Chapter 21 – Are You a Doctor, Young Man?

Remus came to school the next day, but didn't look well.

"You don't look too good, mate," said James, seeing his pale face and dull eyes. "Sure you shouldn't have stayed home in bed?"

"No, I'm fine," smiled Remus, not feeling at all like he should have gone, but he just couldn't stand to be bedridden again.

"You sure?" asked Sirius, equally concerned.

"I'm fine. Really."

"How did you manage to convince your mother to let you go?" asked Peter when they sat in Science class. "I mean, she's a bit overprotective, isn't she?"

"Quiet down there, Pettigrew!" sounded McGonagall's stern voice.

"She left early," said Remus and felt a sharp sting to his chest. His throat felt like sand paper and he swallowed a couple of times, trying to moist it a bit. After ten minutes he raised a shaking hand. "Professor McGonagall? May I go get some water, please? My throat is very dry."

"I'm sure you can survive until recess," said McGonagall, peering over her spectacles; but upon seeing Remus' face she continued, "You don't look well. Perhaps you should pay a visit to Madam Pomfrey."

"Perhaps," nodded Remus.

"Well. Go on, then."

Remus got to his feet but as soon as he stood up, his head started swimming. He tried to walk, but a few steps from the door his chest felt so tight that he almost couldn't breathe. Then everything went dark as he passed out, collapsing on the floor.

Everybody stared at Remus. A girl screamed and Sirius and James jumped up and rushed over to Remus.

"MOVE!" said Sirius, unceremoniously pushing someone away who had already kneeled by Remus. "Remus? Remus!" he said, giving the boy a shake.

"Careful there!" instructed McGonagall, looking flustered. "Somebody fetch Madam Pomfrey! Potter - you go!"

James raced out of the room and down the hall to the nurse's office. He returned with Madam Pomfrey a few minutes later and she kneeled down beside the still unconscious boy. He was pale as a ghost and his breathing came in wheezy puffs.

"We need to call an ambulance," she said after looking Remus over for a moment. "I'm worried about his breathing. Remus? Remus, can you hear me?" She gave him a gentle shake but there was no response.

The ambulance arrived ten minutes later. The paramedics managed to get through to Remus, but he was very groggy. "Just lie still and concentrate on breathing into this," said one as he put an oxygen mask over Remus' nose and mouth.

Madam Pomfrey told the paramedics about Remus' condition as they lifted him up on the gurney.

There was turmoil in the main hall as students had milled out of classrooms to see what was going on, of course having heard the ambulance.

"What happened?"

"Who are they picking up?"

"It's probably somebody in Binn's class who died of boredom."

"Make room!" said McGonagall, ushering people out of the way so the paramedics could roll the gurney down the hallway.

Sirius, Peter and James stood in the doorway, watching the ambulance drive off. "We have to go to the hospital so he isn't alone," said James, looking at his friends.

"I have to get Regulus first," said Sirius.

As the only student to have stayed in his classroom, Regulus was sitting at a desk in the back, reading a textbook.

"Reggie!" said Sirius as he rushed into the room. "It's Remus. He fainted in class and the ambulance just picked him up."

"What?" said Regulus, considering for a second if his brother was joking, but then he remembered how Remus had looked yesterday. He jumped up. "Why? What's wrong with him? Is he okay? Drive us there!"

"I don't know what happened," said Sirius as they hurried down the hallway. Sirius was a little surprised that Regulus wanted to go to the hospital. Usually he refused to enter a hospital because of all the illness in there, but it seemed that his worry for Remus was overriding that fear.

"Why did he come to school? Why didn't you tell him to go home?" demanded Regulus in the car. "Why didn't you drive him home? You lot are supposed to be his friends!"

"Easy, tiger," said James. "We're not his parents. We can't order him around."

o0o0o

They arrived at the hospital twenty minutes later and Sirius had hardly stopped the car before Regulus tore the door open and sprinted towards the main entrance. He steered directly up to the counter in the lobby. "I want to see Remus Lupin," he demanded.

The nurse looked a little surprised at Regulus' urgency and then typed the name into the computer. "Hmm… He just came in." She gave them directions to the ward Remus had been taken to, and they hurried there.

Although they were not family, Sirius managed to charm the nurse at the counter into letting them see Remus.

"You can see him if you wear a mask. Just until the doctor has looked him over." She handed the four boys a mask each and told them where they could find Remus.

"Did you just disinfect your hands?" asked Regulus, looking from the mask in his hand to the nurse.

"I always do."

"Well, right now you didn't," pointed Regulus out. "You just typed on your computer, and keyboards are as full of germs as toilet handles."

"Here we go again," said Peter to the others, rolling his eyes.

The nurse looked very taken aback. Then she sighed, took out a bottle of hand sanitizer and rubbed it on her hands before giving them four new masks. "There. Now you saw me disinfect them."

"Good," said Regulus, his eyes piercing the nurse. "Because what good is handing out masks against germs when you rub germs on them while doing so?"

"Reggie, let's just go see Remus," said Sirius.

Remus' parents had not arrived yet but there was a doctor and a nurse looking him over. The four boys went as close as they could without getting in the way. Remus was as pale as the sheets, his eyes shut. Sometimes he pressed them even harder shut as if he was in a pain. He was still wearing the oxygen mask.

"What's wrong with him?" Regulus wanted to know.

"I'm not sure yet," said the doctor and listen to Remus' chest. "His breathing has gotten worse since he was picked up by the ambulance. I have ordered some tests. Gloria – I need five samples for a start," he told the nurse, who was in the middle of applying an IV to Remus' arm.

Sirius looked from Remus to Regulus, who stood nervously shuffling his feet. It was easy to see that he was very uncomfortable there. The nurse drew the blood and hurried off with the doctor to get them processed.

Remus' parents came rushing in, Mrs. Lupin at her son's bedside in two seconds. She burst out in tears. "Remus, oh Remus!"

Mr. Lupin, put a calming hand on her shoulder. "Remus? Are you awake?"

Remus opened his eyes just barely to look up at his father.

"Why did you go to school when you were ill? Why?" demanded Mrs. Lupin through tears.

"Hope, give the boy a rest," said Mr. Lupin. "He doesn't need scolding."

"We asked him if he shouldn't have stayed home," said Sirius. The sound of Sirius' voice made Remus turn his head and look at his friend, and then he spotted Regulus. He tried to reach out a hand for him but it was so heavy it fell back on the bed.

"It's your fault he got ill in the first place!" said Regulus. "He got it on that damned bus! Why didn't you drive him home?"

Sirius looked stunned for a moment. "He insisted on taking the bus! What was I supposed to do? Force him into my car?"

"Yes! He was only declining because he's so modest!"

"Boys - let's not blame each other. It's nobody's fault," said Mr. Lupin. "And we don't know if he got it on the bus. It could have come from anywhere."

"He got it on the bus," maintained Regulus. "Those things are death traps."

Gloria the nurse came into the room and clipped a small oxygen tube to Remus' nose, clasping it together behind his neck, and put the mask away. "There. Much easier, isn't it?"

Remus gave a nod and a weak smile.

"Looks much better on you," joked Sirius, trying to lighten the mood.

"Feels... better too," gasped Remus. He felt like he had been out running for miles.

"Just rest, darling," said Mrs. Lupin. "You can't overexert yourself. Maybe we shouldn't be so many people in here?"

"Alright..." said Sirius. "We can go sit in the foyer for a while."

"Or go get something in the cafeteria," said James. "It's past lunch time."

"How can you think of food when Remus is lying here dying?" snarled Regulus.

"He's not dying!" retorted James but then looked nervous for a moment as if Regulus might be right. They actually didn't know how serious Remus' condition was. The doctor had not come back with the results yet.

The sound of the word "dying" made Remus look up at his mother with a nervous expression. "I'm not... dying... Am I?"

"Nobody's dying," said Mr. Lupin firmly. "Remus just gets more ill than other people. It's not the first time he's looked this bad and he's still here, isn't he? You boys just go ahead and get something to eat. It might be some time till there are any news."

"That's right, you little drama queen," mumbled James as they left for the cafeteria.

Mrs. Lupin stroked her son's hair, telling him that everything was going to be all right. Remus closed his eyes and enjoyed the sound of his mother's voice and the stroking of his hair. It always comforted him when he was ill. "Regulus..." he mumbled. "Thanks… for coming..."

"Of course. What did you expect?"

"Thought… hospitals… freak you out..." Remus said, struggling to speak.

"Well..." Suddenly Regulus became aware that they were actually in a hospital and immediately he started to get anxious. He had been so occupied with Remus that he hadn't had time to think of these things. "Of course I'm coming here with you. I'm not scared."

Remus closed his eyes tightly for a moment as a sharp pain shot through his chest and he held his breath while the pain ebbed away.

Mrs. Lupin was still crying, which made Regulus very uncomfortable. He didn't like to leave Remus, but he felt like he was intruding on something private. "Maybe... Maybe I should give you a little privacy."

"Okay, dear," said Mrs. Lupin. "You're welcome to stay. You mean so much to Remus. But I understand if you need to step out for a moment."

"I'll just wait in the visitors' lounge. I want to hear what the doctors find out," said Regulus and left the room. Now that he was aware of his surroundings, the trip down the corridor past the rooms - many with open doors so he could see the patients - and past ill people sitting in wheelchairs or being pushed by on gurneys, made his insides crawl up into his throat. He had a strong urge to sprint out of the hospital and directly home to take a long shower.

"Remus is sleeping," said Mrs. Lupin when the doctor entered the room. "Is it bad, doctor?"

"Well… both lungs are infected and his CRP values are very high. I'm going to run some more tests on him." He looked from one parent to the other. "We will start him on antibiotics immediately and hope his body can fight off the infection."

Mrs. Lupin started crying again.

"Now, now," said the doctor. "No need to get worked up. Your son is in good hands and will get all the treatment he needs. It will likely take a long time, but I'm sure he will recover. People of normal health would beat something like this in a few weeks, but of course we must expect quite more time."

Mrs. Lupin dapped her eyes with her already soaked tissue and looked up at her husband, who had put an arm around her shoulder. "Lyall - you should go tell Regulus the diagnosis. He's waiting in the visitors' lounge."

"I'll do that." He found Regulus sitting at the far end of the corner of the lounge and he pulled up a chair to sit down across from him, proceeding to explain what the doctor had said.

Regulus felt his already tense gut curl up. "So what does that mean? How serious is it? How quickly can they cure him?"

"They don't know yet," said Mr. Lupin. "They're going to run some more tests." He noticed how concerned Regulus looked and sent him a smile. "Remus is a fighter. He will pull through."

Regulus didn't know what to do now. He wasn't keen on sitting in Remus' room with his parents, both because he felt like he was imposing and because he felt like he was forced to be social, but he did not know how long he could stand sitting in the visitors' lounge. He felt like he was breathing in polluted air and every time someone came within close range of him, his heart started hammering against his ribcage.

"Do you want to come back to Remus' room?" Mr. Lupin asked. "I was thinking of getting Hope to go with me to the cafeteria and get some food while Remus sleeps, and I figured that you might want to sit with Remus while we're gone. Just so if he wakes up he won't be alone."

"Yes. Yes, okay, I can do that," said Regulus, trying not to show how relieved he was. He didn't know how much longer he would have been able to stand sitting in the lounge.

Back in Remus' room Mr. Lupin went over to his wife, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Come on, Hope. Let's go get something to eat. Regulus is going to stay here with Remus." He turned to Regulus. "You want us to bring you some food? Something to drink?"

Regulus shook his head. He was hungry but would rather starve to death than eat anything from a cafeteria. As they were leaving he said, "Oh - maybe a bottle of water. Plain. No bubbles or citrus or anything."

Remus' parents came back half an hour later, bringing Regulus his bottle of water. Mrs. Lupin looked more collected now and not crying any more.

Regulus found a tissue and hand sanitizer in his bag, and carefully cleansed the whole water-bottle with it, paying extra attention to the cap before unscrewing it. He froze suddenly as he noticed everybody's eyes on him; Mr. Lupin with raised eyebrows. "I'm not crazy," he said quickly, remembering that Remus' mother was a psychologist. "It's just that these bottles go through several hands before ending up in the stores, and there's no knowing what germs they have been carrying."

Mrs. Lupin nodded and sent him a smile. "I used to do that when Remus was little as well, although Lyall always thought I was overreacting." She sighed and pushed Remus' hair back from his forehead to look at his pale face. "I'll do anything to protect my son."

"I want to protect him too," said Mr. Lupin a little annoyed. "But you know Remus needs to live just a little as a normal teenager."

"He isn't a normal teenager!" said Mrs. Lupin in a sharp tone. "He's ill!"

"Please don't fight," croaked Remus, opening his eyes.

"Remus, darling," said Mrs. Lupin and took her son's hand. "I thought you were asleep. How are you feeling?"

Remus sent his mother a forced smile and then looked at Regulus. "Could I have a cup of that water?"

"Of course!" said Regulus, jumping to his feet. "And I'm sure it's safer than the water the nurses would give you." He held the bottle to Remus' lips. "Drink from the bottle. We don't know about the cups here. I'll bring you some clean ones tomorrow. I didn't drink of the bottle yet, so it's safe," he quickly added.

"Regulus," said Mr. Lupin, looking puzzled. "This is a hospital - if anybody knows how to treat ill people, it's the staff and they are very careful with what they give to their patients."

"You can't count on that. Every employee is an individual and you can't expect them all to follow procedure."

Mr. Lupin just shook his head. "Oh, Regulus, I forgot to tell you that your brother and his friends drove home. We agreed there were quite enough people in the room. He said to call when you wanted to be picked up."

A bit later, a nurse came in to change one of the IV bags. "More fluids for you," she smiled at Remus, who opened his lids just enough to look up at her. Then she prepared a syringe. "I'm just going to inject this, okay Remus? It's a shot of vitamin C and D. Doctor's orders."

Regulus thought that having Remus drink a lot of fruit juice and take some cod-liver oil would be a much better way to get the vitamins, but he didn't interfere. Remus obviously needed these things fast.

The nurse found another syringe. "I'll give you something to sleep on and a shot of pain killer to give you a little break from those chest pains as well."

This was too much for Regulus to ignore. "Don't let her, Remus! You should take only the medicine you absolutely need in order to be cured!"

"Remus needs to sleep and if anything can ease his pain and discomfort, then he's getting it!" said Mrs. Lupin, sending Regulus a strict look.

"But it's very unhealthy," Regulus objected. "The chemicals will damage his body and -"

"Are you a doctor, young man?" asked the nurse, looking very stern.

"I don't need to be a doctor to know stuff. I read a lot of science, and I'm my Chemistry professor's top student!"

The nurse planted a hand on her hip. "He is in a lot of pain and really needs the pain killers. Would you rather have him lie here suffering just so you can prove a point? We know what we are doing, and believe it or not, I went to school and had chemistry too, and then three years of nursing school, so I think I know best what this boy needs!"

Regulus gave up, slumping into his seat, muttering something about liver damage.

"You must excuse my son's boyfriend," said Mrs. Lupin. "He's a little paranoid."

"Clearly," said the nurse and gave Remus a shot of morphine. "There we go," she smiled at Remus, although he was lying with his eyes closed. "That should do the trick."

Half an hour after the nurse had left, Mr. Lupin put a hand on his wife's shoulder. Remus' breathing had gone steady (although still a bit wheezy) and he lay with his eyes closed, clearly sleeping. "I think we should go home. They will call us if anything changes." He turned to look at Regulus, who had not taken his eyes off Remus since he had gotten the shot. "Do you want a ride?"

Regulus didn't like to leave Remus unprotected, but he couldn't stay forever. "Why don't one of you stay? You could take turns. We could all take turns."

"Remus will be sleeping the next many hours, Regulus," said Mr. Lupin. "There is no point in sitting here."

"But then he'll be unguarded!"

"Unguarded from what?" asked Mr. Lupin, looking confused.

Regulus scratched his neck. "He's lying here all helpless. The staff might give him all sorts of things without us knowing about it..."

"Regulus," said Mrs. Lupin in a friendly but determined tone. "I think you deep down know that your fears are unreasonable. It's one thing that you make your own life difficult, but I will not let you impose your irrational fears on Remus."

Regulus felt heat rise in his cheeks, both from embarrassment and anger. "But you people are too trusting! Hospitals are dangerous places. Just look at the statistics how many people came in with non-life-threatening injuries who ended up dead!"

Remus' parents exchanged looks. "Regulus, seriously," said Mr. Lupin. "This is a good hospital and we have full confidence in the staff. They will call us if anything changes."

Regulus pressed his lips together, realising that the battle was lost. If Remus' parents wouldn't stay the night, Regulus would have to trust that the staff would leave Remus alone, because Regulus had to go home. He was starving and, even worse, his bladder was about to burst, and there was no way he would use a public toilet. "I'll just call my brother to come pick me up."

o0o0o

"Do you think he didn't want to ride with us because he was angry?" asked Mr. Lupin when Sirius had picked up his brother.

"No. He hasn't wanted to ride with me in all the time he has been coming around," said Mrs. Lupin and kissed Remus' forehead. "He has those issues with proximity, you know. And he's also afraid of me because I'm a psychologist, and he believes I want to analyse him."

"Oh. Yes I can see that. I would be scared too if I weren't so used to you," chuckled Mr. Lupin.

"Lyall," said Mrs. Lupin, not in the mood for jokes. "You must not indulge Regulus in his obsessions. You must be firm and not let him try to include us in them. Like before."

"What? You're the one who keeps reprimanding me when I try to talk about his strange ideas, saying I must not pressure him."

"Pressuring him and not allowing him to force his irrational fears on us is not the same thing. He needs understanding, yes, and should not be forced to do the things that frighten him, but we must not allow him to include us in it. By doing so we're validating his ideas and he will only become more convinced he is right."

Mr. Lupin looked confused for a moment but then sighed and nodded. "Well... let's go home and get some sleep."

A/N: To see Zayhad's illustration to the chapter go to deviantart dot com and look up Zayhad. She has a folder in her gallery with the story's name on it.