"What was real went unnoticed..."
"Are we even improving at all?" I asked, exhausted, as I let my body collapse on the floor and relax .
"I'm sorry, Miku." Len, my duet for a new song Masataka-sensei composed, apologized.
You say you're sorry even though you have that huge grin on your face. Really now?
I thought to myself as I glanced over to him briefly before lifting the music sheet over me and scanned it once again. My part was easy since it was only the chorus and it isn't that hard at all. So if you are wondering why we keep on practicing even though I have my parts on point already, then it's because of Len. He just keeps on messing up every single time.
"I don't understand." I whispered to myself as I continued to scan the score.
"I am really sorry. I just can't keep my rhythm when I reach the middle part of the rap." He said as he, as well, looked over to his music sheet.
I only just looked at him, with pure disbelief, before I sighed and sat up once again.
"Well, it can't be helped. Let's try again."
"Okay!" He beamed with a very wide smile before he started to rap again.
"Would you like some refreshments?" I heard a voice say and I turned to look at it.
I saw Luka-nee with a tray of cookies and juice in her hands as she wore this same old, gentle and mother-like smile.
"You two have been at it since this morning. Why don't you two have a break first?" She asked.
"I guess so." I answered and smiled at her. She passed us the tray and gave us cookies.
Len excitedly grabbed a cookie as he ate it quite happily. I only watched him as he went over his score sheet again, probably figuring out his mistakes.
He must've noticed me watching him that he suddenly turned to me. I immediately turned the other way, desperately avoiding eye contact with him. I do not want to fall into the same trap again.
"Hey Miku. Can you help me with this rhythm?" He asked.
I turned back to him only to find our faces only a few inches apart. I unconsciously blushed and fell back as his sudden action surprised me.
I choked on the cookie I ate and pounded my chest. Alarmed, Len grabbed a glass of juice and passed it to me. I downed it into my throat and coughed up a few times before I glared at him.
"What was that for?!" I accused.
"What? I was only asking you to help me. You choked on your food on your own." He played innocent with that annoying smirk on his face.
I snatched the sheet from his hands and looked into the part he asked help. I read it twice- even thrice- and noticed that it was a part he mastered already.
"Didn't you master this part already?" I asked, starting to get suspicious of his actions. He'd been at it since we started practicing. If he did not miss a note, he'd mess up in his rhythms.
"I do not." He said, his tone changing a bit and avoiding my eyes. It was through those little actions that I know he was lying.
"Look. If you're not gonna be serious about practicing this song, I'm just gonna go and tell Masataka-sensei that I'm quiting." I told him before I returned him his copy.
"Bu-but.. What about your comeback album, Miku?"
"I'll do something about it." I sighed and was about to stand up when he suddenly caught my wrists.
I looked over to where he was holding me before I turned to look at him in the eyes while keeping up my front desperately.
"I.. I get it. I'll do my best. I'm sorry." He whispered his apology and hung his head.
I yanked my wrist from his hold and sat back down without a word. He only looked at me- a bit hurt- and finally turned to his score as he practiced his parts again.
I admit that was quite mean of me. I did not mean for him to wear that expression, I was just nervous he'd feel my pulse racing since he was touching me and looking at my eyes every chance he gets.
Ever since we started practicing together, I could feel his eyes on me and that was bothering me a bit. I didn't like him staring at me.
Cause if he'd keep at it, he might notice me blushing every time I notice him staring at me and that's not really good.
"Can you start from this part?" He pointed when he sat next to me and pointed at the part in my paper.
I did not notice myself getting lost in a daze if not for his scent, presence and voice. I stiffened before I scanned the part and nodded silently.
"O-okay. Can you start now?" He asked.
I tore through all of the betrayal
Your hand was too warm even now
Entangling in the back, the back of my heart
I beg you forgive him
Intermingling sweat and breath
Answering from the beginning, at Zero and One
What was real went unnoticed and I lost complete control of myself
He suddenly paused and turned to me. I was 'supervising' his rap so our eyes kind of met for a few seconds. In those short seconds, I could feel as though he was trying to send a message. It felt as though he was trying to say something.
A faded cry like a melody line
I harbor a transient dream
It's the moon I see far, far away in the sky
At night, the fairytale petals accumulate
He continued in a slow rap, as if feeling and taking in every words of the song, and ended in a soft whisper. I couldn't take my eyes off of him as his singing sounded incredibly sorrowful.
Silence enveloped the both of us as we stayed still like that; him hanging down his head and turning the other way and me staring at his figure that almost seemed as though he was regretting things.
I snapped out of it minutes later and cleared my throat. I rustled about in a restless manner as I gathered my score and tidied my things. It was getting dangerous.
"Umm.. S-So.. Y-You'll be fine on the actual recording then. It seems you got your parts down already. I.. I'll go ahead then." I rushed and stood up, dashing away from that room.
Miku! Get yourself together! That cannot be allowed anymore!
I scolded myself as I felt tears pool at the corners of my eyes and my chest tightening. I collapsed on the floor as soon as I was back to my new room and let the tears flow freely while stifling a sob.
You cannot let yourself be trapped again! Do not let yourself be hurt a second time by the same person!
I curled up in a ball as I cried. After all those years, seeing Len still hurt. Everything about him hurt but it was lovely at the same time. I missed him so much, his touch, voice, kisses, hugs, his being that used to belong to me and only me. I especially missed his heart.
Goddesses.. please help me.
Hello~ I am back. I hope you liked it. Thank you for always reading this. Please leave reviews~ Thanks.
xoxo,
Halloween Godspell