a loop this week. I promise that I will go back and respond to everyone I can right now because I love the reviews and rely on them so much. The "testing" idea actually did come from you guys. I hope you all were happy with him not using the belt. It was never my intention for him to belt her and I don't think I could have written it that way if I wanted to. For all my "Closet Doms" out there don't be too worried. He might have been mushy in this chapter and he might want to bury him but "Dom" Christian is not completely gone yet.