Hey there everyone! Ok, so I know the title of this chapter could come off as a bit depressing, but don't let that worry you too much. Stuff's gonna happen, but nothing overly bad :) And just a side note, the dates in this chapter might be messed up; because I can't remember the timeline I was going with here. So just to help everyone out: The story started late May, Emily got pregnant at that time, Bella graduated, Emily and Sam got married 5 months later so early Fall, and…. Yeah, just ignore any other references to time of the year that have been in this story! I realised they don't really make sense. So for the record, now it's January.

Chapter 21: If Only

Done. Dear God I love that word. I could say it over and over and over again. Done, done, done, done, done, done, and done! The house is done. Our house is finished. Is it perfect? By definition no, but to us? Yes. It was absolutely perfect. We'd barely been in the house for five minutes and already I was in love. I was in love with the way the front door leads straight into the cozy living room, with its plush red couches and stained oak coffee table. I was in love with the wood stove that took the place of center piece away from a television. I was in love with the small-ish kitchen with its pine counter tops and cupboards, and the gas stove that we had decided on. I was in love with the bathroom with its chocolate brown towels and shower curtain, and the blurred window above the tub. I was in love with the staircase that curved around, leading upstairs to the second floor. I was in love with the bedrooms on the second floor, one serving as a small office and the other as our own personal getaway. I was in love with the laundry room containing only a washer and dryer, and nothing else. It was quaint, just big enough for the two of us, and the best thing I've ever had the pleasure to call my own. Quite simply, it was home.

The very day that it was officially finished, Jake and I moved in. We packed up our things and moved straight in. There was no hesitation, no last minute doubts, no wondering what would happen if something went wrong, we had confidence in each other, and we had confidence in our new life.

To celebrate and to thank everyone for their hard work, Jake and I decided to throw a party in our new home. Well, mainly in the yard. The yard was much bigger than the house itself, so there was no way the Pack was going to fit into the small living room. Jacob started barbequing at around 3 o'clock, and I was in the process of setting out paper plates when everyone began to file in through the trees. It was somewhat odd seeing guests show up via the woods, but this was the Pack, almost nothing was odd anymore with them.

.

It took much longer than I would've hoped, but the Pack eventually dispersed from the house in the early hours of the morning. Jake had been acknowledging my itch for them to leave since much earlier in the evening, but he'd said nothing and tuck close to me. He wanted some alone time as bad as I did, but the Pack was family and Jake and I now lived together, so some family time was needed too.

It was the perfect end to the perfect day- to watch as everyone filed off to their own homes (well, minus Sam and Emily. Emily wasn't feeling the best so she stayed home) and have Jake and I be left to our own home, the quiet and comfort of our own home. Jake turned to me just as the last of our family disappeared into the darkness.

"Finally," He sighed in exaggeration, "I thought they'd never leave!" The early morning light illuminated one side of his face, casting soft shadows over his cheekbones and letting his eyes glitter in the dark.

I laughed lightly, gliding my hands over his chest and linking them at the base of his neck. "Well they're gone now," I whispered, leaning in to bring my lips a hair's breadth from his. "What'd you want to do?" He met my gaze with his for a long time, silent daring in his eyes.

"Well personally I was thinking we could do some arts and crafts, maybe some knitting, that kind of thing." He shrugged. I raised my eyebrow in disbelief. "Or we could go fuck the shit out of each other, either or." I grinned.

"That option sounds like fun," I agreed, letting him sweep me into his arms and start off towards the house. I leaned in to kiss him, making him stumble. He grumbled as I laughed at him, quickening his stride and paying more attention to his leg movements.

"Remind me not to go rock climbing with you," He stated, pushing the door open. "You might kiss me and make me fall off the edge."

I smirked. "I wouldn't do that to you Babe," I assured him, tangling my fingers in his hair suggestively, tugging lightly on the roots. "You should know me better than that by now." He turned to look at me, almost reading my mind with his gaze. He could see that I was blatantly lying, and a grin immediately burst across his face.

"Isabella Swan you can lie to your father, you can lie to the world, but how DARE you even THINK you could lie to me?" He laughed, swinging me into the house. I laughed too, but it came out much shriller than my normal laughter. I shut my mouth, looking very confused, wondering how I'd made such a sound. Jake looked confused as well, dropping his jaw to ask a question. But as he did, the shrill noise came again, and we realised that it wasn't us. It was Jake's cell phone.

"Damnit," Jake growled, ignoring the insistent ring. I looked at him disapprovingly, fighting my own urge to ignore the phone call.

"Jake it's late, no one would call at this time, it might be important." I explained. "Answer it,"

Jake gave me the most pitiful look I've ever seen him give, and gestured down to the pulsating bulge in his jeans. I reached down and rubbed my hand over it, caressing a firm wall of hard tissue. I grinned. "Jacob. Answer your phone."

He huffed something that sounded like: "Someone had better be dying," before putting the phone to his ear muttering a harsh "What?" He was silent for a minute while someone sputtered something on the other end, Jake growing more and more serious with each word. There was a point where he almost dropped me he was so focused, so I jumped down from his grip. Finally he hung up the phone and didn't say anything, but grabbed his jacket from the coat hook at the door.

"Jake, what's going on?" I asked frantically.

"Bells I'm sorry but we have to go to the hospital," Jake explained, grabbing the keys to his Rabbit that was parked alongside the road as we didn't have a driveway yet. "Emily's in labour."

The colour I'd recently gained to my face instantly drained. I immediately reached for my green leather jacket, but Jake had already grabbed it for me and was holding it out. I accepted it and soon we were out the door, rushing to the car. Well, so much for our first night in our new house, if only we could live a normal life for just one day. If only…

.

Seeing a bunch of oversized teenagers cramped in a hospital waiting room was something to laugh at, definitely something to laugh at. Each one of us was a nervous wreck, though we had different ways of showing it. Leah, Jay and I were the ones sitting down with our knees bobbing up and down with excitement and slight panic, discussing things like baby names and anything else we could think of. Emily was a month or two early, and many of us were wondering what was happening in the delivery room. Jake and Paul were pacing the room, Embry was lightly joking with Seth, Colin, and Brady, Quil was sitting in a chair doing his own thing, with Jared right next to him, and Sam was in the delivery room with Emily.

"She'll be fine right?" Quil asked nervously. "Like, both her and the baby will be fine right?"

"They'll be ok," Jay assured him. She was only wearing what seemed to be Embry's pyjamas, and a sweater, but she didn't appear at all fazed. "My cousin was born 4 months premature, and he's fine now. I'm sure Emily can handle this." That seemed to help ease the tension in the room.

An agonizing 3 hours passed before we heard any word. The doctor came out and told us that Emily was finally dilated enough and she was about to start pushing. My first question was why she'd been in the delivery room if she wasn't technically in 'labour' yet, and the doctor responded with a simple "not enough spare rooms." That was comforting (note: insert sarcasm here).

We were in the hospital well into the next day before we got any more news. At around 1 in the afternoon, a familiar face came into the waiting room. Sam stood, lines etched into his features, sweat on his brow and bags under his eyes, looking unbelievably stressed. We all looked to him as any activity stopped. He was silent for a long time, contemplating us all.

After a long moment, he broke into a grin. "It's a boy."

.

Joshua Marcus Uley was his name- Born on January 23rd, 2011. Emily and Sam were the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy. The Pack wasn't permitted to see the baby right away, we all got a little look when Sam showed him off, but other than that he remained in the room with his mother. This was all a little weird to us, seeing as we were his family, but we let it slide. What Sam and Emily did with their baby was their business.

We tried to wait around to see Emily after the birth, but according to Sam she was just too tired. We understood, and slowly the group dwindled until it was just Jake, Leah and I left. We were beginning to consider leaving ourselves when Sam arrived, looking relieved that it was just us.

"Hey Sam, how's Emily?" Leah asked, curious about the condition of her cousin. Sam smiled.

"She's great, she's got a fever, but other than that she'll be ok." We took the news graciously. "And Josh is great, sorry for not letting you see him, but since he's premature he needs to be under watch for a while. I didn't want to tell all of you; didn't want everyone to worry."

That made sense. We smiled at him, confirming that we all understood. Sam smiled, but it was strained. He looked to us all for a moment before he inhaled again, preparing to say something. "Listen, I have a favour to ask each of you."

We turned to Sam with interested expressions. It didn't seem like anything bad, so I wasn't worried. But when Sam asked any of us for a favour, it was always of the utmost importance. It came with being the Pack Leader.

He looked to us. "Jake, Leah, we want you to be Joshua's Godparents." Leah and Jake looked surprised, but it quickly turned to pride. I grinned; Sam and Emily couldn't have picked better Godparents for their child- I knew that he would be in safe hands if they were ever needed. "And Bella? Do you think I could talk to you privately?"

I nodded and gestured for Sam to lead the way. He brought me down the hallway and to the wooden door separating Emily and her baby from the world. I looked into the small window and saw Emily sound asleep on her hospital bed, tired looking and sweat covered, with Josh sleeping soundly beside her. I smiled, even exhausted and in sleep she looked blissfully happy with her life, the kind of bliss only a new mother could appreciate. I hoped that one day I could experience that bliss.

"Bella, I bit Emily." Sam admitted gruffly, sounding ashamed. I turned to him in shock- had he just said what I think he said? The look in his eyes confirmed what I thought- he really had bitten Emily.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you all sooner," Sam apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. "But Emily hit me with this big spiel after Joshua was born, about how she wanted to be part of the family, and how she wanted to be like you," He told me. I felt a sudden guilt, but I pushed it down. "I didn't want to tell her no, but I didn't want her to live this life either. In the end, I couldn't refuse her." Sam wasn't looking at me anymore; he was looking in the window at Emily, a sad longing etched into his face. "Bella, she's going to turn any day now. She's already healing faster than any doctor has seen in his life, and she needs some time away to control her temper. You did amazing during your transformation, but you know how hard it was to control the little flares." I knew.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, eager to aid with anything I could. Sam looked happy that I was offering, so I hid any worry I might have had on my face.

"Bella I know it's a lot to ask, but Emily will be out of the hospital later today." Sam explained. "She's healing that quickly- preparing to change. So, if you wouldn't mind, could you and Jake take Josh for the next few nights? Maybe until Friday?"

I counted in my head. Friday. Today was Sunday. It would be almost a full week with a newborn that we had no idea how to handle, in a house that we'd only just built and hadn't even spent a night in yet. I was tempted to decline, but the look on Sam's face was nearly impossible to deny. I released a sigh.

"Yes Sam, we can watch Josh for a while." I agreed, instantly regretting the decision. Sam looked over the moon with gratitude, hugging me instantly and tightly.

"Thank you Bella, you have no idea how much this means to me." He sighed.

I assured him it was no problem, but in reality I was more than slightly disappointed that I wouldn't be alone with Jake until Friday at least. If only we could live a normal life for just one day. My shoulders drooped. If only…

A bit sort so sorry about that, but what I REALLY need to apologize for is the delay! I'm *breathes* SORRY you guys! I've been handling a lot of stuff recently- I moved, my Dad's moving, my Step-Mom's sister died, a lot of crap has been going down. So I did have a reason! I really did! But I'm back now, hopefully for a while. I already have the next chapter started, so it shouldn't take that long to finish. Okay you guys, thanks for sticking with me this long! I love each and every one of you! …except you. No, I'm kidding!