Chapter 21
JPOV (Jasper)
I was trying to focus on keeping my breathing regular, and my muscles relaxed. I could feel the fluid pumping through my body, in and out through that cursed tube. It was an uncomfortable feeling, as the tube felt like it was expanding with the fluid and was putting pressure on the inner walls of my manhood.
The burning was slowly being extinguished, though, so I tried to concentrate on those areas that had found relief rather than the areas that were still causing me discomfort.
I heard a low growl, and opened my eyes to look over at Edward. He was whispering something to Emmett and Rose.
I asked him through my thoughts, "What is it?"
"Don't worry, Jasper, we'll take care of it. Let's go…"
I could feel Edward's anger and I knew this couldn't be good. Just as they got to the doorway, I yelled my thoughts to Edward's mind.
"Wait! Edward, don't leave me here, like this!"
My anxiety at being completely restrained with no chance of defending myself or my mate was filling the room. Edward turned around and met my anxious gaze.
"Everything will be fine, Jasper."
Then he turned to Alice, "Do not take his restraints off, Alice! His body is not completely healed, yet. He needs more time on that machine, and more blood. Oh, and his arms and legs are beginning to hurt again. Why don't you apply some more of that ointment? We'll take care of things up here."
I glared at him, but he just smiled, winked, and ran upstairs. He was telling Alice the truth, my arms and legs did feel like someone was poking them with pins where the nerves were reattaching, but it was only a minor tingling of pain compared to the fire that was still burning inside me.
I watched as Alice picked up the container and walked back over to my side. I heard Esme comment that she was going to replace the bag that was feeding me with a fresh one. My entire body shuddered at the thought of the warm, fresh blood that would soon be traveling down the tube in my throat.
It was definitely not the preferable way to be fed, but I couldn't deny that the liquid was bringing back my strength. I could almost feel the monster inside me panting in anticipation of that sweet liquor.
I closed my eyes and tried to distract myself. I did not want to lose control. I could feel Alice's worry for me. I wanted to comfort her. I tried to send a wave of calm over to her, but she just shook her head.
"I'm fine, Jazz. Save your strength."
I could feel her fingers slide under my arm and gently lift it away from the bed. Her touch was still the only one I didn't flinch away from. I watched her as she gently spread the ointment on the tender spots.
Her touch was very soft as she caressed her fingers around my arm. My love and adoration for her, my mate, my one and only, filled the air around us. She smiled up at me and her gentle voice told me that she loved me too.
She moved around the bed, and rubbed some ointment onto the tender spots of my other arm. She spread some on my ankle next, and then hesitated. She would have to loosen the straps restraining my upper thighs and my left ankle in order to apply the ointment where it was needed below my knee.
I tried to send her a wave of trust, but my instincts were screaming at me to get ready to flee as soon as the chance arose. I knew she could feel my struggle. I closed my eyes and tried to keep my twitching muscles still. It wasn't long, before I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
"How is he doing?"
I could hear the concern in Carlisle's voice, and I could feel his sincerity. Bella was following him into the room, and I could see the concern in her face as well.
I couldn't allow my instincts to take over. I had to trust my family. I took a deep breath, and was about to speak. I wanted to tell them that I would not fight against them. Before I could even form the words in my mouth, I heard Bella relaying my message.
"Jasper is ready for you to put the ointment on his leg. He won't resist or try to escape."
Carlisle's gaze met mine, and I nodded. I watched as he slowly released the strap across my lower left leg. It took all of the strength left in me to keep my leg still.
Alice put her hand on my ankle and began rubbing the lower part of my leg, trying to relieve the tension in the muscles. She knows me, so well.
I took a deep breath, as Carlisle loosened the restraint binding my upper legs to the bed. I clenched my fists, trying to hold the urge to run in my hands. I could hear Bella's voice in my head.
"Just breathe, Jasper. You can do this."
I barely felt the ointment being spread on my leg, as I was concentrating on staying calm. Soon it was over, and I could feel the straps being tightened. I wasn't sure if I felt relief or disappointment when I realized that I was bound to the bed once again.
I raised my head up and looked at my restrained body. A low growl escaped from deep in my chest, as the monster inside me voiced its frustration at being restrained.
How much longer did I have to be like this? I was, after all, feeling much stronger than before.
"Carlisle, how much longer do you think it will take before Jasper is back to his old self?"
I turned my head to look at Bella, smiling in gratitude for asking the question that was in my thoughts. I heard the hesitation in Carlisle's voice, and felt his apprehension.
"I know this is hard for you, Jasper. We'll just have to take it one step at a time. Why don't we check on your progress, okay?"
Carlisle knew that Bella was asking for me. I waited until his eyes met mine, then I nodded letting him know I understood.
Alice pulled up a stool and sat beside me, her fingers gently caressing my arm from my elbow to the strap that was binding my wrist to the bed.
I wanted to get lost in her beautiful face, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Carlisle. He had moved up along my other side. Even though I trusted him, I still felt very anxious and needed to watch what he was going to do to me.
My uneasiness was obviously emanating off of my body, as Carlisle was moving at a slower than human pace. I appreciated his efforts and desire to not startle me, but the anticipation of what he was going to do was more than I could bear.
My muscles began to tense up, and I could feel a growl rumbling in my chest.
"Just do it, Carlisle!"
My voice sounded angrier than I had meant it, and I immediately regretted losing control. I looked at him apologetically, but he only returned my gaze with a smile.
He gently placed his fingers on my abdomen and began pressing down ever so slightly. Each time he released the pressure, he would look me in the eyes, and wait to see if there was any reaction.
I only winced a few times, and he seemed pleased with my progress. I took a ragged breath as he moved his hands up and placed them around my neck. My fists clenched tight as I tried to contain the growl that was building inside me.
Why was I reacting this way? I know Carlisle would never harm me.
I tried to ignore the monster inside me that was hissing and commanding me to snap at his hands. I could feel Alice's hand gently squeeze my arm and I heard Bella's voice in my mind reminding me to trust Carlisle.
I grimaced slightly as he pressed on my throat. It still felt like I had swallowed razors and ripped up all the tissue on the inside.
He didn't say anything, he just walked over to the counter. I could hear him touching various tools and such.
Oh, great!
I looked over at Alice, and saw the worry in her eyes. I felt horrible knowing that I was causing her pain. She deserved someone that wouldn't hurt her.
"No, Jasper, you don't understand. She is concerned because she knows you are still hurting and she doesn't know how to take your pain away."
I turned to look at Bella and she smiled at me. Her voice was comforting and calming. Then I noticed Carlisle was walking back over to me, with a tray full of medical instruments and supplies in his hands.
My breathing increased in speed, as my entire body filled with anxiety.
What now!
I heard Bella's voice in my thoughts again.
"Trust Carlisle, Jasper. He's here to help you. Let Alice distract you while Carlisle is working on you. It will help her feel better if she knows she is helping you, and it will be easier for you to relax if you are not inspecting everything Carlisle is doing. Believe me, sometimes it is better to be ignorant of what's going on in these types of situations."
I tried to take a deep breath and think about Bella's advice.
Could I just let Carlisle do what he needed to, trusting he wouldn't hurt me? Would it be easier to control the monster inside me if I wasn't aware of all of Carlisle's actions?
I remembered that Bella had many doctor and hospital experiences when she was human, so maybe I should listen to her and give it a try. I turned my head just enough so I could completely fill my vision with Alice's beautiful face. I smiled at her, and whispered the words I thought she needed to hear.
"I love you."
Carlisle's hands were along the side of my face, gently bringing my head back to the center and tilting it back ever so slightly. I kept my eyes on Alice, though, afraid that I could only follow Bella's advice if I kept eye contact with my mate.
Alice could sense my need for her to distract me, and immediately she began rubbing my chest. I think I heard Carlisle tell me to hold my breath, but I'm not sure. I was completely dazzled by my other half's gentle caresses and I was definitely lost in her sparkling eyes.
I felt my body shudder as Carlisle opened my mouth and put that metal tool inside, opening my throat to him. I gagged a few times, as Carlisle was doing something in my throat.
Each time I gagged, I felt my muscles tense automatically, but then I would hear Alice's voice reminding me she was here with me. I would feel a soft butterfly kiss on my shoulder, and my body would instantly relax again.
I didn't know what Carlisle was doing, but my throat was beginning to feel better and I was grateful for any pain relief.
BPOV
Jacob had led me into the den and sat down with me on the couch. I think I was in shock from what I had just witnessed upstairs.
"Jake, why would anyone do that to someone else? Ew…I think my eyes are burning. Who was that? Why are they in this house with us? Where are we?"
I could tell from his expression, Jake didn't want to answer any of my questions. So I just closed my eyes and let my head fall back onto the top of the couch.
I could hear him breathing next to me, and could feel the warmth from his body. I still hadn't completely come to terms with the whole vampire and werewolf thing, and wasn't used to his body being so warm and mine being constantly cold.
I heard footsteps outside the room, and felt Jake's body stiffen. I looked up at him, and saw the torn look in his eyes.
"Just go, Jacob. I'll be fine, here. Carlisle should be back any minute."
He looked into my eyes, nodded, then sprinted out of the room. His entire body was quivering like he was having convulsions. I didn't know what had him on edge like that, and by this point I really didn't want to know. I had too much to deal with already.
It wasn't long, before I could feel someone's presence entering the room with me. I inhaled quickly, and instantly recognized Carlisle's scent. I opened my eyes, and saw him smiling at me.
I smiled back sheepishly, knowing that he knew exactly what I had done.
"Bella, how are you feeling? Edward mentioned to me that part of your memory seems to be erased or blocked from you."
"Fine, I guess. It's all so overwhelming. I'm not sure what happened. I remember bits and pieces, but there are still big chunks of time missing."
"Do you remember hitting your head or having a headache at all?"
"Now that you mention it, every once in awhile I do suffer with a sharp pain in my head. It kind of makes everything fuzzy and my eyes get blurry. I found that if I close my eyes and try to clear my mind it goes away."
"You say it occurs every once in awhile. What are you doing right before this pain happens?"
"The last time I remember feeling the pain was when Edward and I were trying to reach Jasper's thoughts. I had opened a channel to Edward's mind first, then I tried to open one with Jasper. When I did, I felt the sharp pain instantly."
"Does it only happen when you are using your power to connect with someone else's mind?"
"That is the only time I remember it happening, but it doesn't happen every time I connect with someone. And, once Edward's mind helped me open the channel with Jasper's mind, the pain was gone. It was like Edward was able to strengthen the weak link or something."
"Hmm…interesting. Bella, I'd like to examine you for a minute."
I watched as Carlisle pulled up a chair in front of me. He placed his hands on my head, and gently applied pressure to different areas of my forehead. I grimaced when he reached a tender spot above my left eye.
He took out a small flashlight looking tool from his pocket, and told me to look straight ahead. He shone the light into each of my eyes, intently looking for something.
"Okay, Bella, I'd like you to open a channel with my thoughts."
I closed my eyes, and connected my mind with his. I heard him silently ask me to open my eyes. When I did, he shone the light into them once again.
I pulled back slightly, as it startled me. The light seemed twice as bright as the last time.
"It's okay, Bella. Just try to relax."
He pressed on my forehead again, and I winced when he hit that same tender spot.
"Are you feeling any pain?"
"Just in that one spot when you touch it."
Then he asked me to open another channel with someone else's mind, while keeping the connection with his open.
I was worrying about Jasper, so I decided to open a channel with his mind. I could feel his mind struggling as soon as the connection was made. He was trying to resist the urge to escape, but was quickly losing the battle.
I was about to speak to him to try and calm him down, when that awful searing pain shot through my head. I shrieked in pain, and instantly broke both connections.
"Bella, are you alright?"
I opened my eyes to see Carlisle's concerned face right in front of mine. His hands were holding my face, as he tried to steady me. I nodded.
"Jasper is struggling. We need to go to him."
Carlisle understood. He must have sensed Jasper's struggle as I did while our minds were connected. He let go of my face, and reached out his hand to help me up. Then he turned and headed for the door.
"Bella, when everything else settles down, I think we need to explore this a little more."
"Okay, Carlisle. But, please don't tell Edward about this. He worries enough about me as it is."
"Of course, I won't say anything to him until we know more. You need to promise me, though, that if the pain occurs again, or if things get worse you will tell me right away."
"I promise."
I could see the doorway just ahead of us, and focused on opening my mind up to Jasper's.
A/N: Is Bella going to be okay? To find out, you know what you must do! Review!