Alyssa's POV
As soon as my parents went ballistic on Blake, my mother marched me right up to my bedroom and slammed the door behind her. What the hell is going on? I thought my mom liked Blake. Why does she suddenly hate him? I don't understand any of this. I'm so shocked, that I almost feel numb. Almost like this is all a crazy dream, that I will wake up from and laugh about.
"I am so sorry I encouraged you to go out with that asshole, Alyssa! I cannot believe what he's done! I'm glad your father is downstairs talking to him because if I were alone with Blake, I'd probably kill him! I'd kill him, and I wouldn't lost a minute of sleep over it!" My mom says, practically screaming.
Kill him? Why does she want to kill Blake? I think I was starting to like him as more than a friend. I even kissed him. His lips were soft. They tasted like mint. I actually enjoyed it...
"Mom, can you explain what he did that was so wrong? I thought you liked Blake? Why do you suddenly want to kill him?" I ask, as I furrow my brow in confusion.
My mom sighs, before taking a seat next to me on my canopy bed. She runs her fingers through my long hair, before planting a soft kiss on my forehead. Why is she being so affectionate? Just a minute ago my mother was fuming. Something isn't right here. Something is really, really, wrong.
"Honey, I didn't know that Blake was a Cavanaugh." My mom says, as she shakes her head slowly.
"What's so bad about being a Cavanaugh?" I ask, with confusion in my voice.
"Alyssa, Blake's mother is the reason your father and I left Rosewood before Matthew was born. We were best friends all through high school, but once I got home from college everything changed. That woman betrayed me in the worst way possible." My mom says, as her chin begins to quiver.
"What did she do?" I ask, as my eyes grow wide with shock.
"It's complicated, honey. I don't want to upset you..." My mom starts to ramble.
My mom's words infuriate me. Why does she treat me like I'm a child, who's incapable of hearing difficult things? My mom owes me the truth at this point.
"Mom, I have every right to know what happened between you and Blake's mom. You cannot kick my date out of the house, and then not give me a suitable explanation as to why. It isn't fair." I say, as I cross my arms over my chest.
"Alyssa, do you remember Charlotte? The girl I was telling you about earlier?" My mom asks, as tears begin to form in her eyes.
"Yeah. She was your friend who passed away, right?" I ask, after thinking about it for a minute.
"Yes. Charlotte meant everything to me, Alyssa. Absolutely everything, and Spencer killed her! She killed my baby- I mean my friend. I hate her Alyssa! I hate her more than anything in the world!" My mom exclaims, as she begins to cry ever harder if that's humanly possible.
Oh. My. God. I haven't seen my mother cry this much since she found out about what happened to me in New York. Who was this Charlotte person? Why hasn't my mom ever told me about her, and why isn't Spencer in jail if she killed an innocent person? I am so confused. This story isn't adding up in the slightest.
"If Spencer killed Charlotte, why isn't she in prison? Don't killers always end up behind bars?" I ask, with confusion in my voice.
"Well... No not exactly. Spencer didn't technically kill Charlotte. She just helped someone else do the deed, so she got off scotch free. Please don't ask me any more questions tonight, Alyssa. It's so hard to talk about, and I don't want to worry you anymore than I already have." My mom says, practically begging.
Before I can respond, my father bursts into my bedroom. At first, he looks angry enough to kill someone, but his features soften when he sees my mother sobbing on my bed. He immediately rushes over to us, before wrapping his arms around my mom.
"Oh Ezra!" My mom says, through her tears.
"Sh-sh. It's okay, love. I had a talk with the Cavanaugh boy. He's not coming near Alyssa ever again. Don't worry, darling." My dad says, trying to comfort the hysterical woman in his arms.
A surge of disappointment rushes through my body. I thought I'd never feel comfortable kissing anyone again, but then Blake came along. I should have known better. Getting involved with guys like Blake never works out well. I'm just glad I didn't get too close to him. Right now I'm sad, but my heart isn't broken. I can deal with more sadness, but I don't think I'd be able to overcome another broken heart.
"Why did Blake get involved with me? He must have known that our families don't get along..." I start to ramble.
"Alyssa, Caleb Rivers told me a lot of interesting things about that boy. Apparently, he likes to use people." My dad says, through his gritted teeth.
For a second, I forget that my heart is broken. I forget that I didn't even love Blake, and that we only spent one evening together. Worst of all, I forget that I'm not in that hospital room in New York. Tears begin to well up in my eyes, and my Dad stares at me with such empathy, that within seconds I'm sobbing.
"Don't cry, princess. Please don't cry." My dad says, as tears begin to form in his eyes.
"Why me? Why does everyone think they can get away with using me? It isn't fair!" I say, through my tears.
At that moment, my dad gently lets go of my mom, and wraps his arms around me. He holds me so close, that I feel like I'm suffocating. I don't mind though. My dad hasn't held me like this is ages, since he never seems to know how to act around me. Now that I'm in his arms, I realize for the first time how much I've missed him.
"Alyssa, you are a special, special girl. One day some lucky man will realize that, and love you as much as your mother and I do. Do you know many girls hurt me when I was in high school and college? So many, that I probably don't have enough fingers to count them. But guess what? After I met your mother, none of those girls ever crossed my mind again. The same thing is going to happen to you, sweetheart. I promise. Once you meet the gentleman who will spend the rest of his life loving you the way you deserve to be loved, Douglas and Blake won't be important anymore. Wait for it, Alyssa. All you have to do is wait." My dad says, as he stares right into my blue eyes.
Even though my dad and I haven't been as close recently, there isn't any doubt in my mind that he's the best Daddy in the entire world. He's always there when it matters most, and he always knows exactly what to say. No wonder my mom fell in love with him.
"Daddy, I hope the man I marry is just like you." I tell him truthfully.
Tears begin to form in my dad's eyes, and he pulls me even closer if that's humanly possible. I close my eyes, and enjoy the feeling of being near my father. I feel so safe when I'm with him.
"Just make sure the man you marry isn't a teacher, okay?" My dad asks, with a chuckle.
"Ezra, this was probably one of the sweetest things I've ever witnessed, and you had to ruin it by making that comment. Of course Alyssa's not going to fall in love with a teacher! I'd shoot him before the thought could cross her mind." My mom says, as she cuddles closer to my father.
"I know you would, sweetheart. I'd kill any teacher who tried to make on her too. Alyssa, if Blake gives you trouble you can come to me. I'll take care of it. Just make sure you do your best to stay away from him." My dad says, as his tone turns serious.
"Don't worry, Daddy. I've learned my lesson." I say, with an involuntary shutter.
"Is there anything we can do for you, baby girl?" My mom asks, through her tears.
"No. I'm really tired. I think I'll go to sleep." I say, as I shake my head slowly.
"Okay. Have a goodnight Alyssa. We love you so much." My mom says before kissing my forehead, and following my father out of the room.
As soon as my parents are gone, the tears start back up again. What am I supposed to do now? There is no way I'll be able to fall asleep anytime soon. Maybe I can write for a few hours. That's always what I do to clear my mind after days like today. I grab my purse, and pull out the journal that Blake bought me. I can't use this. Not after he turned out to be a complete asshole. Then again, I do need a new journal. I let out a breathy sigh before flipping to the front page.
Wait a second. This journal isn't new after all. The front page is covered with faded black ink. My first instinct is to close the journal, and never open it again. Someone wrote their deepest and darkest secrets in here, and it seems like an invasion of that person's privacy to read it. Then again, it's not like the person will ever find out about this. Maybe he or she wanted someone to find it. Who else would donate their journal to a vintage bookstore? I let out a breathy sigh, before beginning the first passage. Who knows? Maybe it was destiny that this journal fell into my hands.
Dear Journal,
I've never really written in one of these things before. It seems strange to talk to an inanimate object like it's an actual person. The only reason I'm even doing this is because my therapist thought it would help. Contrary to what my parents believe, I do want to get better. I just don't know how I can recover from all of this.
After two years of being stalked, it's finally over. Cece is behind bars, and I'm far away from Rosewood. I should feel better. So how come I don't? If anything, I feel even worse than I did before. Maybe Jason was right. You can escape from Rosewood, but Rosewood will never escape from you. When I think of everything that's happened, I feel sick. Absolutely sick. All the deaths, all the lies, all the secrets...
The strangest part is that even though Cece put me through hell, I don't hate her. I wish I did because it would make everything so much less complicated. But how could I possibly hate someone who is so much like me? Just like Cece, I'm the black sheep of my family. They don't understand me, and I sure as hell don't understand them. I never thought I'd say this, but I feel for A. I honestly do.
Before I left for college, I decided to visit Cece in prison. I didn't tell anyone. Not my sister, not my parents, and certainly not my friends. They couldn't possible understand. At first, my meeting with Cece was extremely awkward. She apologized for everything, and I apologized too. I know I didn't owe her an apology, but it honestly felt like it was the right thing to do. After a while, the awkwardness died out, and we just started talking. Eventually, we started laughing.
I go back to Rosewood for Christmas Break. Cece made me promise that I'd visit her. For some reason that I'll never understand, I agreed in a heartbeat. The strangest thing about this is that I'm willing to talk to Cece, but not to my three best friends in the entire world. Every time I call one of them, I'm left with an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. The four of us went through so much together, and now it's just over. All of it. We're in completely different places right now, and probably will be for the rest of our lives. Talking to them hurts, so I've decided to limit my contact with them for the time being. My therapist doesn't agree with my decision, but that's okay.
I don't really know how I'm supposed to end one of these rants, so I'm just going to say see you later to whoever the hell I'm talking to. Adios! Arrivederci! Chow!
-S.J.H
What the hell did I just read? Who is this S.J.H person? Surely, he or she cannot be an actual person. This is merely a story. A character and plot that someone invented in their free time. I'm a bit confused though. Why is there a stalker whose name is Cece, and A at the same time? Her opening is rather ambiguous. Maybe that's part of her style? Maybe I'll read more of this another time. For now, I think I'll sleep.
Line Break
Since I have no one to see and no where to go, I sleep until noon and don't think twice about it. I lay in my cozy bed, and contemplate whether or not I should go downstairs to see my parents. I want to stay in bed forever, but I don't want them to worry about me. Especially after what happened last night. I let out a breathy sigh before sprinting to my feet, and walking downstairs to the kitchen.
A startled gasp escapes from my lips when I see Hanna Rivers and my mother, whispering amongst themselves. What is Hanna doing here? Maybe my mom told her about my date with Blake? Could this woman hate the Cavanaughs as much as my mother does? Was she friends with Charlotte too?
"Alyssa! Good morning, darling. Say hello to Hanna." My mom says as she gestures towards her blonde friend.
"Hi, Hanna." I mutter, as I avoid looking into the woman's piercing blue eyes.
"Hello, Alyssa. It's so nice to see you! I know someone else who is very excited to see you today. I told Jessie that I was stopping by, and he practically begged me to drag him along." Hanna says, with a chuckle.
"Honey, Jessie is outside waiting for you on the porch. Why don't you say hello?" My mom suggests.
Is my mom really doing this today? After everything that happened with Blake, I thought she'd take a break from trying to set me up with Jessie. Seeing a stupid boy is the last thing I want to do this morning.
"I'm not exactly dressed." I mutter, as I gesture towards the oversized t-shirt and sweats that I fell asleep in last night.
"Jessie won't mind. He probably won't even notice." Hanna says, speaking up for the second time this morning.
"Great. I'll go see him now." I say, as I try my best to suppress an eye roll.
When I get out to the porch, Jessie is completely absorbed in one of the games on his iPhone. How long has he been waiting out here? All the sudden, I feel guilty for sleeping in so late...
"Hey, Jess." I say, snapping him out of his own little world.
"Alyssa! Hey! You're finally awake!" Jessie exclaims, as he frantically turns off his iPhone and shoves it into his pocket.
"Yeah. I'm awake alright." I say as I take a seat next to him.
The next few seconds are extremely awkward. Jessie and I don't speak, or exchange so much as a glance. He seems...tense. I wonder what's wrong.
"Can I just address the giant elephant in the room? What the hell were you thinking?" Jessie asks, as his tone turns angry.
"Excuse me?" I ask, as my eyes grow wide with shock.
"Going on a date with Blake Cavanaugh! Of all of the guys in the world, you chose that pretentious asshole? Do you have any idea who Blake is? The things he does are so outrageous, Alyssa. Do you remember those guys who called your mother a whore on the first day of school? Those are two of his best friends!" Jessie says, practically screaming.
Jessie's anger surprises me. He's usually so calm and carefree. Why does he care so much about my date with Blake? I honestly don't see how it's any of his business.
"Jessie, calm down. It was one stupid date. I didn't know those things about Blake when I agreed to go out with him, so chill." I say, with an eye roll.
"I'm sorry, Alyssa. I didn't mean to shout. You're just such a sweet girl, and I don't want to see you get hurt." Jessie says, as his voice begins to soften.
This is degrading. Why does Jessie think he needs to look out for me? Blake Cavanaugh is the least of my problems.
"With all do respect, Jessie, I've dealt with way worse than Blake Cavanaugh. You don't know who I am, and you certainly don't know what I've been through. I'm not some little girl who needs protection. You're not even my older brother." I say, as I begin to raise my voice.
"I know that, Alyssa. I'm just trying to be a friend. Geez. No need to have a cow." Jessie says, as he shakes his head slowly.
His words strike a chord in me. I might have overreacted a bit. Jessie is the only person who's been completely loyal to me since I got to Rosewood. Maybe he really does care, and I'm pushing him away, just like I pushed my family away.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go crazy on you. It's just that the last forty-eight hours have really sucked." I say, as tears begin to form in my eyes.
"No. Don't apologize. I understand. You're new to Rosewood, and you don't know which families we're supposed to stay away from. I can help you out with that, if you'd let me." Jessie says, as he grabs my hand, and gives it a gentle squeeze.
There it is. That burning feeling I get whenever someone touches me. Last night when I was kissing Blake, I convinced myself that I had gotten past the irrational fear. I guess I haven't because my skin is literally on fire. I can't push Jessie away though. Not when he's only trying to help...
"There are other families we have to stay away from? I thought it was only the Cavanughs." I say, with confusion in my voice.
"Hello no! There are some twisted people in Rosewood, Alyssa. You're Uncle is one of them. Our families hate him, his wife Mona, and their son Josh. But that's not all. There's also the Campells. They have a daughter named Amanda who is in my grade. Total bitch." Jessie says, with a smirk.
My parents taught me to be kind to everyone. The fact that they supposedly hate all of these people surprises me. Does it have something to do with Charlotte? Maybe all of these families were somehow involved in her death?
"Jessie, what happened? Why do we have so many enemies?" I ask him.
"Alyssa, they're not our enemies. Enemies consume people's thoughts. We don't spend an ounce of time thinking about those people. The only time we cross paths with the Cavanaughs, the Montgomerys, or the Campells is if they overstep their boundaries. Blake definitely crossed a line when he asked you out. Your father will probably give Toby Cavanaugh an earful today or tomorrow." Jessie says, with a chuckle.
"But Jessie, what happened? Who was Charlotte?" I ask, as my voice softens.
"Charlotte?" Jessie asks, as he furrows his brow in confusion.
"Yeah. My mom's friend. She told me about her yesterday. Apparently Spencer killed Charlotte, and that's why my mom hates her." I say, filling Jessie in.
A look of realization washes over Jessie's face, and soon that look is replaced by sheer panic. Why is he so upset all of the sudden? Did Jessie know Charlotte? Maybe he was friends with her too. But if that's the case, why didn't he recognize her name right away?
"Alyssa, it's complicated. I'm really not supposed to talk about this." Jessie says, in a barely audible whisper.
"Why not? You call tell me! We're friends, remember?" I ask, as I raise an eyebrow.
"I should go. I have a lot of homework I need to finish for tomorrow." Jessie mutters before springing to his feet.
"You came with your mom. She's still in the kitchen." I remind him.
"That's okay. I'll walk home." Jessie says, after thinking about it for a minute.
But Jessie doesn't walk. He runs. He runs until he's far, far, far, away from my house at the end of the street.
AN: What did you think? Any new theories on what happened between the girls? Did you like the scene with Aria, Ezra, and Alyssa? What did you think of the diary entree Alyssa read? I think all of you know who wrote it ;). Do you like Alyssa and Jesse? What is he keeping from her? Thanks so much for reading, and please review!
AN: I've gotten several reviews asking why I named Aria's "friend" Charlotte, when CeCe's real name is Charlotte. Please keep in mind that I've been working on this story since last March, and I named all the characters before A was revealed. I hope it doesn't cause too much confusion :)