21. Smile

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"It's Britney, bitch," the song began as I walked out onto the stage; my second routine of the night. Yes, I know it's "Gimme More" by Britney Spears, but it is the perfect song to dance to. I got a lot of crap from the girls at the club for picking that one, but I just ignored them. I figured that Britney's just as much of a freak as I am.

I danced. The song came and went. Before I knew it, I was off stage again, waiting for my third routine to start about an hour later.

I sat backstage, wondering if tonight would be the night he would come to get me. I wished so much that my dream would come true—that I would be up there dancing and spot him in the back of the club. It seemed like only a few moments I had been day dreaming, until one of my friends and co-dancers, Matilda came running into the dressing room.

"Giada! You're up next! Get your Jade face on now!" she exclaimed as she pulled me from the chair. I quickly fixed myself and ran to the curtain. "Helter Skelter" began. Gotta love the Dana Fuchs version, not that the Beatles' version isn't good! But when it comes to dancing at a gentlemen's club, Dana Fuchs has the right idea. In any case, I danced with the same blank stare on my face as I had the rest of the night and walked off stage. I just wanted my last song to be on so I could go home. I wished he would come, but it was getting late by now.

The minutes seemed to creep on by as I waited for my last song to begin. We always end the night with our first song. I think it's because it's always the song we do our best at. It was probably 1:15 AM when my finishing song was due up. "Welcome back to the stage for her final dance of the night, the Joker's Jade!" the announcer said.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes as I walked out onto the stage for my second dance to "Time is Running Out". I grabbed hold of the pole and slid down it. I kept my eyes focused on the stage until I came back up. I decided to finally gaze back up from the stage and out to the crowd. My heart stopped. At the back of the club, I saw him. His back was turned for the moment. The Joker had just come into the club. I decided to sing out on this last dance—for him. I picked it up and tried to get his attention.

"I wanna play the game, I want the friction. You will be the death of me. Yeah you will be the death of me. Bury it. I won't let you bury it. I won't let you smother it. I won't let you murder it. Our time is running out—our time is running out," I sang as I danced. He turned towards the stage and saw me. Grinning, he watched me from the back of the club. His face was perfectly painted white and his purple suite was clean and crisp. His lips were red and his eyes black, as always. My heart skipped another beat as we finally made eye contact. I out a sly smile as I dropped to the ground and crawled to the edge of the stage and continued to sing.

"I wanted freedom, bound and restricted. I tried to give you up, but I'm addicted…" I sang, staring straight to the back of the club at the Joker.

"It's Jade's Joker!" some of the men laughed as they saw me singing to him. The Joker just kept grinning and licking his lips as I performed my song for him. His eyes shifted about the club every now and then and finally back at me on the stage. I couldn't help but smile as the song finished up and I strutted of stage. I wanted to run out there and see him, but I had to act the part, because let's face it—he was in a gentlemen's club called The Jokers Wild with a painted face. There was no way anyone would ever believe he was the notorious criminal, The Joker.

"Oh Giada, who is that guy with the painted face? He wouldn't stop watching you with that creepy grin!" Matilda exclaimed when I got back to the dressing room. I laughed as I began putting on the rest of my costume.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I responded with a chuckle.

"No?" she asked as she folded her arms across her chest, "Well try me,"

"They call him the Joker," I stated as I touched up my face paint.

"Oh like that criminal out in Gotham?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess. I don't really know who that is," I lied with a laugh.

"Well just be careful, Giada. He looked creepy," Matilda responded.

"Don't worry. I know him—he's a personal friend from high school. I think he came here as a joke. We haven't seen each other in years!" I exclaimed with excitement. Man, I was getting really good at lying.

"Oh well then get out there!" Matilda exclaimed as she took away my makeup and shoved me out the door.

"No, I'm not done yet!" I giggled as she dragged me to the club door.

"I don't care! You have a friend waiting for you! Now go!" she laughed as she pushed me through the door and slammed it behind me. Glancing around, I couldn't see the Joker anywhere. I decided maybe he was still in the back of the club. As Jokers Jade, I strut around the club, pretending to be interested in the other men, but I was really keeping an eye out for my Joker.

When I had finally done an entire round about the club, I ended at the back to the club where he had been standing during my performance. I stood there, shoulder's slumped in confusion as I quickly turned my head about in search of him. Where the hell did he go?! Did he leave without saying good-bye? Was he going to blow up Boston?!

"You sure know how get a man's attention up there," a voice said from behind me. I spun around to see his face smiling back at me.

"You scared the shit out of me!" I exclaimed as I smacked the Joker's arm. My heart was racing a million miles a minute. He licked his lips and let out a cackle of delight.

"So nice to see you too, Giaaaaada!" he giggled as he swept his hair back from his face.

"Sorry—I just thought you left or something. I wasn't expecting you to be standing right behind me," I explained.

"Nope! Here I am! I came…for you," he said with a grin.

"Oh good, that's my professional goal here at the Jokers Wild," I said sarcastically. He let out a laugh, clearly enjoying the innuendo. "This way," I said finally as I took his gloved hand and led him through the crowed towards the private rooms.

"Jade's got her Joker! She's gonna give him a private dance, huh?" some guy said as we brushed passed him. I glanced back and smirked.

"Well of course—he came for me and I'm gonna make sure he comes again," I replied, still smirking. I loved making dirty innuendos! I dragged the Joker into a room and shut the curtain behind us.

"Finally a little privacy," I said as I turned to him. He was already sitting on the couch, licking his lips and smiling back at me.

"It's been too long, Giada. Gotham's in need of its higher class of criminals!" he stated with a giggle.

"Oh, is that so? I heard via the news that you've been doing just fine without me—blowing up the city as usual," I replied, still standing in front of him.

"Oh but it's never quite as fun as when you have a partner in crime," he responded, raising his eyebrows and widening his eyes.

"Well if you wanted me back that badly, what took you so long to figure out I was here in Boston?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"I like sending a message—obviously these things take time," he stated, licking his lips.

"How did you know I was in Boston? Did Batman tell you?" I asked.

"The Batman," he said in a low voice. He paused, as if in revelation.

"Yes, Batman. He's the one who sent me here from Gotham," I stated, "Did you know that?"

"The Batman…see…look, listen…" he cleared his throat, "A man like me can easily be caught up in…trivial…criminal circumstances, but when it comes to the Batman…well, nothing's trivial," he said as his eyes seemed to grow darker. I could see the hate rising within him. There was no way he knew Batman sent me here.

"Aw, Joker, don't be mad at Batman," I said, changing my stance and voice entirely to be more cutesy—you know, try to take his mind off of hating Batman. I bounced over to the couch and knelt down beside him.

"I mean, this is what you love, isn't it—your epic battle with Batman—I mean, you're destined to do this with him…forever," I coaxed him as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"He knows…he knew where you were—and he knows I wanted to find you but he didn't tell me," the Joker responded.

"Well, did you ask nicely, or did you hold your peeler up to his mouth?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Gotham got what it deserved—as did…the Batman," he stated in a low voice, ignoring my question. I didn't really know what to say. He clearly wasn't buying my "be cute" take on things.

"Joker, look, listen—you found me, I'm here. Batman's in Gotham—we're here, just you and me—alone—and no Batman anywhere close to here," I stated in a more serious manner. Holy shit—we were alone. Batman wasn't anywhere near us. Harvey Dent was dead. It was just the Joker and I—alone in my city. He was still silent. I looked around the room for a moment and then back to him.

"Hey, do you like what I did with my face paint?" I asked finally. He turned his head and a smile broke out on his face. Then his smile faded as he licked his lips and turned himself entirely towards me. Sitting sideways on the couch, he got onto his knees and crawled towards me as I backed myself up to the arm on the other side of the couch. He When I could back up no further, he crawled on top of me, half smiling as he licked his lips. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to tell him I loved him. We were finally alone—like in my dream. I reached down into his pocket for a moment.

"You know? I like it," he said finally in response to my question about my face paint.

"Oh I'm so glad—" I began but stopped as he placed his hand on my face and held it firmly in place.

"But it's missing one…little thing," he said as he held the peeler up to my face with his other hand. Holy shit. I was not anticipating this! I was maybe hoping for a kiss—not a knife being held to my face! Oh who was I kidding? I was in love with a murdering criminal. I should have not only anticipated this, but should have expected this! It really had been too long. I just let him hold it there. I didn't know what to do or say. He just held the knife to my face. Was he going to put it in my mouth? What was he waiting for?

"Do it," I said finally.

"What?" he asked, taken off guard by my statement.

"I said 'do it'. If you're going to cut my face, just do it. Don't stall like this. It's killing me," I said finally as I took in a deep breath.

"Where's the fun if there's no anticipation?" he asked with a crazed grin.

"Well, maybe if you could figure out the right reasons for cutting my face, maybe it would be even more fun," I responded.

"How so?" he asked.

"Well, if you thought it would make you happy to see my face like yours, then do it. If not, then maybe there is another reason for you to cut me. Maybe there is no reason at all. Maybe you just want to cut someone and I happen to be a convenient victim for you," I stated.

"Oh Giada, you're no victim," he stated, "And besides—why let me?"

"Why should I let you cut my face? I have my reasons," I responded.

"Do share!" he giggled adjusted his grip on the blade.

"Would it make you love me?" I asked finally as my heart pounded inside my chest and my stomach whirled about inside. He pursed his lips together as he looked down for a moment. Finally, as he looked back up at me, he slid the blade into my mouth.

Would I really let him cut me? Well, from the looks of things, it felt like he was going to cut me no matter what. But did I really want him to cut me if it meant he could love me? That was the sickest and most disturbing thought I had ever had, but my answer was even more disturbing. The answer in my head was yes—I'd let him if it meant he could love me.

But what of his answer? Would he just cut my face for no reason at all? Would he cut my face and tell me he could love me if I were like him? Would he cut my face at all?

"You know, I was going to say that was a poor choice of words, Giada," he said finally as he let the blade linger inside my mouth. I really couldn't stand this dance of sado-masochism.

"But…?" I managed to ask. He licked his lips and parted his lips as if about to speak. He then sat back on his heels, still holding the blade in my mouth and paused for a moment. Finally, he leaned forward once more and moved his face close to mine.

"But—where's the…fun…in this," he said as he removed the blade from my mouth and made a cutting motion with the blade on his own face, "when you…already smile all the time?"

"Huh?" I was so confused by his rhetoric that I didn't even see it coming.

"Let's…put a smile on that face," he said finally.