Chapter 21
AN: What will happen now? Will Jack admit to the self-harm and drinking? Is that stuff still going on or did he quit some time ago? CW: abuse, molestation, alcohol, self-injury
"Hey Jack, we haven't had a real conversation in a while…do you want to talk about anything?" Hotch asked.
"Do you ever wish I could be straight?" Jack asked.
"If I'm being honest, yeah it'd make things easier for me…but that doesn't mean I don't love you the way you are" Aaron explained to his son.
"Do you think I should come out at school?" Jack asked.
"I'm not really sure, if it makes you feel better to be open, then I really can't judge" Hotch concluded.
"That's the thing…I'm not fully open about who I am, at least not with you" Jack admitted.
"We all have certain things that we prefer to keep to ourselves, just be careful and don't hide anything major," Hotch said.
"That's the thing…I am hiding some major things from you, dad… and I have been for a while now" Jack admitted.
"Do you mind telling me some of these things now, Jack?" Aaron asked, beginning to get concerned.
"I've been drunk before…not on a regular basis…but basically every time I've gone to a party with a group of friends or over to a teammates house" Jack confessed.
"Jack, you go to a lot of parties and overnights…this still means you're getting drunk a few times a week some weeks" Hotch explained.
"I know dad, I'm sorry for disappointing you" Jack replied, apologetically.
"I'm just really worried about what I'm hearing" Hotch replied.
"If that's the case, then you won't like the rest of this conversation," Jack told his dad.
"That may be true, but I'm listening anyway" Hotch reassured him.
"Remember that time you took me to the hospital when I took too many of my pain pills?" Jack inquired.
"Yes, of course, I was so worried I might lose you," his dad told him.
, "That was the plan when I took them, I'm sorry" Jack admitted.
"I always thought it was just an accident, why didn't you tell me you were having those feelings?" Hotch asked.
"At the time, I didn't think that you would care about how I felt…I thought you'd be okay, maybe even better off without me" Jack explained.
"Jack, I'd never been better off without you…I don't even know what I'd do if I lost you" Aaron Hotchner admitted.
"Sorry dad" Jack cried.
"Are you okay right now?" his dad asked him.
"Not exactly" Jack admitted, lifting his pants leg to reveal the burns and cuts he had inflicted upon himself.
"Who did this to you?" Hotch asked.
"I did them all to myself" Jack confessed.
"You could've told me how you felt sooner" Hotch replied.
"I wasn't sure if I could…I wasn't sure how to talk to you about what I was feeling" Jack admitted.
"Does anybody else know?" Hotch asked.
"Duncan Pierce from the cross-country team, he showed me his when we hooked up at Mrs. Haven's New Year's party freshman year" Jack admitted.
"Wasn't he a couple years older?" Hotch asked.
"Yeah, he's eighteen now…he dropped out of school last year" Jack explained.
"Did he pressure you to do anything/?" his dad asked him.
"No, I was the one who asked him…and just in case you were wondering, we didn't have sex…we just made out" Jack informed his father.
"If you don't mind, I'd like you to get involved in some programs to help you get control over your self-destructive behaviors" Hotch informed his son.
"Yeah sure dad, I'll do anything you need me to do" Jack replied.
"One last thing, I still love you no matter what you do or say" Hotch replied, giving his son a hug.