Disclaimer: Based on real events, but some things are made up to help the story. Slight AU. Goes in a different direction.
Chapter 21 - February 18th, 2017
"The feelings got lost in my lungs. They're burning, I'd rather be numb, and there's no one else to blame. So scared I take off, and I run. I'm flying too close to the sun—and I burst into flames." - Excerpt from Heart Attack, Demi Lovato
"Nick?"
"Yes, angel?"
Miley blushed, which sort of made her look prettier—not that she needed any help in the category. "Why do you call me angel?"
Nick smiled as he warmed up for his story. They were currently lounging in her house—since he, quite frankly, was sick of the paparazzi surrounding his house. It was aggravating not to mention quite disturbing. He hadn't got an ounce of sleep last night and had gave up at midnight. He had given Miley a quick call, and she had 'rescued' him from the swarming paparazzi with her bike—her Can-Am Spyder three-wheeler bike. That was one sweet ride.
"Well?" Miley prompted.
"Ah, it is but a long and timeless tale from the days I was in a grave accident, wondering if each breath would be my last," Nick started dramatically.
Miley laughed and pushed him playfully. "Come on, old man. Let's get moving! This story is just going to take"—Miley glanced at her watch—"oh! Just another century!"
Nick stuck his tongue out at her. "Fine, boss." He saluted her, and Miley shook her head in exasperation—but Nick didn't miss the smile on her face. Nick took a deep breath and locked eyes with her. Her blue eyes were eager, bright, and relaxed. The faint pre-dawn light had teased some silver and gray into her eyes. It was a rather delicate touch to her natural features. "It's rather simple, actually," he explained.
She rolled her eyes. "So much for the whole melodramatic crap."
Nick cleared his throat importantly. "Ahem. Anyhow, where was I, anyway? Oh yes." She scoffed at him, and Nick smiled. "I called you angel because I had a dream," he murmured softly, and Miley caught his gaze seriously. He thought he knew what she was thinking of. "I saw an angel in my dream..." Miley's breath got caught. "That angel was you."
"Like..." Miley's gaze locked fiercely on his. "Like the time I had a dream of you... of you saving me?"
Nick nodded softly. "You were—are—my angel."
"What did I do? In the dream, I mean."
A soft smile tugged at Nick's lips. "You didn't do anything." Miley quirked a brow, and Nick grinned. "I'm serious, Mi. You didn't talk or anything. You just watched me..." Nick turned serious and thoughtful. "I never felt so safe and protected when you were there... and you would disappear at random times." Nick paused to gather his thoughts. "But once, when I asked you to stay, you stayed..."
Miley gasped a little. "D-did y-y-you say 'I need you'?" she inquired in a shaky voice.
Nick frowned. "How do you know?" Then, realization dawned to him. "Did I say it aloud?"
Miley nodded and blushed a little. "I... So you were saying it to your angel?"
"To you," he corrected. "But yes. My angel, all the same."
Nick watched Miley avert her gaze to the ground. He leaned closer to her, and she stared at him for less than a heartbeat before moving back slightly. He frowned and reached forward and snaked his fingers through hers—like he always did in an attempt to comfort her. Usually, she would smile, relieved, back at him, but this time, she frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked her, startled by the sudden change in mood.
She smiled, but Nick could tell it was forced. "Nothing." She scoffed. "What's with all the questions? This isn't an interrogation." Her tone was defensive.
He raised an eyebrow. "I asked you one question."
Miley laughed, and it was the fakest laugh Nick had ever heard from her. "Nick, has it not dawned to you that I might be a little exasperated because it's three in the morning, and I haven't gotten my sleep yet?" Her tone had to be fake, but Nick frowned. It was true that once they had escaped to her place, they hadn't gone to sleep. Maybe Nick wasn't being considerate...
"I'm sorry," he rushed to get out. "You're right. We should go to sleep."
"I was joking, silly," Miley murmured, touching his arm lightly.
Nick sighed. He wondered if she even remembered what she had told him yesterday. He remembered how clear and troubled her gaze was as she breathed the soft words: "I'm scared of falling for you." She probably didn't. She sure acted like she hadn't said anything about it, and because Nick just loved to make himself suffer, he hadn't bothered to ask her.
But he knew it was slowly killing him inside.
Was it possible that Miley just didn't care? He knew that she cared about him—why else the extreme relief over his 'fainting spell'—but what if she didn't care about them?
Nick turned away, and thoughts flashed through his mind. She was so close, and he felt like he was going to lose his mind. He wanted to tell her everything that was raging on his mind. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. He wanted to hear her tell him the same. He was going to explode if he didn't do something. He couldn't stay in the room. He felt like he was going to suffocate.
He knew he shouldn't, but he was angry. Angry that Miley would toy with his feelings like this—even if she didn't mean to, not intentionally. Was it even remotely possible that she just wanted to keep him around as a sort of... challenge? Not to Liam, but to prove to Liam that she was completely and utterly devoted to him? Was she just playing Nick?
Nick couldn't stay in the room. He couldn't. Not with her.
And he knew one of them was going to get seriously hurt—maybe both. He knew the feeling—and absolutely loathed it.
It was the feeling of the beginning of a fight.
"Nick?" came Miley's worried voice. "I'm sorry." For what? he thought bitterly.
Everything could've been perfect, but everything could just as easily fall apart. That's just how they rolled. They would fight for nothing, and that would be the end of them.
And before Nick realized what he was doing, he was running straight out of the room and out the door.
Still In Love Somehow
"Nick!"
Miley stared after Nick and got to her feet, stumbling as she ran.
Nick fumbled with the door, but he managed to get it open. Miley reached him and grabbed him arm, wondering what on earth was wrong. What had she done? Was he mad because she had joked about sleep? It was possible. Nick could be unpredictable sometimes. "Nick!" Miley yelled after him, and she watched Nick stumble as he raced out the door. Miley ran after him—
—and then she realized that it was raining.
Nick stood in the rain, and his wet curls were plastered to his forehead. He watched her for a brief moment as she ran over to him. She nearly tripped over her own feet, but Nick dashed forward, steadying her. "Easy, there," he murmured with a distant look in his eyes. This wasn't her Nick. She felt like a stranger had replaced her best friend. She had never seen Nick look so... empty.
Actually, she'd never seen that look on him. This was new—and scary.
She gripped his shoulders. "Nick, come back inside. It's raining," she urged.
"Yes, it's raining," Nick said, monotone.
"This isn't you," Miley rasped. "Nick, stop running away! You're always running away! Even when we were dating..." Miley choked on those last few words, but she powered on anyway despite the burning look in his eyes. "You always ditched when the going got tough and came back when it was easier—and you don't even seem to understand how much that hurt me? Do you know how it feels to have your heart right out in front of you and having it toyed with?"
"I was never playing with you!" Nick yelled, a scowl working on his jaw. "We were young, and we were idiots."
Miley reeled back. "Is that your way of saying you regret it? All of it?"
"God, Miley," Nick growled. "Dammit," he swore, his gaze all worked up. "I messed up. You know I did, and I know I did—and you know me more than anyone else in the entire world! You know how hard it is for me to admit that I'm wrong! Well, I was wrong! I made a mistake when I ditched you, and I used Selena and got her caught up in this mess!"
Why the hell was he bringing up Selena?
"We're not talking about Selena," Miley hissed. "We're talking about you and how you're always running away!"
"So I'm a coward now."
"Yeah, you're a coward," Miley muttered through seethed teeth. "But I guess this is all my fault, right? I can't believe I even wanted you back into my life, you jerk! So guess what? 'Wrecking Ball' wasn't just about Liam. It was also about you." Rain poured down harder on them, drumming along with the beating of Miley's heart. She barely felt the cold from the rain. Fury had evaded her insides, forcing out the cold.
"Well, everything else in my life was you!" Nick shouted. "You, you, you, all over again. Selena, my brothers, my music, hell even the food I ate—everything related to you! I was so in love, and I just couldn't let go. Delta, Olivia, all of them! Miley, I lied to you. I lied to you when I said I didn't care. All those songs I wrote... all of them... Did you even listen to them?"
"Your music?!" Miley was shouting now. "Of course I did!"
"I don't even know why I came here!" Nick yelled.
"Nick," Miley all but yelled, "what do you want? What do you want from me?"
His dead expression burned for a brief heartbeat. Then, he leaned closer to her, his gaze locked directly onto hers and allowing her no escape. "What do I want from you? It was you who sought me out, right?" His voice was sarcastic, and Miley shook him, as if she was trying to shake some sense into him. "I wanted you to fight for me! God, I would've fought for you, Miley! Watching you date Liam sucked, but at least I knew how someone felt for once in my life."
That last bit hurt more than the entire conversation put together, and it hurt Miley so much more that she knew how much they had hurt each other—without even realizing half the time.
"What're we, Miley?" Nick's voice was ragged. "I'm not going to be your friend to get in the way of your engagement, but I'm not going to leave if you want me..."
What? What was he talking about?
"Don't leave," Miley pleaded. "We'll talk. We'll work this out."
"No, we won't," Nick said firmly. "You know as well as I do that that is impossible." He backed away. "Well, I'm sorry for hurting you so badly."
How had things gotten so messed up? They were fine less than ten minutes ago. How had things escalated so far?
"Nick, wait!"
Nick sighed a little. "Miley... Miley, Miley, Miley. Do you know how hard it is for me to say no to you?"
Miley walked up to him. "Then don't say no."
"It's not that easy..."
Miley crossed her arms. "What's not easy about this?"
"Everything..." Nick scowled. "I don't want to fight with you, Miley, but if I stay, we're going to end up saying some things we'll really regret later—you know that more than I do." He scratched the back of his neck and brushed some wet curls out of his face. "Miley, just stop, okay? This was never going to work out like the way you planned. Just let me go." Even when they had fought, Miley had never seen such a defeated look in his eyes.
She gripped his shoulders tightly. "We've never needed anything else but each other to work things out, Nick. Everyone else didn't think so, but—"
"Maybe everyone else was right," Nick said tightly.
Miley's hands fell from his shoulders. He couldn't have seriously said that. Things seriously couldn't have been that messed up. She had always known that Nick was unhappy with the whole engagement and everything, but he couldn't have been seriously giving up. "This isn't you," she said, shaking her head. "You will run away, and you will hide, but you don't just give up. You're Nick Jonas," she snapped.
"And you're Miley Cyrus," he retorted. "Miley, I tried. I really did. And then some..."
Her eyes pierced into his. "You're mad at me." Again. Just like all those years ago.
"No, I'm mad at myself," Nick said furiously. "Look, Miley, I just need some time to—cool off."
"It's raining," Miley said timidly. "It's too cold for you not to be cool."
He fell silent but fixed with a look that blatantly demanded why she would joke about this. But the answer was so simple. It was because Miley was afraid. She didn't want to lose Nick, but she didn't know what to do. Something flickered in his gaze, and then, he sagged. The fight left him, and now, all he looked was tired. She was tired, too. It was dark out, and it was only around three or so.
"Nick..." She hoped her voice conveyed that she didn't want to fight with him.
He frowned. "What're we fighting about again?"
Miley smiled gingerly. "I don't know anymore. I just... I'm sorry. Are we good? Until..." She trailed off awkwardly.
He nodded, smiling. "I'm sorry," he apologized, seeming more like her Nick. "I just... you make me feel... I don't know. Alive, I guess. But I felt like I was going to explode because..." He trailed off and sighed. "There are so many things I want to say to you, but... I just don't know how." He looked up, and she nodded. Then, she leaned forward and embraced him.
The fight scared her—because it was just like before, where they would lash out when it really wasn't deserved—but at least it was over.
They headed back inside, completely soaked to the bone. He draped his arm around her, providing her with an ounce of heat. They entered the house, and Miley's eyes widened as she saw Liam standing there, his gaze frantic. Then, his eyes traveled to her—then, to her shoulders, where Nick's arm rested. "Liam," Miley started, and his gaze darkened.
"I woke up, you weren't there," Liam said, scowling. "What's he doing here?"
"I was, um, saving him from the paparazzi," Miley said weakly. "And it's raining, so..."
"It's not even four yet, Miley," Liam said, furious.
"Go back to sleep, Liam," Miley snapped, and something worked in Liam's jaw. Miley sighed gently nudged Nick's arm off her shoulders. She stepped towards Liam, and to her relief, he didn't leave. She closed her fingers around his arm. "We'll talk later, but... please not right now. It's raining, and I didn't get much sleep, and I just had a horrible fight with Nick..."
Something softened in Liam's gaze. A sigh gusted out of his lips. "We'll talk later. Get some sleep, angel." Miley flinched at his word choice, and Liam tucked some stray strands of her hair behind an ear. "And maybe you should change out of your wet clothes," Liam said with a soft smile, and Miley smiled, too. They had a lot of memories involving the ocean, wet clothes, and playful water fights.
"Thanks," Miley murmured gratefully. "And you should get some rest, too."
Liam nodded and brought his lips to hers. Miley smiled against his lips and wondered for a brief heartbeat if he was trying to tell Nick to back-off with the kiss. Then, Liam smiled at her and left the room. Miley turned back to Nick, feeling so, so embarrassed. She smiled awkwardly at him, and he smiled back amiably. "I can get you some of Liam's things if you want..." Miley offered.
Nick wrinkled his nose at the prospect. "Yeah, I don't think so..."
Miley rolled her eyes. "You're such a girl. Fine. Liam bought some new clothes today, so I'll get you those. I'll get Liam some new ones tomorrow or something."
Nick winked. "Thanks."
And that was it. The fight had completely diffused, and Miley knew there wouldn't be another one—at least, not today.
But she still wondered why he had gotten so... angry. That wasn't like him. If anything, she would be the exasperated one, and he was the one to calm her down.
Miley quickly got the clothes—which were still in a shopping bag—and hurried back to Nick. She blushed as she watched him turn to her, shirtless. He grinned a little, and she handed him the bag. "Take your pick," Miley said with a small smile. "Bathroom's down the hall," she added, pointing. He winked at her and walked down the hall as Miley struggled to stop herself from blushing.
"You have a very nice bathroom."
Miley looked up and smiled as she watched Nick step into her line of sight. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and some shorts. "Thanks, I think," Miley said, her smile widening. Nick glanced around a little awkwardly, and Miley rolled her eyes. She announced, "Let's make this a sleepover!" Saying the words in a ridiculously upbeat voice made Miley feel like a 13-year-old again.
Nick wrinkled his nose. "Aren't those for girls?" he joked.
"Then that's good," Miley smirked, "because Demi says you're a drama princess."
Nick stuck his tongue out at her. "Fine. We'll create a mountain of pillows and charge through like bulls."
"I'm sorry," Miley said a little awkwardly. "For before..."
"It was a fight," Nick said bluntly. "We've had worse."
She nodded and grimaced. "That's true."
They dragged out a large mattress that could've fit five people and indeed made a mountain of pillows and blankets. Miley curled up in a pile of blankets with Nick by her side. Miley stared at the ceiling before turning to him. She grinned, feeling a little awkward. "This is so weird," she murmured as she reached over and grabbed a pillow. She hugged the pillow, feeling so much like a 13-year-old.
Nick grabbed another pillow and mimicked her movements. He grinned lopsidedly. "Go to sleep, Mi."
She closed her eyes. "G'night, Nick."
There was a slight pause. "Good night, Mi," he murmured, voice soft. Miley heard him sing softly. She recognized the tune immediately. "No, I don't wanna love if it's not you. I don't wanna hear the wedding bells prove that we can't try one last time. But I don't wanna hear the wedding bells chime! Trying to fall asleep, you wake me up cause I'm trying to see the light instead of you in white. No, I don't wanna hear the wedding bells chime."
It was his song: Wedding Bells. She smiled a little at the thought.
"'Cause if you recall our anniversary falls 11 nights into June..."
June 11th. Niley Day. The thought burned into Miley's mind.
She remembered for all the June 11ths (even without him), she had celebrated each and every single one of them—sort of as a memorial for their relationship. It would be very simple. She'd listen to a few of his songs, listen to Wedding Bells and Before the Storm, and she would do some silly thing. Once, she had lit up a pretty candle (which was rather simple, but that was what made it so appealing) and watched it burn out.
Nick's voice was like a lull to Miley as she drifted to sleep.
"No, I don't wanna hear the wedding bells chime, the wedding bells..."
Miley's head snapped up. Wait... "Nick," she said, getting up.
He stopped singing. "Sorry, was I disturbing you?"
"No..."
He chuckled. "Miley, this is the part when we sleep."
She shook her head and sat up. She looked him clear in the eye and allowed no room for arguments. He sighed exaggeratedly and got up, too, so their gazes were level. He watched her patiently with a soft look in his eyes. Miley wanted to yell at him for looking at her like that—but at the same time, she couldn't blame him. You didn't choose who you had feelings for. It just happened.
Instead, she said, "Why were you so angry at me?"
"I wasn't angry at you."
Liar. "You were," Miley insisted. "Tell me why."
Nick watched her seriously. "You know why." And he snuggled back in bed.
He told her that she knew why, but honestly, she had no clue. But at least he had admitted, sort of, that he was angry.
So what had she done now?
QotD: What's your favorite season?
#Spring #Fall #Summer #Winter #Oh, well screw that—all of them!
A/N: Hey, it's Darky! So... first Niley fight. Confusing chapter, I know. Before you say or think anything, that just had to happen. It just had to. It's to... help the both of them, so here it is. I was listening to 'Wedding Bells' while writing this. I took absolutely forever to type this up (well, it felt like forever), and I'm not pleased with it... but I think I ended it quite well. So there's that.
I didn't think the reason for the fight was believable, but ehhh. But everyone needs a fight every now and then to let out their churning emotions. So that must be... a little believable.
Fun fact: This was actually supposed to be the 20th chapter, but I remembered I had to make Jemi official. ;) So yeah, long story short I had this entire chapter written out and had to edit so much of it. And I had to write the 20th chapter pretty quickly, so if things don't make sense... well, I don't really bother to proofread my chapters until I publish them.
I know what you're thinking: damn, she's a loser. Well, you're right.
And I know that Miley is actually really smart in real life (well, I think she is), and she probably wouldn't be so clueless about the whole 'angry' thing, but ehh. The chapter needed to work out like this because I have something special planned for, um, the... actually, I don't know which chapter. Probably the 40th. Nah. That was a joke. I really don't know.
And can we take a moment to admire Miley's three-wheeler?
Review your answer to the QotD! Tell me your thoughts? I appreciate it though you don't need to. But who doesn't love reviews? ;)
- Darky