Bunnies For Your Amusement (Hetalia)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: A bunch of cute and/or serious story ideas featuring my favorite Hetalia bros – America and Canada! May or may not be pairings depending on story. I guarantee all of these are, if not unique ideas, unique takes on ideas, so come check them out!

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.

Warning: Random Shit, Bros Being Bros, potential AmeCan, magic-or-what-I-don't-even-know

Bunny: Fortress North America

~Fortress North America was just a series of plans for if the Cold War started turning in favor of Russia and communism. NORAD was just a way of making coordination between their respective militaries easier on the both of them.

They weren't supposed to make the two Nations fuse together into one seriously whacky super-nation when they got frightened. Between the trial of getting them separated again to the after-effects of the temporary union, it's a wonder they haven't managed to cause an international incident yet...

((Another LJ prompt, and again another probably pairing fic. The original asks for crack, so I'd try my best to provide that.

hetalia-kink . livejournal . com (slash) 20026 . html?thread=71817786#t71817786

I am so, so so so so sorry for dropping off the face of the Earth, but I hit the nastiest case of writer's block imaginable, plus I just started college, so I'm just now slowly getting back into the swing of things.

In return, I'll let you know that I got into the Creative Writing class, and the homework is to write a short story between six and twenty pages, so I'm writing a human!au with Al as a werewolf and Ivan and Arthur and vampires. I will post it when I finish it, so you have that to look forward to.))

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

The most important thing to note was that it wasn't the fault of any one thing in particular – it was merely a series of unfortunate events that, when put together, led to the current situation.

The first thing to start the chain reaction was America's pre-election jitters. It always happened in the last couple of months before his elections, and at this point everyone knew he tended to be higher-strung than usual depending on how divided the parties were that particular time around.

The second thing in the string of events was Canada's stress over whether to help bail out Europe or not. Sure, he owed quite a bit to England and France and the others, but did he really want to pour money into Europe when his own economy was just starting to get back on track?

The third thing to note was that, in order to temporarily escape the stress on both of them, the two had decided to get together for the weekend and do mindless fun things together. They stayed up all night playing various video games, which in retrospect probably wasn't the best idea when they were already mildly sleep-deprived.

The fourth thing was that neither remembered that Russia was coming by America's place that particular weekend to discuss their next joint military exercise. If it had been anyone else, things probably would have been fine, but there was still a part of the southern Nation's mind that remembered the paranoia that had been tied to said Nation while he was a superpower.

The fifth thing in this series was that Russia, finding the two asleep on the couch together, decided it would be amusing to wake the two up by whispering in Russian in the creepiest voice he could mutter, "I think it is time to wake up, da?"

The sixth thing, while not directly part of the series, was the main reason that the rest of these things led to anything other than two startled young Nations falling off the couch while the older Nation laughed.

That thing was a series of old plans tucked away in some forgotten cabinet which detailed plans to protect the two Nations in case the worst happened and they were forced to isolate themselves from the world. These plans had in fact been half-completed, leading to the creation of many joint American-Canadian programs such as NORAD and the radar lines all throughout the Canadian Arctic.

These plans were all labeled under the simple blanket term of 'Fortress North America'.

So instead of two tired teenagers, there was one wide-awake, very angry, and very attractive man pointing a gun directly into a shocked Russia's face, glaring hatefully and face stony. "What are you doing in my house, you Communist bastard?"

Before the northern Nation could respond, the man tilted his head slightly, as if listening to something. "What do you mean he's not- he's the whole reason we- how long? Hold on..." The man frowned lightly, eyes flickering in the way of one remembering something. The gun slowly lowered as the serious facade broke, leave a very apologetic young man and a very confused Nation. "Sorry... I didn't realize the Cold War was over..."

Russia asked the first question that came to mind. "Who are you?"

A blink. "We're Fortress North America. We though you'd recognize us, considering you probably knew about the plans."

The European Nation nodded slowly. "Da, I did, but I did not think there was a person to go with them..."

A shrug as the gun was tucked back into it's holster, next to several others, Russia noted. The other thing he noted was the fact that this... Fortress was not in either twin's outfit, but instead in a form-fitting military outfit he hadn't seen in decades. Their glasses also seemed to have disappeared, although this man did have both of their haircurls.

"So, what brings you here, Russia?" The super-nation asked, more relaxed now that he wasn't seeing the other Nation as a threat anymore.

"...I was going to discuss military exercises with Amerika-" He stopped for a second when the other frowned again. "-friendly exercises, just to keep in shape!"

FNA hummed noncommittally, giving Russia another disconcerting stare, before the man stood up, stretching himself out and showing that he was the same height as the other Nation. "We need to to talk to our bosses anyway, so we'll put that off for later. Do you want brunch?"

The change in accent startled him, but he said nothing, just quietly nodding in acceptance. He let loose a shaky sigh once the super-nation left the room, having now experienced something akin to what those under him in the Soviet Union must have felt around him – extreme caution in the face of someone much, much stronger than you.

~0~0~

It was one of those days. As if the upcoming elections weren't enough, America had gone and done something that wasn't supposed to be possible, again. It was rather distressing how even among the strange and mysterious beings known as Nations, his own had a distressingly high rate of weird events.

Would anyone willing take this job, The President thought more than once during his time in office, if they knew what they were signing up for?

Of course, when America wasn't being strange, he was rather nice to have around. Between the Nation's extensive hands-on knowledge of the workings of the government and his friendly demeanor, he made otherwise frustrating tasks at least somewhat tolerable. Most of the time it even made up for those occasional incidents that made him want to hide in bed and not come out until the new president was sworn in.

This, however, took the cake for strange.

"You two somehow managed to... fuse into one nation?" He asked, trying to somehow confirm the crazy story from the man standing on the other side of the desk from him. He received a shrug in return.

"It's not like we knew it could happen, sir – we're just as surprised as you are." He grimaced. "You can't even begin to believe how weird it is to share a body. There are things we never wanted to know about each other that we now have to live with for however long we're like this."

The president turned to the other Nation in the room, hoping that this was all just a very bad joke on America's part. Russia just shook his head. "I saw it happen myself – there were two of them, then they vanished and he appeared when I woke them."

So much for that hope. He sighed. "Does Harper know about this yet?"

FNA shook his head. "No sir, we were going to go talk to him after this. After that, who knows?"

~0~0~

Whispers and rumors abounded among the Nations. Russia was keeping quiet, not even telling his siblings why America and Canada had seemingly dropped off the map and weren't returning calls or texts. England had even dropped by America's house, only to be chased off by an irate alien.

Now the next world meeting had rolled around, this time to be hosted in Ottawa, and everyone was pretending they weren't waiting for the twin Nations to show up. However, when it reached fifteen minute til without a sign of either of them, many of them were getting nervous. More than one person glanced around for Russia, but for some reason he was absent from the room.

There were voices down the hall, neither of them recognizable at first. As they approached the meeting room, one of them was identified as Russia's, but it sounded... off. The explanation as to why was made apparent as the door opened, and a stranger stepped in, Russia trailing behind – nervously? The rest of the world was in shock at seeing the usually confident man so... submissive.

Many of the older Nations who remembered the Roman Empire started understanding why as the stranger's gaze passed over them – it was the look of someone who knew they were stronger than anyone else around and knew that the world knew that. The man took the podium as Russia sat down next to his sister, who immediately started fussing over him.

"We... apologize for the wait, but we had pressing matters to deal with this morning before the meeting."

"Who are you?" China asked, noting the nervous glances between several of the Europeans.

The man gave him a look, before his brows furrowed lightly. "That was the first order of business today." He stood up straight, only enhancing the eerie likeness to Rome. "We are Fortress North America, the former Nations of Canada and America. The two countries are still separate, but until further notice their representations are... unavailable."

You could hear a pin drop in the silence that followed that statement.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

AN: First off, Fortress NA looks something like this (only with a military outfit instead of the costume):

dieingcity . deviantart . com (slash) art/Losers-Bench-13-201672139

So... yeah, older and drop-dead gorgeous. And has both the cowlick and the haircurl. And is, of course, paranoid as fuck (because the original concept was a sort of permanent isolation in case the rest of the world was overrun by fascism or Communism. It fell by the wayside after the Cold War ended, but was temporarily revived after the Sept. 11 attacks due to high tensions).

The reason it didn't happen during said attacks was because they were far away from each other. The reason it didn't happen during the Cold War was because there was no sudden shock to cause the jump. Plus it adds to the humor because they have no precedent for this so they don't know how to separate them.

Things that would be required include them going to at least one World Meeting like that, just casually being the most frightening person in the room when China shows up. And getting into a glare-off with him. Yes~ (and those other things in the prompt probably).

Other bunnies will probably be up over the next few weeks as I get back into the swing of things...