Kyoya pushed through the hospital doors. He couldn't stand it in there any longer. No one, no one understood. He let himself fall on the hard wall. Why hadn't she told them? He knew, he knew in his soul he could've saved her. And somehow, he couldn't stop blaming himself. Somehow, it was his fault.
He stood and took in the cold crisp air, sharpened by the smell of rain. He felt so alive, yet so dead inside.
Unbeknownst to him, he stood there for quite some time. Even when the rain soaked him through, he couldn't bring himself to walk through those doors. Back to the doctors, to the white, to the sharp smell of alcohol. He stood, stalk still, as if a sullen statue.
They... they said she wouldn't live.
He felt like he couldn't breathe. Looking back, he had never appreciated her presence enough, he hadn't loved her enough. He hadn't been good enough.
She was the only person he had ever let, truly, into his soul. Tamaki had come close, but she had pushed deeper. Until she was so deep within him, that it felt like there was a piece of his soul inside, on the operating table. They said there was no hope. Somehow he wished he could turn back time, and spend those precious hours with her again. And be better.
A hand touched his sodden shoulder, trying to pull him away. He turned. His father stood there, holding an umbrella to keep away the rain.
A practiced hand reached up to straighten his glasses. As it returned to it's place by his side, it caught a drop of water that fell from his chin.
He wondered if it was rain, or a tear. But he couldn't tell the difference anymore. Everything had blurred.
"Come now son," the harsh voice sullied the sound of the raindrops hitting the ground "This is no time for dawdling, you have studying to do"
"Of course, father," The words felt like a betrayal and left a bad taste in his mouth. His father didn't understand that he was being torn apart. His father didn't understand. He understood nothing of his son.
The masks the rain had washed away returned and he was again, Kyoya Ootori, a businessman's son. Not who he really was. Only she had ever delved that far.
He let himself be pulled away, the pain inside him burning. But even if the worst were to happen, he'd wait for her, he'd wait a thousand years to be with her again.
Yes, he would wait.