-Chapter 20-

When they pulled up to the house Rachel got out before Quinn could say anything. By the time the blonde got to the living room Rachel had disappeared, leaving Jim and Chuck both standing and looking more angry than Quinn had ever seen them.

"She didn't drink," Quinn said. "She just locked herself in the bathroom for a while and Santana got mad. Can I please talk to her first?"

"Let her know she can expect to be punished very, very severely," Chuck said.

Quinn nodded and ascended the stairs slowly, trying to gather her thoughts. By the time she reached Rachel's door she was still trying to figure out exactly what she was going to say. She contemplated just leaving it alone but she knew that it would be another sleepless night if she attempted it so she knocked quietly. As expected, there was no response. Quinn opened the door to find it dark save for the light coming in from the window but that was blocked by Rachel standing there, looking out at the back yard.

"Guess this means you're sorry," Quinn sang quietly.

Rachel whipped around and Quinn could feel the brunette's stare on her. "You're standin' at my door," came the response.

"Guess this means you take back all you said before. Like how much you wanted anyone but me."

"Said you'd never come back, but here you are again."

Quinn sighed and crossed the floor. "We need to talk."

Rachel nodded. "I'm fairly certain that I have a lot of begging to do."

"Yeah, you do."

Quinn turned on the light that rested on Rachel's bedside table and sat at the head at the bed, Rachel crawled up and sat at the opposite end and folded her hands in her lap. "How did it feel when you found out you were pregnant, Quinn?"

"Uh…"

"I just…I want to know how it felt."

"Rachel, are you…"

"No! No, no, no! It's…I see you with Elizabeth and I see what a good mother you are but I know that before you got pregnant you knew what you wanted. You would go through high school being the head cheerleader on Finn's arm and then you'd go to college and get married and live this cookie cutter life out of a magazine."

"Except it was you that I wanted. I probably would've broken down sooner or later and admitted that I wanted you, baby or no baby."

"The point I'm trying to make is that a lot of things happened to you that made you change what you thought you wanted."

Quinn nodded. "It was scary. Really, really scary. Everything. Finding out I was pregnant, admitting to you how I really felt. It all just…it wasn't part of the plan and the plan was what I was comfortable with."

"Then you'll understand when I tell you that you weren't part of my plan. Elizabeth wasn't part of it. Falling in love with the ex-head cheerleader turned glee club member with a daughter who had fallen from the top of the social pyramid was not part of my plan, Quinn. Helping her raise her child, not in the plan. The plan was to get through high school, go to Julliard, get on Broadway, live happily ever after. That was my plan, Quinn. Then you called me from Finn's house."

"And I ruined everything?"

"You didn't ruin anything. You just…you changed the plan and I didn't realize it until I started filling out my application for Julliard. That's why I had somewhat of an emotional breakdown. I had this dream one night that you and I were older and I came home to a nice house and you met me at the door with a kiss and so did Elizabeth and I looked around and there were no Tonys or Grammys or anything and you asked me how work was and I started telling you about the students I was teaching and I realized that we were in Lima and I was teaching at McKinley and I'd never made it to New York…and I was happy."

"It's just a dream, Rach. We both know you're going to New York."

"I know but…it made me realize that maybe I'd be happy if that's how things were. And it scared me. All I've ever known that I wanted was being a star and it really, honestly scared me when I realized that maybe that's not the most important thing in life."

"You'll be a star, Rachel. You will."

Rachel nodded. "I'm so sorry, Quinn. I know things can't go back to the way they were right now but…could they? Ever?"

Quinn honestly had to stop and think before giving a response. "I'll make you a deal."

Rachel nodded again. "Anything."

"Apologize to Mr. Schuester and come back to glee club. If he doesn't want you in the lead then accept it and do your best in whatever part you get. Trust me, this may be your only chance at socialization for a long time."

"Okay. Again…I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry, too. For what I said, you know I didn't mean it."

"Did I hurt you when I…you know, tackled you?"

"My back hurt for a few days."

Tears formed in Rachel's eyes and her gaze dropped to her lap. "I'm so sorry Quinn…you know I would never…I…I would never…I was just angry and that's no excuse, no excuse at all. I was also hurt at what you said and again that's no excuse for my behavior. I should never have even thought about…"

"I know, Rachel."

"I promise you it will never happen again. Never again, okay? I'll do anything you want to make it up to you. Anything you want. I love you, I really love you and whatever I have to do to prove it to you, I will. Just tell me." Rachel was shaking and Quinn reached forward to brush away her tears.

"It'll be okay."

Rachel nodded and sniffled. "I fully understand if you don't want to attempt to rekindle our relationship due to my behavior but I would like it very much if you thought about it. And if my affair with Noah during our hiatus is any influence on your decision…I…it didn't mean anything."

"It would be kind of hypocritical of me to not date you just because you slept with Puck."

Rachel was quiet.

"Can I have a little time to think about it?"

"Of course, definitely. I didn't expect you to answer immediately."

"It's late," Quinn said. "I should go to bed."

Rachel nodded. "Whenever you want to talk…I'll be here."

Quinn left Rachel's room and quickly made her way to her own. She collapsed on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. It was hard leaving Rachel's room but it was what she had to do. Part of her really, really wanted to just stay there and snuggle up to Rachel and tell her she loved her and everything would be just fine and they could immediately go back to being best friends and lovers…but she couldn't. Aside from still being slightly upset over the events of Christmas Day, hearing that Rachel would gladly give up Julliard to be with Quinn left the blonde feeling conflicted. There was a time when she would beg Rachel to stay but she knew that Rachel would eventually resent her if she ever did that. Quinn ultimately decided that yes, she would give Rachel another chance but not right away. The relationship was shaky at best and Quinn needed to prove to the both of them that if Rachel went to New York that they could survive.

Rachel was grounded for two months and told that her behavior had to be absolutely perfect if she wanted to go to the live auditions to Julliard assuming she was given the chance. Since Rachel wasn't allowed near anything remotely entertaining Quinn picked out a few of her favorite books and they would sit together on the couch and take turns reading. Usually their fingers ended up laced in the space between them.

Rachel came to the first glee practice when school started again and issued a formal apology not only to Mr. Schuester but to the entire club as well and a vote was held as to whether or not to allow her to come back. It was a unanimous yes, as long as Rachel promised to keep her diva-fits to once a week. Brittany squealed when Rachel took Quinn's hand while they looked through their new sheet music for regionals. Quinn saw Rachel's shoulders drop slightly when she was handed the alto part and Mercedes was given the lead for the number.

"You promised," the blonde whispered. Rachel nodded. She belted out the harmonies and the chorus with everyone else and watched Mercedes take the lead with Finn. Everyone watched Rachel carefully after the number ended, expecting her to yell about how much better she could've done it. Instead she smiled and told Mercedes how great she was. Quinn heard the quiver of jealousy in Rachel's voice but she couldn't have been more proud in that moment.

Rachel's appearance improved drastically when she re-joined glee club. The dark circles disappeared and her figure returned, which Quinn loved. She no longer felt like she would break the singer just by hugging her.

It was the end of January when Rachel came bouncing into Quinn's room holding an envelope and squealing. She pulled Quinn into a hug and the pair fell back onto Quinn's bed with Rachel still squealing excitedly.

"I play!" Elizabeth squealed from the floor.

Elizabeth hopped up off the floor and ran to the two girls and climbed on top of Rachel. She hugged the brunette tight around the neck and Quinn slipped out from under her and pulled the young girl away. Rachel sat up and Elizabeth immediately wriggled out of Quinn's arms and into Rachel's.

"I'm going to guess that something exciting happened?" Quinn said with a smile.

"I got a letter from Julliard."

"And?"

"I haven't opened it yet."

"You are excited over a letter you haven't opened?"

"I wanted to be with you when I did it."

Rachel slowly peeled open the envelope and pulled out the papers inside. She opened up the letter and began reading. Her eyes widened and Quinn's heart leapt when Rachel thrust the letter at her and her eyes scanned over the words that Rachel had been dying to hear since the day she sent in her audition CD.

"You got a live audition!" Quinn squealed

Rachel stood and lifted Elizabeth with her. She twirled around with the girl in her arms and Quinn jumped up to hug the brunette, pinning her daughter in between them.

"You're on your way," Quinn said, resting her forehead on Rachel's. "You're one step closer to your dream."

Rachel nodded and Elizabeth kissed the brunette's cheek. Quinn leaned in and gently brushed her lips against Rachel's and she couldn't help but smile when she felt Rachel's lips curl upwards.