Okay, I'm going to post three chapters tonight, because I got three new ideas that I know for a fact, if I wait around, I'll think up some random excuse to not post them. So, let this officially start the three-chapter update night! Yay MP3 players!!!!!!! This takes place in OotP during a random Occlumency lesson that JK didn't put in the book…I know it's there, though…

Chapter 21

You're A Pink Toothbrush; I'm A Blue Toothbrush

After having his mind invaded for the 13th time that night, Harry was pretty damn fed up with the Potions Master.

"You have to focus, Potter!" Snape half yelled.

"I'm trying!" Harry retorted, "But it's kind of hard with you bursting in like that!" Snape had just caught a memory of Harry masturbating in the shower.

"Do you think I like seeing those disturbing memories?" Snape countered.

Despite Snape's pretended revulsion, Harry distinctly saw a bulge appear in the pants of Snape's robes.

"Maybe," Harry said truthfully, which earned him another round of mind invasion.

This time, the memory was of a day at Harry's Muggle elementary school. The teacher was a half hour late, and everyone in the class was yelling and screaming; they were in Grade 3, after all.

The teacher walked in and rang the bell on his desk. "Alright, alright, alright, children, alright, Teacher's here. Now, lessons. What should we have today? Arithmetic?"

As one, the class yelled "No!"

"English?" suggested the teacher.

"No!" the class yelled.

"Thank goodness for that," muttered the teacher. "What would you like?"

'Tell us a story!" the class yelled.

"Tell you a story? I think that'd be a good idea…"

"Sir!"

"Yes. Now then, once upon a time there was a toothbrush, who lived all alone in a great big bathroom. Alone, that is, except for a tube of toothpaste. The tube of toothpaste was very amorous. Sometimes, it would turn its nozzle towards the toothbrush and sing, 'Squeeze me, squeeze me, never let me go!' But the blue toothbrush didn't care for the toothpaste. Then one morning, what do you think happened? There was another toothbrush in the rack. A pink toothbrush. The blue toothbrush turned toward the pink toothbrush, and said;

'You're a pink toothbrush, I'm a blue toothbrush
Have we met somewhere before?
You're a pink toothbrush and I think toothbrush
That we met by the bathroom door.

Glad to meet toothbrush, such a sweet toothbrush
How you thrill me through and through
Dont be hard toothbrush on a soft toothbrush
'Cause I cant help loving you.

Every time I hear you whistle... it makes my nylon bristle...

You're a pink toothbrush, I'm a blue toothbrush
Won't you marry me in haste?
I'll be true toothbrush, just to you toothbrush
When we both use the same toothpaste.'

"Alright, children, I want to see if you've been listening. Now, when I say 'two', join in on the chorus. Ready? One, three."

The whole class replied, almost mechanically, by singing. Harry looked over and saw, to his amazement, Snape singing along too.

"You're a pink toothbrush, I'm a blue toothbrush
Have we met somewhere before?
You're a pink toothbrush and I think toothbrush
That we met by the bathroom door.

Glad to meet toothbrush, such a sweet toothbrush
How you thrill me through and through
Dont be hard toothbrush on a soft toothbrush
'Cause I cant help loving you."

The class stopped singing, and the teacher continued.

"Every time I hear you whistle... it makes my nylon bristle..."

Then, the class sang with the teacher, and Dumbledore came to invade the memory. He, like Snape, started singing along.

"You're a pink toothbrush, I'm a blue toothbrush
Won't you marry me in haste?
I'll be true toothbrush, just to you toothbrush
When we both use the same toothpaste."

Everyone stopped, and the teacher said to the class, "That was very good, you can all take the day off!"

The class cheered, and the memory ended.

"That was…interesting," Snape said, in a brave attempt to make Harry believe that he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary during the memory.

"Yes, it gets more interesting each time I see it!" agreed Dumbledore.

"Have you been sneaking inside my head when I'm least expecting it?!" Harry asked, outraged.

"No! Yes! Maybe! I don't know!" Dumbledore's answer just confused Harry even more.

"I'm outta here," he shouted, slamming the door behind him. He knew that this was one of those rare things he'd never tell Ron or Hermione. Little did he know that they, too, had been delving into Harry's mind while he was asleep…

End

There you have it! I'll try to post the second one tonight as well, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it in time. Review!